“My ex-wife isn’t troubled. She is just a bitch,” I blurt, placing the back of my hand to my head as I do with the kids. I must be getting sick. There is no other explanation for all of these uncharacteristic outbursts.
“Be that as it may, if you haven’t spoken to him, I don’t think it would hurt. Children rarely stick to their guns for as long as Tate has without reason,” she tells me stubbornly.
Had I talked to him? Yes, I know I had. The night she left, we sat and talked over pizza. But he hadn’t stopped talking at that point, the asshat voice in my head reminds me. How dare she question my parenting. I have been doing the best I can. She has no right to judge me.
As if she is reading my mind, she speaks. “Mr. Dexter Cross,”
“Jesus. Just call me Dex.” I all but yell and gone is the confident young woman from a moment ago. The woman before me is in fight or flight mode, so I try to backtrack.
“Look, I’m sorry. This is a challenging time for me. I shouldn’t be raising my voice at you. To be honest, Ms. Heart, I’m not sure what it is about our interactions that are making me react like I am. I don’t do outbursts. I’m generally more composed, always in complete control. I am sorry if I have startled you. My only explanation is that my company is in the middle of acquiring, or at least attempting to acquire, a company in London. If that can happen, it will make life much more comfortable for me, my family, and my employees.”
I wasn’t lying when I said I don’t do outbursts. It is what has made me so good in the boardroom. I’m controlled. I’m calm. Jesus, maybe I caught whatever Harper has. She is still looking down when she mumbles something I don’t quite catch. “What was that, Ms. Lanie Heart?”
She sighs and aims her eye to the ceiling. “Shiplap.”
I raise an eyebrow at her in question. When she doesn’t respond, I ask, “Did you just say shiplap? Didn’t you also say earlier that you walked into a ship-sandwich?” I don’t even try to hide the smirk taking over my face anymore.
Jesus, this girl is unexpected. She flushes bright red from the tips of her ears down her neck to her barely visible cleavage. I snap my eyes back to hers. Do not get caught ogling the nanny, you asshat.
“Ugh,” she slaps a hand over her eyes. “Honestly?”
“I do value honesty above all else, Ms. Lanie Heart.” I feel my face transforming into a full-on smile. When was the last time I smiled at someone I hadn’t created like I am at Lanie Heart? Seriously, why does my brain insist on referring to her with both her first and last names?
“Okay, full disclosure,” she gives a small smile “I swear like a drunken sailor…in my head. I haven’t sworn out loud since I was ten. Now it just comes out in the most ridiculously PG statements.”
The bark of laughter that comes out of me is so unexpected, I don’t bother trying to contain it. “What happened when you were ten?”
Lanie Heart stares at me for a minute. “My mother’s boyfriend happened.” She looks away and I have an unreasonable amount of anger towards this boyfriend. When she notices my hands balled into fists, I make a show of flexing them, forcing them to relax.
“Care to elaborate?” I ask in as calm a voice as I can muster.
“No,” she looks away.
That’s it, just no. Lanie stares straight ahead.
“Ms. Lanie Heart?” I say, trying to get her attention.
“Just Lanie,” she answers.
I smile again. “Okay, just Lanie. I’m entrusting my future nanny with the welfare of my children. There has to be a level of trust and understanding between myself and whomever I hire.”
“I agree. I also believe there is a line between employee and employer. Not everything is for quenching an employer’s curiosity.” She got me there.
“Touché, Lanie, touché.” I clear my throat. “Getting back on track. Vermont is awfully far away. How can I be sure you won’t get homesick and leave me hanging?”
The smile on her face sends a bolt of sunlight straight to my blackened heart. She gives me a sly smile before speaking. It makes me feel like I’m about to be told her deepest, darkest secrets.
“Well, Dex, as you can assume, I didn’t have the best family life growing up. That doesn’t mean I didn’t have examples of healthy relationships, though. My best friend's parents became second parents to me. Actually, in most ways, more like the parents I never had, even though my mother was physically present most of the time. Maxine and Pete McDowell, my friend’s parents, took me under their wing. I don’t know that I would have been able to attend college without their help and support.”
