by Judith Stacy
“You sure you’re feeling all right?” he asked.
“Never better.” Mattie smiled gently. “Never.”
A cheer rose from the crowd. Because Jared was taller, he saw the parade heading their way.
“I’ve got to go.” He escorted her to Billy’s side, away from the press of people, so she wouldn’t get jostled. “I’ll be back later.”
Having everyone’s attention focused on the parade created a perfect opportunity for criminals to strike. Jared moved through the crowd, keeping an eye on the businesses and citizens rather than the brightly decorated wagons passing by.
When the parade ended, everyone gathered around the grandstand to hear Stanford’s volunteer band play, listen to the speeches and get a closer look at the investors. Jared made a sweep of the nearly deserted businesses, then headed toward the grandstand.
A flash of blue darted in front of him, and Chuckie Waldron kicked him in the knee.
Jared squeezed his lips together to keep from cursing. He didn’t have time to waste on this kid, not today of all days. But when he swung around, sure the boy would have darted away as he usually did, he found Chuckie glaring up at him.
“I ain’t ‘fraid of no lawman,” the boy declared. He squinted his eyes at Jared and stuck out his chin.
A town full of strangers, and this was his biggest criminal.
Jared rubbed his knee. “Go home, Chuckie. I haven’t got time for you.”
Chuckie pushed his chin farther out. “I ain’t going nowhere, and you can’t make me.”
Jared’s irritation grew. “Look, Chuckie, you’d better go home before you get into serious trouble.”
“You can take me to jail. I don’t care.”
“Look here, you’d—”
Chuckie stuck out his tongue and wiggled his butt back and forth.
“All right. That’s it. Let’s go.”
Jared expected the boy to turn tail and run for home, but he didn’t. Instead, he followed Jared down the boardwalk.
Darn kid. He needed to be taught a lesson. But Jared didn’t have time today. Still, he couldn’t just turn away and let a five-year-old get the upper hand.
Jared paused at the edge of the boardwalk, ready to cross the street. Tiny fingers curled against his palm, sending a rush up his arm. He looked down to find Chuckie holding his hand.
“I’m not ‘posed to cross the street by myself,” he explained.
Jared’s heart softened. “That happens with a lot of the outlaws I know.”
Hand in hand, they crossed the street and stepped up onto the boardwalk on the other side.
“Are you ‘resting me, Sheriff?” Chuckie asked excitedly, bouncing on his toes, still clinging to Jared’s hand.
No, he intended to take him to his parents down at the barbershop and let them figure out what to do with the boy. But Chuckie had other ideas. He broke free of Jared’s hand and raced ahead, darting into the jailhouse.
“Is them the cells, Sheriff?” Chuckie’s eyes were big as saucers as he pointed down the hallway. “Is that where you’re putting me?”
“That’s where prisoners go. Looks pretty scary, doesn’t it.”
“Shoot, no,” Chuckie declared, hitching up his trousers. He dashed down the hallway and into one of the cells. “See? I ain’t scared.”
Hellfire, probably half the town was getting carried away by shoplifters at this moment, and here Jared was fooling around with this kid.
“Go home, Chuckie.”
“Huh-uh.” The boy folded his arms across his chest.
Jared blew out an exasperated sigh. “You want to be in jail? Fine, you’ll be in jail.” He swung the door closed and stalked away.
He hadn’t gone halfway across his office when Chuckie let out a piercing scream that turned him around. The boy stood in the center of the cell, arms at his sides, face turned up, big tears cascading down his cheeks.
“I don’t want to be no outlaw no more,” Chuckie wailed. “I don’t like this place!”
Jared opened the door, which had never been locked, and knelt in front of the boy.
“I want my mama!”
Surely Chuckie Waldron wasn’t the first person locked in this cell to think that.
“Come on, son, we’ll get your mama.” Jared picked him up. Chuckie collapsed onto his shoulder, squeezing his neck and crying in his ear.
