But what I needed most was air. I needed to get outside and walk off some of this tension that had taken root and was growing inside of me. Reaching down into my purse for my sunglasses, I pushed through the glass door and bumped right into someone.
“I'm sorry,” I said, looking up. My heart became a jackhammer. “Roman!”
“Jasmine!” he exclaimed as if he was just as shocked to see me.
“What are you doing here?” we said together.
But I wasn't about to fall for his act. He knew what I was doing here. Kenny had told him yesterday.
So, I repeated, “What are you doing here?” because he was the one who had no reason to be in this place.
He grinned. “Didn't I just ask you the same thing?”
I couldn't figure out why he thought anything I said was funny. I didn't find humor in this and really, this man was scaring me now. Hanging out at the Ritz this early in the morning? What was he planning to do? Come up to the room where Kenny and I were staying?
That thought scared me, enough to let me know it was time to stop this. I turned around and began my march to the front desk. I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to say to the clerk, but I was going to make sure that Roman didn't get within shouting distance of me and Kenny ever again.
“Where are you going?” he asked, following me.
“I'm going to report you--because it's obvious that you're stalking me.”
He must've thought that I was kidding because he had the nerve to laugh. But then as I kept moving, his laughter went away.
“Jasmine, wait. What are you doing?”
I took more steps.
“You've got to be kidding. I'm not stalking you.” I was two steps away from the attendant when Roman said, “Please. If you do this, you could mess me up. I'm not stalking you. I'm here for an interview.”
The only reason I turned around was because I had to look into his eyes to see if he honestly thought that I was that much of a fool.
“Really,” he said.
“You're here for an interview. Here at the Ritz.” My questions sounded like statements. “Please, you're gonna have to come up with something better than that.”
“No really. Take a look at this.” He pulled an envelope from his pocket, then unfolded the paper that had been inside.
I didn't know why I was even entertaining this crazy man; it had to be my natural curiosity. Tentatively taking the paper, I scanned it.
As I read, he spoke, “I was really impressed with this place when I came here the other day,” he said as if he owed me an explanation. “So I checked out the spa and asked if they had any personal trainers. The manager said that was something they were considering and she scheduled an interview with me this morning.”
My eyes took in every word of the letter and I couldn't believe it. His explanation lined up with the letter I was reading from a Lolita Carter. Like he said, he had an interview scheduled for this morning. It was the last lines that caught my attention:
I cannot tell you how much I'm looking forward to meeting with you. (I bet she was, especially with a name like Lolita.) You're the kind of man who could add to the Ritz Carlton staff.
Add what?
Then I asked myself why did I care? Whatever, she could have him.
He said, “So you see,” he pulled the letter from my hand, folded it back into the envelope and tucked it inside his pocket, “I'm not stalking you.”
Okay, so he had a reason to be here, but it still didn't make complete sense. It still didn't feel right. “How did they schedule the interview so fast? You were just here Saturday.”
He shrugged. “I know. I was surprised too. This letter was waiting for me when I got home last night. It looked like it had been personally delivered.”
I had more questions for this man, like why had he shown up, uninvited, to my wedding. But since I didn't want to get into a long drawn out discussion with him, all I asked was, “Your interview is this early?”
“I want to make a good impression.”
He had an answer for everything. Just like a stalker. At least, that's what my intuition was telling me. But then, he did have that letter from Lolita….
“So, you're not gonna turn me over to the stalker police?”
He grinned and I smirked; I had no intention of answering him. In fact, I had no intention of entertaining any further conversation.
As I moved past him, he reached for me, and the feeling of his fingers on my bare arm sent electrical memories through me. There was no other way to describe it--it was like a power surge, from my toes to my head, reminding me of all we had done. Of his hands, his mouth, our union.
I closed my eyes, trying to force it all away.
“What's the matter?” he whispered, his breath heating my ear.
I twisted around, looked up, and his lips were right there. Just waiting for me. Then, over his shoulder, I saw the desk attendant, his curious eyes staring at us. Maybe that was why when Roman took my hand and led me from the lobby, I followed.
We should've been going the other way. I should've made him take me outside, where we would've been in public and I would've been safe. But he led me back down the corridor through a hall that I'd yet to explore but which Roman seemed to know. Wordlessly, I followed, though I was saying all kinds of things to myself in my head. I couldn't go with this man. For what purpose? I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to do anything with him.
Moments later, we were back in the area that housed the spa. As he held my hand, I followed Roman inside a men's restroom.
“What…”
But not another word came out of my mouth. Roman pressed me inside a stall and before he closed the door behind us, his lips were smothering mine.
I wanted to fight him. That's what I was supposed to do. But I had no energy--at least, no energy for that kind of battle. Instead, I fought to devour him with my lips, with my hands.
I ripped his shirt from his chest and groaned as I fondled the muscles that were familiar to me now. I assaulted him with every part of my body. My lips, tongue, hands were all over him, and he was all over me. He yanked my skirt up to my waist just in time to enter me and we both moaned with complete joy.