“Anyway,” she continues, “they have a house in the Outer Banks. I have spent weeks at a time there since I was ten years old. I love North Carolina, and to be honest, I need to be here right now. I won’t lie and say I’ll be here forever, so don’t go falling in love with me, Mr. Cross.” She smirks and gives me a wink before a blush crosses her fair skin once again, then she quickly continues, “But I will sign a contract to stay for one full year.”
A lot happened to this girl when she was ten. I can’t begin to imagine what her life has been like. I should also be concerned that it irritates me when she says she needs to be here, not wants to be here. I’ll focus on that another time. Most importantly, why did I feel sucker-punched when she told me not to fall in love with her? Not that that would ever be a possibility, I’m not giving my heart away again, ever. Period. She will stay for one year and then we will part ways. Stop thinking about why that makes you sad, Cross.
The way she is looking at me, I decide I need to cut her a break. “I don’t know the McDowell's personally, but I did study their careers when I was in law school. They are remarkable attorneys.”
She nods in agreement. “They are even more amazing humans.”
“Okay, Ms. Lanie Heart. I think we can agree you are extremely qualified, and we all saw how my children respond to you. That’s not something I take lightly. Could you just briefly fill me in on what you have been doing for the last eighteen months?”
The color drains from her face and she fidgets in her chair. Surely, she was expecting this question, right? An eighteen-month gap in your work history? It’s a reasonable question to ask. So, why do I feel like the world’s biggest asshole?
My blood runs cold at her response.
“Recovering,” she responds with a shaky voice.
“You were in an accident?” I inquired, leaning forward in my chair.
She shrugs, “Sure.”
I frown. Sure? What kind of answer is that? I can tell by her blank stare that I’m not going to get any more information from her on this. I also know I cannot hire her to care for my children without knowing. I need to buy some time for my guy Ryan from SplitVision Securities to dig into this further.
“What is your plan now that you are here? Are you interviewing with other families?” Over my dead body, the voice in my head shouts, you’re mine. I feel my forehead again. What in the ever-living hell is going on with me?
Lanie throws her hair over one shoulder. “Not this week. When I leave here, I’m driving to Corolla to stay at my friend’s beach house for a few days. I love it there. It always makes me feel at home.”
“Corolla?” I almost leap from my leather chair. “That’s at least six hours from here.” I peek at my phone. It's already 6:30. Has she been here that long? Shit, should I pay her? “You won’t get there until one in the morning!”
She stares at me, blinking slowly.
“Molly will get you a room in town for the night so you can leave at a reasonable hour,” I insist.
Lanie’s head raises to glare at me with narrowed eyes, “Wait, what?”
Oh boy, she looks pissed.
“She will do no such thing. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I will be driving to the beach. Tonight! Do you have any more questions for me, Mr. Dexter Cross?” She asserts.
What can I say? I have no control over this woman. The thought makes me smile inwa
rdly. I have a feeling I would never have control of her even if she were mine. Mine. Cut the shit, Cross. “No, Ms. Lanie Heart. No more questions. I plan to follow up with your references and will be in touch soon. Thank you for coming…and thank you for your help. I can’t believe the girls are still sleeping. I’m not going to lie, it scares me for tonight, though.”
She gives me a small smile, and I feel like the king of the castle again.
“They are teething, Mr. Dexter Cross,” she tells me kindly. “Harper's top gums are swollen. Sarah looks like she has one on the bottom left just about to break the skin. Just give them some infant Tylenol before bedtime, that will help. If they wake up in the middle of the night, just remake the teething pouch I showed you earlier. That will help the inflammation in their gums. I would suggest you go on to Amazon and purchase some teething rings and real pouches asap, though. You’re going to need them, and I didn’t see any in my quick look around.”
I feel myself still smiling as I walk her to the door. “Thank you, Lanie.”
