He drags his lower lip between his teeth, and my eyes latch onto the movement greedily. I blink my eyes, forcing myself to focus. Devin’s ability to turn my brain to goo hasn’t dissipated in the slightest.
“Promise you won’t freak.”
I pin him with a stern look. “You know me better than that.”
He sighs, dragging a hand through his silky hair. “I go to school here too and … I looked you up the minute I arrived. I know where you live, and I probably know your schedule better than you know it yourself.”
My mouth falls open, and my heart rate speeds up. That sounds more than a little stalkerish. “Since when?”
“Since the start of the semester.”
My spine stiffens. “What? You’ve been here this whole time and you waited almost three months before approaching me?”
“I had good reason.”
“Like what?” I bark. Anger is simmering in my veins.
“I wanted you to settle in without my interference. I didn’t want to hold you back.”
Steam practically billows out of my ears. “What a stinking pile of crap! How dare you presume to know what I did or didn’t need.” I slam my hand against his chest, disgusted when tears sting my eyes. “I’ve been to hell and back worrying about you!” I scream. “I’ve texted you hundreds, hell, probably thousands of times, and you didn’t even once text me back.” My chest heaves up and down. “I haven’t seen you for over seven months. Seven fucking months, Dev! And for some of that time you’ve been here? Screw you! Fucking asshole!” My blood boils as months of pent-up frustration and longing find an outlet. I’m out of the car before he’s had time to blink. I’m mad as all hell as I race toward the building. A bleep, bleep sound echoes behind me, but I don’t look back as I yank the door open and run inside.
I’m breathless by the time I reach our apartment. Slamming the door behind me, I sag on the floor, absolutely fuming. I can’t believe he’s been here this whole time and I’m only now finding out about it. Funny thing is, for ages I felt like I was being watched, but I convinced myself I was paranoid. Now, I’m wondering if I was right all along—has Devin been watching me all this time?
He raps loudly on the door. “Ange, please. Let me in and I’ll explain everything.”
“Go away!” I roar. “I’m too fucking mad right now.”
“I’m not leaving.”
“Then I hope you like the cold floor.”
I stomp to our shared bedroom, viciously slamming the door shut behind me. Peeling the dress off my body, I replace it with sleep shorts and a tank top. I lie on my side on the bed, clutching the framed picture to my chest while all manner of conflicting emotions skitters around my brain.
After a while, my anger has faded, and I’ve calmed down. I’m still pissed at him for making decisions that concern me without consulting me, but I don’t want to lose sight of what’s important—he’s here, and he has answers to questions that have long since puzzled me.
I get up and pad to the door. Opening it, I peer into the quiet hallway. Dev is sitting on the ground with his knees tucked in close to his chest, his back flat against the wall. He knows my temper tantrums are usually short-lived, and I was banking on him still being here. He looks up, his gaze scrutinizing mine. “You can come in now,” I confirm in a meek voice.
He climbs to his feet, following me in to the apartment. Handing me the brown paper bag, he looks sheepish. “It’s probably stone cold by now.”
“It wouldn’t be the first time we’ve chowed down on cold burgers,” I say, reminding him of the time we left our takeout bag on the sidewalk outside the diner where I worked. Dev only realized it when he’d pulled into his driveway. Despite Ayden’s protests, he’d turned the truck around and driven back for it. Starving, the three of us had happily munched on the cold food on the drive back home.
He chuckles. “I remember.”
I retrieve some plates and napkins, and we sit on the couch eating our burgers in silence. After I’ve cleared up, I snatch two cans of soda from the small refrigerator and flop onto the couch. I pass one to him. “I’m sorry for overreacting before you had a chance to properly explain.”
He kicks off his sneakers, pulling his feet up onto the couch. Twisting around, he leans back against the arm rest so he’s facing me. I mirror his position at the other end of the couch. “I don’t blame you for being angry, and, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry for leaving without saying goodbye, for cutting off all contact, and for hiding my presence here for so long, but I had good reasons for doing what I’ve done.”
