The following Monday evening, Kate kissed Randy good-night, turned out the light beside his bed and went to her room. As she’d done weekly for the past four years, she took a photograph from its home beneath the lingerie in her dresser drawer, set it on her desk and began to write.
Dear Papa,
I wish you’d let me visit you, but since you won’t, please answer my letters. In all these many months, I’ve had no news of you, and I want so much to know that you’re well. Randy is growing like a wild weed, and thank goodness, he’s becoming more manageable and more loving. For that, I have to thank a man I’ve met, a wonderful man whom I love deeply. I wish you could meet him. My prayers are with you.
Your daughter, Kate.
She addressed it, sealed the envelope and stamped it. She wouldn’t know whether he received it, because he had forbidden her to put her return address on letters to him.
She thought back to her weekend with Luke, the joyous fulfillment she’d found with him and the blissful contentment that had begun then and still bloomed within her. With him, she’d been a whole woman, giving and taking, loving and receiving love. She wrapped her arms around herself, and kicked up her heels. He wanted her to be patient. Well, she’d be so patient she’d drive him crazy. He could erect as many fences as he pleased. They wouldn’t do him one bit of good. Case solved or not, he was hers, and she’d knock down any barrier he put up. He’d given himself to her when he splintered in her arms time and again those nights in Biddle. She would offer him the space he claimed to need, but she’d love him so much he wouldn’t use it.
Her thoughts sobered, and she rubbed her forehead, astonished by the memory of what she’d felt when he’d been hot and firm within her. Surely Luke knew she belonged to him for all time. Her father would love Luke, but she had little hope that they would meet.
As she got ready for bed, her musings shifted to incidents and happenings to which she’d given little attention while she looked forward to her weekend with Luke. For one thing, Jessye had become more receptive to Axel’s overtures, even seemed to encourage them. Knowing Jessye’s capacity for deviousness, apprehension pervaded her. When it came to men, Jessye didn’t countenance failure. The woman had an agenda, and Luke Hickson was its focal point.
By Friday of that week, she had become convinced that Jessye and Axel were in cahoots about something that wasn’t quite savory. Each afternoon that week, Axel had come to the store, supposedly to see Jessye. He had been pleasant to her, so that she couldn’t object to his presence.
“Here, let me grab that,” he said when a step stool on which she stood teetered toward him. “I must be good for something,” he jested. “Can’t get a woman to give me a second look.”
She thanked him, but ignored his comments.
“Maybe you oughta take lessons from some of these Romeos,” Jessye said. “A little extra sugah never hurt, honey.”
“Wouldn’t help. I cherish my women. No bumblebee stuff for me. Sweetheart, you’re not saying I need lessons, are you?”
Kate cocked an ear. What was going on with those two?
“Not me, lover. You da man.”
Kate moved to the other side of the store, out of earshot. That conversation was aimed at her. Jessye definitely hadn’t been in bed with Axel, because she wanted Luke, and she had sense enough not to give Axel ammunition with which to trap her. What a mess!
“Mom, look at this. Look, Mom,” Randy called as he charged into the store. In his excitement, the boy’s words tumbled over each other. “My group won the Altrusa award. It’s for helping other people. Captain Luke said he’s going to take us for an excursion on the Elizabeth River Ferry. He’s taking us to Norfolk, Mom.”
Her lips formed a large O as she gaped at her transformed son, speechless.
He jumped up and down, tugging at her arm. “Mom, did you hear me? The mayor’s even giving my group a medal.”
When they came to Portsmouth, she wouldn’t even have prayed for all that. She wiped the dampness from her cheeks, pulled him into her arms, and held him as tightly as she could. “Randy, I’m so happy.”
He kissed her cheek, and she had to fight back her tears.
“Why don’t you join the Boy Scouts?” Axel asked him. “That’s more appropriate. Policemen don’t have time to raise kids. We’re not a correction agency. We’re supposed to apprehend criminals.”
