“I’m her ex-husband.”
“Have you called the police?”
“I will, as soon as I know that she’s going to be okay. So, please stop asking me questions and see about her.”
“Jaylin,” Nokea mumbled.
I stood next to her, looking at her with wide, teary eyes. I hated for her to see me like this, but I couldn’t help it. She reached for my hand, softly touching it. Her head moved from side-to-side.
“Don’t do it,” she said clearly. “Please don’t, okay?”
I leaned in to kiss her puffy, cracked lips. That was my reply to her. She responded by squeezing my hand tighter. “Don’t. I love you too, and I need you to please listen to me.”
I shut my eyes and backed away from her, knowing that I could not honor her wishes. I felt as if she was now in good hands, and before I left, I asked the doctor for three things: Take care of her, put her in a private room, and make sure security was at the door. The doctor said he would do his best, and he informed me, again, to contact the police. Unfortunately, I would do no such thing. I called Shane, he answered right away.
“Man, where are you?” he questioned. “I thought we were supposed to meet at your crib this morning? I’ve called you like ten times already.”
“Something urgent came up. I’ll be there within the hour. Stay there until I get there.”
“Will do. I got some good news for you.”
“Unfortunately, I don’t, but don’t go anywhere until I get there.”
I ended the call, and as I traveled back to my car, the ambulance driver who had hit it approached me. He looked fearful. I guess he assumed I was pissed about my car.
“Sir, I take full responsibility for what happened to your car. I need to call the police and file—”
“I don’t have time right now. Forget it. It’ll get fixed.”
“But this is a very expensive car. I’m sure—”
“I said forget it! Now, back up before I run you over. Damn!”
The man appeared shocked by my words. He slowly backed up after seeing how unstable I was. I quickly sped off to go to the hospital where Travis worked. I knew that doing something to him would bring about much trouble for me, but seeing Nokea in the condition she was in just did something horrible to me. I couldn’t control what I felt inside. Not even the thoughts of my kids could stop me from doing what needed to be done. My guns, however, weren’t in this car. One was in another car, and three were locked away in the house. For now, though, my fists had to do. And when the day was over, Travis would be no more.
When I arrived at the hospital where Travis was, I knew exactly what floor he worked on. I wasn’t even sure if he would be there, but as soon as I stepped off the elevator, I started casing the halls, searching for him with fire burning in my eyes. Several people stopped to ask if I needed directions to somewhere or someone. I just kept it moving and didn’t reply. If he was there, I would definitely find him. And I did, nearly ten minutes later. The motherfucker had the audacity to be standing by one of the nurses’ stations, telling a joke. I stood for a moment, listening to his corny ass. The people surrounding him chuckled loudly, some patted his back. He didn’t even see me creeping up from behind. I tapped his shoulder, spun him around and cracked him right in the face with my fist. He fell back, knocking over a heart monitor machine and scattering papers on the floor that were on a desk. The people surrounding him scattered like roaches. Some yelled for security, others just simply got the fuck out of the way. The look in my eyes wasn’t pretty. Travis wiped across his bloody mouth, his eyes were bugged, face was like stone. I stepped forward, and when I lifted my foot, I tagged his face with the bottom of my shoe. This time, his head jerked and he reached for the counter to try and pull himself up.
“Call security!” A nurse yelled again. “Hurry!”
“Run, Dr. Cooper! Get up!”
I looked at the foolish white woman who was trying to spare him. My sinful gaze, however, caused her to run, instead of him. Travis hadn’t the strength to stand up, so he fell again and bounced on his ass. He touched his bloody mouth and started to crawl backwards on his hands. I stepped forward again. I didn’t have shit to say, he already knew why I was there. A man who did a woman like he’d done Nokea wasn’t shit, and he sat there speechless, like the scared bitch he was. He tried to rush up and make a run for it, but I pummeled his midsection with punches that made him grunt loudly and gag. He doubled over, dropping to his knees. This time, he lifted his hand, ready to surrender.
“O . . . Okay.” He tried to catch his breath and spat a gob of blood from his mouth. “I know why yo . . . you’re here, but let’s go outside to handle this.”