“You’re welcome, Dex.” Her smile doesn’t quite meet her eyes as she walks out the door.
I hear Molly’s heels coming down the hallway towards me, but I turn to go back to my office. She watches as I head to the window and peer out just in time to see Lanie pounding her forehead on her steering wheel. And I’m smiling. Again. Good, at least I wasn’t the only one to be affected by this fucked up afternoon.
“Sir?”
I turn my head to look at Molly. She looks how I feel. Then I realize Girls Just Want to Have Fun is blaring from a bright pink phone case.
“Lanie forgot her phone…and if you don’t hire that girl, I quit.”
My head snaps to attention. She can’t be serious.
As if reading my thoughts, she adds, “As a heart attack.”
“Understood. But you can’t quit. I need you. I’m just not sure yet if Lanie Heart is the best one for the job given her background.” There are so many reasons that would make hiring Lanie Heart a colossal mistake, but I can't tell Molly that. I take the phone from Molly’s hand. “She is in the driveway, I’ll bring it out to her.”
“Ryan speaking,” He always sounds like a robot. Ryan Murphy is a private investigator I recently hired and keep on retainer. Lately, his only job has been keeping an eye on Bitchzilla, but that will have to wait, for now.
“Ryan, it's Dexter. I need a report on Lanie Heart. The full report, whatever it takes. And I need it yesterday.”
“It’ll cost you. I already told Molly, the state sealed much of her file,” he states monotonously.
“Just do what you need to do and get it to me. I can’t hire this woman to watch my kids without knowing everything,” I leave no room for error in my tone.
“Consider it done.”
“Thanks,” I respond before hanging up.
Lanie
Chapter 5
Mr. Sexy Bossy Pants was wrong. It didn’t take six hours, it took eight, but I’m here. I let myself in with the key Mimi gave me when I was sixteen. An overwhelming sense of relief washes over me. I’ve never felt more at peace than I do when I’m here. I set my stuff down and look around. Mimi knew I hated the dark. She must have had the cleaning staff leave on every light in the house. God, I love that woman.
Everything is exactly the way I remembered it. They stopped renting it out a few years ago because they plan to retire here someday, so there are more personal touches here now than when we were kids. I walk over to the mantel in the family room now full of photos, mostly of Jules and me. I don’t remember my mother ever even owning a picture of me. Here, it’s like I have always been a part of their family.
I set the frame I was holding down and turn to the windows that take up the entire backside of the house to look out at the ocean. The waves here always calm me. They are nothing like the waves on Cape Cod. These waves are angry yet beautiful. I have a feeling that’s also how people would describe me these days.
I reach for my hair elastic on my wrist and come up empty. I check the other wrist and realize I left it at Mr. Dexter Cross’s house.
Dexter Cross.
I grab a throw blanket off the back of the couch and head out to the deck. It’s not the peak season yet, but there are still a few Adirondack chairs out here, each weathered from the salt air. I sit down and pull my legs under me. My hand lands on the engraving Jules and I did when we were about fourteen. ‘Julia and Lanie. BFFs always’. I let my fingers caress the work of young teenagers while I think about the day's events.
I don’t think I have ever responded to someone the way I did to Dexter. I know he was looking for information about the last year, but I couldn’t tell him. Someday, I hope I'll be able to tell someone about everything that happened to me, but not him. He’s too intense. Too moody. Too fucking hot. If I’m being honest with myself, I won’t blame him for not hiring me. I was a mess in there today, and his questions were not unexpected. If they were my children, I would want answers too.
God, those kids were beautiful. I felt uniquely connected to Tate, even though he barely spoke. There was just something about him that drew me to him. I have no doubt him becoming non-verbal has something to do with his mother; I just hope Dexter talks to him. Shit. I really needed that job.
I send Jules a quick text to let her know I’m here. I’m about to put my phone on the table when it dings with a response. I pinch my brows together when I see it’s from a number I don’t recognize but open it anyway.
