"Yes, right now. And no, there's nothing more important in my life than you."
Her heart jumped at his words. But then she got afraid of her own courage. "I thought maybe we could go tomorrow."
He gave her a stern but loving look, "Better to do it right away. Or you might change your mind. Once you’ve decided to do something scary, you must get it over with as fast as possible. Kind of like ripping a Band-Aid off. Sometimes it’s just better to get it over quick.“
„If you think so..“ Why did she feel like she had to mount the scaffold?
“I know what I’m talking about. And I'll be with you all along, so there's no reason to be afraid.”
She sighed. She knew she'd bail out the second he'd let go of her. Run and hide. For the rest of her life if it was necessary.
He seemed to read her mind because his next words were, "Let's get dressed and then I accompany you to your place to get your skiing gear."
She murmured a feeble, "Okay.” Even though I am so far from alright as one can get!
Here insides were starting to freeze over. That hidden fear and guilt monster raised its ugly head and spread out into every cell in her body. She wouldn’t be surprised, if she’d turn into stone right here and now.
“That didn't sound very excited," Evan told her.
"I'm not."
He placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "I'll be with you all the time."
He was so sweet. She couldn't believe it. All the news about him, and never once had the press mentioned or shown his sweet and romantic side. All they ever wrote about was how daring, successful, and courageous he was. A risk taker, a womanizer.
***
Evan got dressed, and then he escorted Charlene back to her own apartment and patiently waited while she gathered her skiing gear. All the way up the mountain, he held her hand. Partly because he loved to touch her, but mostly because he was afraid, she'd bail out the moment he let go of her.
He could sense her fear, and the huge amount of willpower it cost her to keep going. It was a palpable thing that rolled off her in large waves. The closer they got to the crossing for the Devil's Nose, the quieter and more self-absorbed she became. Can you blame her? She’s probably reliving both her meltdown from yesterday, and that horrible scene from two years ago.
Her agony pierced his heart. A part of him wanted to turn around to spare her the pain, but he knew she needed to do this. Evan had never been afraid of fear. Fear was something to jump on and get past. Something that sent adrenaline soaring through his veins, making him feel alive. I should feel honored that she came to me of all persons to ask for help.
They got off the chair lift at the top of the mountain and took the smaller, trail-like slope down to the final point of no return. When they stood at the crossing to the Devil’s Nose, the same place where she had panicked before, he was afraid she'd do it again.
Her face was pale, her look muddleheaded and he could smell her fear. Not simple fear, but a deep, gut-wrenching agony. Suddenly, this didn't seem like such a good idea anymore.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he inquired.
She nodded her head before stepping closer to him, “Can you hold me for a few minutes? Until I calm down?”
He nodded his head, and then reached for her. Took her into his arms, silently waiting until her shallow breaths became deeper and steadier. He wanted nothing more than to spare her the pain she was experiencing, but she had to do this if she ever wanted to be free again from the horrid emotion that had been overshadowing her life.
He knew from personal experience. He’d done it a million and one times. Overcoming fear was a relief. It meant freedom.
"Remember, you are Wonder Woman, and you can do anything you want!"
She gave him a very small smile, but at least it was a smile. He felt her relax a tiny bit into his arms. After several more minutes had passed with her lying in his arms, she stirred and met his eyes. "Thank you for being with me."
“I will always be here should you need me. You can trust that.”
***
Charlene was paralyzed by fear. Why on earth did I think this stupid idea to come here was a good idea? It wasn’t. It was a really bad idea. Bad. Bad. Bad. She’d run, if she could, but her legs wouldn’t obey her orders. Instead, she was barely keeping upright on the top of the Devil’s Nose, doing her best not to hyperventilate. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe In. Breathe Out.
Finally the panic subsided. Evan held her in his arms and she borrowed his strength. He appeared to have enough for both of them, which was great because she didn’t know if she had anything left. I wouldn't be able to do this without him.
She gathered all her courage and then pushed out of his arms. Taking a last cleansing breath, she held it for a moment and then released it. "Okay let's go."
He let go of her hand and instantly a cold wave of insecurity swept over her. The impact took her breath away and she almost stumbled. That’s what drowning must feel like! Now that she wasn't in his arms anymore, all the courage she’d felt a moment earlier started to fade away. But before she could revise her decision, she slid down the slope.
About 50 yards downhill started the steepest part with nearly 40-degrees, where Devil’s Nose cut a steep white scar between towering cliff faces. The slope fell down almost vertical and steadily narrowed to a constriction with a huge rock in the middle.
Just to enter the run, she had to drop off a cornice and then back-to-back turns on the narrow and steep slope down to the rock. A heart-in-throat drop that pushed her to her physical and mental limits.
Charlene carefully steered to the left side of the rock. It was a tricky maneuver, because she didn't have much space to navigate, and had to hit the constriction at the correct angle. To make things even more difficult, the whole area was icy. It was definitely only for advanced skiers.
The competitive skiers used that rock, well covered with snow, as jump to gain more speed. They often jumped hundred or more yards in the air, until they landed again in the snow.
