by Jw Grodt
“I don’t think I can hold anything solid down.”
“It’s okay, Dad. You really shouldn’t drink, though,” Jared said with concern.
“Don’t worry, son. I’m a big boy.”
Nicole kissed his forehead and suggested he could do as he pleased. “Sometimes my husband can be a bit like an old woman.” Then she laughed. Jared started to speak, and then changed his mind. When it was time to leave, they took Brad’s car and Jared drove. Brad got into the back and Nicole got in beside him.
“I sat in the back so you could ride up front with Jared.”
“Jared’s fine. You need someone to comfort you. I know how tough this is going to be. I can’t help but relive my parents’ funeral.”
Brad looked down at the hem of her black dress. As she shifted in her seat, it crept higher and higher up her thigh. He wanted to stroke her smooth, firm skin.
“You just hold on to me, Dad. I’m here for you.”
Brad couldn’t take his eyes off her exposed thigh. He struggled with the compulsion to touch her as visions of April lying in a casket pummeled him and made him disgusted with himself.
At the church, Jared and Nicole sat on either side of him in the first row. Later, at the gravesite, they sat the same way and Nicole held his arm tightly. Most attendees were solemn if not tearful. The wind whipped at the funeral tent flaps as a sea of umbrellas surrounded the open grave. Nicole was silent and shed no tears. She maintained a conciliatory half-smile as she whispered comforting words to him.
“It’s gonna be okay, Dad. I will take care of you.”
When the service was over the mourners were invited back to Brad’s place for food and drink. Nicole was the perfect hostess, seeing to everyone’s needs and, whenever she happened to be in the same room or pass by him, made sure to reach out and stroke his arm or rub his back. Every time she touched him he jumped. He just prayed that no one else took notice. It was all such a damned mess. And April had paid the price, for whatever reason, in the end.
* * *
Nicole went back to her usual domestic habits at the Wallace house. She would come by and prepare meals, pack his lunches, do his laundry. She would then return home to be there when Jared got home from work. Jared and Nicole would spend most of every Sunday with Brad.
It was the third of September, Brad and Julie’s wedding anniversary. Brad was in a half-sleep, envisioning Nicole coming to him in one of her plethora of short nighties. She would yet again say she would take care of him and slowly mount him, letting him grip those incredible, luscious melons. He awoke when he felt his erection throb to life. As he became aware of the significance of the date, he spoke aloud in frustration.
“Julie, so much has happened. If you hadn’t left me, I wouldn’t be going through all this shit! Damnit! You promised we’d grow old together; we even joked about it. Why did you abandon me?”
He lay there despondent for another hour. Nicole, for all her frequent presence, had made no nocturnal visits to his room. He tried to tell himself he was happy about that. She and Jared were coming over that afternoon. He secretly looked forward to seeing her, and at the same time soothed himself with a prayer of apology to his late wife, and to April.
The younger Wallaces showed up around noon. Jared suggested to his dad that they rake up some of the leaves that already covered the lawn in the rear of the house. Brad reluctantly agreed after Jared assured him they could finish the job in time for the Redskins game. Nicole volunteered to make sandwiches while Brad changed clothes.
They only missed the first twenty minutes of the game. He and Jared settled in with a few beers and watched as the Redskins lost, to Brad’s great disappointment. Nicole fixed dinner and they gathered around the table. As everyone started to eat, Brad made a comment about the pork tenderloin Nicole had prepared, noting how similar it was to Julie’s recipe.
“Dad, are you thinking of Mom because today is your anniversary?”
“Yes it’s always a sad time for me.”
Nicole took a sip of her wine. “By the way,” she said, “have you heard anything further from the police, about April?”
“Every now and then they call to ask a few of the same dumb questions; if I didn’t know anything then, why would I now?”
“Yeah, that young detective seemed really focused on you. I was surprised that you didn’t get angry with him,” Nicole said as she cut another piece of meat. Brad dropped his fork.
“Dad, what is it? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” Jared frowned as he stared at him.
“I think I did, son. What Nicole just said reminded me. There was this guy who had a huge bone to pick with April. I heard him screaming at her through the phone. Something about the sale of his property; she said his name was Carter, Mr. Carter. Damn, I had forgotten all about that.”
Nicole swallowed hard. “Dad, you must call the police and tell them.”
“Oh, I don’t know. It could be nothing.”
“Dad, Nikki’s right! “Call them and let them determine if it has merit or not.”
Brad got up from the table and phoned Alex Bernard. He left a message and fifteen minutes later Bernard called back. They had a brief conversation.
“Frankly,” Brad said when he returned to the table, “he didn’t seem all that interested, but said he’d check into it.”
Nicole was incensed. “That’s it?”
“That was it.”
The kids left around nine and Brad watched a movie before bed. He went to sleep thinking of Julie and some highlights from their togetherness. Then, he dreamt again about sex with Nicole.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Two months later Brad received a call from Detective Bernard that his tip regarding Carter had given the case new life, and that he was close to making an arrest. Brad found it hard to believe that someone would kill a real estate agent over what price she placed on a neighboring property listed for sale. But then again it was a crazy world. He was angry with this man, whoever he was. He nonetheless struggled to wrap his head around the idea that Carter was responsible for the death of his fiancé.