I ignored him, and as more people appeared around corners and doors to see what was going on, Travis yelled out to them.
“Anybody in here got a damn gun? This man is crazy! I—”
No one entertained his foolish request, and I silenced him when I pushed a metal food cart over, causing it to land on his back. It flattened him, and dishes and food spilled everywhere. Travis growled out in pain as he tried to wiggle himself from underneath the cart. That was when two other brave doctors rushed over to see if they could help.
“Stop this right now,” one doctor nervously barked at me. “Security will be here in a minute so you need to leave.”
I paid his threat no mind. As they lifted the cart, Travis scrambled from underneath it. He backed into a wall near an exit sign that led to the stairs. Sweat dripped from his forehead, his beady eyes were barely open. He kept squeezing them as if he was in excruciating pain. I stood in front of his pitiful, disgusting ass, eyeing him and listening to him try to defend what he’d done.
“Jaylin, look. Nokea she . . . she’s not the woman you think she is. I’m telling you that she made me do that shit—that bitch made me do it!”
He pounded the floor with his fist and shifted his eyes around, looking at the people he had just confessed to. To me, it didn’t matter because no court of law would ever have an opportunity to hear his case.
Imagining what he’d done to Nokea, and listening to his harsh words about her cut me like a knife. I squatted and grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer to me. Still saying nothing to him, I stared into his eyes so he could witness up close and personal the severe grief he had caused me. I winced, and as a smirk formed on that motherfucker’s face, I pushed his head back, slamming it against the wall. Three slams later, a deep laceration appeared, causing his blood to paint the wall. Travis’ eyes rolled back, he was dizzy as fuck. I could hear more onlookers in the background screaming for help. That was when I open the door to the stairs, and as I assumed he had done to Nokea, I dragged his ass on the floor, making him screech like a bitch.
“Wait—wait a minute. I . . . I’ll apologize.” He managed to break away from my grip, but struggled to balance on one knee. A string of blood ran from his mouth, and as he tried to lift his head and speak, the gargling sound coming from his mouth wasn’t clear. Then again, yes it was.
“Yo . . . You must really love that bitch.” He spat on the floor again and used his shirt to wipe his mouth. “But I’m telling you she is no good. If I could tell you some of the things she said about you, man, you would have kicked her ass too.”
Travis was a sick-ass fool. I responded by grabbing his shirt and tossing him down the concrete stairs. His head bumped the steel rail as he tumbled down one flight. Another gash opened on the side of his head; he laid on the ground trying to nurture his wound by pressing on it. With tension locked in my body, I moved casually down the stairs with my hands dipped into my pockets. Finally, I spoke up.
“Yeah, I do love that bitch, Travis. Love her so much that I’m willing to kill for her.”
Travis swayed back and forth on the ground, displaying much agony as he moaned and squeezed his eyes together. His excuses continued as I stood over him.
“I had too much to drink! Didn’t really know what I was doing, until it was too late.�
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My response was a blunt kick to his side that caused him to roll over on his stomach.
“Ahhhhhh, shit!” he grunted and squirmed on the ground. “You don’t want to do this, fool!”
“Trust me, yes, I do.”
With glee in my eyes, I stomped him with my shoes that were splattered red from his blood. His blood was on my knuckles, as well as on my clothes. I heard security or the police coming from a distance. And figuring that I would, eventually, be arrested, I kept telling myself not here and not like this. I punted Travis in the spine of his back one last time. He screamed so loud that my eardrum clogged. For a minute, I couldn’t hear nothing. I jogged down several more flights of stairs, jetting to the nearest elevator that took me to the lobby. People scurried away as they saw me, looking as if I had slaughtered somebody. I hurried to the exit door, jumped in my car and rushed home so I could get my gun and finish Travis off when no one else was around.
