I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant and I had no plans to be pregnant ever again. I’m not married. I’ve only known Peter for four weeks. My mom is going to kill me when she finds out I slept with him so quickly. Imagine what Facebook will say. I am a pregnant widow and mother of three. My title is growing and so will my stomach shortly. Henry will probably be thrilled. Gracie will think it’s cool too, but Hayes is going to die. He can barely handle that I am dating and now I’m going to be pregnant. He’ll probably ban me from going out in public.
But what will a baby really mean to us? Will Peter and I get married? It seems way too soon for that. I loved when my kids were babies. It seems like it was so long ago but yesterday at the same time. Henry was so fat. His arms looked like sausages. I loved cleaning those little rolls and watching him chase after Gracie and Hayes. Gracie’s eyes were so vivacious from the second she was born. She told me stories with her expressions. She was always so tiny. Her feet were so small, we had a hard time finding first walker shoes in a small enough size. And Hayes, it was hard to remember what he was like when he was little. He lit up my world. Everything I thought I believed about being a parent went out the window. I never ever wanted to put him down. Hank and I were determined not to let him cry even if the cry-it-out people were in our face.
I love babies. I know I will love a baby I created with Peter. It’s just so sudden. What will everyone think?
As Heather wrote the last line, she realized that was the problem. She always worried about what everyone else thought. She knew she needed to break out of that mold and not care. Her life had turned upside down and all around since 10:47 on that awful morning when Hank died. It was turning upside down again but maybe upside down in a good way. Heather got out the kids’ baby books and lost herself in a pile of memories.
Chapter 28
Peter drove to Heather’s straight from the airport. He was exhausted after his red-eye flight but wanted to see her. He arrived carrying a humungous bouquet of flowers. Heather was still in the middle of the getting-ready-for-school routine when Peter walked in. The kids were surprised but happy to see him. He had gifts for each one of them, so of course they were happy. Heather and Peter sent them all off, and she had a quick glimpse at what it would be like to have someone at her side again. Peter kissed Heather. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her until they both needed to take a breath. Then he placed his hand on her stomach and smiled.
“I didn’t think I’d ever get the chance to be a dad.”
“You? You could have been a father 50 times over. There are plenty of women who would want to be in my shoes.”
“And you don’t?”
“I would never ever dream of getting rid of this baby. It just really took me by surprise. I’ve only known you for 31 days.”
“We’ve gone further in this relationship in 31 days than some people can in years. I want to raise this baby with you.”
“So you’re ready to move in here and be a dad to not only one but four kids? Because that’s what will happen.”
“Heather, I love you. Let’s not worry about the details this morning.”
Heather knew she hadn’t returned Peter’s “I love you” yet. She would. She just needed everything to feel a little more settled in her head. Peter dozed on Heather’s couch, and Heather plugged dates into a due date calendar online. She couldn’t help but think about all of the practical things like where the nursery would be. The guest room would be fine. It would be a tight fit with 6 of them in the house. Peter would need an office. They could share Heather’s, but that might get a little tough. Heather was getting ahead of herself.
Peter woke up and rubbed Heather’s stomach.
“I suppose I can’t get a tattoo before I turn 40 anymore.”
“We’ll go as soon as the baby is born. This is one tough I-want-to-be-born baby to fight through all that latex.”
“Guess it would do anything to meet one of my eggs. I seriously thought I was going to pass out when I found out. It was the last thing I ever expected to hear. I made Jenny take me out for a Big Mac.”
“You’re a fegan! I can’t believe you went to McDonald’s! Do the kids know?”
“No, I got rid of all the evidence. And don’t tell them.”
“So much for prenatal nutrition!”
“I had a green smoothie today, and I have one everyday.”
Peter hugged her and started kissing her neck. “I’m just kidding, you know.”
Heather knew, and she also knew they didn’t need to worry about condoms anymore. And that was a pleasant surprise for both of them that morning.
The next morning, Heather and Peter were going to meet at his loft to talk to Richard about his thoughts on Heather’s book. They were set to call him as soon as Heather arrived after getting the kids on the bus. She showered before the kids got up and made herself look mostly presentable. Even though Richard wasn’t going to see her, she felt like she should still dress the part. Heather drove downtown. She knew Peter’s door code now and could let herself up. Aiden opened the door when Heather arrived and told her Peter was in his study. Heather could hear he was on the phone, so she hung out outside the door so she didn’t interrupt him. She probably should have interrupted him because what she heard changed everything.
“Janie, I just don’t think I can do it. I really don’t think it will work.”
Heather knew it was about her and didn’t wait to hear anything else. She turned around and left without saying anything to Aiden. She got in her car; her ankle was aching because she was moving so quickly. She started driving without a destination in mind; she just wanted to keep moving far away from Peter. It was clear to her all the words he had fed her were false. He may love her, but he didn’t want this baby. Tears were streaming down Heather’s face. It was getting harder to drive. She knew she had to go somewhere safe. Somewhere Peter wouldn’t look for her right away. Her phone was already ringing. She checked at the stoplight and saw it was Peter. Aiden must have told him she took off. He must have called a dozen times. Heather didn’t want to call Jenny. Peter would call her, and they would track her down in a heartbeat. She pulled over, called her mom, and asked her if she could get the kids off the bus for her. Heather made up a little lie and said Lauren needed her help. She said she would be back later this evening. Her mom offered to stay with the kids so Heather wouldn’t have to drive during rush hour. It was settled easily. Heather could now disappear, and no one would find her. The last thing she asked her mom was to please not tell anyone where she was.
