by Jon F. Merz
His eyes grew wide then when he saw the tanto blade catch a glint from a nearby light and reflect into his dilated eyes.
With my last ounce of strength, I let his head go and simultaneously swung the length of the blade down and through his neck, decapitating him with one stroke of the finely honed steel.
A column of blood heaved out of him spraying off the side of the rooftop. His head rolled to the rooftop, eyes open, and now entirely vacant. A final gasp of air escaped his lips, like a last sighing breath.
And it was over.
I wiped the tanto off on his cloak and replaced it in its sheath. It took me a few minutes to gather my breath, to calm the adrenaline that had been flooding my system, to come back down from the combat mode I’d been in.
I grabbed Cosgrove’s head by a scruff of hair and stood looking out at the city. I scanned the nearby roof tops but couldn’t see anything.
Talya was gone. If she’d ever been there to begin with.
Looking out over the city, everything seemed still. The winds had died down. The chill had thawed. Even the night seemed a little lighter.
Those of us who belong to the profession believe in the Balance as being more than just the line between humans and vampires. It’s the scheme of universal justice, the laws of totality ruling that every act of evil will someday answer to an act of good.
Maybe tonight, the Balance had been restored.
It sure seemed like it.
Maybe.
Or maybe it was just that I was tired as hell.
I raised Cosgrove’s head in silent salute. To Zero, Simbik, Robin, and to the last vestiges of my haunted, imperfect past. Beneath me, above me, and all around me, the city slept.
And suddenly, that seemed like a very good idea, indeed.
Epilogue
The next day dawned a lot brighter than I would have preferred given the fact that I could easily have slept for another twelve hours. Unfortunately, cleaning up the mess of Cosgrove’s insidious plot meant an unexpected trip to see the Council. Normally, Fixers never actually went before the Council since our respective Controls usually acted as intermediaries. But since McKinley had come to a rather sudden death and I was sans a handler, I went in person.
The brownstone on Beacon Hill seemed as old as the city itself with a heavy wrought iron fence barring outsiders. A pair of gargoyles loomed over the main entrance glaring at me as I paused to ring the bell.
It took three minutes for Arthur, who looked desperate for some plastic surgery in daylight, to answer the door and show me inside.
"I heard," he said by way of greeting.
I sighed. "Couldn’t be helped. Believe me, I tried to find another way."
"I know it. We’ll miss him, his old friends, we will."
"Yeah." But I felt like I’d miss him more than anyone else.
Arthur laid a hand on my shoulder. "You did your best, aye?"
"I did."
"Then that’s as much an honor as he could have hoped for. You understand that, Lawson?"
Maybe I did. It still hurt like hell. I looked at him. " I need to see them."
He nodded at the bag I carried. "Can I take that for you?"
"No. Thanks. I’ll hold on to it."
He gestured ahead of me down the corridor. "You know the way. I’ll introduce you."
We walked down a mahogany paneled hallway passing painted portraits of former Council members who had since passed on. The thick red carpet underfoot muffled our footsteps as we continued on. I came to the conclusion that the interior of the house was a lot larger than it seemed from the outside.
Arthur paused outside of a heavy oak door and nodded. "Good luck."
I waited until he’d disappeared again down the hall and then grasped the doorknob, turned it, and swung it open.
A wall of heat from a crackling fireplace enveloped me as I stepped inside and let my eyes grow accustomed to the dimly-lit interior.
There were six of them in total. All older than me by hundreds of years. Four men and two women sitting in the thick, worn high-backed leather chairs in a half circle. We stared at each other for a moment and finally one of them, older than the others, spoke.
"Lawson." He seemed unsure of my presence.
I nodded. "McKinley is dead."
"How?"
"Part of a conspiracy to destabilize the Council, to disrupt the fabric of our community, and threaten the Balance itself."
"What proof have you?"
Probably a lifetime of scars. "If you search his home on Marlborough Street, you’ll find coded files on his computer showing distributions and account numbers."
"Money?" He laughed. "Absurd. McKinley would have no want of money."
"Children."
He stopped. "What did you say?"
"The distributions were sex slaves. McKinley’s taste ran to the obscene. He was a pedophile, a predator and took his bribe from Cosgrove in the form of children he could corrupt."
"How do you know this?"
"We interrupted one of his trysts."
"You mentioned Cosgrove. I take it he was involved?"
I sighed. "Cosgrove was the instigator of this whole affair. I told you a long time ago that he was dangerous. You chose not to listen to me. Scores of humans have perished as a result."
"Humans do not interest us."
"Bull shit."
That got their attention. I continued. "You know as well as I do that we need humans. Without them, we’d be extinct in a generation. Cosgrove’s flagrant disregard for the Balance, for the laws that govern us, almost resulted in our deaths."
"Perhaps."
"Perhaps nothing. You were his first target. With you out of the way, he intended to set himself up as dictator. He’d recruited Controls from all over the Northeast to help him."
"Who?"
"Xavier. McKinley. Possibly others. I can’t be sure." The heat made me sweat. "Both of them are dead. As is Zero."
