by Eason, Mary
Lucy dragged over another stool and patted Cara’s hand. “You know how people talk sometimes in small towns. You’d think they’d have better things to do. I remember when Bob and I first moved here. People thought Bob was part of the mob.”
Cara had met Bob Anderson a handful of times when he stopped by the store. The only thing about him that resembled a mobster was his dark hair and maybe New York accent. “I know people talk. Just tell me. Heaven knows I’ll never hear it from Jase.”
“Alright, but just remember the truth is somewhere between what people say and what they don’t.” Lucy drew in a breath. “There was an accident a couple of months back. Jase’s truck ran off the road and hit a bridge embankment. He was hurt pretty bad. He was in the hospital for several weeks. They had to repair his right leg. For a while, they thought he might lose it.”
Cara closed her eyes. “Oh, no. Jase. I guessed something bad had happened.” She glanced over to Lucy and knew the worst was yet to come. “There’s more, isn’t there? What else? What haven’t you told me?”
Lucy hesitated. “There were rumors of alcohol being involved. The EMT who responded to the scene said Jase was intoxicated.” Cara’s hand flew to her mouth. “There were never any charges filed. He was lucky. The Cartwright name still carries a lot of clout around these parts.”
In the past, Cara had seen firsthand Jase’s reckless nature. It had been the deciding factor in her decision to leave, beyond his lies. He’d never deliberately risked his life or anyone else’s before. What had happened to drive him to that point?
She shook her head. “I didn’t know.”
Lucy remained quiet for another minute. “Cara, if you don’t mind me asking what happened between you two?”
She couldn’t begin to explain the betrayal she’d felt at learning Jase had married her for her aunt’s property. He’d never loved her for her. There’d been other reasons. Benefits.
“Our marriage was a mistake. I was naïve. Jase wasn’t ready for marriage. Neither was I. We shouldn’t have gotten married.”
“You still love him though.” Lucy had seen right through her act. Seen the pain and the hurt along with the love still there.
“It doesn’t really matter.”
“I think it does. If you love him and there’s a chance of working things out, then you shouldn’t give up. Marriage is sacred, Cara. God-blessed. Don’t give up on Jase so easily.”
If only it were that simple. “I’ll think about it,” she said mostly to change the subject.
Lucy’s attempt at a smile told her she’d guessed Cara wasn’t being truthful. “Good. Listen, I want to invite you to our church’s Thanksgiving bazaar. It’s this Sunday at the Wolf Creek Church. You should come. I’ve heard it’s always a lot of fun, and that there’s tons of food.”
Cara drew in a painful breath. The Wolf Creek Church was the same church Cara had attended right up until Maudie’s death. It was the church where she and Jase were married. They’d buried her aunt just beyond the churchyard in the adjoining cemetery. Was it just a coincidence that Lucy was inviting her back to the church of her youth? Or was God working in her life to bring her closer to Him? Somehow, Cara didn’t believe in coincidences.
Chapter Seven
Jase stopped the truck in front of Cara’s house and reached for the door handle. Before he had a chance to open it, Cara emerged from the house. She was dressed in a green sweater, matching skirt, and brown suede boots. Though still too thin, she looked pretty. Beautiful, in fact. Memories he’d tried hard to shut away resurfaced. First kisses. Holding her hand. Their wedding night.
She spotted him right away. He’d surprised her. He couldn’t tell if it was a happy surprise but he guessed not.
Jase struggled to recoup his thoughts as he got out of the truck and went over to her. It had been weeks since he’d seen her last. He knew she’d taken a job at Resale Dreams. He told himself he was giving her time to settle in. Truth was he was scared to death she’d tell him it was over, demand he sign the divorce papers, and then disappear from his life again. He didn’t think he could come back from that hurt if it happened.
“I stopped by to replace the kitchen window. I didn’t realize you were on your way out.”
Was it just his imagination or did she actually back away from him?
“My boss, Lucy Anderson invited me to the Thanksgiving Bazaar at her church today,” she explained. “I’m just heading over.”
