Paul’s gaze passed through the room, sliding right past Damon as though his presence seemed as ordinary as a lamp or a boring painting that didn’t warrant any extra consideration, and settled on Alex. Paul smiled and headed in that direction. Two pearly white front teeth didn’t match the yellowish tint of their neighbors. The smile, far from looking forced, appeared sincere and jovial.
Damon hadn’t expected this reaction. He presumed that Paul would glare at him while acting as if his appearance coincided with a repugnant aroma. He had no idea what the bastard had planned, but he didn’t like this bizarre yet credible acting performance. He didn’t trust or respect a man who didn’t confront issues head on and either ignored them or pretended they didn’t exist.
“You must be Paul,” said Alex.
“Hey, how’s it going?”
Although he wanted to sneak in another glance at Kelsey, Damon had an overwhelming urge to reveal Paul as a fraud. He considered that his challenge, his duty this afternoon. He wanted to make sure that Kelsey knew what staying with Paul meant.
“Now I see where Kelsey gets her beauty,” Paul said, shaking hands with Loretta, who pulled him in for a hug. For a brief moment, he looked repulsed by the intimate nature of this response. Then a fake smile replaced his distaste.
“We’re a family of huggers,” Loretta said, grinning. She turned her gaze on Damon. Her smile faded.
Damon looked away in time to watch Kelsey take a seat opposite him, while Marisa sat to her left, no doubt leaving the seat to her right for Paul. Cassandra made her way toward him, and Damon pulled out the seat for her.
“Thank you,” she said, taking a seat.
Glenn stepped away from the table and held out a hand to Paul. He took in the younger man’s attire and flinched as though the clothing hurt his eyes. “Hi, I’m Glenn.”
Paul shook his hand and said, “Hey, how’s it going?”
Glenn blinked as though Paul had insulted him and shook his head, mystified. Then he went back to carving the turkey.
If Damon had received that cold, vacant stare, he would have interpreted it as being unworthy of Kelsey’s affections. That made him smile. Then again, if Damon had arrived as Kelsey’s date, would her father have also greeted him with indifference? Since he couldn’t guarantee a more positive outcome, Damon kept his mouth shut. Still, he found it strange that Paul didn’t care how Glenn perceived him.
Marisa and Kelsey sat down, so Paul followed suit.
Glenn finished carving the turkey and smiled at his wife. “You’ve outdone yourself, honey. I can’t wait to dig in.”
Paul cleared his throat. “May I say grace?”
Damon blanched at the suggestion. He’d always wanted to believe in God. Growing up, he’d even prayed a few times a week over the course of two years, but with everything he’d suffered, he’d come to realize that if God existed, the Lord wouldn’t have allowed him to endure so much ugliness without balancing out at least a little of that darkness with joy.
“How thoughtful,” Loretta said, folding her hands and closing her eyes.
Glenn sighed, put off by the request, but he put his palms together.
“Dear Lord,” Paul said. He closed his eyes and steepled his hands. “Thank You for allowing this group to come together today and feel the light of Your love.”
Damon looked around the table to find every single person with bowed heads and closed eyes until he locked eyes with Glenn, who looked up and stared right at him. A glimmer of a smile appeared and Glenn rolled his eyes, exasperated.
Damon realized that Glenn found Paul aggravating and took pleasure in knowing that Damon felt likewise. How he knew that, however, Damon couldn’t quite figure out.
“We thank You for our health and the food You’ve blessed us with on this day. And we wish those same good graces for those less fortunate: the starving children in Africa, the warring political factions in the Middle East…”
Startled by Paul’s obvious pandering to gain good favor with those around the table, Damon looked at him and whispered the word, “Really?” Sensing eyes on him, he turned to see Kelsey glaring at him. Admonished for his cynical nature, he held eye contact with her, trying to determine if she judged him or if she only reacted out of consideration for Paul’s beliefs. The longer he probed, the less severe her expression became, and he got the impression that Kelsey, like her father, didn’t think Paul had earned the respect of those around the table to speak for the group in this manner.