"Zero was involved, too?"
"Zero is the one you should all be thankful for. He discovered the conspiracy, confided in me, and together we defeated the traitors. Cosgrove, however, had more up his sleeve than just a simple conspiracy of betrayal. He invoked the Sargoth and used Zero’s body as the host."
The were murmurs in the room. The old one shushed them and turned back to me. "The Sargoth? You’re joking. That’s nothing but a legend."
"Then I fought a legend last night."
One of the women spoke up. "If that’s true. You’d be dead."
"The host body was destroyed. According to the ancient texts, it had to be that way. The Sargoth was banished back to wherever he came from. He couldn’t exist on this plane without a live host body."
"Indeed. And what of Cosgrove?"
"I killed him."
The old one smiled. "So, after all this time, you finally succeeded."
I frowned. "Seems to me you’d be happy for that fact."
He shrugged. "All of this matters little over time."
I shifted the bag at my side. "I’ve done my duty."
"So you have." He paused and looked at the others. "There are other matters to discuss, however. It has come to our attention that you have committed some crimes yourself."
"What the hell does that mean?"
He looked at me. "The human woman named Talya. You are in love with her. The laws, our laws, state that is forbidden."
"I don’t think that’s an issue anymore."
"No?"
"I left her before I killed Cosgrove. She’s likely so upset she’ll never want to see me again."
"That doesn’t change the fact that you loved her."
"No," I said. "It doesn’t. But like you said. All of this matters little over time."
"Some things matter more than others."
I took a deep breath. "And you’re telling me that the massive conspiracy I helped crush, the evil I dispatched back to wherever it came from, the deaths of several associates I considered frie
nds, and the very destiny of our community doesn’t matter as much as me falling in love with a human?"
"We didn’t say that."
"Sure sounds to me like you just did."
"May I remind you, Lawson, that you are before the Council?"
"Remind me all you want. Right now, I’m the only goddamned Fixer you’ve got operational in this sector who wasn’t ready to see you all killed. Do you understand that? The only one. Seems to me you can overlook my small transgression and focus instead on the bigger picture."
"We’ll take that into consideration."
"You do that. In the meantime, I need a new Control. And try to make sure he’s not a goddamned traitor this time. I also want a few weeks of leave."
"Why on earth for?"
"Recuperation. I need a rest. Fighting the Sargoth and Cosgrove isn’t exactly a prescription for healthy living. I’ll be home if you need me. You know the number." I turned to leave.
"Lawson."
I turned back around. "What?"
"Your actions with a human woman won’t be tolerated again."
No shit. But to be honest, the way I was feeling, I didn’t even care. I hefted the bag at my side. "Here." I lobbed the sack and watched as it tumbled through the air, landed in front of them and spilled Cosgrove’s grayish-hued blood encrusted head out onto the floor. Several of the Council members blanched and turned away.
I smirked. "You can do more with this than I can. Have fun cleaning up. I’m going home to sleep."
***
Outside, the typical November weariness had chased the sun away and replaced its warmth with wisps of gray indecision. I pulled the collar up on my leather jacket, turned left on Beacon Street and continued down toward Charles where the noontime lunch rush seemed in full swing.
At the Starbucks coffee shop I caught a glimpse in the window, felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up, and eased off down Beacon toward the Hampshire House. I crossed over into the Public Gardens and meandered through the winding asphalt pathways.
She caught up with me near the rose beds, long since wilted and hidden underground until the Spring warmth woke them again.
I sat down on the bench as she approached.
I smiled.
She didn’t.
She sat and kept a good six feet away from me. We were just two strangers on the bench. Even now, despite everything, she was professional to the end.
"You tried to fuck me, Lawson." It came out in a hiss. Spitting venom never sounded so hateful.
"I did fuck you, Talya."
"I’m not talking about the sex, I’m talking about screwing me out of my vengeance."
I kept looking straight ahead. "I did what I thought was necessary to protect your safety."
"You almost got yourself killed."
"Goes with the territory, hon."
"You make it sound so heroic. So noble." She snorted in derision. "Spare me that sentiment. I’ve heard it before."
"It’s my job."
"It’s more than a job to you, Lawson. I know that much about you."
"You know more about me than you’re willing to admit, Talya.
You said so yourself."
"Did I?"
"As I recall, you whispered that you didn’t care what I was."
She fell silent for just a moment. "Would you have told me?"
I didn’t know and told her as much. "But for what it’s worth, I knew you’d eventually realize it anyway."
"The man I killed on the roof. He was your friend. Zero, wasn’t he?"
I shook my head. "Not when you killed him. His body had been taken from him. Used as a conveyance for a powerful spirit entity. Zero was dead long before you killed his physical body."
"I wondered if you’d kill me for it. Do you know that?"
"For killing Zero? You did him a favor. Hell, you did me a favor." I shook my head. "Besides, I couldn’t kill you, Talya. I love you too much for that."
Even without looking at her, I could feel her gaze on me, intense, probing.
"What did you say?"