For a millisecond I thought about the fact that just a few floors above, I had a new husband who by now could be awake and wondering about me. But that thought was fleeting because Roman was over me, on me, in me.
It was a cacophony of feelings that I released--frustration, anger, hurt--and Roman turned all of that tension into pleasure. He held me like he understood, he kissed me like he would make it all better, and then he sang in ecstasy with me, his harmony in tune with my melody. And we sang a long, moanful song that ended with notes that could have shattered glass.
Long seconds passed before I was able to move, before my breathing settled. My eyes fluttered open and Roman's face was right there, right in front of me. The skin on his head glistened and perspiration dripped from his face. His breathing matched mine--short quick breaths, that finally slowed. My legs were still wrapped around his waist and his arms were still around me.
Slowly, his lips spread into a wide grin that made my heart pound.
I was terrified. The look in Roman’s eyes let me know that I'd just entered into a covenant with a mad man.
Chapter 10
I couldn't get my hands to stop trembling. What had I done? What kind of woman had sex with another man while she was on her honeymoon?
All I wanted to do was cry, but I had to pull myself together. I smoothed down my skirt, checked my blouse and just as I was about to put the key in the door, the suite door swung open and Kenny stood there with wide eyes.
“Jasmine!”
I couldn't help it: I burst into tears.
“Oh my God!” Kenny said, pulling me into his arms. “I thought you had left. I thought you had left me.”
“No, no!” I cried into his arms. “I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry!”
Somehow, Ke
nny pulled me into the suite and he closed the door behind us even though his arms stayed wrapped around me. We held onto each other in the living room, and then suddenly, I pulled back. Suppose he smelled Roman on me?
“Jasmine, I'm so sorry,” he said as he wiped a tear from my eye. “I had no idea that planning this--that staying here in Los Angeles--would make you so unhappy. Really, I thought this would be wonderful. I thought our honeymoon would be great and….”
I pressed my fingers against his lips, stopping him. “No,” I shook my head, “I'm the one who's sorry. I never should've acted this way.” Of course, Kenny had no idea what I was really apologizing for, but I meant what I said from the bottom of my heart. I was so sorry. I never should have been with Roman.
He said, “I guess I really should have talked to you about this first.”
“I really should've been just grateful, baby. You were right. All that matters is that we're spending time together.”
For the first time in a while, Kenny grinned. I wanted to smile with him, but I couldn't because of all of the regret in my heart.
“So,” he began, “does this mean that we're going to have a fabulous honeymoon?”
I nodded, but when he reached for me again, I stepped back because I knew he wanted to seal his words with a kiss. And I couldn't kiss him. Not yet.
When he frowned, I kissed the tip of my fingers then once again, pressed my fingers against his lips. “We're going to have a wonderful honeymoon,” I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking. “But first, I have to…take a shower.”
His grin was back. “No you don't.” He chuckled. “I'm just as funky as you.”
I wanted to cry all over again, because there was no way he was stained the way I was. “I'd feel a whole lot better if I took a shower, Kenny.”
“Okay,” he said softly.
By the way he said that, I knew he could feel that something was wrong. But I was just as sure that he thought I was still unhappy about staying in L.A., and he wasn't going to push it. I'd just apologized, and my husband would do everything to keep the peace.
As I turned toward the bedroom, he added, “Do you want me to join you?”
There was hope in his voice and I closed my eyes for a second wondering how I was going to explain that I had to be alone so that I could wash all of this filth off of me. With everything I had inside, I smiled when I faced him. “I've been acting like a fool,” I said. “I just want some time to really get myself together so that I can be right for you.” I paused. “Is that okay?”
“You haven't been a fool, Jasmine. I understand.”
It wasn't until that moment that I realized just how special Kenny was. I wanted to fall to my knees and just beg for his forgiveness. But instead I smiled and then rushed into the bathroom.
Closing the door behind me, I slid to the floor and held my head in my hands. I was in a state of shock. Truly. There was no way I could explain to anyone, not even myself, what had just happened.
I'd had sex. With a crazed man. I became an adulterer on my honeymoon.
Who does that?
This was beyond the realm even for me. Especially since I didn't even like Roman. And now, I was scared of him.
I sat on the floor with my knees pulled up to my chest for a long time, trying to figure this all out. But time didn't give me any answers. All I had were the questions.
“Okay, Jasmine,” I said, “get yourself together.”
I pushed myself from the floor, but when I faced the mirror, I couldn't even look at my own reflection. So I turned around, turned on the shower, and stripped. Even though the outfit I had on was new and cute, I planned to burn every stitch of those clothes.
When I stepped into the shower stall, I thought about the fact that here I was, once again, in this bathroom, trying to scour away my sins. But no matter how hard I rubbed the washcloth against my skin, I couldn't scrub hard enough to get deep enough. There was no way for me to cleanse my heart.