“…and closer to home, where children often don’t get the love and support needed to make a vital contribution to their fellow humans.”
While Damon would never frown upon the importance of Paul’s suggestion, since he’d lived through that upbringing, he couldn’t help but smile at the condescension in his adversary’s voice. Until now, Damon had disliked Paul…a lot. But after hearing Paul’s patronizing tone, he hated him. That’s when he felt the heat of Kelsey’s gaze.
She didn’t match his smile, but she elicited sympathy, revealing that she’d done some research and learned about his childhood and teenage years from his website.
Embarrassed, Damon looked down. And while he wanted to meet her eyes, he felt stripped bare. The remnants of the scared and unloved child he’d once been threatened to bust loose from that hidden reservoir deep in his heart, making moisture glisten in his eyes. But the last time he’d shared those details with someone, she’d left him. And although he felt Kelsey offered more empathy in that one look than Katrina had in their entire nine-month relationship, he couldn’t meet her gaze.
But he would not allow himself to become vulnerable with someone who had rejected him. So, while Paul continued on with false sentiments, rather than giving in to the compassion Kelsey offered, Damon crushed the weakness that came over him by clenching his eyes shut and gnashing his teeth, while doing his best to ensure that anyone who looked his way wouldn’t detect a soul charred by a lifetime of disappointment and loneliness.
“Amen.”
Damon opened his eyes and risked a glance at Kelsey to find her handing a bowl of potatoes to Marisa. Just as he felt Cassandra drop a hand on his right wrist, revealing that she’d also noticed his momentary internal struggle, he looked over to find Glenn considering him with earnestness.
It seemed that Damon hadn’t locked down his emotions as well as he had thought. What had he revealed? What were they thinking? For a few seconds, he found himself fluttering for answers, worried that they might have seen beyond the confident exterior that came so naturally to him. Nevertheless, Glenn’s sincere look of empathy, which Damon had always hoped to receive from a father figure, lacerated his heart.
Damon stood up, pushing his chair back. He couldn’t look at anyone because if he did, he knew that he would lose it. All of the pain, all of the fear, all of the uncertainty would come crashing down on him, and he would turn into that helpless six year-old he’d locked into the darkest regions of his mind. “Excuse me,” he mumbled. Damon stepped away from the table, heading for the front door with long strides until he reached it, turned the knob, and pulled it open.
He stepped into the forty-degree weather and, now away from the prying eyes of those who couldn’t know all of the abuse and neglect he’d survived, and closed the door behind him. He took in a heavy breath and let it out, trying to eradicate all of the sorrow that had overwhelmed him.
Behind him, the door opened. Whoever appeared in the doorway walked out onto the porch with him and closed the door.
Damon felt a soft palm drop onto his right shoulder. He didn’t need to guess who had touched him. Knowing that Kelsey had sympathized with him and cared enough to follow despite leaving the man she’d brought here, Damon spun around and took her into his arms, embracing her with a tight grip because he didn’t want her to get away. He plunged his face into those thick blond curls that smelled of lilacs, wanting to stand there forever. That closeness, that depth of feeling made him want to tell her everything about him in o
ne long rush of sentences that didn’t end until his voice grew raw and strained. But he didn’t open his mouth and neither did she. They just held each other.
When his jagged breaths finally subsided, Kelsey pulled away and placed both hands on his shoulders, looking into his eyes with great kindness. “Better now?”
He wanted to thank her, wanted to tell her how much he cared, wanted to reveal the truth about Paul, but those caramel-colored eyes trapped him in silence. He just stared at her, feeling a rush of trust and comfort and…relief. He nodded at her, and when she turned to leave, he reached out and took her hand. Using the slightest bit of pressure, he pulled her towards him.
Kelsey spun around and rushed into his arms. Breathless, she looked into his eyes then lowered her gaze to his lips before looking back up at him again.