Randy gaped at Axel for a long minute, as if deciding whether and how to answer him. Finally, he walked away. Then he stopped.
“Maybe you’d rather put us in jail after we do something wrong.”
Kate decided not to upbraid Axel for his callousness toward Randy, because she understood that it was aimed at her. Besides, Randy’s reply had been to the point.
“I’m so proud of you, Randy,” she said.
Her son’s expression showed that he wanted to be certain of his ground. After looking at her for seconds, he said, “Does that mean you’ll take me and my group to see Tarzan? I mean, Mom, I’m the leader, and I have to treat.”
The little con man! In times like that, Nathan’s genes made themselves felt as Randy took advantage of every opening.
“We’ll see,” she said. “I’ll have to ask their parents.”
“I already did that. I got the notes right here.”
“You have the—”
“He’s gonna grow up to be just like his grandpa, a regular opportunist,” Jessye said. “Uncle Jethro always had an eye for a deal.”
Kate closed her mouth and told herself not to react, that the old Jessye was inching out of the closet. She’d deal with that when Randy wasn’t around. If she commented, Jessye would have the opening she wanted. Her silence would outwit the woman. She put an arm around Randy’s shoulder, took him to her office and closed the door.
“Talking about the wind stripping somebody’s sails,” she heard Axel say when she walked out of her office into the store. Like partners in crime plotting the perfect offense, they seemed aware only of each other, though she worked only ten feet away in the reference section.
“Now, you behave yourself, honey,” Jessye replied. “I don’t want to have to go to confession on account of you.”
His voice lowered and took on that sultry tone he used so skillfully. “Baby, if you go to confession on my account, I want it to be because you quit dodging me and accepted what I’m offering you.”
After a lengthy silence, she heard a note of exasperation in Jessye’s voice. “Honey, let’s not get into that again. You’re after Kate. Remember?”
Kate moved farther away, to the children’s book section where she couldn’t see them, but Axel’s voice followed her, its charm no longer evident. “And you’re after Hickson. Both of you are chasing that stud. I can’t figure what you see in him.”
“I don’t expect many men would. But you can relax, honey, because he is definitely not chasing me.”
Bitterness laced her words, and Kate cringed at her memories of Jessye on the prowl.
“The captain can be had, though,” Jessye said, as though reassuring herself. “I’ve never met one who couldn’t be.”
Axel’s very presence had begun to antagonize Kate, but she hurt for him, nevertheless. A man couldn’t help feeling emasculated listening to the woman he wanted tell him she desired another man. She wished they’d whisper or keep their conversations for times when they weren’t in the store. She didn’t want them to know she heard them. She had to work, and their voices reached her wherever she went.
“Why don’t you open your eyes, Jessye?” Axel said. “You’d rather pine for a man who’s looking in another direction than take a chance on one who can’t see anybody but you? I’m being straight with you, baby. I care for you.”
Kate couldn’t see her cousin’s face, but her voice didn’t convey a modicum of compassion. “Lover, you’ve wasted your share of sistahs. You said so yourself. And I’ve gone through a few brothas—not that they didn’t deserve it—but, honey, we’re all out her
e for number one. You’ll forget about me as soon as Kate stops running from you.”
“I wish I thought it.”
Kate walked to the cash register a few feet from where they stood and completed a transaction with a customer. Then she tapped the bell to alert them to her presence. From what she’d heard, she was certain that their individual agendas didn’t bode well for her, and their guilty faces when they glanced toward her strengthened her suspicion. But then, she’d swum in infested waters many times. That hadn’t destroyed her, and neither would they. She needed to have a talk with Jessye, though, because she’d hate to see her cousin self-destruct.
Kate got home that evening and stopped short. Her heart seemed to jump from her chest, and chills streaked through her body when she saw it.
“Mom! Mom! What’s that?” Randy wasn’t in the habit of running to her for refuge, and his young arms clutching her told her how frightened he was.
She remembered the cell phone Luke had given her the week before.
“Hello, Kate. What’s up?”