Dexter: Lanie, this is Mr. Cross. The Tylenol and frozen peas have been a lifesaver. The girls have yet to wake up, but I have not been as lucky. Please let me know you have arrived in Corolla safely.
A ridiculous smile comes over my face as I reply.
Lanie: Mr. Dexter Cross. You’ll no doubt be disappointed to know it did not take me six hours to arrive…it took eight. I just got in, safe and sound. Thank you for your concern. I’m happy the girls are resting comfortably.
I want to add something about his sleeping problem but know that would be crossing a line, so I hit send. His response bubbles start and stop multiple times. Just as I think he isn’t going to respond, he does.
Dexter: Just Dex. Have a good night.
I smile like a middle school girl with her first crush but don’t respond. I’m not sure what to say to that. If I do answer, I’m not sure where it would lead, so I put my phone down and head inside to my bedroom.
I grab my toiletries as I get undressed for bed. Julia would kill me if she knew I was skipping my routine of washing off my makeup and applying moisturizer. She is nothing if not rigid in her habits, but I’m just too exhausted tonight. I make my way to the first bed that was bought for me by the only example of actual parents I have ever had and I think about all that has brought me here.
I'm driving on a dirt road, I know the trailer is back here somewhere, I've just never been. This family is not a client of mine, but it is an emergency and I'm the closest. I read the file before heading over. I'm not sure what my colleague has been thinking, this little boy should have been removed from this home long before now.
I finally find the driveway and pull in. The door hanging on its hinges makes my hair stand up on the back of my neck, but I pull on my big girl panties. There might be a little boy named Max in there that needs me. I slowly walk towards the door and knock.
Inside, I see a little boy sitting under a table, so I call out, "Hello? Hey, buddy, are your parents home?"
He shakes his head and climbs further under the table before speaking.
"You b-better go. My d-dad will be back soon, and he will h-hurt you for being here."
I make my way over the broken door and head towards Max. When I hear a car door slam, the little boy starts shaking. I know this isn't going to be pretty. I grab for Max and instruct him to hide under the sink.
“Whatever you do, Max, do not come out of this hiding spot for anything, no matter what you hear until I or the police come to get you. Do
you understand?”
With eyes so wide and terrified, he tells me, “Y-yes.”
I back away from Max while reaching for my phone to call 911. Before I can hit send, the phone is taken forcefully from my hands.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing in my house, bitch? Where's my son?"
I can tell he is drunk; he is slurring and smells like a distillery. Now I am shaking, but I try to steal my nerve.
"I'm s-sorry, the police were called, they just took him into town. I was waiting here to explain everything. I'm sorry for the intrusion. I'll just be on my way now."
I'm pushed hard into a wall.
"You're not going anywhere, you filthy whore."
I see the blade of a knife as he walks towards me. Then I feel the first cut, not deep enough to kill, just enough to cause pain. I get a blow to the head next, and instantly everything goes black.
I sit upright covered in sweat. I must have fallen asleep. I’m not sure what wakes me as I can rarely wake myself from those nightmares. When I search for my phone, it's 4:58 am. I know there will be no more sleep to be had, so I get myself up and make some coffee. I might as well start my day off watching the sunrise over the ocean. It is my favorite way to start the day anyway.
Dex
Chapter 6
It has been three days since Lanie Heart was here, and two since I got the report on her from Ryan. No wonder she didn’t want to talk about it. After reading her file, I ran to the bathroom and was sick for a full hour. She’s stronger than she realizes.
I think back to our interview. That was the craziest interview I have ever conducted in my entire fucking life. I can’t help but remember how she jumped in between my daughters and me, protecting them. I would never hurt anyone, but she didn’t know that.
She is not a small woman. I outweigh her by at least fifty pounds, and she stood between perceived danger and my girls. I didn't understand why she seemed so ready to run when I raised my voice. After, I read in Ryan’s file that she protected Max by enduring the abuse of her attacker, doing so in complete silence so she wouldn’t scare the child. All because she wanted him to stay hidden.
Cross My Heart: A Waverley-Cay Novel Page 4