I’m not sure what upset her. Was it me promising to protect her? Was it Tate, so wise beyond his years that threw her off? Maybe it was our argument last night about Anna.
"Listen, Dex, I just can't. I can't go to the police station, please don't make me. I'll be more prepared if she comes back. Please, can we just try to forget it happened?"
"Lanie, you cannot be serious? She assaulted you. Who knows what she would have done to Tate."
"Nothing would have happened to Tate, I meant what I said. I will always protect those I care about."
"But don't you see, Lanie? That's exactly what I'm trying to do."
It went on like that for an hour, and we still didn't come to a conclusion we agreed upon. She looked exhausted. After a while, I told her I would figure out what to do with Anna and sent her to bed to rest.
Whatever it was, Lanie seems to have swept it under the rug today. When I came down this morning, she was dancing around with a giggling Tate while making breakfast. She is so fucking adorable.
I interrupt only briefly to tell her I have a little work to do, and I’ll be in my office. She nods in understanding without making eye contact. Hmm, maybe it’s not all back to normal, but we’ll get there as soon as I come up with a plan.
Two weeks later, I was up half the night making lists. On paper…like a pussy teenage girl, but whatever. Trevor is always making God-damn lists. He swears by it. The first list I made was for Anna and how I am going to handle this situation, that didn't take long to complete. I know I can trust Loki and Ryan on this.
The list for Lanie was a lot more work-intensive. I’ve made a list of everything I know is essential to her: the McDowell’s, Julia, Vermont—for whatever reason, North Carolina, family, kids, loyalty, honesty. The things she doesn’t seem impressed by—money. It took three hours and a plethora of safety features for her to agree to drive the damn SUV I bought explicitly for carting around my kids. She is also apparently not a fan of fancy, always preferring her t-shirt and jeans. I have to admit, I love that about her.
I realize there is so much I have to learn about her. I know, without a doubt, the answer to all my twelve-year-old self’s questions is yes. The past two weeks we have spent every night talking after the kids go to bed. More than once, she has fallen asleep, and I’ll carry her to bed. Not that it’s a hardship, having her so close to me feels right.
So, what the hell am I going to do? How am I going to get her to agree to at least try a relationship with me?
I stare at my list while listening to Lanie laugh and play with my kids. I want her here. Hell, I probably even need her here, so how do I figure out my next moves?
Then it hits me.
All my answers are in Vermont. I rush from my desk so quickly, I almost forget to put my Lanie list away. I quickly tuck it into my back pocket, along with the letter I wrote to Trevor. Not that I think she would ever snoop, but the last thing I need is one of the guys to fucking find it. They would never let me live it down.
I run up the stairs to my room and call Trevor.
“So, you’re finally headed to Vermont or what?” He asks, answering his phone.
I’m struck dumb. “What? How? Seriously, Trev, are you watching the video feeds at my house?”
He laughs. “No, you dumb ass. It would be the only logical answer if you decided you want Lanie in your life long-term. You have to go to her source and make some allies. She isn’t going to give in easily, not with her background. I take it that is why you’re calling, right?”
I sigh, “Yeah, I can’t tell her though, she will freak out. I’ll tell her when the time is right.”
“Okay, so what do you need?” Trevor asks, getting right to the point.
“Addresses, the McDowell’s, Julia McDowell, anything I need to know about the town, I’m going to try and get a flight out tonight, so I need it soon,” I tell him.
Trevor laughs at me but comes through like I knew he would. “Consider it done, you’ll have a file in Dropbox by 5.”
I thank him, book a flight and then head down to talk to Lanie and Tate.
Ten hours later, I am crammed into the smallest plane I have ever been on. They say it’s because the airport in Burlington, VT, is small. I’m coming to realize I have no idea what I am in for. Molly rented me a car because, apparently, her little town is an hour and forty-five minutes north-east of Burlington. Jesus, it has to be up near Canada.
