My right hand was killing me after punching the asshole for the second time in two days. I gripped the steering wheel tightly in both hands, hoping the pain across my knuckles would help me get myself back under control. It wasn't really helping with the lingering anger, but at least it helped me focus on my driving somewhat. Although, I still didn't realize where I was even going until I turned into the lot of Sydney's apartment building. I breathed a sigh of relief as I pulled into a spot and killed the engine. I just sat there for a moment and ran my hands over my face, breathing deeply in and out.
"Get it together, Hayes," I said aloud to myself. "Get it the fuck together."
I started thinking about Sydney, picturing her perfect oval face and the way she was always blushing. I thought about her lips and how they felt on mine, and about her body pressed up against me. This unbearable need began to fill me, eclipsing the anger and replacing it with a fierce desire. I needed Sydney now, needed to prove she was mine.
I got out of the truck and walked purposefully across the lot; my mind finally focused on something besides anger. By the time I had reached Sydney's door, my body was on fire for her, the need engulfing me. I knocked gently on the door and leaned against the door frame, breathing heavily. The door finally opened, and Sydney looked up at me. Her gray eyes pierced into me and when I noticed the mascara that had run down with her tears, my anger started to rise again.
"Jensen," she said with relief. "I was afraid you weren't coming. You never texted me."
I couldn't speak as I stepped into the apartment. Sydney followed me into the room after she closed the door. I glanced across the room, noticing that no one else seemed to be here.
"Lauren's at Adam's," Sydney said, noticing me looking around. "She left a note. She's still mad at me." Her voice sounded small and sad. I turned to her and saw pain in her eyes. It pained me to see it, and it spiked my anger again. I wanted to protect her, to keep her safe, but everyone seemed to keep hurting her. She gasped when she looked into my eyes, and I wondered what she saw there. If I looked half as out of control as I felt, I must look like a crazy person.
"Jensen?" she asked in a whisper, her eyes starting to darken with desire. Apparently, she liked crazy and my control snapped. I rushed toward her, my hands shoving up into her hair, and I plastered my lips to hers. She immediately sighed into the kiss. We fed on each other's mouths with an insane ferocity I had never felt between us before. Her hands came up to grip my hair, but the sensation was too much, and I released her hair to grab her hands. I pulled them behind her back and held them there, and her body relaxed into mine with a moan of pleasure. My brain nearly short-circuited at her reaction, and I groaned helplessly into Sydney's mouth as my grip on her hands tightened unconsciously. I walked forward until I was pressing her body against a wall and ground my painfully erect cock into her body. Another low moan erupted from her lips. I broke the kiss and looked at her. Her eyes were hooded and relaxed in her submission to me. My God, she looked beautiful. I placed her palms flat on the wall behind her.
"Don't move your hands," I growled, her breathing getting heavier at my words. I gripped the front of her button-up shirt and ripped the front open, sending buttons scattering across the floor. She moaned in need, arching her back and pushing her breasts toward me. I lost my mind and started pulling the rest of her clothes from her body, throwing them haphazardly aside in my haste to get her naked. I undid the zipper of my jeans to release my erection as she pressed her nude body against the wall, her hands still there like I had told her. I lifted her up by her hips, and she wrapped her legs around me. I slid her body up the wall until the tip of my cock pressed against her opening.
"This is mine," I growled into her neck.
"Yes..." she sighed.
"Mine," I repeated and thrust into her. She was so wet that I slid all the way in, and I nearly came on the spot, the warm tight sensation almost too much to bear. I held perfectly still for a breath as I wrested myself back from the brink, then I began moving in and out of her hard and fast.
"Yes, yes, yes, yes," she chanted with every thrust as I grunted harshly along with her, our bodies making loud, wet slapping noises. It all sounded like a symphony to me, and I suddenly needed her hands on me.
