Scandalous

by Murray, Victoria Christopher

  He chuckled as if he didn't believe I had enough will power to really walk away from what he had laid on me. But he just didn't know. I was Jasmine Cox-about-to-be-Larson. I could walk away from him or anyone or anything. 'Cause I was the one who was always in control.

  I rolled off the bed and strutted to the dresser, not caring at all that I was butt-naked. My mind was already on the events that were going to go down over the next few hours. Glancing in the mirror, I twisted my head from side to side, taking in the damage I'd done from a night of hard sex and then sleeping without my silk scarf. My asymmetrical hair cut was matted flat against my head, making me look nothing like a bride. Kyla was gonna kill me, but that was fine. All she was gonna do was fuss and then fix me up. By noon, I'd be ready to walk down the aisle looking like the most beautiful blushing bride.

  The blushing part made me look beyond my reflection in the mirror and glance at Roman. He was still in the bed - with his elbow cocked, and his head resting in the palm of his hand--as if my goodbye speech had not moved him. Literally. He just stared at me, his eyes glazed with appreciation. As if I was a valuable piece of art, like a black Mona Lisa or something.

  “You know, you're one fine female.”

  I pivoted around so that Roman could get a full frontal view of all of my glory. Foxtails had been such a great breeding ground for my self-esteem. It was there that I learned the power of a woman. And it was moments like this when I felt almighty. Because without doing anything more than showing the body that had made me lots of money, I could bring a grown man to his knees. I could make a grown man cry. I could turn a grown man into a babbling, begging buffoon.

  “Yup,” he said, with eyes that were even more glassy now. “Fine.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I sure wish I could get another piece of that today.”

  Slowly, I strolled toward him. There wasn't much on my body that jiggled, but what was supposed to did. And Roman did what all men did when they saw me like this: he licked his lips and began to pant, and that meant the begging, babbling part wasn't very far away.

  But I was just teasing. He was never going to get another piece of me. All I was doing now was gifting him with a sight to remember me by.

  I stood over the bed and looked down at him. “Sorry, boo. No seconds here. This was just a one-time thing.”

  “Don't be so sure.”

  “Oh, I'm sure.”

  “Well what would you say if I told you that this isn't over until I said it was over?”

  This time, it was my eyebrows that rose high. Roman was still smiling, but that didn't mean a thing. Just as I was about to start cursing this man out, he chuckled.

  “I was just playing,” he said.

  It was my turn to stare at him, but I wasn't looking at him with the appreciation that had been in his eyes when he looked at me. I was trying to see inside his head. Please don't tell me that I had hooked up with a crazy!

  But as soon as I had that thought, Roman laughed. “I said, I was just playing. I knew what this was when I walked into this room with you yesterday. Just a one-time thing. I didn't even think that you'd let me stay the night, but I'm glad you did because I really did have a good time.”

  I wasn't sure if he was lying or not, but I kinda figured that those words deserved, if not a reward, a peace offering. If this guy was crazy, I didn't want to piss him off. I just wanted to get him out of here and make sure that we parted--at least in his mind--as friends.

  So, I leaned over and kissed him, letting my tongue say a slow goodbye. But when his hands began to roam over my body, and goose bumps rose on my skin, and he brought back those last-night memories, I started having second thoughts. It might be good to give him a quickie…I had time…it could be short and sweet…what would it matter?

  But I pushed him away because it would matter. It would matter because today was my wedding day. And no matter what anyone thought, I did have morals!

  I rolled off the bed, then glanced at Roman over my shoulder. “I'm going into the bathroom,” I said. “When I come out, please be gone.”

  His face stretched with surprise and his expression told me that he found my words a bit abrasive. I was sorry for that--my tone was harsher than my heart. But if that's what was needed to make him be gone, then fine. I had to keep my mind on what was important here, and that was getting him out of the room so that I could prepare to become Kenny's bride.