“I’m listening.”
He blows air out of his mouth. “I’ve planned this conversation so many times, but I’m still not sure where to start.”
I take pity on him. “Why did you leave?”
He wets his lips. “You know I wasn’t in a good place, hadn’t been for quite some time. After all that shit went down with Becky, and Da … Dad took off, I could barely keep everything together. I’d reached a point where I didn’t think I could go on. You and Ayden weren’t speaking to me, Cam was gone, Lucas was relying on me to hold our family together, and I just felt like crap inside. Then my uncle showed up and flipped my world upside down and I lost it.”
My brow puckers. “What does your uncle have to do with anything? I didn’t think you even knew him?”
“I didn’t. We didn’t. That’s the way Dad wanted it. The last time I’d seen him was when I was a little kid. He’d just set up his medical supplies business, and he used to drop by the house most every weekend. Lucas was only a baby the last time we saw him, so he doesn’t remember him, and it was a shock when he turned up one day a couple weeks before Dad left begging for our help. His youngest daughter was ill with leukemia, and he was desperate. She needed a bone marrow transplant, and none of them were a match. It was a long shot, but he wanted Dad, Luc, and me to be tested too.”
He closes his eyes momentarily. “I was a match, but the tests also revealed my uncle was actually my biological father.”
I jerk forward. “What the hell?” The disbelief carries in my tone.
He nods. “I’d no idea. Neither did he, but that asshole who raised me knew.” His eyes darken with anger. “It explained a few things. Dad had flown into a massive rage after my uncle showed up and he was worse than usual those couple weeks. That night when I picked you up after the party, when we got back to the house and Becky was waiting there, I knew he was ready to flip. I sent you home because I was afraid he’d hurt you.”
Our eyes meet. “But he hurt Becky instead.”
Dev nods. “Becky is a bitch, but she didn’t deserve that.”
I knot my hands in my lap. “Why did you go out with her, Dev? I still don’t understand it.”
He scoots forward, taking my hands in his. “She blackmailed me.” I tilt my chin up. “That Saturday when I showed up at your house, the day I gave you the drawing, I meant everything I said, but she turned up at the gas station that night while I was working my shift. She told me she was pregnant and that it was mine.” I gasp, withdrawing one of my hands and planting it over my mouth. “I didn’t believe her at first, but she had the pregnancy test, and it clearly showed a blue line. I was in complete shock, and I had no one to talk to about it. I knew there was a chance it was someone else’s, but she was adamant it was mine, and I couldn’t walk away. If that was my kid, I was going to be there for it.”
He doesn’t need to elaborate. I understand why he’d felt like that.
“She told me if I didn’t make things official between us that she’d abort the baby.” Torment saturates his eyes. “She also insisted I cut all ties with you. I discovered she planted one of the cheerleaders in the closet the night of the party, and she had explicit photos of me, of us together, and she was threatening to send them to you.”
A resurgence of hurt and jealousy batters
me on all sides.
He looks suitably embarrassed. “I had already hurt you so much, and I couldn’t let her do that.”
I shake my head in disgust, speaking over the rancid taste in my mouth. “She’s far nastier than I ever gave her credit for.”
“You’ve no idea.” He gulps. “She also threatened your mom’s job.”
“She what?” I shriek.
“Her dad manages the hospital where your mom works. She told me she’d have her fired if I had any more involvement with you.”
“That stupid fucking bitch.” I’m seething. “You should have told me this.” Based on what Mom has said in the past about Dr. Carmichael, there’s no way that would’ve happened. Becky manipulated him perfectly, knowing exactly which buttons to push.
“I couldn’t take the risk. Besides, you pretty much hated my guts, and with due cause.”