"I said what you thought I said." I turned, looking at her for the first time. "I mean it."
She looked away. "I don’t know what to say, Lawson."
"Say what you feel."
"I can’t deny I feel love for you. It’s more powerful than anything I’ve ever felt in my lifetime. It’s so tangible, it makes my heart yearn for you completely." She shook her head. "But you left me, Lawson. You left me, knowing how badly I needed to kill Cosgrove. You betrayed me."
"I saved your life, Talya."
"I saved your life, Lawson."
I nodded. "Yes. You did. And I’m eternally grateful for that. But if you’d been on that roof top with me, you would have perished. And you would have died without fulfilling your need for revenge. You’d have died empty. Alone."
"Maybe, but I would have tried-"
"You did try, and you did help kill Cosgrove. I certainly couldn’t have done what needed to be done without your help. Your timing was superb. It gave me the opening I needed."
She searched the surrounding area with her eyes. "How long have you lived, Lawson?"
"Over a hundred years."
"And how much longer will you live?"
I smirked. "Don’t know. In this line of work, you can never tell."
"Forget the goddamned line of work, Lawson. Tell me how long your kind lives."
"About four or five hundred years. On a good day."
"And how many other human women have you loved like me already in your lifetime, Lawson? How many other women have you watched grow old and die while you aged at a mere trifle in comparison?"
"None."
She seemed surprised. "None?"
"Love for a human is forbidden in our society. Sex is acceptable. Love is not. We’re prohibited from entering into a courtship with humans."
"But you told me you loved me."
"I do."
"But it’s forbidden."
"Yes. It is. And I don’t care."
She looked at me again and I smiled at her. Emotions seemed to dance over her face with no regard to rhythm and order.
"What’s the penalty for loving me, Lawson?"
I shrugged. "Depends, actually. It can range from a suspension to a termination order. With my record, I could get a suspension and the relationship would have to end. But with my attitude, they’d probably save themselves a lot of trouble and just order my death." I hesitated. "And yours."
She nodded. "I expected as much."
"But I don’t care, Talya. They can hunt us to the ends of the earth. I-"
"Lawson. Stop." She shook her head. "Listen to yourself. You’re talking like a naive fool. We’re both too professional for this sentiment. You know as well as I do that if they want us badly enough, they’ll find us no matter where we go. And I don’t like running. I never have. I’d much rather meet them head on and deal with it that way."
"They’d send more like me. Probably better. We’d die."
"Yes," she said. "We would."
I sighed.
Talya cleared her throat. "Which is why we can’t go on with this."
I turned to her. "What do you mean?"
"Lawson, you know what I mean. This-us-this whole thing has to end. Here. Now. I can’t have it on my conscience. I can’t ask you to sacrifice your job, your life, your everything just for me." She grinned. "Hell, we haven’t even really discussed the fact that you are a vampire, for god’s sakes. I can tell you that has messed me up something fierce."
"So what now?"
"Now nothing," said Talya. "Like I said, we end this. I want you out of my life. Forever."
"But-"
"But nothing, Lawson." She stood up and turned toward me. "Give me a hug and be done with it."
My heart ached. She looked so absolutely stunning in her long overcoat, her hair swept back off her face and tied in a neat bun. Her eyes even seemed moist. I knew it was tearing her up. H
ell, it was killing me.
But I hugged her anyway, felt her arms close around my waist, inhaled her perfume, tried to hold onto the scent forever, leaned in and kissed her cold moist cheeks.
"I love you."
She pulled out of my embrace, turned away and walked off. I watched her exit the park by the wrought iron gateway leading toward Newbury Street. In seconds, she’d been swallowed up by the crowds.
I wanted to chase after her so badly.
Wanted to catch her-
Wanted
I stayed solidly locked to the sidewalk. Unable to move. My heart pounded in my chest so hard it hurt like hell. I wanted to heave my guts all over the sidewalk.
But I didn’t.
After five minutes I began breathing again, aware of the moist heat I felt in my eyes.
Two minutes later I could walk again.
But I didn’t follow her.
I walked back to the Boston Common garage and descended the stairs until I reached the lower level. It was just as cold down here as it was outside. And in my heart I felt the coldest of all.
The Jetta warmed up quickly enough and I eased out of the space, turned left and wound my way up toward the cashier booth.
The kid inside looked almost nineteen. I tried to remember how I looked when I was nineteen, and how the world had looked when I was that young. I decided it was far too long ago and rolled down the window.
I felt in my jacket for the parking ticket, came out with a folded piece of paper instead, and opened it.
I’m assuming that whomever you work for has us under
surveillance. The words I spoke were for their benefit
alone. If you feel about me as I do you, I know we’ll
find a way to be together, regardless of the danger.
All my love – T.
Professional to the end. Somehow she’d known. I marveled at her skill.
"Sir?"
I snapped back to reality and looked at the parking attendant. "Yeah?"
"Your ticket?"
"Oh, yeah. Sorry."
He eyed me as I reached into my wallet and pulled out a twenty dollar bill. "Everything okay, sir?"