Seeing the unexpected, intense need in her eyes, Damon pulled her close and kissed her. He parted her lips, melting into her with a controlling hunger he’d never before experienced. He felt the soul connection that had always eluded him: the kind that consumed his thoughts and desires, the kind that made him lose track of place and time, the kind that made it seem that no one else existed in this world.
Then in one quick motion, Kelsey pulled away and backed toward the house with shuttered eyes. Her back hit the front door, startling her. She whipped around, opened the door, and jumped inside without even looking back.
Damon stared at the front door with only one thought in his mind: what had just happened?
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Kelsey entered the house, and even though the temperature inside had almost doubled that of the chilly air outside, she felt cooler than she’d expected. Of course, it had nothing to do with the actual surface heat inside the house, but the chemical fireworks she’d just shared with Damon. Since everyone at the dining room table remained silent, which explained why each person now gave her their undivided attention, she couldn’t linger at the door contemplating the meaning behind that kiss with Damon.
The moment he’d excused himself from the table, Cassandra rose from her seat, but Kelsey did likewise, and said, “I’ll be right back” before going out to see him. She knew everyone at the table would find that odd – a woman with a date refusing to allow Damon’s girlfriend to tend to him, while she did just that. Kelsey presumed they had many questions, but she had no intention of explaining what had happened on the porch.
Therefore, she turned away from the door and approached them with a blank expression. She directed her attention to her plate, purposely avoiding Paul, who stared at her with such intensity that she felt her cheeks growing warm. Or were they flushed because kissing Damon had felt so sexy and yes, even romantic? Her skin tingled and she felt lightheaded, which answered her own question. Did everyone else guess as much? She pushed that thought out of her head. Otherwise, her cheeks would turn bright red. She’d never before experienced such a rush of disparate emotions while lost in someone’s embrace: guilt, lust, shame, bliss, torture.
Those conflicting feelings made it obvious that she shouldn’t have given in to a fleeting impulse. Damon’s talent in writing sensuous romance, along with exhibiting that tortured expression at the table, made her momentarily lose hold of her better judgment. But that didn’t make it right. After all, kissing Damon shouldn’t have made her feel wonderful on a physical level but anxious on an emotional plane. The inner conflict indicated she’d made a mistake. If it felt right on both levels, she wouldn’t have to second-guess herself. She found Damon attractive and had given in to temptation. But she’d discovered her mistake and put an end to it. She didn’t need to give it any more thought than that.
She reached her chair and took a seat. “He’s okay.”
Her mother opened her mouth to speak, but the front door opened, revealing Damon as he walked into the house, preventing her from voicing her concerns. He walked toward the table, no longer maintaining that tormented expression. Now, he looked justified, as though he’d discovered the solution to an algebraic equation that others refuted.
“I apologize,” he said before taking a seat. “I just needed some air.”
No one said a word.
Then her father clicked the remote, and the Bears game appeared on screen. “Ten minutes remain in the fourth quarter,” the announcer said, “and we’ve sure got a nail biter on this Thanksgiving Day. The Lions have clawed back with six unanswered points, and we now have a tie ball game.”
“Great!” her father said with an explosion of anger. “I bet Briggs is trotting around looking for something to do, and the offense has been feeding the ball to ‘Wrong-way’ Forte.”
Alex said, “This morning, me and Marisa finalized plans to visit Wisconsin Dells next weekend.”
“A quick weekend getaway?” asked Kelsey’s mother. “What a wonderful idea.”
“Sounds cool,” Damon said with an upbeat tone. “Don’t they have indoor waterparks there?”
“The largest in the country,” said Marisa, scooping some turkey stuffing onto her plate. “We rented a rustic-looking two-story cabin. We’re going with two other couples. Well,” she said, looking at Alex, “we hope they’re going. My friend, Lauren and her husband were supposed to go, but she just texted me this morning and said Denny seems to have just come down with the flu. He gets one every year, but he suffers from Auto-Immune Deficiency, so I kind of figured something to come up. And then an old college friend and her longtime boyfriend were supposed to go up with us – she’s the one who came up with the idea – but she’s a few months pregnant and she’s been really cautious. Anyway, she thinks she might be suffering complications, so she’ll probably visit an OB/GYN tomorrow and hit me up with the scoop. I hope it’s just her imagination. But I guess we’ll see.”