The usual pang prods my chest, like it always does whenever I think of the night I found Dev screwing Becky. As long as I live, I don’t think the hurt will ever go away. He leans in, caressing my cheek. “I wish I hadn’t gone to that party Thanksgiving night. If I wasn’t so wasted, I would never have slept with her, and none of this would’ve happened.”
My smile is sad. “We can’t change the past.”
He rests his hands on my shoulders. “No, but that doesn’t mean I can’t try to repair the damage, because I want to. I need you in my life, Ange. I can’t breathe without you.”
I’m not ready to confront that shit. Not until I have all the answers. “What happened to the baby?”
A muscle ticks in his jaw. “There was no baby. The bitch played me.” An embittered look is etched across his face. “Turns out, it was her older sister who was pregnant. Becky found the test in the trash, and she concocted the whole plan. We were in her room one night, and I noticed blood on the comforter. I freaked out, thinking something was wrong with the baby.”
“But it was only her period,” I surmise.
“Yeah. She couldn’t hide it from me any longer. She came clean, professing to love me. I actually think the crazy bitch thought I was in love with her and that I’d still want to be by her side even after her deception came to light.”
“She always was delusional.” I shake my head. “And crazy, especially when it came to you, but the whole thing is hard to believe.”
“I know.” He sighs. “The relief I felt is indescribable. I can’t tell you how fucking relieved I was to be free of her.”
“And you tried to tell me, but I wouldn’t listen.”
“I don’t blame you. You were only trying to protect yourself. I’ve hurt you a lot, Ange, and I have so many regrets. So many things I wish I could do differently.”
“We all do,” I whisper.
He cups my face. “But I’m here now, and I’m good, and I’m not going anywhere. And, if you’ll let me, I want to make it up to you. I want to prove that I’m worthy of a place in your life.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
“You’ve always been worthy of a place in my life, Dev. I’ve never felt like you haven’t.”
“I know, baby. That was all on me. I’ve never felt good enough for you, and, when things were spiraling out of control, the last thing I wanted was to take you down with me. But things are better now. Much better, and I want you back in my life if you’ll give me another chance.”
I decide to park that for the moment. “You still haven’t explained where you went or why you didn’t contact me.”
“Jim—that’s my real dad’s name—he wanted me and Luc to live with him. Luc’s actually his son too.”
My jaw slackens, and he chuckles. “Your face is a picture. We were shocked too. According to Jim, he and my mother had an affair for four years while she was married to my dad. Jim is Dad’s younger brother, but he’s nothing like him. He’s a very successful businessman and a real gentleman. They’re like night and day. Jim says he begged Mom to leave Dad for him, but she refused. He went on to marry someone else, and they had two daughters, but the marriage didn’t last. He doesn’t know how Dad found out about the affair or how he knew we weren’t his sons, but he said Mom called him one day, after years of no contact, crying and upset and saying she couldn’t stay with him any longer. Jim again offered to help, and she was going to take us with her to live with him in Ohio, but she failed to show up at the rendezvous point, and he presumed she’d changed her mind.”
Dropping his hands from my face, he looks away, breathing heavily. I reach out, entwining our fingers. “That was when she left?” I guess. He nods, still not looking at me. “Why didn’t she take you all with her?” He shrugs, finally lifting his head to look at me. The pain of her departure is still written all over his face. “I don’t know, and I guess we’ll never find out. When Jim found out she’d left without us, he was worried, so he started searching for her. He’s hired tons of different PIs over the years, but every lead is a dead end. I guess she doesn’t want to be found.”
“Did Cam know all this?”
He shakes his head. “He had no idea either, until Jim contacted him. By this time, Jim could see I needed help, so he fixed things with Cam. Luc didn’t want to leave school and his friends, and he was angry and frightened. He didn’t want to move to Ohio. I didn’t either, not at first. Even though you and Ayd weren’t speaking to me, I didn’t want to leave you behind. But Jim spent hours and hours talking to me. He listened to me, really listened to me, and I just got a good vibe off him, you know? Like I knew he was a decent guy. So, we talked some more and came up with some options. He made it immediately clear that he would look after us. He’s a very wealthy man, and he insisted that Luc and I would be treated equally. He’d set up college funds for his daughters and he straightaway set the same up for us.”