"Touch me," I commanded between thrusts. Her hands flew up into my hair and practically ripped my hair out by the roots. The pain was exhilarating, and I began slamming into her even harder. She moved her hands to my chest, and I could feel her nails digging painfully into my chest through my shirt. Holy fuck, she was like a wild animal. Her body began writhing around me, her voice an incoherent jumble of groans and keening whimpers, her hands clenching the fabric over my chest with her fists. I felt her insides begin to ripple around my cock, and I knew she was close. "Come, Sydney," I demanded harshly. "Come now!"
I felt her fall apart around me; her pussy spasming around my cock like a fist, an incoherent scream bursting from her lips. I kept thrusting into her, forcing her climax to go on and on and on. One particularly hard spasm sent me over the edge, and I began to come violently, my legs feeling like they might give out from under me. My cock began to jerk as my come poured into her like a flood, pleasure pulsing through my body. I thought that I might pass out as my body shuddered against hers, my voice a low growl of almost painful pleasure.
Then the only sound was our panting breaths as I held her limp body up against the wall. I could feel my leg and arm muscles beginning to shake with fatigue, but I didn't want to let her go just yet. Her head fell forward onto my shoulder, and I kissed her head softly.
"You still with me, baby?" I whispered to her.
"Mmm, hmm," she mumbled back, and I couldn't help smiling with pure male satisfaction. I'd fucked her into incoherence.
"Let's go get you cleaned up," I said as I pulled myself out of her. I removed one of her legs from around my waist and turned her so that I could cradle her in my arms. She snuggled into me as I carried her down the hall to the bathroom. God, she smelled amazing, like coconut and sex. I entered the bathroom and sat here down gently on the edge of the bathtub. Her arms latched onto my neck tightly when I tried to stand up. "Sydney," I said with amusement. "I can't clean you up if you're latched onto me like a spider monkey."
"Sorry," she mumbled as she let go of me with a smile, her eyes still glassy and far away.
"Where are the washcloths?" I asked as I straightened and zipped my jeans back up. She pointed to a small cupboard above the toilet, and I found what I needed in it. I ran some warm water in the sink and soaked the cloth in it, then wrung it out. I knelt down in front of her, and our eyes met. She looked at me with a gentle affection I had never seen before, and I couldn't help but smile back at her. She reached up and touched my cheek with her fingertips.
"I'm glad you're here," she whispered.
"Me, too," I whispered back as I wiped away the mascara from under her eyes. My God, what this woman did to me. I felt calm now that I was with her, the anger and insanity from earlier were just, gone. I felt like I could breathe again.
Then she spread her legs for me, this time without any embarrassment, and let me clean her gently with the warm cloth. When I was finished, I draped the washcloth over the edge of the tub and placed my hands on her knees. She put her hands on top of mine and squeezed. I winced as sudden pain throbbed through the knuckles of my right hand.
"Oh, my God, your hand!" she exclaimed as she lifted my hand up for a closer look. The knuckles were swollen and starting to bruise a little.
"I'm fine," I assured her as I moved my fingers around for her. "See? Just sore."
"Is this from yesterday?" she asked. "I don't remember it looking like this."
I winced again, but this time not because of my hand. "Not exactly," I answered her and averted my gaze. Would she be angry at me for what I did today? I hadn't exactly been thinking clearly when I had gone after Clay. I didn't think of the consequences of my actions at all.
"What did you do?" she asked
suspiciously.
For a moment, I considered lying, but who was I kidding; I knew I couldn't do that to Sydney. She was too important to me to consider doing that at all, but I still feared her reaction would be poor.
"I, uh, kind of punched Clay again today," I answered her reluctantly, still not meeting her eyes. I heard her let out a long sigh, and I braced for the worst. When she didn't respond right away I looked up to find her pursing her lips and staring at me. I could clearly see the turmoil going through her head. "Andy got me his address, and I confronted him. I told him to leave you alone," I continued confessing, spewing it all out before I could change my mind. "He said some God-awful things about you and I fucking hit him!" I growled out the last part of my sentence as I thought about Clay's words.
"Oh, Jensen," she finally said softly. "What were you thinking? You didn't have to do that for me."