“How’d you know it was me?”
“Caller ID. What is it?”
She described the appearance of her front door and the walls beside it. “It’s awful, Luke. Frightening. Red paint sprayed to give the appearance of blood. Just looking at it makes my flesh crawl.”
“Where’s Cowan?”
“He walked with us to the lobby as usual, and left.”
“Don’t go in. I’m on my way there.”
She thanked him and considered leaving the apartment building, for fear the culprit might be hiding there. However, Madge rushed into the hallway, out of breath, as if in shock. She looked at the door and screamed.
“Captain Hickson just called me. Would you just look at that! It’ll cost a few hundred dollars to paint it over.” She wrung her hands, shaking her head from side to side. “Now who could have done such a thing?”
Kate didn’t think the question deserved an answer, but she told her she had no idea.
“Not a soul came in that door who didn’t live here.”
Kate nodded. She could believe that if Bugs Bunny wasn’t on TV. “What about delivery people?”
Madge waved her hand in dismissal. “Oh, them. I get five or ten of them every day. Why?”
Why, indeed? Well, she wasn’t a detective. That was Luke’s job. She was about to ask Madge if they could wait in her apartment when Luke walked into the hallway.
To her amazement, Randy left her and dashed to Luke, who immediately put an arm around the boy. “Don’t worry, son. We’ll get to the bottom of this.”
“But what about the door?” Madge asked him. “Who’s going to pay for it?”
Luke looked at the woman from the corner of his eye. “Call your insurance company, Mrs. Robinson. They’ll be glad to take care of it.” Holding Randy’s hand, he walked over to where she stood, marveling at her son’s restored calm. “Don’t worry about this. If you want me to, I’ll help you secure the place, including your garden. In fact, it’s necessary, and we can get it done tomorrow if you like.”
She noticed the care he took not to order her to do it, but sought her agreement, and she appreciated his sensitivity. As vulnerable as she was to him, she’d show him no mercy if he tried to order her around.
“Thanks, but I’ll call a security company tomorrow morning.”
He asked for her key. “All right. I think you’d better stay out here till I check the place out.”
When he came back, he handed her the key and leaned against the doorjamb. “How will you react to my posting someone out front? If that company you call strings sensors on top of the fence surrounding your garden, you won’t need more protection back there. But the front—”
“What about delivery men in disguise?” Kate asked him.
He shrugged his left shoulder. “Good point. I’ll place my man in the lobby where he can see your front door. Can you handle that?”
She nodded. “A few more weeks of this, and I’ll be paranoid.”
“I doubt that,” he said dryly. “I haven’t met many women with your strength. I’ll amend that to many people.”
“You gonna spend the night with us, Captain Luke, so nobody can get in the door?” Randy asked, his voice pitched high with anxiety.
Luke fastened his gaze on her as he spoke to Randy. “I’d give anything if that were possible, Randy. Anything. But I’ll have a man stationed here to make certain you’re all right.”
“You will? Gee! I sure am glad you’re our friend.”
Still looking at her, he said, “So am I. And, Randy, I wouldn’t tell Amy about this, because she’ll worry.”
“I guess I won’t, then.”
He closed the door, stepped close to her, and spoke in low tones. “It’s not smart, but I’m not leaving here until you kiss me.”
She glanced toward Randy. “No? In that case, I could keep you here indefinitely.”
His grin and flashing gray eyes nearly undid her. “Give me some credit, sweetheart. If I want a kiss, I know how to get it.”
She gazed at him through lowered lashes and then winked. “Careful, or you’ll soon need a bigger pair of pants.”
His grin broadened, and it occurred to her that he didn’t consider Randy a deterrent, but an ally. His left index finger circled the tip of her nose and then brushed her bottom lip. And then the teasing stopped as the hot blaze of desire darkened his gray eyes.
“Randy, I want to speak with your mother alone.”
“Yes, sir.” Seconds later his room door closed.
“Come here to me, baby.”