“Wolf Creek?” He hadn’t attended services there since Cara left, but he did make meetings in the annex every week.
Something bordering on hurt was fleeting in her eyes. “That’s right.” Cara shifted uncomfortably then glanced at her watch. “I really should be going. If you’d like, I can unlock the house for you?”
They sounded like a couple of polite strangers. He nodded. “Sure. It shouldn’t take all that long.”
Jase went back to his truck to retrieve his tools then headed back to the house when he realized Cara hadn’t moved an inch. She seemed torn, toying with some decision.
“Did you forget your key again?” he grinned at her and squinted against the morning sunlight. His attempt to make her smile failed miserably.
She cleared her throat. “No, that is, well…I’m just wondering.” She stopped long enough to catch her breath and draw in another. “Jase, would you like to come with me?”
The question threw him so much that he was speechless for a moment. She was actually asking him to attend church with her? He half-wondered if he’d heard her correctly until he looked at her and realized he had. Her expression reminded him of all the times during their brief marriage when she’d invited him to go and he’d refused.
“You want me to go to church with you?”
The uncertainty on her face told him she was having second thoughts, but she replied, “Yes. I’d like it if you would.”
He glanced down at his jeans and long-sleeved blue pullover. The fact that she asked made him want to say yes. The fact that she glanced at her watch told him there wouldn’t be time to change. “I’d like to, but I’m not sure I’m really dressed for church.”
Cara did a quick assessment of his attire. When she looked at him again, she couldn’t quite meet his gaze and blushed prettily. “You’re fine. As I recall, most of the congregation don’t dress too formally. That is unless you really don’t want to come.”
The ache in her eyes made him want to do whatever it took to make her happy again. He’d done so much to wound her. There was so much to be sorry for, and he wanted to make her happy if he could. “No, that is, I’d really like to come. I can fix the window when we get back if that’s okay.”
He turned and headed for the truck before she changed her mind, then hesitated. “You want to take the Jeep instead?” They were so unsure of each other. He wondered if she felt it, too.
“No, the truck’s fine.”
While he debated on whether to open her door for her, Cara went around to the passenger side and climbed inside.
Problem solved. Jase got in and put the truck in gear. “You sure you won’t feel too…weird about this?” She tossed him one of those brow-knitted-together curious glances he remembered from the past. They always reminded him of someone studying an unknown specimen. “I mean, we’re still married and, well, I just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”
Cara focused on the passing scenery outside her window. “It’s fine. I invited you, Jase. I want you to come.”
She might want him to come, but the ride over to church couldn’t have been more uncomfortable. He couldn’t think of a single thing to say until they pulled into the only available parking space some distance from the front of the sanctuary.
He glanced up at the familiar building he walked past week after week on his way to the annex. “You sure about this?”
She turned in her seat and searched his face. He remembered that expression from the night of their engagement. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears. Sh
e appeared hopeful for the first time since she’d returned.
“I am. I’m very sure. I think this will be a good thing for us, Jase. We need God’s help to learn how to be friends again.”
He’d almost forgotten they’d been friends long before he lost his heart to her.
The last time he’d darkened the doors of the sanctuary it’d been at Maudie’s funeral. One of the worst days of his life. Second only to Cara’s leaving.
Jase hadn’t realized he’d stopped walking until Cara touched his arm. The thought of going back in there was about as appealing as taking a punch to his gut.
Still, he wanted to reassure her. “I’m okay. It’s just…”
“I know. I remember.”
He nodded then took her hand. She didn’t try to pull away. Maybe she needed support as well.
Please, let me be what she needs today.
Jase pulled the door open, and they stepped inside the hushed reverence of the sanctuary together. For a moment, he closed his eyes and let the familiar scent of the place wash over him. There was just something about the place that calmed his soul. Maybe it was the smell of old hymnals and well polished pews. The comforting Scripture inscribed on the altar. Or the reassurance that a soul could find forgiveness for anything here. He became aware of Cara watching him again and he shelved his ponderings for another time.
