Christmas In Montana (Treasures of The Rockies)

by Eason, Mary

  Last night had been one of the longest he could remember with the exception of the night she left. When sleep proved to be impossible and the need to drink almost drove him to break a vow to himself, he’d called Vic, woke him from sleep, and had him yank Cara’s SUV out of Cartwright Creek. Then he’d called Aiden and asked for help.

  “Sorry. You can use the jeep or my truck – whatever you want. Anyway, I got the rest of your things in my study. Most have some damage, but you can sort through them today and see what you want to keep. I have to take care of some things and meet with Aiden this morning. I’ll see that the power is turned on.”

  She swallowed hard. If he didn’t know, better he’d swear she was fighting back tears. “You don’t have to do that, Jase. I can take care of it.”

  “Yes, I do. I owe you as much.” Cara’s mouth hardened, and she quickly took a sip of coffee. She didn’t seem to like his answer. “With any luck, you’ll be able to move in tomorrow. Sorry, that’s the best I can do.”

  “That’s okay. That’s fine. Thank you,” she added into her cup.

  They were strangers again. Worse than strangers. Two people who’d once loved each other.

  He cleared his throat. “Make yourself at home. I’ll try and stay out of your hair as much as possible.”

  “Jase, you don’t have to—“

  He got to his feet, scraping the chair back behind him and killing whatever else, she might have considered saying.

  “I’d better get going. I need to check the fence at the back pasture before heading over to Maudie’s place. If you need me, I put my cell number over by the phone.”

  He left before he said or did something he’d regret. He grabbed his Stetson and jacket from the rack by the door and braced for the frigid wind. The ice had melted leaving muddy puddles of water everywhere. They were lucky the power was only out for a while. Most of the time, storms like the one last night took hours for the power company to solve the problems.

  Jase grabbed some tools from the barn, checked on the horses before heading for the truck. He’d promised Aiden he’d meet him over at Maudie’s place over an hour ago. Aiden would be thinking all sorts of things, none of them good, all of them deserved. However, Jase couldn’t just leave without seeing Cara. He was afraid if he didn’t talk to her, she’d disappear again. He didn’t think he could take that.

  The last thing he wanted was for Cara to move off the ranch and stay at the wreck of a place Maudie’s old house had become, but it sure beat having her stay at the local motel or, worse, going back to California to who knew where. He’d never find her again if that happened.

  Once he’d repaired the fence where the cows had gotten out yesterday, he backtracked to the road and headed toward Maudie’s place. He hadn’t been over to the house since a windstorm took the roof a few months back. As he pulled up next to Aiden’s truck, the dilapidated sight of Maudie’s little, white clapboard house put a lump in his throat. He owed her more than this. He should’ve fixed the roof before winter. No doubt the damage inside would be extensive.

  Aiden had his crew halfway through putting a temporary patch over the gaping hole when he spotted Jase and came over.

  “How bad is it?” Jase asked without any preliminary hello.

  “Pretty bad inside. Got some men cleaning up and doing what they can today. The power came on about a half-hour earlier. That helped. It was like working in a cave in there.” Aiden nodded toward the roof. “We’ll start the permanent fix next week. That’ll hold until then, barring any more destructive weather.”

  Jase felt Aiden’s steady gaze on him. He knew the questions. Aiden had been his sponsor for a while now.

  “No, I wasn’t drinking. Okay? You believe me?” He turned so he could face Aiden head on.

  Another thorough assessment had Aiden nodding. “Yep. You want to talk about it?”

  Aiden knew the whole story, every ugly detail. “Not really.” Talking was the last thing he wanted to do, knowing it was exactly what he needed. “Cara’s home. She still hates me. She wants to move in here.” Jase tossed him one of his wicked grins then went back to watching the men working.

  “And you’re okay with that?” Just like Aiden to cut through his bull and get to the heart of the hurt.

  “Nope,” Jase drew out the word in his best drawl. “But I don’t recall her asking and I don’t have a choice right now. I want her to stay. If that means fixing this old place up until I can convince her how I feel about her, then yeah, I guess I’m going to be okay with it.”