The Cottonwood Café surely rivaled the finest restaurant in the East, Jared decided as he took his seat along with everyone else. Mattie’s decorating ideas had transformed the Café’s cozy, homey atmosphere to one of refined elegance. White tablecloths gleamed in the candlelight, fresh roses added a touch of color, all highlighted by blue bunting draped artfully around the room.
The mayor and councilmen, Stanford’s businessmen, their wives, and the Easterners had all turned out in their best attire. Jared had put on his Sunday shirt and tie.
But truthfully, he didn’t want to be here, and had come only because the council insisted. Jared wanted to be back in the kitchen helping Mattie. This was a big day for her, and a lot was riding on her shoulders. He’d stopped by earlier, expecting total chaos in the kitchen, but instead had found it almost serene. Everyone knew their job and went about it efficiently. Jared was pleased to see that Billy handed out directions and answered questions, relieving Mattie of much of the responsibility.
Still, whether they needed him in the kitchen or not, it was where Jared wanted to be. He worried that Mattie was overdoing it, tiring herself too much, physically as well as emotionally.
When the mayor finally finished his remarks, Reverend Harris offered a prayer, and supper was announced.
The Spencer girls looked pretty in dark blue skirts, crisp white blouses and red aprons as they served. Conversation hummed softly; forks clicked against plates. When dessert and coffee were finished, Mayor Rayburn rose with his napkin tucked under his chin, calling Mattie’s name. As she slipped through the curtain from the kitchen, the mayor thanked her for the fine meal, and everyone applauded. She beamed with delight. Jared had never been more proud of anyone in his life.
Afterward, when everyone finally left the restaurant, Jared went into the kitchen. Mrs. Nance, Billy and the Spencer girls were all busy cleaning, washing and scrubbing. Mattie, her sleeves rolled back, dried dishes.
When she saw Jared, she let out a whoop and threw her arms around his neck. It took all his strength not to whirl her around or squeeze too tightly.
“Everything went perfectly!” she declared, wide-eyed and smiling. She waved the dish towel in her hand around the kitchen. “Thanks to these wonderful people.”
“You all did a great job,” Jared declared. “The food was the best I ever tasted.”
“Everyone else must have thought so, too,” Mrs. Nance said. “We’ve hardly a crumb left over.”
“Are you about finished up for the night?” Jared asked. Though he’d never seen Mattie happier, he could tell the day had been tough on her. She looked tired and a little pale. He wanted to get her home and off her feet.
“Just awhile longer,” Mattie said.
“Can I borrow Billy?” When Mattie nodded, Jared whispered to him and sent him out the back door. “I’ll give you a hand in the dining room.”
By the time they’d collected the candles and flowers from each table, folded the cloths and put out the blue checkered ones, Mrs. Nance and the Spencer girls had finished everything in the kitchen.
“Good night,” Mattie called as they all went out the back door together. “Get some rest. We’ll surely have a busy day tomorrow.”
Jared tucked Mattie’s arm in his as they headed toward her house. To his pleasure, she didn’t protest. In fact, she seemed to accept it as normal. But it concerned him that she walked a little slower than usual; the day had taken its toll.
Mattie couldn’t remember when she’d been so tired. Everything ached. But she was filled with so much excitement she couldn’t keep quiet. Jared didn’t seem to mind as she
told him every little thing that had happened at the Cottonwood today.
When they reached her house, Mattie stopped suddenly. Lantern light burned in the windows.
Jared patted her hand. “I sent Billy over to make things comfortable for you.”
Please and surprised, Mattie smiled. “How thoughtful.”
“Couldn’t do any less for the owner of the most prosperous restaurant in Stanford.”
When they got inside there was no sign of Billy. Flickering lanterns softly illuminated the kitchen, and steam rose from the bathtub in the corner.
Mattie’s knees nearly gave out. “You had Billy make me a bath? Oh, Jared…that’s just the sweetest thing.”
“Now, don’t cry.” Jared waved his hand frantically. “Go get your nightclothes and get into the tub.”