  I went into the bathroom, lowered the cover on the commode, sat down and waited. For a while, I was sure that he was going to knock on the door and ask to use the toilet. Isn't that what everyone did in the morning?

  I folded my hands together and that was when I saw it--the ring! Dang! I'd forgotten that I still had on Hines's ring. Can you imagine what would have happened if I walked into the church wearing this?

  Jumping up from the toilet, I put my ear to the door. There was nothing. Still, I waited just a bit longer, just in case, before I stepped into the bedroom.

  It was empty.

  The only sign that Roman had been there were the tousled sheets and rumpled comforter that had been tossed onto the floor some time during the middle of the night.

  I strolled through the grand bedroom and into the even grander living room. There was no sign of Roman, but I noticed an undershirt draped over the arm of the sofa. It took me a moment to figure out what it was and when I lifted it up, I laughed.

  Call me any time, and call me often! That's what Roman had scribbled across the shirt that he'd left behind for me. Was he kidding? Shaking my head, I folded the shirt and took it with me into the bedroom. I was never going to call him. Last night was last night. And now it was over.

  I stepped inside the walk-in closet, stuffed Roman's shirt into the bottom of my bag, then slid off Hines's ring. I kissed that big ol’ diamond goodbye before I tucked it into my purse and slipped my real ring back onto my finger. This was okay--soon my boo would be able to afford the best for me.

  Turning to my wedding dress, I gently pulled it off the hanger and cradled it like a baby in my arms before I laid it atop of the disheveled sheets of the bridal bed. Stepping back, I studied the Barber original. The purity that the designer had captured in that gown did not belong anywhere near the decadence that had gone down on that mattress over the last few hours.

  So, I gathered the dress once again, and carried it into the living room. Roman and I had spent a couple of hours in this part of the suite, but most of the time, I was pinned up against the balcony windows. The couch was virgin territory. Gently, I spread out the satin dress over the sofa, then stepped back.

  That was better.

  It was the quiet and the gown and the opulence all around me that made me realize what I was about to do. The realization weighed heavy on my shoulders and I had to ask myself, did I really want to do this? Staring at the dress, I asked that question over and over.

  “Yes,” I said aloud. “I want to be Mrs. Kenny Larson.”

  I had wanted to be this man's wife for a long time now, and there had to be a reason why we'd lasted all of these years. We were meant to be and with just a little help, Kenny would become the provider. He would become the husband that I needed. I had no doubt that he would work hard on that. And in return, I would work hard on becoming the best wife I could be. I knew I would make that promise to him in just a few hours, but I made it to myself right then. This was my solemn vow.

  That pledge made me feel even worse about what I'd done last night, but those blissful hours were in the past, right? Never to be revisited. I could start anew. I could be a good wife; after all, it was in my DNA. My mother had been the perfect wife--dutiful, faithful, respectful--until the day she died. I could be all of that.

  The knock on the door drew me away from my thoughts and I scurried to the closet first, slipping into a bathrobe. By the time I got to the door, the knock had come again. Glancing at the grandfather clock, I was glad that I knew my friend so well. It was just a little past six-thirty
and Roman had barely been gone fifteen minutes.

  “Jasmine!” Kyla squealed, as if she hadn't seen me in years.

  “You're early,” I said and hugged her--but then my eyes opened wide and my mouth clamped shut.

  When Kyla saw me looking over her shoulder, she said, “Oh, Jasmine, do you remember, Roman?” She stepped into the suite and Roman followed her inside.

  Now, I considered myself a proficient enough dodger and liar. I'd had to keep my life as a stripper a secret and lie to Kenny and everyone else for years. But in the past, I'd always had time to figure out what to do, what to say.

  Roman saved me though. He spoke before I started babbling. “I guess you don't remember me. From the other night,” he said, as if he hadn't made love to me a dozen times in the last twelve hours. “I was one of the dancers at your bachelorette party.”

  “Oh, yeah,” I said, hardly able to breathe. What was this guy up to? I began to wonder what I'd thought before: was this dude some kind of crazy?