Graham had wanted to do just that. He’d done it before. It wasn't that hard if you knew the exact angle, where to take off the rock. But the weather conditions had been bad, he’d probably had bad vision and according to the paramedics a gust of wind must have swayed him while jumping. He’d lost control in the air and crashed hard onto the ground, slithering another 100 yards down, until his head hit a tree at the side of the slope and he’d instantly died.
At least that's what the rescue team and the police had reconstructed about the accident. Time seemed to wind back and she could now clearly see Graham how he fought to regain control in the air, but fell and tumbled, slithered, down and down. Until she heard a distinct “Crack” when his body crashed into the tree.
An icy feeling crept into Charlene's body and she shivered. Don't stop. Concentrate. You can do that. Graham’s not here. It’s your imagination.
Evan caught up with her and shouted, "You are doing great, darling. Keep going!"
She didn't feel like doing well. Not at all. But she continued to move downhill. Swing after swing. Charlene had to put all her focus on her skis now. Turn left. Don't look down. Turn right. Focus. Turn left. Slow down. Put more weight on the right leg. Slow down. Breathe.
It took her three more turns until she reached the rock. Devil’s Horn. That’s what they called it. What an appropriate name. The Devil waiting to spear you with his horn.
Her knuckles must have turned white by now, her fingers were stiff and bloodless from squeezing the ski poles with all her force. Every fiber in her body hurt. Physical pain. Emotional pain. Mental pain.
She heard the hum of Evan's skis behind her. His presence gave her that pinch of security and strength she needed to go on. Past Devil’s Horn. Down to the tree where Graham had died.
His parents had placed a small wooden cross besides the tree. Once she reached it, she stopped and flopped into the snow. Taking off her glove, she gently stroked the c
ross as if it was her friend. Tears filled her eyes and finally the numbness left her and she released all of her pent up tears.
She wasn’t a quiet crier. She bawled and wept. Her tears had broken through the floodgates and there was no stopping them. Not even when Evan wrapped his arms around her and she leaned back into his chest. After a long while, the sobbing decreased and calmness settled in and around her body.
She whispered to the area around the cross, "I miss you so much Graham. Every day. You were my best friend. And I feel so guilty. I should have stayed with you that day. I should have stopped you."
Suddenly she heard a voice in her head, "You couldn't have changed anything. You couldn't have saved me. It was my decision. You need to go on with your life. Please do it for me."
A heavy burden fell from her soul and for the first time in ages, she felt light. Liberated. At peace. God, I’ve missed feeling like this for such a long time.
There was no more guilt or recriminations to deal with, just the sure knowledge that the tragedy of two years before was in the past. Where it belonged.
She turned to face Evan and the worry in his face warmed her heart. "I am fine now. Let's go."
"Are you sure?" he asked her.
She nodded and he helped her up without a word. Charlene was thankful for his silence. She wouldn’t have been able to talk about her emotions in this moment. Together they cruised down the rest of the hill. It was almost a pleasant run. Just almost.
Back at Eagle Mountain village, she was joyful, but totally drained of all energy. It had been an exhausting experience – both physically and emotionally.
Evan hugged her once again, "I'm so proud of you!"
Blood rushed to her head. A compliment? That’s what she had least expected. She glanced at her watch. Now that they had arrived in town, she noticed how hungry she was. No wonder, she thought as she shook her head. It’s way past lunchtime!
She heard herself say, "Wanna grab a bite? It's on me."
Evan grinned at her, his mega-watt grin causing her to tingle in all the right places. God, why can’t I handle having him smile at me. He can get me all hot and bothered, just about as fast as he can turn that killer grin in my direction.
Chapter 14
Evan noticed how turned on she was and loved the effect he had on her. He wanted to take her right back to his hotel room and continue what they’d started in the morning, but his stomach growled too loud to be overheard, "How could I refuse an invitation from such a courageous woman?"
During lunch, he asked her about her plans for the summer, now that the skiing season was almost over.
Charlene sighed, „The lifts and the skiing school were slated to close next weekend, but a late storm system came through the state earlier last week, dumping multiple inches of snow on the mountains. Our boss just informed us that Eagle Mountain extended the season for week. So it looks like I have to stay here for another two weeks.“
He kissed her, „I’d love to stay with you until the end of the season, but I can’t. My flight to Chicago leaves early next week. My sponsors have arranged a few events for me, that I have to attend and my family is dying to see me after the long winter season.“
She slipped her hand into his and he loved the feel of it. „Let’s go for a walk, shall we?“
That must have been the sweetest thing a woman ever said to me.
They got up and walked hand in hand through the snow-covered village. If he wasn’t so sad about the imminent separation, he’d definitely enjoy the winter wonderland. None of them had spoken about the elephant in the room, until he plucked up the necessary courage and asked her, „Look I have a just a tiny one-room apartment in Chicago. But after the Sports Star of the Year Gala in three weeks I head to my house in Chestnut Mountain and begin my summer training. Why don’t you come with me and we figure out how to continue from there?“
She hesitated, „I don’t want to intrude on you.“
„You don’t. I love you Wonder Woman and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.“
She leaned into him, „I have to get a summer job, save up money for the children’s ski school.“
He came up with a brilliant idea how to kill two birds with one stone, „Why don’t you open your ski school in Chestnut Mountain? Then you can move in with me and pursue your dream.“
“Really?”