A quick glance around the place, and he spotted half a dozen familiar faces. Lucy Anderson was one of them. She nodded as if she’d been watching for them. More likely, she’d been watching for Cara. She wouldn’t be expecting him.
Coming toward them like a charging bull, a look of total disbelief plastered on his face, Aiden dragged Fran in his wake. Crazily, Jase found himself wondering if Fran actually trusted the women of the nursery enough to watch Emma for a bit. She was a mother bear when it came to her child. She barely let Jase near the babe.
Cara’s gaze followed his. Jase couldn’t even begin to hide his tension.
As he recalled, Maudie always sat up front and insisted they do the same on the few times he’d gone with them. Jase wanted to sit at the back seat section close to the door.
The smile on Cara’s face as she looked at him lodged his next breath in his throat. Maybe there was hope for them yet. She squeezed his hand. “I know. It feels kind of weird, doesn’t it?”
There was no time to answer. Aiden stopped in front of them with all the obvious questions in his eyes.
When Aiden could actually manage words he said, “Jase, this is a surprise.”
Fran nudged Aiden with her elbow. “A good one. Still, a surprise.” She reached past her husband and hugged Jase in her usual doubtful fashion. Then she turned to Cara. “It’s good to see you again. Would you two like to sit with us?”
Jase realized he’d taken Cara’s hand again as soon Fran had stopped hugging him, but Cara she didn’t seem to be in any hurry to let him go. As they headed down the crowded aisle to what Jase feared would be the front row, Lucy Anderson who hid her surprise terribly as well met them.
“Cara, I’m so glad you came.” She gave Cara a hug then focused on Jase. “And you too, Jase. You know my husband, Bob, don’t you?” She turned, slightly flustered, to the rail-thin man standing next to her.
Jase leaned over and shook Bob’s hand. “Yes. Good to see you again, Bob.”
Bob Anderson was the type of man who never met a stranger. “Well, hey there, buddy. Good to see you, too. Hey, you remember Pastor Thomas, don’t you?”
Jase hadn’t realized the man who’d wed him and Cara stood right next to him until he was enveloped in man’s arms.
Taken aback, Jase froze instinctively. While he’d known the pastor for a long time, it was their last meeting that stood out in his memory. Pastor Ray Thomas had been there at the hospital when Jase woke up after the accident that almost destroyed his leg.
“Jase, I’m so glad you came today. And Cara’s here, too. Well, God’s smiling down on us today.” For some reason, the pastor didn’t seem nearly as surprised to see them together as he let on.
Before Jase could think of a suitable response, the pianist began to play the opening hymn. “Uh oh, that’s my cue. We’ll talk more once the service is over. You’re both staying for the dinner, aren’t you?”
Jase glanced over at Cara who nodded. “Oh, good. Then we’ll catch up.” With a smile for Cara and a pat on the back for Jase, the pastor moved to the pulpit.
Aiden and Fran slid into the second pew from the front, and Jase and Cara followed. He knew his friend well enough to know there’d be a long call in his future.
It seemed to Jase that he had a lump in his throat throughout the entire service. He swallowed a dozen or more times, yet it just wouldn’t go away. It wasn’t so much the sermon because he could count on one hand the number of sermons he’d heard in this lifetime. No, it was being there with Cara again, surrounded by familiar faces that weren’t judgmental. A sense of being accepted, dirt, bad deeds, and all.
Chapter Eight
“Why as I live and breathe, Cara Cartwright, I have a bone to pick with you.” Stella Moore had been Aunt Maudie’s best friend most of their lives. The two had grown up in Cartwright, married local boys, and eventually outlived them both. Stella had been the organist for the church for going on fifty years.
“When did you get back in town and why haven’t you called me? I swear if Maudie were alive, she’d have some choice words for you.”
“Aunt Stella,” Cara managed once the plump older woman finally released her. “How are you?”