  “I bumped into Roman as I was walking to the elevator,” Kyla said. “He offered to help me bring all this stuff up.”

  “You should've had a bellman do that,” I said to Kyla, taking the garment bag and suitcase from Roman's grasp. My hands shook, but it was good that I had something to do so neither one of them would notice.

  Roman said, “Oh, I didn't mind helping. I was just leaving the hotel.”

  With my back to Roman and Kyla, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Well, thank you,” I said, when I finally had the nerve to face him.

  “Yes, thanks,” Kyla added.

  The three of us stood there for the longest moments of my life. Roman looked like he was waiting for an invitation to stay.

  He was some kind of crazy! I needed to get this guy out of here. “Well,” I said, hoping that was a good enough hint.

  “Well,” Kyla said, looking at Roman too.

  He still stood there, silent. Until, “Oh, yeah. You're getting married today. You probably need some time to get ready.” He stepped back, and I almost tripped rushing past him to get to the door first. It took everything inside of me not to reach out, grab his hand, drag him away, and then push him out the door. But I didn't have to touch him, thank God; he followed me, and when he got to the door, he paused and grinned. “I hope you have a good wedding.”

  I glared back at him. “Thank you,” I said stiffly.

  It still took him a moment before he stepped into the hall. I didn't know if he turned back or not because the moment he cleared the door, I shut it behind him.

  “That was weird, huh?” Kyla said.

  My best friend had absolutely no idea.

  She continued, “When I saw him downstairs, he said he was visiting his girlfriend.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. It wasn't like I asked him anything. He just kept talking and I kept listening.”

  “What else did he say?” I really wanted to change the subject, but I felt like I needed to know everything. It wasn't that I was curious; I needed to figure out just how crazy this dude was.

  “He just talked about his girlfriend. Told me that she was the love of his life and how she had been engaged to someone else when they met.”

  “What?” was what I thought. “Wow,” was what I said.

  “I know!” Kyla said. “Then he started asking me questions. He wanted to know what I was doing here, and after he had shared all of that, I felt like I had to tell him.”

  She chuckled, but I didn't.

  “I told him that you were getting married today,” she continued, “but he didn't really remember you…which was weird. 'Cause he remembered me and he spent all of that time talking to you!” Kyla shrugged. “Well anyway, enough about that guy. This is your day. And it's all about you.” She scurried over and hugged me. “Did I come too early? Did I wake you?”

  “Nah,” I said with my voice so shaky. My heart still hadn't returned to its normal beat, but I wasn't worried about Kyla noticing. She would just chalk it up to pre-wedding nerves. “I've been up for a while.”

  “Couldn't sleep, huh?” Kyla laughed. Thank God she didn't wait for me to answer. She said, “It was just like that for me too, remember? I tossed and turned the whole night before my wedding. I bet you did that too.”

  Yup, I had done some tossing and turning last night. But now it was my stomach that was flipping and flopping.

  Turning away from me, she said, “This place is beautiful!” Her voice was filled with wonder as she strolled through the living room.

  For the first time since I'd opened the door for Kyla, my thoughts turned to something that could make me smile. Kyla's reaction was exactly what I wanted. Everything in her life was always exceptional and next to her, I'd always felt so average. But today, she would be in awe of me.

  “I would've loved to have stayed here with you last night,” she said as she stood at the balcony window. She pressed her face against the glass, and I cringed a little. If she'd known what had gone down right where she stood, just a couple of hours ago, she would have backed up for real. And now that my thoughts were back to Roman, my smile faded.

  “Well anyway, I'm here now.” She turned back to me. And then, as if she was looking at me for the first time, she gasped, “Your hair!”

  “I know!” I was so glad to have something else to focus on. “But you can hook me up, right?”

  She sighed like it was going to be a big task, but her grin told me that she was up for it. “Well, we'd better get started. We only have,” she glanced at her watch, “five hours before you become a wife like me!” She squealed, jumped up and down and clapped her hands, reminding me of our days together in kindergarten.