  “I see.” Aiden clearly pictured trouble ahead.

  Jase blew out an annoyed sigh. “What does that mean? People say that all the time, and I still don’t know what it means.”

  At least Aiden found that amusing. “It means, ‘I hear you, buddy, but I don’t believe you.’ Still, it’s a good thing you’re doing here, for Cara.”

  Jase arched a brow and squinted at his friend. “Yeah? Then why doesn’t it feel so good.”

  To that, Aiden had no answers. He shook his head. “You want a drink?”

  Jase knew lying wouldn’t help the matter. “About as much as I want my next breath.” He turned once more to Aiden. “But I haven’t and I won’t.”

  “There’s a meeting tonight. Are you coming?”

  Jase grimaced. With Cara waiting at home the only thing he wanted to do tonight was be there with her. What he wanted and needed were two different things. “Yes.”

  Aiden clamped a hand on Jase’ shoulder. “Good. I’ll see you there.” Aiden returned to his crew, and Jase figured enough stalling. He needed to take stock of the damage inside.

  Just as Aiden had said, the power was on. He’d made sure of it, although it cost him more than he had in his bank account to get the hook up paid along with the gas, water, and phone reconnected. It didn’t matter. He’d sell something to cover the difference or go to the attorney with hat in hand and beg for a draw off his trust. For her, he’d get the money.

  Having sat through a mild winter, it was still surprising how little actual damage there was to the place.

  The couch and chair directly beneath the hole had taken the brunt of the elements. He’d haul them to the dump and move something from one of the other rooms in their place. Other than shooing out a family of coons and cleaning months of dust and rain damage, by the end of the day, the place was starting to look livable.

  Cara could move in by tomorrow morning for sure. She’d be thrilled to be out of the house and away from him, and that thought wasn’t anything close to pleasing.

  Chapter Four

  What exactly had Jase been doing here since she left? The place was a mess. It looked as if it hadn’t had a good cleaning in months. Where was Amanda? She’d been the Cartwright housekeeper for as long as Cara could remember.

  Cara glanced around the kitchen as bits of dust filtered through the hazy sunlight.

  Why was Jase living like this? In fact, why was he even still here in Cartwright? He’d been miserable here for as long as she could remember. Always wanting more. She’d thought he would be thousands of miles away by now, married to Rachel, and living the life he’d once dreamed of having. More importantly, why was he refusing to sign their divorce papers?

  She took her coffee cup over to the sink to rinse it. Stacks of dirty dishes greeted her. Jase promised to stay out of her hair today. She wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or bad. The one thing she did know was she couldn’t sit here all day and not go crazy thinking about the past.

  She grabbed the first dish and a scrub brush and started in. Two hours later, the kitchen was actually presentable again, but there was still no sighting of Jase. She’d been listening for his truck all morning.

  Cara moved from the kitchen to the living room, which wasn’t in much better shape. She’d worked her way through the downstairs rooms and had started on the second floor by early afternoon. Her body ached from the bruises she'd received in the accident, but the simple task of cleaning h
ouse had a therapeutic effect and she hadn’t wanted to cry in a while.

  Judging from the state of the rest of house, she guessed that Jase wasn’t as tidy she remembered.

  Most of the rooms upstairs were unused so the cleanup was minimal with the exception of the room Jase used.

  Cara opened the door and peeked inside. The bed looked as if it he hadn’t slept in it the night before. She tried to imagine him here, wondered why he’d abandoned the room they’d once shared and decided Jase could just clean his own room. The intimacy of place he occupied brought back a wealth of unwelcome memories. They’d spent their wedding night here. She’d been so nervous that first time. Unsure of herself. Of him. Jase had been patient and loving. Even now she could almost smell the scent of his skin. Feel the warmth of him next to her. They had shared so many tender times here together before her doubts had overshadowed those moments.

  She closed the door and went downstairs as the antique grandfather clock chimed five times. With still no appearance from Jase, Cara decided it was time to pacify her angry stomach. She hadn’t eaten since breakfast. She remembered seeing a couple of steaks in the freezer when she’d cleaned it.