She also got me the best hotel she could find but warned me not to get my hopes up, it would not be up to my standards. Then she laughed, which made me seriously reconsider my plan. If Trevor hadn’t been on board with it, I might have turned around. I can handle a small motel for two nights, right? I give myself a pep talk the entire flight.
When we land, I realize it actually is a small airport, smaller than even some of the tiniest Caribbean islands I’ve been to. I wander around, searching for the rental car place. It takes me fifteen minutes to even find another person.
“Excuse me. Do you work here?” I ask. “I’m looking for the rental car window and can’t seem to find it.”
The older man laughs. “You have to go outside, take two rights, then enter next to the deer head. You better hurry, though. They are closing soon.”
Is he serious? I glance at my watch, it's 7 pm. I realize he is, in fact, telling the truth.
“Thank you,” I tell him, taking off at a jog in the direction he sent me.
Almost an hour later, I’m on my way. They talk about the south being slow, holy hell.
By the time I pull into the motel, it's almost ten. I put the car in park and look out over the steering wheel. Molly cannot be serious. I pull up her name and press dial, she answers on the second ring.
“You are joking, right? This can’t be where I’m supposed to stay?” I tell her, slightly annoyed after my long day.
“Mr. Cross, I told you, things are different up there. You knew Lanie grew up in a very poor and rural area. All the ski lodges were full at the mountain, this was the best I could do. There aren’t even any VRBOs available up there this time of year. I’m sorry, Mr. Cross, that’s what you get.”
I’m about to say something when I realize she hung up on me. Damn it, maybe Lanie is rubbing off on her. The thought, although it should piss me off, makes me smile.
I get out of the car, grab my bag, and head to the front door. I open it and take one tentative step inside, pausing to look around.
“Well, sonny, get your ass in here and close the door before you go freezin’ us all out.” I move quickly to shut the door behind me to find a woman who has to be ninety sitting behind the counter with a Miss Rosa name tag.
“Um, hi. I’m Dexter Cross, I’m...checking in.” I look around a bit before returning my eyes to Rosa. She has a mischievous gleam in her eye.
“First time to Burke Mountain, is it, son?”
“Yes, ma’am, it is,”
“And I’m a guessin’ it was planned last minute?” She asks, not even trying to suppress her snark.
“Yes, Ma’am,” I answer again.
Then she cackles, actually cackles. “I just a knew it. You suits are all the same. End up here when you don’t plan well enough. I know it ain’t much, sonny, but I can promise you a clean room and a comfy bed. There are only two other guests right now.” She pauses, tapping her chin. “I reckon you can have breakfast just about any time you feel like it.”
I’m an asshole.
“Thank you, Ma’am. It’s my first time in Vermont,” I tell her. “I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I’m here to surprise some people, I want to talk to them about a mutual friend.”
“Well now, is that right? Who you hopin’ to sneak up on? I can probably help, GPS don’t work for most folks out this way,” Miss Rosa informs me with a devilish smile.
I think about it for a minute and figure it’s too late for her to ruin any surprises, and she does genuinely seem interested, so I find myself talking. “I’m here to see the McDowell f
amily, do you know them?”
“Sonny, I’ve been livin’ here my whole dang life, I know everyone and everything. If you’re here to see Maxine and Pete, you’re either Julia’s long-lost baby daddy or you’re here about our sweet girl, Lanie, so which is it, huh? You the shit baby daddy or someone else wantin’ something from our Lanie?” she asks through narrowed eyes.
“Ah, no, ma’am. I do have three kids, and while their mom is not around, she is accounted for,” I stammer.
“So, it ain’t Julia, bless her heart, such a sweet girl and that Charlie of hers, such a little looker that one. What is it you want with our Lanie?” Miss Rosa asks, even more mistrusting than before. “Our Lanie-girl has been through quite a time lately, you know. She don’t need no more heartbreak. The only good thing that ever happened to that girl was the McDowell’s. If you’re here to cause trouble, you should know no one in this town will think twice about shootin’ your ass.”