A month after his call from Bernard, Brad heard a news report that police and the Commonwealth Attorney had arrested Thaddeus Raymond Carter and charged him with the first-degree murder of April Bennett. The Wallace’s were relieved that her killer had finally been apprehended. The case went to trial and he and Nicole were called as witnesses. The defense attorney managed to draw things out over several months, but in the end, Carter was found guilty and given the death penalty. When it was all over, Brad noticed that Nicole spoke of April with an overstated sentimentality. Whenever she lamented April not being there on a particular occasion, or reminisced about her, it made Brad uneasy, though he couldn’t say why.
Jared continued to make out of town trips, staying away as much as a week at a time. Nicole still stayed with Brad when Jared was away. It wasn’t long after the murder trial had ended that Nicole paid him one of her late-night visits. She was dressed as before in her skimpy sleeping attire, making excuses that she needed fatherly advice. Once again, she sat on his bed, asked him for guidance, hugged and kissed him in gratitude and left him with an erection. He lay there, thinking about all that had happened, about April. He was both weary and exhilarated. He gave himself over to life at that moment and resolved to just let the current take him. He could not change what he had done to Nicole, he could not bring April back, and he could not control his desire for his daughter-in-law. These were the facts and he would simply accept it and move on. No more fighting whatever was happening to him. As he took in the lingering scent of Nicole’s body lotion, a sweet vanilla that reminded him of a strip club he attended once at a bachelor party, he found a cocoon-like sense of comfort. Down the candy-scented rabbit hole he went, willingly, to whatever was at the bottom.
One evening, after indulging in Nicole’
s usual mouthwatering fare, Brad had a few too many bourbons. He turned to her as they sat on the sofa and watched a movie.
“You know, if I was Jared’s age he would never have landed you.”
She turned to him with a slight smile as if she expected the question all along. “What do you mean?”
“I mean because I would have taken you away from him.”
“Are you saying you find me attractive?”
“I think you are the most ravishing creature I’ve ever seen.”
She looked into his eyes for several seconds, saying nothing. Then, with a look of complacency, she simply leaned back on the couch and resumed watching the movie.
Now he felt awkward, exposed. Had he said too much? Would she tell Jared? He couldn’t read her at all as she sat there, chewing on the ice from her glass of soda, staring at the television screen. I don’t fuckin’ care what she does.
When the movie was over, they said goodnight and she headed off to her room. Brad did not go to his room but instead lingered on the couch in silence for a few minutes, thinking. He got up, weaving a little from his alcohol stupor, put his glass in the sink and went downstairs.
When he reached the lower level he heard music coming from her room. Her door was open and he peeked in. She was standing next to the bed, naked, looking into the mirror over the bureau, stroking her stomach and admiring herself. It was if he were standing on that pine deck in the moonlight again, taking her in, marveling at her physical perfection. Every inch of her was symmetrical perfection, as if some ancient sculptor had formed her. He wanted to rush in and take her, pin her to the bed, taste and own all of her. His body shivered and in fear that he was about to pass out he tiptoed hurriedly to the stairs. Back in his room, aching, he relieved himself and fell asleep.
Another summer was coming to an end and Nicole was at Brad’s place daily now. In the mornings, as soon as Jared had left, she would drive over to Brad’s and fix him breakfast. Jared was fully aware of this: actually, he encouraged it. He was worried over his father’s mental state after losing April and thought that the less Brad was alone, the better. He was happy to have his wife looking after Dad.
On the morning of the third of September, as he did on this date every year, Brad did not get up to go to work. Jared was leaving on a trip that morning and Nicole was coming over. He had been to Kelsey’s the night before and drunk several beers with Johnny—so many, in fact, that Kelsey had put him in a cab. He lay in his bed, eyes closed in semi-sleep, thinking of his late wife, wondering what life would be like if she were still with him. As usual, when he thought of sex with Julie, it always morphed into sex with Nicole. He lay on his back and drifted off once more, dreaming about his daughter-in-law.
She was there, on top of him, praising him, her belly undulating over him as she rode him to climax. She bent to kiss him with her full, wet lips. He tasted her, heard her moans, his groin welling up as he resisted the explosive ecstasy on the horizon. He moaned, she echoed him, and he awakened…Jesus! She was there, in her tanned, pink-nippled perfection, on top of him. Her movements were rhythmic and seductive as she slid up and down on his cock. He was going out of his mind as he gratefully gripped her breasts, pulled her down toward him, and sucked each nipple as if it contained nectar. His lower body was in a frenzy and he nearly threw her off of him. He gripped her hips and slammed her down on himself with one violent thrust. The powerful rush and release made him fear he was dying. No matter. He was willing to accept whatever was on the other side of this wet, wondrous grand finale.
When it was over, he lay there in the damp sheets and she slid off him and nestled herself next to him, burying her face in his chest. She trembled a bit and he listened as her breathing returned to normal. They were both silent. He collected his thoughts as blood reentered his brain. He wavered between rolling over on top of her and fucking her again—he hadn’t been capable of that in years, but it was damn possible now—and talking to her about what had just occurred. As if she read his mind, she spoke up first.