"He called you a whore," I said harshly. "Said you were sleeping around with a bunch of guys, and that you didn't even know their names." I expected her to deny it vehemently, but to my shock, she hung her head in what looked like shame. What the fuck?
She stood abruptly and walked past me across the small room. I stood and watched her take a dark-blue silk robe off the hook on the back of the bathroom door and wrap it around herself. It broke me a little that she felt the sudden need to cover herself in front of me. She turned and held her hand out to me, a sad expression on her face.
"We need to talk," she said with pain in her eyes. I stared at her hand like it was a venomous thing I was afraid to touch, but I reached out to her and took it anyway. I needed to know the truth, even if it killed what was left of my already broken soul.
Sydney led me out to the couch in her living room and sat down, curling her legs under her. She patted the cushion next her, and I reluctantly sat. She leaned against my arm and sighed. I just wanted to take her in my arms and not hear anything she was about to say. The sad, lost look on her face made me afraid of what was coming next. She sighed and laced her fingers with mine, her touch calming me a little.
"There are some things you need to know about me," she said quietly. "Things about my past."
Alright. It was nothing horrible yet. She said her past, not her present. I let out the breath I hadn't even realized I was holding and nodded. She lapsed into silence for a moment. I was starting to get restless, and I squeezed her hand to reassure her. She finally took a deep breath and began.
"After my parents were killed, I was in a really bad place," she said, her voice small and weak. I let go of her hand and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. She snuggled into me for a moment before continuing. "I was only fifteen. Lauren was twenty at the time and away at college, and she moved back home to take care of me. I was a fucking mess for a very long time, and Lauren tried her best, but I was so out of control. I had panic attacks almost everyday and nightmares every night. I was angry all the time. It was fucking awful, and my poor sister was practically still a kid herself."
With a jolt, I recognized everything she was talking about in myself. Oh my God, was I that fucked up? She started talking again before I could dwell on that thought for long.
"I was desperate for a way to numb the pain, so I started drinking a lot and..." she trailed off and tensed against me. I waited breathlessly for her to continue. She abruptly sat up and pulled herself out from under my arm. Her face was a mask of pain as she met my eyes. It broke my heart.
"I...I started sleeping around with anyone who was willing. I'd wake up hung over next to guys, and I couldn't even remember meeting them, let alone remember their names. I can't believe I didn't get pregnant or catch a disease or get killed. What Clay told you was the truth." She looked down in shame and wouldn't meet my gaze, her lower lip trembling. "If you don't want to be with me anymore because of that, I totally understand."
I stared at her in shocked silence. Did she honestly think I cared about anything she had done back then? Lord knows I was no angel myself. I had been a certifiable man whore, and I had only done it because I was a horn dog. She was emotionally destroyed at such a vulnerable age. Who could blame her for acting out to try to smother the pain?
"Have other guys dumped you over this?" I asked her incredulously when I could finally speak past my shock. She nodded as tears welled up in her eyes and began slipping down her cheeks, still not looking at me. My God, she was waiting for me to leave her over this. Her suicide attempt made perfect sense now. Her shame must have been horrible. My poor Sydney, now I understood her in a whole new way, knew why we clicked. We both experienced horrible nightmarish things. She had made it out the other side, and it gave me hope for myself.
"I don't care about any of that," I told her firmly as I shook my head. Her eyes flew up to mine in shock. I reached up and cradled her tear-streaked face in my hands and stared intently into her perfect gray eyes. "I don't care." I kissed her softly, tasting salty tears. After a moment, she kissed me back, and I could feel her relief as she sighed into my mouth. The kiss deepened, and I felt my body reacting to it with a surge of desire. It took a Herculean effort to pull my lips away from hers. She placed her hands over mine and smiled at me. God help me; I wanted her all over again, but I wanted to take her home with me and lavish her with the attention she deserved, in my own bed.
"Can I take you home with me now?" I asked her as I pressed my forehead to hers.
"Yes," she answered and kissed my lips briefly. "Please."