Mattie fetched her things, then closed the curtain around the tub, undressed and sank into the warm water.
Heavenly. Absolutely heavenly. She lay back, resting her head against the tub, and slid deeper into the water.
On the other side of the curtain, she heard Jared moving around the kitchen. Here she sat, naked, with only a thin piece of fabric and his honor separating them, and Mattie didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. In fact, having him close at such an intimate moment seemed completely normal.
Mattie closed her eyes, comfortable and secure.
She stayed in the water until it started to cool and she could barely hold her eyes open. Her limbs seemed heavy and sluggish as she dried herself and slipped her yellow nightgown over her head. When she pulled back the curtain, Jared waited.
Her heart beat a little faster at the sight of him. Seemingly, it was the only part of her moving. Her feet stuck to the floor and her breathing nearly stopped.
Strong, sturdy Jared. Handsome. Thoughtful, kind, caring. It seemed he’d been in her life forever, he fit so well. He belonged there, with her.
The idea didn’t scare Mattie. Instead, it pleased her.
Yet where had that notion come from? What did it mean? For so long she’d struggled to hold Jared at arm’s length. Now she was comfortable with his closeness. How had that happened? When had it happened? Did it mean that she’d accepted him? That these deeper feelings for him meant she’d fallen in—
“Feeling better?” Jared asked, still standing across the room from her.
Mattie touched her hand to her nightgown, aware of how thin it was. “Much better. But tired.”
“You should get into bed.” He came forward, but instead of motioning her out of the room, he blocked her path. A long moment dragged by while he just looked at her, sending a charge through her.
“Would it be all right if I…?” he began.
She expected him to ask if he could kiss her, he had such a look of love on his face. He’d never asked before, he’d just done it. But this time, the intensity of his expression seemed deeper.
“Would it be all right,” he asked softly, “if I touched the baby?”
Mattie’s heart melted, then swelled so suddenly she thought it might burst through her chest.
“Please?” he asked.
“It’s not moving yet, or—”
“Please.”
She nodded. “Of course.”
Standing sideways next to her, Jared looped one arm around her shoulder and rested his head against hers. With exquisite care, he placed his palm low on her stomach.
The warmth of his hand spread through her. His breath puffed against her cheek.
“Makes me happy to know she’s safe inside you,” he whispered against Mattie’s ear. “Growing strong. Protected. Where nothing can hurt her.”
Jared stood there awhile longer, then moved his hand away and kissed her forehead. “You’d better get into bed.”
In her bedroom, he turned down the coverlet. Mattie sank onto the feather mattress and curled onto her side, facing him.
“I didn’t know I was so tired,” she mumbled.
Jared blew out the lantern and disappeared. But then the bed behind her shifted and she felt his body snuggle against hers.
Mattie roused. “Jared, you can’t—”
“I won’t stay all night.”
Satisfied, Mattie laid her head on the pillow. How comfortable he was against her. All those hard muscles, yet pleasing as an eiderdown quilt.
“Would this be a good time to ask you to marry me?” Jared asked.
“No.”
He looped his arm over her and found her hand beneath the covers, then laced their fingers together. “I love you, Mattie.”
She fell asleep.
Waking the next morning, Mattie couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that Jared wasn’t there. He’d had to leave, of course. It certainly wouldn’t do for him to be seen leaving her place in the morning. But the bed, the house, everything seemed a little empty without him.
Everything, including her life. Mattie couldn’t imagine facing a day without him, now. Since she’d talked to Billy and he’d told her all he knew about Jared—the private Jared—she’d begun to think maybe, just maybe, he was truly a nice man. Maybe he was sincere in his feelings. Maybe, just maybe, he really loved her.
With a sigh, Mattie sat up. She wished she could be certain, somehow, that Jared wouldn’t turn out like Del. With all her heart she wished it. If only there was some way to know for sure. Something Jared could tell her. Something she could learn that would dispel her fears.
But there was no way to be certain. The leap of faith she’d taken with her first marriage had been a disaster. Mattie wouldn’t do that again. Especially now that she had a baby to consider.