“I just need a little space, Mom.” Contradicting her earlier lie.
“No problem.” Heather knew her mom would feel like she was ‘in the know’ and would keep her secret. She also knew the questions would be plenty later, but she just needed space now.
Ninety minutes and a thousand tears later, Heather was at Lauren’s front door. Lauren and Heather had known each other since they’d been 4 and 6, respectively. Lauren knew as soon as she opened the door something was wrong. Besides the mere fact Heather had driven 100 miles without calling, Lauren could see utter devastation in Heather’s face. They hugged. Heather started crying again. They sat at the kitchen table, and Lauren made some tea. Heather started from the beginning. The beginning being the second she walked into the doctor’s office. Lauren listened and held all of her emotions close to her.
“Two things Heather. Do you love him? And - you don’t really know what he was talking about, do you?”
“Yes, I think I do love him. I feel incredibly guilty saying that. Especially to you, but this guy gives me butterflies, makes me feel safe, and makes my legs turn to jell-o when he walks into a room. I love his smell. I love the tingle I get whenever he touches me. I love that he wants to be with my kids. I love that he has seen me in all my ridiculousness and still asked me out.”
“So, we’ve settled the love question. Now, do you honestly know what he was talking about?”
“He was talking
to his sister. He was telling her he couldn’t do it and he just didn’t think it would work. What else could he have been talking about? I could hear in his tone of voice, it was serious. He doesn’t think he can live with me or marry me or something.”
“There’s got to be an explanation. And if he can’t live with you, does he mean in your house, neighborhood or area? It might not mean he can’t live with you and the kids. You really have no idea what he can’t do.”
Heather’s phone was ringing and dinging. Peter and Jenny were texting and calling her.
“You going to answer any of those?”
“Guess I should. It’s kind of annoying.”
2:03 Heather: I’m at Lauren’s. Please don’t tell. Needed some space. Will explain later. Sorry….xo
2:04 Jenny: Peter’s freaking out. I won’t tell him where u r. I’ll just tell him to give u some time. Call me when u feel like talking. Xx
2:05 Heather: Thanks.
2:06 Jenny: That’s what friends r for. I’ll lie for u anytime chica.
Heather knew Jenny would hold Peter off for a while or at least until Heather could figure out what she wanted to do. It felt so good to be sitting with Lauren. Heather was an only child. Lauren was truly her sister. They moved to the couch so Heather could put her foot up. They sat right next to each other like they always used to and talked about kids, life and sex with Peter. Lauren and Heather always shared each other’s secrets. Heather had had the odd privilege of taking Lauren out to buy her first thong and Lauren had helped Heather wipe after she went to the bathroom at her wedding because her gown was too large for her to reach under her skirt on her own. There aren’t many people you share things like that with other than sisters. The last few weeks had been awkward for them, and Heather could totally understand Lauren’s side of all of it. It had always been a little hard to separate their relationship and each of their relationships with Hank. The bottom-line was they were lucky to have each other, and driving up to see Lauren may have been the best thing Heather could have done.
Chapter 29
Peter was out of his mind with worry. As soon as Aiden told him Heather had been there and had taken off, he knew what she had heard. She had heard him telling Janie he couldn’t live in Heather’s neighborhood. He didn’t mean for her to find out that way. He had planned on sitting down and talking to her about a move. He felt suffocated in all of that suburbia, but he knew there would have to be some kind of compromise. But Heather had heard it all before he could explain it.
He went after her but couldn’t find her. He started calling her phone, but she wouldn’t answer. He called Jenny, and Jenny hadn’t heard from her. He drove to her house, but her car wasn’t there. Jenny said she went to visit a friend and would be back tomorrow. Peter was lost. He was desperate to talk to her and let her know what he had meant. He needed to tell her how much he loved her. Loved her? He had only known her for a few weeks, and he fallen into loving her so easily. Her laugh and her smile made his heart melt. The twinkle she got in her eye, her innocence, her ability to laugh at herself and her beauty. He could imagine growing old with Heather. He could imagine having a family with her, which was good since they were about to do that anyway. The only problem was he could not imagine living in her neighborhood. It all felt too close for him. Like people would be constantly breathing down his neck. Janie was right, though. With kids, there was no way to escape unless you were going to homeschool them and live in the middle of nowhere. Even if he moved them all to New York City, he would have similar issues. He knew there were ways he could try to make it a little easier for himself. It was all a part of settling down. He was ready for all of the rest of it, just not the suburban part of it.
Jenny wouldn’t tell him where Heather was. He knew she wasn’t expected home until tomorrow, so she must have her mom at the house babysitting. Peter didn’t think Heather would have told her mom about the baby, but he could be wrong. He also didn’t want to alarm the kids, so he was hesitant to go over there. Heather wasn’t answering her phone or her texts. He knew she had to be looking at her texts though, so he composed another one.