I leaned into her and pushed her down onto her back with a hand between her breasts. She licked her lips as I settled my hips between her open thighs, and I could barely breathe past my need for her. I put my lips on hers again and trailed my hand down to her ass and pulled her pelvis against my already hardening cock. I reached back up to untie her silky robe and pulled the dark-blue fabric off of her right breast. My mouth trailed warm wet kisses down her neck and chest until I paused to meet her eyes, and held her gaze as I lowered my lips to her nipple, feeling it hardening on my tongue. I watched her eyes drift shut as I flicked her nipple with the tip of my tongue and then began sucking gently. Her hips bucked up against my cock, and I growled.
My hand slid down her belly between her legs, and I moaned as I felt how swollen and wet she was for me. I found her clit and began swirling my finger on it, mirroring the motion of my tongue circling her nipple. She threw her head back and moaned deliciously. I watched her cheeks begin to flush, and I knew she was close to coming. I pushed two fingers deep inside her and pressed the pad of my thumb to her clit and watched her come undone under me. A delightful shade of pink lit up her cheeks as she whimpered and moaned with her release, her back arching up to me. I hummed deeply with satisfaction. She suddenly grabbed the hair on the sides of my head and pulled me up to her face. Sydney kissed me passionately, sucking on my lower lip until my toes curled in my boots. Fuck, that woman could kiss.
"Now that's what I call a thank you," I said with a smile as I pulled back from her lips.
"Wait until I thank you for the rest," she said with a wicked gleam in her eyes.
"Sorry to disappoint you, baby," I replied with a wicked grin of my own. "But you're not getting the rest of this until we get to my place." I motioned down at my body as I said the last part. She stuck her lower lip out in the most adorable pout I had ever seen, and I almost lost my resolve to make her wait. I pushed myself up off of her with regret, deciding to stick to my guns, and pulled her robe back around her perfect body.
"I hate waiting," she said in a huff as she crossed her arms under her breasts, causing her cleavage to peek out of her robe. I had to rip my eyes away before I lost control of myself again.
"Oh, it will be worth the wait, baby," I assured her with a wink. "You haven't seen anything yet." She visibly shivered at my words. I'm going to fucking die before I get her home.
"Fine," she huffed again, but her eyes gave away her delight. I turned from her and went to gather up her clothes that I had flung all over earlier, trying to distract mys
elf from thoughts of ripping her robe off right now and fucking her over the back of the couch. I handed them to her as she stood up.
"Go get dressed and pack what you need for tomorrow," I suggested. "I can take you to work and pick you up afterward if you want me too."
"Okay." She sagged with relief. I was glad she agreed. I didn't want that "douche," as Andy had called him, getting his paws on her again. I ground my teeth in anger and fought it down. Now was not the time.
She walked past me toward the hallway, and I slapped her ass as she passed. I shrugged when she glared at me with a gleam in her eye that told me she actually liked it. I had been dying to do that, and I felt no remorse whatsoever. I watched her disappear down the hall with a sigh. I wanted to follow her and watch her get dressed, but I didn't think my willpower was up to the challenge. I'd just end up mauling her on the bed as soon as she untied that damn robe. I had just dropped onto the couch with a sigh to wait for her, when my phone beeped with an incoming text. I pulled my phone out and saw it was from Andy.
Are you in jail? Do I need money for your bail? You can't afford to owe me three favors.
I snorted and shook my head. He was so dramatic sometimes. Yes. Don't bother with the bail though, I'm my prison blocks favorite bitch now. I'll never forget you. Ha, take that. Occasionally I liked to throw him off by giving him a piece of his own smart ass medicine.
Ha, ha, very funny. Seriously, where are you? What happened with the douche?
I'm at Sydney's. The douche has some new bruises, and my fucking hand hurts. Hopefully, the cops don't show up at my place later.
I doubt it. We have witnesses to his douche-baggery. He won't call them.
I hoped he was right. I hadn't cared while I was punching the guy, but going to jail was not on my agenda for tonight. Sydney walked into the room just then, in jeans and a hoodie, carrying a duffel bag.
Let Me Love You: Beautifully Broken Book 1 Page 13