That didn't stop me from trying, though, and by the time I turned off the water, I felt raw, but free. I had reconciled it all. Maybe I couldn't change what I'd done, but I could make up for it. That's what I was going to do. In every possible way, I was going to make up my infidelity to Kenny.
Stepping out of the shower, I wrapped myself inside one of the oversized towels and tried to figure out my new strategy. There was no way I could have sex with Kenny, at least not today. I'd already violated him in one way. There wasn't any way I was going to let him play second to Roman.
I'd have to come up with something to say. Not that I was too worried. Kenny would understand; as long as I was happy and we were together, that would be enough for him. The challenge was going to be me and all the thoughts that were swirling around in my head.
Like I said, though: nothing I could do about the past. All I had now was my future, and I knew for sure that I would never see Roman again.
When I looked up, I caught my reflection in the mirror again. This time, though, I forced myself to look directly in my eyes. It was still hard for me to smile, but I would be able to soon enough.
Taking a final deep breath, I opened the bathroom door and stepped into the bedroom in search of my husband.
Chapter 11
I moaned slightly, as I stretched. I'd slept well--long and deep. It was so good I didn't want to wake up fully, at least not yet, but I could feel the heat of the morning sun peeking in the windows. Slowly, I opened my eyes.
Instantly, I smiled. Kenny was already awake, propped up on his elbow, smiling down at me.
“What?” I said when he kept staring.
“You're just so beautiful. I could look at you like this all day.”
“You know how to make a girl feel good.” I covered my mouth to keep my morning breath to myself, but Kenny gently eased my hand away.
“You don't have to do that. We're married now,” he said.
I laughed and didn't try to even turn away when he gently kissed me.
We were halfway through our honeymoon and I had to admit, I was having a great time. Not that Kenny had changed a thing. We were still in LA, still at the Ritz. But we'd just spent the last two days in bed, exactly the way Kenny had planned this celebration of our marriage.
The only thing that had changed was my attitude. Behind these closed doors with my husband, I was grateful. So grateful that my life was still intact after what I'd done on Monday.
When I walked out of that bathroom on Monday, Kenny was just lying in the bed waiting for me. I had crawled under the sheets with him, but just like I'd planned, we didn't have sex--I couldn't, I wouldn't. I told Kenny that I wanted to be intimate, but in a different kind of way. I told him that all I wanted to do to was hold him. And have him hold me.
That's all we did. We stayed in bed and held each other. And watched TV. And ordered room service.
We didn't have sex.
And Kenny was just fine with it all.
But then yesterday, it was on. I laid it on so hard that by eight o'clock last night, Kenny was straight comatose. The sex had knocked him out cold. I was pleased. Kenny was happy, and Roman was forgotten.
“So,” Kenny said leaning back and taking me away from my thoughts. “What should we put on the agenda today?”
I grinned. “Are you trying to back out on me?” When he frowned, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close. “I thought you said we were going to spend our whole honeymoon in bed.”
Kenny's grin was so wide, I could see every one of his teeth. “You ain't said nothing, but….”
A buzzing sound interrupted Kenny and both of our glances turned to the nightstand where Kenny had laid his watch, his keys, and his beeper. It surprised me when he rolled away from me and glanced at the message on the screen.
“Dang!”
Sitting up, I asked, “What's wrong?”
He shook his head. “I can't believe this.”
“What?” My tone must've sounded like I was worried, be
cause Kenny turned to me.
“No, nothing. It's not a big deal. It's just that….” He took a breath and turned to fully face me. “I wanted to surprise you.” Another breath. “I know you're not really happy with my job. I mean, I know you think I can do better.”
“Oh, no,” I said. It was the new Jasmine telling that lie.
Kenny chuckled and held up his hands. “I know we're on our honeymoon, but you can tell the truth. You hate that I'm just an analyst at the Times.”
This time, I kept my mouth shut.
“So,” he said, “I decided to do something, because I always want to make you proud.” He grinned and paused so long, I thought he was waiting for a drum roll or something. “I'm going to get my real estate license!”
He jumped up from the bed, so excited, acting like he was about to do the running man or something. I hated to say it, but I was not impressed.
The thing was, I had much bigger plans for Kenny. Like I said, my plan was that he was going to be a star on the speaking circuit, where he would be able to demand fat fees for bringing his star power to all kinds of events. But then, after a few seconds, I began to think this real estate thing might not be such a bad idea. At least not as a beginning. He was still Kenneth Larson, after all. Maybe his star power would help him sell a house or two.
“Jasmine?”
I had to blink to bring myself back from my thoughts.
“I was hoping that you would be excited.”
I smiled. “I am. Good for you, Kenny. You'll be good at it. Actually, you're good at everything.” But when I reached for him, he backed away.
“The only thing is that I just got beeped from the Ladera office and I know what it's about. There're some papers I forgot to sign last Friday.” He shook his head. “Dang. I didn't want anything to mess with our honeymoon, but….”
“Go on,” I said. “Take care of it.”
“You don't mind?” he asked sounding kinda surprised.
“No. It won't take long, right?”
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