“Yes. If you let me become your business partner, we can start the groundwork this very summer.“
„But you have other things to do...“ He could see the doubt in her face.
„Darling, I won’t be able to ski competitively forever and need to start thinking about alternatives. I love your idea of a school for kids, and there’s plenty of room to develop your ideas and turn them into reality.”
He could see she was overwhelmed by his offer, but after some persuasion, she agreed to at least think about it. She’d fly to Chicago as soon as her season was over to attend the Sports Star of the Year Awards, where he was nominated for Male Winter Sports Star. They’d decide on the rest once she was in Chicago with him.
When she slowly nodded her head, wanted to high-five himself. She was coming to Chicago to be with him, and he was sure, she’d agree to build her dream together.
He used his last two days in Eagle Mountain to call his lawyer's, and the businessmen of the family, his brother Douglas, and his father. His father owned a big construction company and Douglas was his right hand man, they would know how to set up a company and build a winter playground. Much to his delight, both of them believed the idea was doable and would prove profitable, even in such a short time. He felt blessed, that he had such a loving family and could always rely on their support.
***
Charlene felt torn. Things with Evan were wonderful and she was looking forward to meeting him in Chicago, but her heart squeezed at the thought of not seeing him for two weeks.
She already missed him, and he hadn’t left yet! Just the thought of being without him for such a long time, caused her stomach to churn painfully.
On their last day together, Charlene found herself working. She had tried to get out of it, but couldn’t.
Evan had been very secretive this morning as he’d kissed her off to work, but when she’d pressed him for answers, he’d simply shrugged his shoulders and told her to have a good day. He had made one request earlier that morning; a request that stirred her senses and consumed her thoughts the entire day.
“Pack a little black dress and the shoes to go with and leave it at my place before you go to work.” She’d done as he requested, and stopped by his place before heading off to work.
Where in the world would she need a little black dress? There weren’t that many places that required a dress code. She didn’t know of a single one in Eagle Mountain. Maybe in the next bigger village, about 15 miles down the road.
For the sake of it, she couldn't figure it out. What bothered her most though, was the crooked grin on his face, obviously pleased with himself, when she was begging him to tell her this morning, but he wouldn't. She shrugged, I’ll just have to wait!
Throughout the day, he’d sent her texts, teasing her about his plans for tonight. Did you already figure it out?, or You’ll be blown away, wonder woman. He’d pay for keeping her in suspense one way or another! The last text said Meet U at the middle station at 4.
She couldn’t get there fast enough, in the need to satisfy her curiosity. Evan was already waiting for her with that iceberg melting smile on his handsome face. Without giving it further thought, she threw herself into his arms, knocking him off balance. He finally managed to recover his equilibrium, saving them from both falling down into the snow.
„Hey, not as tempestuous!“ He kissed her, taking her mouth in a meeting of teeth and tongue and drew a moan of desire from her lung. She could have continued kissing him until the sun went down, but he broke their kiss after just a few intense seconds and told her, “We have to hurry if we are going to catch the la
st gondola up."
"Up? Gondola? Where are we going?" she asked, bursting with curiosity.
"No, Miss Curious, not gonna happen. It’s a surprise. Follow me."
Evan escorted her to the gondola. By now she couldn’t stand the tension anymore and had thought of the perfect plan to pry the surprise out of him. She slowed down enough to make sure, they got a gondola car all by themselves.
“Tell me where we’re going,” she implored him. “Pleeeeaaaase.”
Evan shook his head at her pretend pout, “We’ll be there in a few minutes. You have to wait.”
“No.” She stepped into him, plastering the front of her body plastered against his, “Won’t you please tell me? Or at least give me a hint.”
He chuckled at her attempt to seduce an answer from him. “Behave.”
She gave him a sultry look, “What if I don’t want to?” She observed him for a moment and then used her fingertips to dig into the sides of his ribs. Evan Armstrong was extremely ticklish and she had him squirming in no time, “Tell me where we’re headed and I’ll stop.”
„No.“ Evan finally managed to capture her roving hands and backed her up to the center pole of the gondola car. Pressing her against the pole, he lowered his lips to hers, while tightly keeping ahold of her hands, which sent more than a little thrill through her.
The kiss flared the heat between them, and Charlene soon forgot anything other than his lips on hers and his muscular body holding her captive. Next thing she knew, the gondola doors opened and he quickly lifted her outside, her cheeks burning from the kiss that had enflamed her body.
He turned her towards a cat track that was very rarely used. Charlene followed him, still trying to figure out where he was taking her. When he didn’t turn left at the next crossing, the path that would take them back to town, but veered right she finally grasped where they were headed.
No way! We’re headed for Mount Pacific Lodge. It was by far the fanciest hotel in the area, a jet-set location for the superrich. In winter the secluded place offered exactly to ways of access: by skis or by helicopter.
Daring to Love: A Contemporary Romance (The Armstrongs Book 3) Page 7