“The weekend rental was so expensive,” Alex said, “that we’d kick ourselves if we didn’t go ahead and book a room with them.” He dug into a mound of mashed potatoes topped with gravy.
Kelsey had great memories of visiting Wisconsin Dells as a child, and she couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. “You’re so lucky. But I’d probably measure it against all the fun we had when Mom and Dad took us.”
“You’ll never know unless you give it a try,” Marisa said. “If Lauren and Denny can’t make it, you’re more than welcome to come.”
Kelsey, whose glowing cheeks had just begun receding, once more brightened.
Alex nodded. “That would be a great fall-back plan.”
“Yeah,” Paul said in an excited voice. “I’d like to check it out. I bet it’s a lot of fun.”
He probably considered it a good idea because it would afford them plenty of time to get to know each other. But Kelsey wasn’t quite ready to share a hotel room with him. He’d been a complete gentleman each time they saw each other. And he wanted to impress her parents, which showed he cared about her. Besides, it would give her a chance to see him in ways she hadn’t before – and she didn’t mean nude. She just meant that spending that much solitary time with him would give her a better impression of his character and integrity.
She’d thought about what it might be like to kiss Paul in a romantic (or better yet: hot and heavy) way, but each time she imagined it, something felt…off. In each scenario, she didn’t sense a strong magnetic pull towards him, which partially explained why she hadn’t already gravitated to that course of action. But if they went to the Dells, and if that sensation bubbled up between them, she didn’t want to act on it. Many women often slept with guys on the third date, which she had to admit to doing once (okay, twice) – and the “relationship” had sputtered out the next morning in both cases when the men crept out of her condo at dawn, which explained why she had no interest in rushing into a sexual situation. But so far, she hadn’t even shared a platonic kiss with Paul.
They’d had three dates with little, if any, sexual chemistry. There had to be a reason that they couldn’t get that spark going. She wished Paul gave her the same butterflies that Damon did. Given that
situation, she might just reconsider the idea of a sexual…
“Well,” Marisa said to Kelsey, “if our original plans fall through, you have to come with us. No overthinking. Just come. You need a getaway.”
Alex turned to Damon. “Same goes for you and Cassandra.” He caught sight of Cassandra, who smiled at him, and he lowered his gaze to the table.
Damon arched an eyebrow at Marisa to see if she approved of Alex’s suggestion, considering that Cassandra once had locked lips with Alex before becoming exclusive with Marisa.
But she actually brightened at the idea, her eyes growing wide with excitement. Apparently, she trusted Alex wholeheartedly, which shouldn’t have surprised her considering that Alex had broken things off with Cassandra before they really started…all because he was in love with Marisa.
Paul dabbed his lips with a napkin. “That was about the best Thanksgiving meal I’ve ever had.” He glanced at the empty plates on the table then placed the napkin on the table and picked up his plate and utensils. He turned to Loretta with a whimsical smile. “I’m sure you have plenty to clean up in the kitchen, and I’d be honored to help out.”
Her mother turned her grin from Kelsey to Paul, looking charmed. “How could I resist?” She stood up, pushed her chair backwards, and grabbed her plate, cup, and utensils. “Feel free to join me in the kitchen.” She headed in that direction.
Kelsey knew that Paul was using this moment to get on her mother’s good side, but it seemed too obvious and…self-serving. Of course, if he wanted to build a good relationship with her family, it made sense that he began with the heart of the family. Still, the way he offered to help felt too cordial and dare she say…fake? It turned her off.
“Loretta, you spent all day in the kitchen,” said her father. “Get back in here. I’ll take care of the dishes later. Besides, I’ve got better plans for Paul.” A dubious grin gleamed in his eyes.
One Last Promise (A Bedford Falls Novel Book 2) Page 11