by Mays, Nikki
“How can they be done wrong?” Declan questions obviously deciding that this useless question is a great idea.
“Well, it depends on whether or not they’ve put in the full effort or just half-assed it.” Mel shrugs. I know that I’ll probably regret asking this and it just goes to show how much freaking Doll has influenced me these past few months, that I now join in with all these ridiculous conversations.
“I’ll bite. What’s the difference between putting in the effort and half-assing it?” I just shake my head at myself. I can’t believe that I’m actually participating in this. I look over at JJ and he’s looking at me like I’ve lost my damn mind. Maybe I have. I probably gave it to Doll at the same time that I seemed to have handed her my balls.
“Okay.” Mellie starts, looking overly excited about getting to answer this. I look over at Morris and try to picture him with a man but Mel appears to have thought about this a bit too much. Yup, he’ll look like a douche. “So, the guys that do it half-assed are the ones who shaved the back of their heads and only have it long enough on top to have the bun. They guys who really put in the effort and look the best are the ones who grow out all of their hair to do it. The bun looks a million times better because it’s thicker, not some skimpy/scraggly mess.”
“Babe, why have you put so much thought into this?” Morris asks looking frightened. I would be too if I was him right about now.
Mel looks at Morris for a long second, almost like she’s envisioning him with one. “No reason.” She replies. I snort. No reason my ass. That poor sap is going to end up with long hair before he knows it.
I glance up and see Michelle looking at me peculiarly. “Not gonna happen Doll.” I shake my head at her. She purses her lips and turns away. I’ll willingly give up my life for her but I will never, ever have a man bun for her. That’s just asking for too much.
“Alright, what about the time that he told you not to go for your business degree as well as baking because you’re too stupid to do it?” Marc questions. What the fuck. I am getting happier about him ending up in front of that car by the minute.
Michelle goes back to glaring daggers at Marc. At least we’re back on track now. “He didn’t call me stupid.”
“Right. His exact words were: “Babe, that’s going to be hard and you know that only smart people can do that much. Maybe you should think about dropping out and saving money.” Marc says verbatim while glaring back at Michelle. Normally it would piss me off to have someone looking at her like that. But since Marc had to deal with this scumbag for years I’m gonna let it go. No wonder he was so excited to scare the shit out of him.
“What the ever-loving fuck?” JJ says with pure disgust. The rest of the guys murmur their agreement.
Michelle puts her hands on her hips and glares around at all of us. “Okay, I fluffing know people! He was the world’s biggest mistake. But news flash people, everyone makes mistakes, especially in their early twenties. I finally left his ass, and that’s all that matters. And don’t act like none of you have ever had an ex that you regret.”
She holds up her hand when Marc starts to say something. “Don’t even manwhore. You may not have an ex since you bed hop daily but at some point, you’re probably going to get herpes so it evens out.” That comment sends Dec and Rocco into a fit of giggles because apparently, they’re twelve-year-old girls now.
“Okay, I think that we can all agree that he is a piece of shit and we’re all happy that you got rid of him.” JJ starts while pinching the bridge of his nose. It really must suck balls some days being in charge of this group. We probably should take him out for a beer with us. “And I’m sure that we all agree that Marc will most likely end up with an STD in the near future.”
“Nope. No glove, no love. I’m as clean as a whistle.” Marc says with a self-satisfied smirk.
“A whistle that’s been around the block so many times, no one wants to touch it anymore.” Mel smarts.
“No!” JJ yells. “You two are not starting right now. Contain that shit until I’m done with all of you.” Marc and Mel glare at each other but wisely stay quiet. I give their mother a lot of props. It couldn’t have been easy dealing with those two.
“Anyway.” JJ starts again while eyeing every single one of us. “Since there isn’t any proof of wrongdoing and all the witnesses state that he ran out in front of the car all by himself.” JJ pauses while looking down at his lap and shaking his head. “You are all free to go and to report back to work on Monday morning. Enjoy your weekend and leave me the fuck alone for the next few days. And I cannot stress this enough; Do not for any reason have any contact with him again. Do I make myself clear?”