Pushing back the covers, she rose, wondering when she’d see Jared today. Business would be brisk at the Cottonwood, and he had his hands full, with all the visitors in town.
She peered out her window. Seemed she wouldn’t have to wait to see Jared, after all. He was out back.
But what she didn’t understand was why he was digging a big hole in her yard.
Chapter Twenty-Two
When Mattie stepped onto her back porch, tieing her robe around her, Jared stopped digging. The morning sun edged over the horizon, coloring the gray dawn a bright orange.
He smiled broadly and waved, then planted the shovel in the loose dirt and walked over. “’Morning.”
“Why are you digging a hole in my backyard?”
“For the baby.” Jared pushed past her into the kitchen. “How about some coffee?”
“The baby?” Mattie followed him inside and closed the door.
Jared pumped water into the basin and washed his hands. “I’m planting a tree.”
Mattie raised an eyebrow, wondering if the morning sun was hotter than she’d thought. “You’re planting a tree for the baby?”
“For shade. She’ll need a cool place to play.” Jared dried his hands and tossed the linen towel on the sideboard, then pointed out the window. “I’m planting it in just the right spot where we can keep an eye on her from in here.”
“But, Jared, it will be years before she can play under a shade tree.”
“Meaning what?” He looked hard at her. “That you don’t think I’ll be around when it happens?”
Mattie’s shoulders sagged under the weight of his accusation. How delightful it would be to imagine the two of them watching their baby through the window together in the years to come. To grow close, grow old.
With all her heart she wished she could tell him she believed all those things would happen. But Mattie couldn’t.
He seemed to read her thoughts. “You don’t think I’ll stick around, do you?”
Sorrowfully, Mattie shook her head. “No, Jared, I don’t. I’m sorry, but I don’t.”
“Because of Del.”
She sighed heavily. “Yes.”
“Don’t you believe me when I say I love you?” Jared took a step closer. “Don’t you trust me yet?”
He sounded hurt and she couldn’t blame him. Still, she had to be truthful. “I want t
o, Jared. Truly, I do. But I’m afraid things will turn out the way they did with Del.”
“He didn’t love you. I do.”
“You don’t understand,” Mattie insisted. “Marriage is a tremendous commitment. You don’t know what you’d be getting yourself into.”
“I won’t change after we’re married.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do,” Jared told her, a hint of anger in his voice.
“You make promises, but you can’t know if you’ll keep them. Things change after the wedding. People change.”
“I won’t change.”
Mattie clenched her fist. “You can’t know that!”
“Yes, I can!”
“No, you can’t—”
“I know because I used to be married!”
She gasped, the fight, the anger, the very breath going out of her.
Jared looked stunned, as if he hadn’t meant to blurt that out. He squeezed his eyes shut for an instant and rubbed his fingers hard against his forehead, then turned away.
“You…you were married?” Mattie asked.
“Yes, I was married,” he said, hardly above a whisper. Another moment passed, and finally, he turned back to her. “A long time ago.”
Mattie gaped at him, trying to understand. He’d been married? She’d had no idea, no inkling.
But maybe she had, Mattie realized, thinking back on how understanding and concerned he’d been over her and the baby she carried. How careful. How he seemed to know things that an unmarried man shouldn’t know.
She took a step closer, but sensed he needed some distance between them, so she didn’t go any farther. The pain, though old, showed in his face.
“Do you want to tell me about it? If you don’t, I’ll understand.”
He looked away once more, as if gathering strength, then straightened his shoulders and turned to her.
“Lucy and I met when we were just kids in school. The minute I laid eyes on her I knew I loved her. Such a pretty thing.” Jared smiled faintly. “We still weren’t much more than kids when we got married. Bought us a few acres, starting farming. Happy…we were so happy.”
“What happened?” Mattie asked.
“She died.” His smile disappeared. Jared drew in a deep breath as if fortifying himself against the memory. “Lucy died…calling out my name…trying to bring our baby into the world.”