  Cara retrieved them and dug out a frying pan. Before long, the savory scent of steak smothered with mushrooms, onions and brown gravy. One of the few dishes she could make without burning, filled the kitchen. She’d found a couple of potatoes in the panty and stuck them in the oven.

  She’d just popped in the rolls to brown when she heard the sound of a truck through the cracked kitchen window. She’d finally, finally begun to relax until the sputtering sound drifted into her fragile world and shattered her resolve.

  Jase was home.

  While she pretended to take unnecessary care watching the rolls bake, she could hear the labored sound of his footsteps first on the porch then the living room.

  “Cara.” Her heartbeat hit overdrive when he called out her name.

  She dropped the pan with the rolls on the stove. “In here.”

  He materialized in the doorway. “Something smells good.” She tried not to look at him, but it was impossible. Jase was like a magnet. A ghost of a smile played on the corners of his mouth.

  “Smothered steak. It’s ready. Are you hungry?” She was babbling and stopped.

  His expression grew serious. “Very. Do I have time for a quick shower first?”

  She nodded because the words just wouldn’t come out. The setting had turned a little too familiar. She remembered all the times past when she’d come home from work and made them dinner like this.

  He disappeared, and she exhaled again.

  Cara set the table, poured ice tea, and plated the meal, mostly to give her hands something to do other than tremble.

  When he returned, Jase was dressed in a brown western shirt and crisp jeans. His collar-length hair was still damp from the shower.

  “You didn’t have to do this, you know.” He cut a piece of the steak and tasted it with a sigh. “But I’m glad you did. This is great.”

  He seemed at ease. As if the baggage that stood between them was insignificant.

  She tried to pull off the same demeanor with a shrug, failing miserably. “I didn’t mind. It gave me something to do.”

  Jase put down his fork and glanced around the kitchen as if realizing the difference. “You cleaned the place. You definitely needed something to do.”

  At that typical Jase sarcasm, her hackles returned with an angry retort. “Yeah, well, it looked as if it’d been an eternity since the place had seen a broom. Where’s Amanda anyway?”

  Jase didn’t take the bait. He simply grinned at her anger, giving it further fuel. “Retired a few months back.”

  Cara took a bite of steak and digested this new information. Amanda had been with the family for a long time. She always talked about retiring someday when she was too old to work anymore. Perhaps move closer to her niece. “Is she still living in Cartwright?”

  His noncommittal response didn’t sit well. Had Jase finally driven away even Amanda? “She’s usually around somewhere. Unless she’s off visiting her niece.”

  Jase went back to cutting his steak, but she suspected he wasn’t as comfortable with the subject as he’d like her to believe. There was something seriously wrong here. Cara wasn’t sure she wanted to know what it was.

  “What happened in the living room door, Jase?”

  Even though it was a few minutes, it seemed like an hour before he finally set down his fork, looked her in the eye, and issued the challenge. “You really want to know?”

  She did. She didn’t. Torn between those two paths, Jase took the matter out of her hands. He got to his feet and carried his plate over to the sink.

  “I’ve got to run. I have...plans tonight. Thanks for dinner. I’ll see you in the morning, okay? I can help you settle in at Maudie’s whenever you’re ready.” He left without so much as another word of explanation, and Cara’s imagination went rampant.

  Rachel.

  She still sat at the table, her once delicious meal grown cold, when the dark shadows of night settled in over the ranch and a crisp fall breeze whipped through the open window. She got to her feet and cleared away the remainder of the food. He’d been gone just over an hour, and yet the image of Jase with Rachel had ingrained itself in her memory for years. Since she’d first visited her aunt as a child and fell in love with Montana and Jase.

  Back then, Jase belonged completely to Rachel. They’d grown up together and had dated throughout most of their high school years. When Cara had discovered the real reason why Jase married her, it had been the final blow to their already strained marriage. Her aunt told her you could fix almost anything in a marriage if you tried hard. Her aunt had been wrong. She couldn’t make her husband pick her over the bottle or fall in love with her with his heart belonged to another woman.