“Wow.”
“I know. We’ve gone from having nothing to having everything. It’s still a lot to take in.”
“That’s where the new car came from? And how you’re here?”
“Yeah. He also paid for my rehab.” I peer into his eyes, beseeching him to continue. “He got me into a private facility in Detroit. That’s why I left. That’s where I was up to summer break. I was able to complete my last few credits, and I graduated with my diploma. Then he tapped a few contacts and managed to get me in here. I owe him so much.”
“Oh my God, Devin, he sounds incredible, and I’m really happy you’ve turned things around.”
“He is, and I can’t wait for you to meet him. I’ve told him all about you.”
I pull at my lip, a shy blush creeping across my cheeks. “You have?”
He grins, leaning forward to kiss my forehead. “He wanted to know about my life. You and Ayd have been the biggest parts of it. Of course, I was going to tell him about you.”
“Oh.” It’s all I can think to say.
Moisture gleams in his eyes as he stares at me. He’s so close, and the urge to touch him hasn’t gone away. With Devin, I don’t think it ever will. His soul calls to mine in a way I can’t explain.
“You’ve no idea how much your texts meant to me during that time, Ange.” He grips my hand tighter. “I wanted to text you back, so badly, but I was only allowed my phone for one hour a week, and my counselor wanted me to cut all contact with the outside world to aid my recovery. I didn’t even speak to Jim, not until the end, when he came in for a few sessions.”
He presses his forehead to mine. “They had this really nice sunroom at the rear of the facility, and every Sunday when I was given my cell, I’d curl up on one of the couches and read through all your texts. To know you hadn’t forgotten me, that you were still thinking of me”—he lowers his voice—“that you loved me”—his voice cracks, and he reels me into his arms—“it meant everything to me, Ange. Everything.”
I wrap my arms around him, closing my eyes, and his musky, woodsy scent swirls around me, bringin
g so many happy memories to the forefront of my mind.
“I honestly don’t think I’d have gotten through it without that. Your words kept me going. They buffered me on dark days when I wanted to give up, but I wouldn’t. Not when I knew you were thinking of me. When I had hope you’d be here for me to come back to. I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m glad you’re here. That we’re both here. Right where we should be.”
I have so much I want to say, but the words are stuck in my throat. I’m overcome with emotion. I still can’t believe he’s here, and I’m not sure what exactly the future holds, but, for now, I want him to know he’s important to me. I pull the locket out from under my top, running my fingers over it. “I never take it off.” His eyes brim with emotion. “And I could never forget you, Devin. No matter what, you’ll always be a part of me.”
Devin left shortly after that. I think he was as emotionally drained as me. There’s still so much we need to talk about, but as I drift off to sleep, I can’t keep the gleeful smile off my face. One of my best friends is back in my life, and I’m unbelievably happy.
Mariah jumps on my bed bright and early the next morning. “Ugh, go away, you’re far too exuberant for this time of the morning.” I bury my head under the pillow, hoping she’ll take the hint.
A breeze wafts over my head as she whips the pillow off me. Guess that’d be a no.
“No can do. I’ve been bouncing around Cody’s apartment all night dying to know what’s going on with Devin. My boyfriend actually threw me out. Can you believe that?” I hear the mock pout in her tone. “He said I was giving him ear ache.” She laughs, bending down to hug me. “Come on, baby doll, sharing is caring.”
I brush knotty strands of hair off my face, yawning as I pull myself upright in the bed. She sits beside me, leaning her head on my shoulder as I tell her everything. She oohs and aahs in all the right places, emitting a string of expletives when I get to the Becky part of the story. “I knew it!” she shrieks. “I flippin’ knew that slut had something on him.”
Inseparable Page 22