JAYLIN
On the drive home, I mistakenly listened to the voicemail message Travis and Nokea left on my phone. It shook me up and had me at a point of no return. I couldn’t wait to get home and get the necessary artillery to deal with him. I wanted to catch him alone in his office, or at his house, and blow his damn brains out. The gun I intended to use was resting comfortably in my hand, as I sat behind my desk telling Shane about all that had happened. He was in disbelief. He sat back in a chair, shaking his head with a tight face. A bandana was tied around his dreads and he kept cracking his knuckles and rubbing his hands together.
“I can’t believe he did that to her,” he said. “That is fucked up. What kind of man would do something like that?”
“A man who needs to be six-feet under.”
I tucked the gun in the back of my jeans and stood to remove my shirt. Travis’ blood was all over it, so I went to the closet in my office to get a clean shirt and a new pair of shoes. I threw the shirt over my shoulder and went into the bathroom to wash my hands and wipe my face with a towel.
“Jay,” Shane said loud enough for me to hear him. “I know you’re not going to listen to me right now, but I have to say this. Killing him is going to swing a whole lot of heat your way. You have to rethink this. Even though I know you’re mad, this is not the right answer.”
I stuck my head out of the bathroom to reply to him. “Mad? Do I look mad to you? Nah, I’m not mad. I’m fucking furious! There is not one damn word you can say to me right now that is going to stop me from killing him.”
“How about Jaylene, LJ, Mackenzie and Justin? Man, you can’t do this. There is too much at stake.”
I shrugged while pulling the shirt over my head. Slipped into a cleaner pair of shoes and then I made my way back over to my desk, laying the gun on top of it.
“Maybe so, but what about Nokea? You didn’t see her, Shane. You don’t know what he really did to her. I—”
I paused to swallow the oversized lump in my throat. Visions of her sitting in that closet with the gun in her hand flashed before me. The look on her battered face took my breath away. I couldn’t stop thinking about what she must’ve been going through when he did that to her, and the voicemail message—the thoughts of all of it caused me to drop back in my chair. I leaned forward, lowering my head and placing my forehead on the desk. I fought hard to hold back my emotions in front of my best friend, but I couldn’t. My hand touched my chest; I squeezed and rubbed it, hoping to calm my racing heartbeat.
“She . . . she’s messed up, Shane. He fucked her up, man, real bad.” I lifted my head, looking up at Shane who had tears trapped in his eyes. “She will never be the same. I don’t know if she’s going to recover from this. He fucking destroyed her!”
Uncontrollable tears streamed down my face; I sobbed to release some of my misery. The only other time I’d felt close to this was when I’d lost my parents, and when Nokea made a decision to divorce me. I’d lost her then, felt as if I’d lost her now. I told Shane just that. My thoughts, however, wouldn’t allow me to smack away my tears and be done with it. I lowered my head on the desk, again, rubbing the back of my head and mad at myself for letting a motherfucker like Travis slip into her life. I was so hurt. Too hurt to go back to the hospital and look at her, too hurt to let Travis get away with this, and too hurt to think about what was best for my kids.
“Jay,” Shane said, witnessing me lose it. “Don’t do this to yourself, man. Nokea will recover from this, and how can you say you’ve lost her? You haven’t lost her.”
I lifted my head, looking at Shane through my blurred vision. My eyes were narrowed, lashes dripped tears, head was now throbbing.
“I say that shit because she said she was tired. She’s been through so much, and in every single relationship she’s had, she gave it her all, especially with us. I couldn’t ask for more from a wife, and all that she gave me just wasn’t good enough. I kept fucking with Scorpio, had a child with her, moved her to this fucking city, and basically told Nokea to deal with it!” I pounded my fist on the desk, thinking about how I had fucked up. “How fucking selfish is that, huh? And then I was mad at her for being mad at me.”
“You’re being too hard on yourself, and I know for a fact you don’t regret Justin being born. You were trying to sort through your feelings for Scorpio. Nothing that you did to Nokea was intentional.”
“Stop making damn excuses for me.” I wiped my wet face again. “I don’t regret Justin, but I didn’t think about the level of hurt she must’ve felt. The truth is, if I hadn’t fucked up, there would be no Travis. We wouldn’t be here today, and she never would have endured a beating like she did. This shit is on me, and instead of using this gun on him, I should be using it on myself for being so gotdamn selfish and blind.”