We all murmur our agreement while he looks at us intently. “I mean it. You jackasses lucked out this time. Next time you might not be so lucky. Now get the hell out of my office and I’ll see you Monday.”
We all get up and start making our way out of his office. Michelle pauses in front of JJ. “Do you want to come with us? Mellie’s buying.”
JJ looks up and smiles at her. “No sweetheart, I’ll take a raincheck. I have Paige this weekend and I’m sure she has some tween movie hell to put me through. Plus, if I have to look at their ugly mugs anymore this week, I might scream. But have fun.”
“Okay, see you later.” She smiles at him and grabs my hand to walk out. I nod my goodbye and start walking with Doll towards the exit.
“So, on a scale of one to ten, how pissed are you?” I ask my future wife. She looks over at me and purses her lips while raising an eyebrow. “Right, that’s what I thought.” I can only imagine all the fun I’m going to have on the ride to the bar. Fucking Marc, I knew I shouldn’t have listened to him.
Michelle
Lord save me from all of the foolish men in my life! I swear I don’t know whether to kiss him or kick him some days. I cannot believe that they had a part in Gerry ending up getting hit by a car. Okay, I take that back. I can completely believe that they had something to do with it. Honestly, I’m somewhat surprised that they didn’t actually push him in front of it. And I didn’t believe their innocence in that until I saw the video from a traffic camera. That idiot really just ran out into traffic all by himself. I really can’t believe that I ever had anything to do with that turd.
“What in the hell were you guys thinking?” I turn to Damon as soon he gets behind the wheel of his truck. I drove in with Mellie purposely so that I could question my hubby to be.
He starts the truck and pulls out onto the road before he answers. “That Marc had a good idea.”
“That Marc had a good idea?” I ask incredulously. “Do you see nothing wrong with that sentence?”
“At the time...no.” He shrugs a bit. “Now...still no.”
“Still no?” I ask just to make sure that I’m hearing his correctly because that can’t possibly be his answer.
“Yup. I might’ve thought it was a bad idea for a few minutes in JJ’s office when I was worried if we would get into any trouble. But after hearing just a few of the things that dickwad has said to you. Nope. I think that Marc had a fucking brilliant idea. I’d do it again.”
I raise my hand to my forehead. Okay, I’ll admit, after my initial shock at hearing what happened, I was laughing about it. Gerry really is an awful human being so I don’t feel all that bad about what happened. But I really don’t need to give Damon any encouragement on his bad behavior. He obviously has the rest of the guys for that.
“Okay honey, let’s try this again. What exactly did you guys do?” I ask because this seems like an easy question. Damon starts to side eye me a bit.
“Remember how before we got together I would nicely get rid of the guys who weren’t good enough for you?” He asks innocently. I can’t even help the snort that escapes my lips. Nicely my ass! He pretty much terrorized any man that I came into contact with. Oh Lord, I can only imagine what these fools were up to.
“Yes, I have a vague memory of being a pariah for a while.” I de
adpan. He looks over and asks me. This jackass actually tsked me!
“The sarcasm isn’t needed Doll. We’ve been over how unhappy you were about those events many, many times.” This motherfluffer is asking for it. “Anyway.” He pauses obviously thinking that I’m about to jump down his throat. Nope, I’m going to wait for him to hang himself here. “Marc decided that I had a good tactic going on there.”
“And what tactic would that be? Being a complete psychopath?” I ask the man that I love more than anything in this world for some reason. It’s gotta be his abs and tattoos.
He looks over at me giving me a glare. “No.” He says slowly. “How to make someone think that I’m omnificent. It freaks people out when they think that you’re everywhere and anywhere.”
“And let me guess, this is where Declan comes into play.” I mean sure I get it. They might as well use their creepy twin abilities. Their poor mother. I can only imagine the things that she had to deal with because of them. Note to self: She gets an amazing Mother’s Day gift this year.