She didn’t know how she got there, but she knew once more the strength of his powerful arms as his tongue slipped into her mouth, and she held him. Live blazing fire shot to the seat of her desire, demanding the essence of him, stripping her of all pretense as her hot blood raced in her veins like molten lava gushing down a mountain. She clung to him for strength, for a sating of her passion, and for the love of him. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled his tongue into her mouth. More—she wanted, needed, more of him. More of his strength, his sweetness and his loving.
“Baby, hold on there. Good Lord, woman, in another minute, we’d…” He backed away. “Honey, I know I shouldn’t hold you to it, but you said you’d—”
She couldn’t help laughing. It wasn’t funny, but she had to laugh, anyway. “I should’ve added the condition that I’d be patient and mind my business if you did the same.”
He gathered her back into his arms. “I get your message. Kiss me good night.” Her arms went to his shoulders. “No. No. Just a little one. I can’t handle any more of your TNT right now.”
He touched her lips with his own, kissed her on the cheek, opened the door and left.
She opened Randy’s bedroom door. “Maybe you can come and visit me, Amy. I’ll ask your uncle. He’s my friend, so maybe he won’t say no. And I know my mom won’t mind. She’s real cool. I’ll call you day after tomorrow.”
Kate walked into the room as Randy hung up. “I think it would be a better idea if she spent a weekend with us on the island. She’d have a lot more fun.”
“Oh, that’s cool. I’ll ask her when we talk tomorrow.”
“How often do you call Amy?”
“I call her one day, and she calls me the next. She said that way her daddy’s bill is as big as yours.”
Kate hugged him, hoping and praying that he’d always be that straightforward and honest. But she knew well enough that innocence fled along with youth.
Two weeks later, she watched Randy strut proudly out of her apartment on a Sunday morning, resplendent in one of his group’s new PAL uniforms—a gift from Officer Jenkins. It was his first venture without her. A dull thud began its slow rhythm in her chest. She knew it was the beginning of his maturity, so she kept her eyes dry, kissed his cheek and let him go. As she straightened to her full height, she looked into Luke’s loving eyes.
“I’ll take care of him,
you know that. The boys will be talking about this outing for months.”
“It’s the first time he’s gone anywhere without me, and I’m so glad he’s with you.”
His gaze caressed her. “I’m taking them to dinner, too, so we probably won’t be back until around seven or so this evening.” He looked over his shoulder at Randy, who stood talking with the officer he’d posted near their door.
His gaze darkened, and his hunger sprang out to her as he wet his lips and stared into her eyes.
“Luke. Luke, you’d…you’d better…”
He swallowed the rest of her words in his mouth, as his marauding tongue claimed her. He stepped into her apartment and closed the door, all the while loving her mouth and claiming her body with his possessive hands.
“Luke. Luke, what will that officer think?”
“I don’t care what anybody thinks, Kate. I ache for you. I—”
“I’m glad, because I need you, too.”
He stared down at her for a long time, opened the door and walked out.
Nothing was going as he’d planned. He couldn’t seem to put the brakes on his feelings for Kate. Indeed, ever since their weekend in Biddle, his desire for her had threatened to spiral out of control. He couldn’t figure out how she could act so calm about it, when he knew she was boiling inside, too. He let Randy sit in the front seat, buckled their seat belts and headed for Waterside. With four seven- and eight-year-old boys to care for, he knew he’d better get his mind off Kate Middleton. But she wouldn’t release her hold on his mind. If he could just eliminate one or two main suspects, he’d…
The Middletons. Her in-laws. He didn’t believe they were involved. It would take some doing, but he was fairly certain that he could prove it. He’d get to work on that first thing Monday morning.
Kate didn’t believe that Luke wanted Jessye. She sympathized with her cousin, a woman who would never be happy, and would wreak havoc in the lives of those around her. She telephoned Jessye.
“Randy’s gone on an excursion with his group at PAL, Jessye, so why don’t we meet for brunch? Unless you’d rather do something else.”
Secret Desire Page 21