“Oh, no you don’t. You’re not getting off that easy.” She linked her arm through Cara’s and tossed her next words back over her shoulder. ”I’ll bring her back in a few, Jase. We have some catching up to do.”
Cara and Jase had just sat at one of the rows of tables positioned u-shape in the annex of the church. The meal line had been long and slow but promised to be worth the wait if the aromas wafting around the room were any indication.
Now Cara glanced back over her shoulder to see the tension in Jase ratchet up another notch. This wasn’t the way she wanted the day to go. She’d hoped to find a way to make peace with him. Work out some type of amenable relationship between them. After all, they were going to be living in the same town. They were practically neighbors and - oh, yeah - they were still married. They needed to figure out where to go from here.
If the look of determination on Stella’s usually smiling face were any indication, deciding that plan wouldn’t happen any time soon.
Stella led her back to the now-empty sanctuary. “Okay, child, now spill it. Where have you been for all this time? I’ve been going out of my mind trying to find you and you didn’t even call me once. Not one single time.”
The two sat on the front-row pew, and Stella stopped talking long enough to take a breath. She studied Cara carefully. “You look…you don’t look well, hon. Are you okay?”
Stella always could see right through her. Even as a child, Cara couldn’t put anything over on Stella.
“I’m sorry, Aunt Stella, you’re right. I should have called. It’s just that, well, it’s been a hard year, but I’m fine.”
Her stoic aunt didn’t believe her for a minute. “Don’t give me that. What about you and Jase? Are you two back together?”
The question wasn’t unexpected. She just didn’t have any idea how to answer it truthfully. “We’re not together.”
Stella let go of a doubtful snort. “You two sure seem together to me.”
“We’re not. Not really. I’m staying at Aunt Maudie’s house. Truth is, Aunt Stella, I’m not sure what we are. When I left, I filed for divorce.”
Stella went unusually quiet. Cara took the moment of silence to look at her. Stella’s pinched eyebrows and taught mouth told her the woman was deep in thought.
“I’m sorry. You must be disappointed in me.”
Stella glanced up, taken by surprise. “Oh, no, ma’am. I’ve never once been disappointed
in you, and nothing you could do now would disappoint me. But, child, you and Jase were always so much in love. Don’t you think that’s worth saving?”
If only it were true. Tears gathered in her eyes. She’d give anything not to have gone through the last few months without Jase, but love required both parties’ efforts.
“I don’t think so.”
To that, Stella seemed to have no words.
Cara got to her feet. “I should get back. I’ll stop by in a few days. We can catch up, I promise.” She leaned over and kissed Stella’s cheek then left her sitting there before the same altar where Cara and Jase promised to love each other through sickness and health.
Now they were both suffering through sickness. She with a piece of herself buried in Paradise and a broken heart in Montana – he with demons from his past. Could they ever hope to find healing amongst so much despair? Only God knew.
*****
Someone tapped his shoulder. Jase’s concentration was distracted from watching the door. He’d been doing it since Cara left. He’d made polite conversation with Fran when Aiden went to speak with one of the deacons. When Fran ran out of small talk, she excused herself to check on Emma.
“She’ll be back in a moment,” Pastor Ray took the vacated chair next to him. “Or maybe not. Come to think of it, she left with Stella Moore. It could take a while. This will give us time to talk.”
Talk. That was something Jase had gotten good at avoiding. Still, he was a captive audience. He couldn’t leave without Cara, so he might as well make the most of it.
He dug down deep and managed to come up with a smile. “Good sermon this morning, Pastor. I really liked the part about God being the God of second chances.” He’d heard Maudie say that same thing to him so many times he’d lost count. If only it were true.
Ray nodded at his obvious attempt at a compliment. “It really is good to see you here, Jase. I’m glad you came. Maudie never stopped talking about you. She was so happy you and Cara married. She told me she could go home to God in peace knowing you were there to take care of Cara. Said you were the best thing that could happen to Cara. And vice versa.”