Startled, I cough. She is dead serious. “No, Ma’am. No trouble. She is living with me right now, she’s my children’s nanny. I just want to get to know the people she cares about so I can make her more comfortable with us.”
“Mm-hm. You like that girl. No use in denyin’ it, I can see it all over your face,” she states as if it’s the law. “Maxine will too. Now, off you go. When you git to your room, you think on if you’re willin’ to put in the work before you go see those good folks. Our Lanie has had a rough life. I can tell you she is going to need some convincin’ if you want her to love ya. Knowing her, she already cares and probably loves your kids, but lovin’ you? That’s going to take hard work, so don’t go after her if you ain’t cut out for it. Now git.” She shoo’s me away like a fly, and I feel the same way I did the first time I met Lanie.
What the fuck just happened?
The next morning when I stopped to get coffee, I finally realized just how small of a town this is. I pull up to the Dunkin’ Donuts and walk inside. Within minutes, I’m surrounded.
“So, you’re Dexter, huh?” The girl behind the counter asks.
“I thought he would be smaller, more like a pencil pusher,” says an old man sitting by the door.
“He’s got some balls coming here unannounced,” comes from a guy about my age. He definitely works with his hands, I notice. I wonder what he does? I’m so far out of my element here.
I put my hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry,” I say, turning to the young guy first, “How did you know who I was?”
Everyone laughs.
“Man, this town is as small as it gets. By 11:30 last night, you were on the town group chat. You’re here to get some info from the McDowell’s. I have to tell ya, Julia is not going to be impressed with you going behind Lanie’s back.”
Shit, I hadn’t thought of it that way.
“Listen, I just want to get to know the people that matter to Lanie. I really like her and want her to stay and feel comfortable with my kids and me.” I can’t believe I am explaining myself to strangers. “We all feel like she is family in the short time she’s been there. I didn’t realize this would seem like a betrayal.”
A small boney hand lands on mine, and I turn to my side. Miss Rosa. Of freaking course.
“Hi, Miss Rosa. I guess I have you to thank for this welcome party?”
She has the grace to look chagrined for a moment before answering. “Sonny, we all just want what’s best for our Lanie, after everything that’s happened to her and all. We are, well...we are very protective of her, but if you explain to Maxine what you did to me, you will be just fine. Julia, ah, she is smart as they come, socially a little off that one, but my money is on you. If anyone can win her over, you can. Good luck. Now all you skit, let the man be to go about his business, he has his work cut out for him.”
Loosening the collar of my shirt, I headed back to my rental with the directions Miss Rosa slipped under my door sometime last night. I study them skeptically and decide to use my GPS as well but soon realize Miss Rosa was on to something.
Following the hand-written directions, I turn left at my third cow farm, go half a mile and turn where the barbed wire ends. I’m thankful it's daylight because this is some children of the corn shit right here. Miss Rosa says the driveway is about two miles long, so I take my time on these two miles to pull myself together.
Here goes nothing.
Dex
Chapter 17
I round the bend in the driveway and pull up in front of an old but well-kept farmhouse. It has a wraparound porch, as you see in movies. Rocking chairs are lined along the exterior of the house as far as the porch goes. At the top of the stairs to the right of the doorway is an older man with a shotgun.
I swallow thickly. So he knew I was coming. I guess I should expect that with this town from now on.
I put the car in park and turned off the ignition. The man hasn’t moved but is watching me. I noticed he is dressed in a polo shirt, jeans, and work boots. A little bit city, a little bit country—fascinating. This has to be Mr. McDowell. I climb out of the SUV and hold my hand up in a wave.
He doesn’t say anything as I approach, but he does move the shotgun into his lap. I grew up in the south, everyone had guns but not once have I been to see about a girl and had one pulled on me. This is something new.
I land at the bottom of the steps before I speak. “Mr. McDowell, sir?” I ask in question.