Shane’s eyes shifted to the gun. He picked it up and laid it on his lap. “Look, I’m the first person to tell you if and when you’re wrong about something. And even though you’ve made some serious mistakes, I won’t allow you to sit there and blame yourself for what Travis did to her. That shit is on him. None of us knew that he was capable of doing something like that, not even her.”
Shane was trying to make it all sound good, but I couldn’t agree with what he was saying. Reality had set in for me. There was simply no other way for me to look at this. And then, I had the audacity to be upset with her for falling out of love with me. For not showing me love, as if she owed me something, after all I’d done. I couldn’t stop shaking my head. I couldn’t stop thinking about my fuck-ups, as well as what Travis had done. It was time to put his ass to rest. If killing him gave Nokea just a little peace of mind, that was enough for me.
“I need to get out of here,” I said to Shane and held out my hand. “Give me the gun. I’ll check in with you later. Make sure you have your phone handy, just in case I need to reach you or have you call Frick for me.”
Disappointment was all over Shane’s face. “So, you’re really going to go through with this, huh?”
I glared at him, without saying a word. He was starting to irritate me. He knew that when my mind was made up, it was made up period.
“If this is what you want to do,” he went on to say. “That’s cool. Just keep in mind that Frick can’t get you out of everything. The last time you—”
I stood, tired of listening to the bullshit. “Give me the gun and shut the fuck up talking to me. The good doctor is probably still at the hospital or at home. After I finish him off, I’m going to go see Nokea. Remember what I said, alright?”
“I know what you said. Call Frick, but I’m not giving you this gun. Sorry, but you gon’ have to fight me for it, right here and right now.”
I honestly didn’t have time for Shane’s bullshit. If I had to beat his ass, so be it. Then again, we didn’t have to go out like that. All I did was reach for my phone and let it speak for my actions.
“Flip the script, muthafucka, and listen to this. Instead of it being Nokea’s voice, pretend that it’s Tiffanie’s, if you must.”
I replayed the voicemail message on my phone: “Yo, Jaylin!” Travis yelled into the phone. “Listen up, you punk ass bitch. Nokea and I want to sing Happy Birthday to you. We’ve been practicing all night, and I think we’re good now.” Travis started to sing, but soon paused. There was a tussling noise and Nokea’s cries sounded off in the background. “Sit yo ass up and sing,” he shouted. “This ho over here tripping, but she probably can’t speak because I done tried my best to knock out every last one of her fucking teeth! She still should be able to sing, though, can’t you, baby? Sing now or sing while you’re six-feet under.” There was another pause, more crying and then Nokea started to sing. “Ha—happy bir—birthday to you. Hap—py—” She screamed into the phone. “Jaylin, please come help me! I think he’s going to kill meeeee!” The phone went dead after that.
Shane looked at me, his Adam’s apple moved in and out as he swallowed hard. He reached out, slapping the gun in my hand. “Blow that muthafucka’s brains out,” he said. “And bring me back a souvenir.”
I cut my eyes at him and tucked the gun in my jeans again. As I stepped forward to leave, I heard the doorbell ring. I rushed to pick up the remote to look at the outdoor cameras. Two cops were standing outside.
“I need to go,” I said to Shane then tightened a Nike cap on my head. “Tell them I’m not here, don’t tell Nanny B anything, I’ll be back and wait for my call later. I’ll deal with the police tomorrow.”
I hurried out of my office, going through the back to make my exit. As I walked through the main level, I could see the kids playing in the court area. LJ was trying to show Justin how to shoot hoops, Jaylene was tumbling on a mat and Mackenzie was sitting on the floor reading a book. Nanny B was next to her while they talked. I smiled, even though I hadn’t done so all day. Deep down, I knew they’d be okay. I also knew that after this was done, there would be consequences I’d have to deal with. My disguise probably wasn’t enough to hide my identity, but if recognized by anyone, I would surely deny everything.
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