“I came by to start making breakfast but you weren’t up so I came to your room and…you were lying there like you were…and I, I….” She began to cry softly and struggled to finish. “You were whispering my name and I knew you were dreaming about me. Something came over me and before I knew it I was, well, you know the rest. Oh my God, what have I done?”
He had no answer at the moment and blinked his eyes several times to make sure he was actually awake. He turned over on his side to look at her. Her impenetrable eyes seduced him from under long lashes. He took her chin and kissed her gently and she responded, the tip of her tongue probing his mouth. He took her again, more slowly this time, savoring every moment, taking time to memorize every inch of her up close. He surveyed and tasted every piece of her. That body that had been a distant oasis in the desert was finally slaking his thirst, and he could not get enough. She put up no resistance; it was as if she knew his fantasies and did exactly as he fancied. Her eyes closed, her arms fell to her sides and she let him…oh, she let him. When she cried out, he tried to repeat whatever he had done. Her cries of passion were a siren song and he was devouring her lotus blossom and riding a fleshy wave of euphoria.
Somewhere outside the window a car horn sounded. They were in each other’s arms, uttering no words but only an occasional sigh of satisfaction. All at once she leaped from the bed, grabbed her clothes and walked out of the room.
“Nicole?” he called out. No reply.
A short while later he could hear her in the kitchen. He showered and dressed, slapping on some aftershave he hadn’t worn in a while. When he walked in the kitchen she was making scrambled eggs.
“Coffee’s ready. Get it yourself.”
He opened his mouth to speak but she raised a finger and cut him off. “Don’t say anything until you know what you want to say.”
He did as she requested and sat at the kitchen table. She finished the eggs, put them on a plate and sat them in the middle of the table, never making eye contact. She put a plate of buttered toast on the table, poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down adjacent to him. Finally, she looked at him.
“Please eat. I’m too nervous to eat right now.”
Once again he did as she requested. His mind raced for what to say. He ate without saying a word. So many feelings at once: guilt, shame, gratitude, lust, relief—not to mention fear. Where did he start?
“I guess there is nothing for me to do but leave town and disappear,” she opened up.
“No!” Brad slammed his fist on the table, then caught himself. “I mean, no, you can’t leave me.”
“Oh Brad, I didn’t want this to happen, but something, something about you, I don’t know. I’ve known you’ve wanted me for a long time. You’re Jared’s father, and I knew it was wrong, but, that’s also it. You’re Jared’s father! You are an older version of him: so much wiser, so much more, I don’t know, mature? I began to find a comfort I hadn’t felt in a long time. I wanted to return that feeling and this morning, well….”
He reached across the table and took her hand. “No, my dear Nicole. You are absolutely right. Oh, if you only knew. I went for April to try and rid you from my mind, but even if she hadn’t been killed I don’t think it would have worked.”
“We can never tell Jared,” she said and started to sob.
“This would tear my son apart. He would hate us both forever—you’d lose a husband and I would lose my only son.”
She began to cry uncontrollably. “Are you crying because of the terrible act we’ve committed?” he asked.
“Of course! I shouldn’t feel this way about my husband’s father! To make things worse, Jared won’t touch me anymore.”
“Why, for God’s sake?” he asked. “You’re the most beautiful woman in the world. He should be thankful to have you in his bed!”
“He wants children, remember? I
haven’t told him about the rape, or my hysterectomy. He even went to get his sperm count checked. I obliged him and pretended to see a specialist. I told him that I had checked out fine. He was making love to me every day at one point. Of course I have never conceived, and he has simply given up, totally. He isn’t interested in me anymore.”
She began crying again. Brad felt rotten. I’m the fuckin’ cause of all of it. He looked at her as she wiped her eyes. She was beautiful even when her face was a puffy red mess. He had to save her, somehow. His mind searched for what was right, what was logical. It would all be ok. In the meantime, Jared wasn’t due home for several days. Brad felt like he was ten years old and had just won a lifetime pass to his favorite amusement park.
* * *
A couple of weeks later, Jared called on a Saturday. Since his son had returned, Brad had seen nothing of Nicole, and he was becoming paranoid of what might be happening.
“Hi, Dad. Are we having dinner at your place tomorrow evening?”
“Fine with me, son. Say, Nicole hasn’t been over for breakfast lately. She okay?”
“Oh, she’s fine. She said she thought she had a touch of the flu or something. Didn’t want to give it to you.”
“Okay well, tell her I miss her and I’ll see you both tomorrow. Goodbye, Jared.”
He hung up and exhaled in relief. Jared’s tone sounded normal. She was keeping their secret. He spent the rest of the weekend anticipating the sight of her. On Sunday afternoon, the couple walked in. Nicole carried a foil-covered baking dish under her gravity-defying breasts. Brad could smell the stuffed peppers. Hell, he wanted to be the stuffed peppers.
After dinner and some television, Jared yawned. “I guess we should head home. I have an early day tomorrow.”