“You must be this Dexter Cross that has my wife’s phone buzzing like a hive full of bees,” he answers.
“Yes, sir. I didn’t realize I would cause such a commotion coming here. I apologize for that. May I sit? I’d like to talk to you a bit.” I ask, suddenly feeling uneasy.
He doesn’t answer but nods and points to the rocking chair beside him with the shotgun. Jesus, I might pass out, this is harder than I thought…maybe I should have made a better plan. Tentatively, I climb the steps and take a seat.
“I take it you’re here about our Lanie? She isn’t in any trouble, is she? It doesn’t seem like something our girl would do, but luck never has been on her side,” he tells me.
“No, sir, she isn’t in any trouble, but now that I am here, I’m having a hard time finding the words to explain why I’m here,” I admit bluntly.
“Well, counselor, I suggest you approach it like you would a case in court. I know you weren’t in trials often, but surely you had practice in law school,” he answers, letting me know he is on to me.
I can’t help but smile at that. A lawyer through and through. “I see you did your research, sir.”
“Always. Don’t you?” He smirks.
I grin again. “Yes, sir, that’s part of the reason I’m here. And while I would love nothing more than to present a case in front of you, Lanie deserves more than that, so if you don’t mind, I’m just going to lay it all out there.”
“Good answer, Dex, good answer.” He smiles and waits for me to proceed.
“You see, I think Lanie is amazing. I have from the first moment she walked into my house like she owned the place. She closed my mouth when my jaw hit the floor from something she said twice.” I can’t help the smirk that comes over my face, and Mr. McDowell chuckles.
“I take it that doesn’t happen very often to you these days, does it, young man?” he replies.
“No, sir, it does not,” I answer truthfully. “But here’s the thing, she came into my home, cuddled my daughters who I never thought would stop crying. She got my son to speak when he hasn’t since his mother left almost a year ago. She has me smiling even when I think I might be losing my mind. I know it hasn’t been long at all, but I think I could fall for her.”
“You think, or you know? Those are two very different things, young man. With Lanie, you have to know.” He peers down for a moment then back up at me. “Her story is not mine to tell, but I will say, if you want something with her, you have to be all in.”
I sit in silence for a moment remembering Trevor had said the same exact thing.
“W
ell, sir, there is another issue. I know all about her past. How her mother’s boyfriend put her in the hospital when she was ten, the years of neglect and abuse she suffered. I even know about what Zachary did to her and how tough her recovery has been.”
He looks shocked, possibly mad, so I quickly continue.
“Please understand, I didn’t do it to go behind her back, I was hiring her to take care of my children. With an eighteen-month gap in her work history, I had to dig into her a little. Now that I know her, I hate that I broke her trust that way, but my children have been through so much I had to do more than due diligence,” I plead my case.
Mr. McDowell stares at me for a long moment then bows his head and sighs. “I probably would have done the same thing. In fact, when she told us she was going to work and live with you, I may have done some digging of my own. She may not be my blood, but she is my daughter. Tell me, son. What did you hope to get from coming all the way up here?”
“Honestly? I think some advice,” I tell him. “She is going to hate what I know when she finds out. I do plan on telling her when the time is right. I could probably use some advice on how to go about that.” I smile at him. “Also, maybe some allies when she turns me down again and again because I know getting her to trust me as anything more than a boss, even as a friend, is going to be an uphill battle. Getting her to give me a chance, or at least admit she wants to, is going to be even harder.”
“She hasn’t been in North Carolina long, how are you so sure this is what you want?” He interjects.
I stand and take the old worn envelope out of my back pocket and hand it to him. “I wrote this when I was 12. Somewhere along the way, I lost that part of me when I started dating my ex-wife in high school,” I say. “Then, Lanie came into my life and cracked my battered heart wide open. I can honestly answer yes to every one of those now.”
Cross My Heart: A Waverley-Cay Novel Page 12