  “I'd better get in the shower, I guess. Serena should be here in a little while, and then the wedding planner said she wanted to go over some things with me.”

  “Okay. Do you want me to order up something for you to eat?”

  I paused. When was the last time I ate? Dang--I'd spent all those hours having sex. Food didn't matter.

  And now, I didn't want a thing. Roman had stolen my appetite.

  “I'm not hungry.”

  “I'm gonna order you something anyway,” she said as she shooed me away. “Now get going. I'll take care of everything.”

  She laughed and I tried to laugh, too. But it was hard because I didn't feel the joy that I was supposed to on my wedding day. My head was filled with thoughts of Roman. Was that guy weird or what? Was it just a coincidence that he'd bumped into Kyla? That didn't seem likely, because he had left with enough time to be far away from the hotel by the time she'd driven up.

  I took a deep breath. Well, at least he was gone and any thoughts I'd had of going down to the beach just to say hello were totally gone, too! I was going to stay as far away from crazy as I could.

  Inside the bathroom, I turned the hot water knob all the way to the right, then stood under the shower, taking as much heat as I could stand. I scrubbed away my sins, removed every memory of Roman, and prepared myself for my husband. Kenny was the only one on my mind. Maybe last night with Roman was a good thing; now, I really couldn't wait to get married.

  Chapter 6

  “Okay, go!” Yolanda, the wedding planner barked at Kyla. She waited for a count of three and said, “Next,” then pushed my sister through the double French doors before she closed them and motioned for me and my father to step from the side. “This is what happens when you don't have a rehearsal,” Yolanda mumbled under her breath.

  She had been complaining so much the whole morning that I'd already learned how to tune her out.

  “You ready to do this, sweetheart?” my father asked me as if he was ignoring Yolanda, too.

  “Definitely.”

  He took my hand and hooked our arms together. “Kenny is a good man, but with you by his side, he's a blessed man.”

  I smiled at him. Even though my dad never lived up to the standards that I'd wanted (he never wore a suit to work like Kyla
's father, and he never made a lot of money like Kyla's father) he gave me something better than all of that: he gave me unconditional love.

  “I love you, Daddy,” I said, right before I kissed his cheek.

  “I love you too, sweetheart. And I know your mother is smiling down on you right now.”

  Ah, man! I was doing just fine up to this moment. My dad bringing up my mother brought new tears to my eyes. I tried to blink them back, because if I started crying again, I might never stop. And Kyla would kill me after all she'd done on my makeup. But how could I help it? Thoughts of my mother always made me want to cry. No matter how much I loved my father, there was nothing like my mother's love. From as early as I could remember, we'd always been a twosome. Even after Serena was born, nothing changed; I was always her special little girl.

  You've been with me the longest, was something that she always said to me. You will always have a special place in my heart.

  My mother proved to me that she meant it, too. From the manis and pedis that we got together to our monthly pajama parties where my mom slept in my bedroom with me, I knew there was a place that was all mine in her heart.

  I know a lot of people thought that I'd changed when my mom passed away. I had to agree. When they lowered my mother into the ground, I was absolutely sure that a piece of my heart went down there with her.

  Just as I felt myself dipping down into that abyss of sadness, I was shocked out of it by the wedding planner from hell.

  “Okay, get ready, get ready,” Yolanda barked. “Time to go. One, two, three…”

  She opened the door. My father and I stood under the arch at the entrance of the room. I grasped my father's arm a bit tighter as the world-renowned harpist, Latricia Flowers, softly played her rendition of Stevie Wonder's “You and I.”

  All of the fifty guests that Kenny and I had invited stood as I took my first steps. Their smiles greeted me, and I took the time to soak in the good wishes that I saw on my friends' faces. Well, calling these people friends might have been a stretch, and the expressions on their faces were more scowls than smiles, but since it was my wedding day, I could see whatever I wanted to see on their faces.