  Chapter Five

  “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...”

  As he stood next to Aiden, Jase recited the familiar words by memory. Tonight his heart wasn’t in it even if his head told him this was just the place he needed to be.

  For a moment tonight, it was like going back in time. This could have been any regular night for them before that last one.

  “You sure you’re okay, bud?” Aiden asked.

  Jase roused himself from the memories in time to catch the concern on Aiden’s face. “Hmm? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just a busy day.”

  “Did you want to drink today?” Aiden’s usual question had Jase swallowing back resentment. Every day that went by without her, he wanted to drink. Today, yesterday, well the thought of losing her for good increased the desire ten times over.

  “Do I really need to answer that one?” Jase's attempted humor went wasted on Aiden. “Yes, I wanted to drink today. Yesterday. Just like every other day, but I didn’t. Doesn’t that count for something? It’s been almost six months. That’s a record for me.”

  “If this were a race, I’d give you a medal. It’s not. It’s a daily struggle. It’s your life, Jase.”

  Aiden meant well, and he’d saved Jase’s hide a dozen times over in the past few years, but still, sometimes he got sick and tired of hearing about the “struggle” as Aiden put it. He just wanted to deal with it.

  “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just seeing Cara again.”

  Some of the concern eased from around Aiden’s eyes. “Want to go have coffee and talk about it?”

  “What about Fran? Won’t she mind? Especially with the new baby.”

  Fran and Aiden had become new parents of a beautiful baby girl two months back. Emma was the light of their lives and well on her way to being spoiled, but her sleep schedule had gotten off course recently. She ended up sleeping most days, keeping her parents awake at night. Aiden told him they tried to split the late night shifts, but since Fran hadn’t gone back to work at the school, she usually let Aiden sleep in while she tended to Emma’s needs.

  Jase figured he
’d caused Fran enough grief in the past. Truth be known, when he and Aiden were drinking buddies throughout high school and beyond, well, he’d caused Fran a whole lot more worry than he’d ever be able to make up for. She’d told him countless times she’d forgiven him, yet he felt a chill in her that hadn’t been there in their younger years.

  “Fran won’t mind. She understands, and whether you believe it or not, she has forgiven you. She just doesn’t trust you. I barely got her to trust me. Give it time. She’ll come around for you as well.”

  Jase smiled at his friend’s compassion. Fran was Aiden’s perfect match. Gentle and sweet most times, she could stand her own against any tough cowboy in Montana. She certainly had against Aiden and Jase enough times.

  “In that case, coffee would be great. And I could use someone to listen.”

  The only place still open in town was the Dairy Freeze. Jase parked the truck out front, climbed out, and watched Aiden do the same.

  “Least it’s not busy. Guess it’s a little too early for the bar crowd.” Aiden’s statement wasn’t lost on Jase. Six month earlier, he’d been one of the bar crowd. A few years earlier, Aiden would have been right there with him.

  They ordered their coffee and found a quiet booth. A couple of old-timers glanced up from sipping their coffee, recognized Jase and Aiden, and spoke their hellos.

  Those two old guys had been friends since forever. They had to be in their eighties by now.

  Jase grinned over at Aiden. “Guess that’ll be us in a few years’ time.”

  “Yeah, and I’ll be the one without the hair.” Aiden took off his hat and rubbed his thinning, red hair, waiting for Jase. When Jase could even think where to begin, Aiden did his part. “How’s it feel having her back in Montana?”

  Jase nodded. That was as good a place to start pouring out his heart. “Like a gift. If I believed everything in that Bible of yours and Maudie’s, I’d almost swear this was God’s way of trying to get my attention.”

  Aiden ignored the last part. They’d been all over God’s love a thousand times since Aiden joined the church. It wasn’t as if Jase didn’t believe what Aiden had told him. After all, everything Aiden said served to reiterate what Maudie had been telling him for years. He just needed time. He was a man who took his time in making major decisions. Well, most of them. Marrying Cara had been a whole other story.