5:00 Peter: You fell into my life. This baby has fought hard to be in our life. I love you. You and I will work. We can figure everything else out.
Peter was a writer, a freaking New York Times best-selling author, and he couldn’t figure out what to say. He couldn’t imagine Heather turning away from him, but maybe this was all too much in a short period of time for her. He had to cover all his bases. He had flowers delivered to the house. He texted Jenny to see if she had heard anything else. Peter wanted to be sure Jenny would convey how frantic he was to Heather if she had the opportunity. Next, Peter called Heather’s house and asked for Heather. Her mom didn’t give away any information but simply said she would pass on the message that he had called. All that was left to do was wait. Wait for her to get back into town so he could make his next move. Until then, he called a realtor and asked to see properties in 23113.
Chapter 30
Heather and Lauren had an awesome evening together. Heather enjoyed her nieces. It was nice to hang out with teenage girls. They sat and giggled and watched The Voice. Heather could not get over how much Adam Levine and Peter looked alike. Peter could definitely pass as his older, slightly more handsome brother. She shared the text from Peter with Lauren.
“Sounds like you’ve worked this guy into a tizzy,” said Lauren.
“I guess.”
“Let’s do your numbers.” Heather was not sure how she had ended up with people like Lauren and Jenny in her life. They were both into horoscopes, numerology, auras and any kind of spiritual reading. Heather was freaked out by all of it. She was good at reading people but couldn’t decide if she really believed in all of this mumbo jumbo. But she humored both of them. Lauren did their numbers. She already knew Heather was a 7, and they figured out from Peter’s birthdate on Wikipedia that he was an 11. Lauren plugged the numbers into her favorite numerology website to see if they were compatible. Lauren read it out loud to Heather.
“7 and 11- In this combination of numbers, intuition meets intelligence, sensitivity meets clinical research, and the heart meets the mind. It would be a challenge to find two more different archetypes than this. Yours is a unique relationship. Rarely do two such different numbers express even the slightest bit of interest in each other. But, when they do, the partnership is worth every effort. Almost certainly, you met under strange circumstances, perhaps a situation where you were both out of your usual environment, and, most likely, they reached out to you. Once these two completely different numbers come close enough, the result is often an exchange of energy that welds the relationship for life. The dangers and pitfalls possible in this combination are generally experienced right at the beginning of the relationship.” [1]
Heather almost fell over when she heard this. Of course they had met under very strange circumstances. Heather had fallen in front of his car. Peter had reached out and helped her. They were finding the dangers and pitfalls early on, and it was clear they had been ‘welded’ for life.
“Holy Cow!” said Lauren. “This is the most accurate thing I have ever read! It’s like they wrote it about you two.”
“It’s spooky,” said Heather. It freaked Heather out that these random numbers could talk about her relationship so accurately. “Yeah, but I heard him say he doesn’t think it could work!”
“I know you did, but it’s not just you involved in this anymore. There is a baby to consider. You are obligated to find out what he meant. You don’t have to like it. Who knows? He could end up breaking your heart, but I don’t feel like that’s going to happen. You know how reticent I was about all of this in the beginning, and now I feel like it might be a good thing. When you talk about him, you light up. I haven’t seen that happen in the last 18 months. And to be honest, maybe even longer than that.”
Lauren knew Heather so well. Heather decided to sleep on the whole thing. She needed a good
night’s sleep to see how she felt in the morning.
Heather got up early and kissed everyone good-bye. Lauren tried to convince her to go out for a cup of coffee, but Heather felt ready to face the music or at least see her kids. She called everyone on the way home to tell them to have a good day at school. She would make it back to see the little guys off to elementary school but would miss Hayes. He was fine with it as soon as he knew she was ok. Hayes was a quiet worrier. Heather was worried about facing her mom. She wasn’t ready to tell her all that was going on yet because she needed to figure it out before her mom gave her own opinion. Calling Jenny wouldn’t be quite as quick. Fortunately, Heather knew Jenny would be engrossed in her morning routine and wouldn’t have time to talk right now, so she gave her a quick call and just told her she was on her way home and would call her when she was back. Heather needed the quiet of the drive before she stepped into her life again. She was not living the happily ever after she had envisioned. Her HEA didn’t include dead husbands and unwed mothers.
Gracie and Henry were walking out to the bus stop when she pulled in. They ran over to the car and gave her a big hug before they hopped on the bus. Heather walked inside with her mom.
“Were they all ok?”
“Hayes was a little bent out of shape you weren’t here, but they were fine. Everything ok with you?”
“I really don’t want to talk about it right now, Mom. I just got caught up in how fast everything is moving, and I needed some time to process it all. And I missed Lauren. She was having a really hard time with the whole Peter thing. It was good to talk to her and to see the girls.”
“Peter called here. You obviously didn’t tell him you were leaving, did you?” The flowers in the center of the table were so large. It was clear they were an apology for something. Diane had already peeked at the card to see they were from Peter.
Tripped Up Love Page 16