“Yeah, he’s a good brother like that. Plus, he thinks it’s hysterical. He was kinda sad when we got together and he couldn’t help me scare anyone anymore. I was kinda sad about that too. We had some good times.” He’s literally looking at me like someone just kicked his damn puppy. Who in the hell gets upset because they can’t go around scaring people anymore.
“Honey, you get that that’s not normal...right?” I mean really.
“It’s a brother thing. You wouldn’t understand Doll.” He replies.
“It’s a brother thing?” I ask. Yes, because all brothers go out and terrorize people together. Who doesn’t enjoy that wonderful activity? Another note to self: when we have kids, daddy and uncle Declan aren’t to watch the kids together without sane adult supervision. I should also probably tell Mellie that we shouldn’t leave MJ with all of them so much. God only knows what they’re teaching my sweet little man.
“Yup,” Damon says wearing a proud smirk. I’m getting their mom a diamond necklace for Mother’s Day. “So, Marc came up with the idea of us following him around a bit. We tried to keep hidden a bit to see if he was the one breaking into our place and the shop.”
“Was he?” I cut in because this is an important question. I’m assuming that they concocted this whole idea because they thought that he was involved somehow. At least that’s what I’m telling myself. The thought of all of them doing this for fun is just disturbing.
He scratches the back of his neck. “Ahh, no. He no longer works for the alarm company. He’s actually in training to become a *cough* firefighter. He’s been there for the past few months and cadets have a strict curfew.” Hmmm, something not right here. My spidey sense for his nonsense is going off.
“How early into your stalking of Gerry did you guys find this out?”
“fromthebeggining.” He quickly mumbles.
“What was that? I couldn’t hear you.” It better be that I heard him wrong.
He has the grace to look sheepish before he spits out. “From the beginning.”
“So, let me get this straight. You all still decided to keep tormenting him, even after you knew that he had nothing to do with the break-ins? Am I understanding this correctly
“Yeah. See what happened is, that Dec was upset that we wouldn’t get to do anything. Then Marc said that after all the shit he put you through, that this was the least we could do. Once Marc told us a few tidbits of what went on, we thought that he deserved whatever we could come up with.” He looks pointedly at me when he says this.
I get it, I haven’t been exactly forthcoming about the details of our relationship. But can you blame me? It’s embarrassing to have been with something like him for so long. I should’ve quit his ass long before I did. But that’s what happens when you’re young and dumb and don’t think that you deserve any better. I wish that I could go back in time and slap some self- confidence into myself, or maybe just slap myself in general.
“Him getting hit by that car was like winning the fucking lottery. His screams will stay with me for a long time.” He says with a creepy/dreamy look on his face.
I scrunch up my face in disgust at him. “You were really upset about the Dahmer reference? Because I’ve got to tell you, you’re really not seeming to be too far off.”
“What?” He asks looking thoroughly confused.
“Damon, people who aren’t psychopaths don’t get a happy, dopey look on their face when they think about someone’s screams of pain. They just don’t.”
“It’s not like I get that way for everyone’s screams of pain...just him.” He has the nerve to look offended. Ya know because I’m being completely insulting. “And I would especially never be happy about seeing a woman or child in pain. Well...no women except for that crazy snatch that kidnapped Mel.”
Alright, I agree with him on the Ashley thing. I’m glad that bitch is dead. I wonder what that says about me. Jesus, I’m not too far off from Damon.
“Don’t.” He says fiercely. “You love Mel like a sibling. It’s only natural to hate someone who hurts your family. That doesn’t make you bad, it just makes you human.”
It’s creepy how well he knows me. I barely even started that thought.
“I’m not saying that I’m the poster boy for sane because I’m definitely not. I’ve done too much shit in my time to not have a few cracks or even gaping holes.” He parks the truck and stares into my eyes. Huh, I didn’t even realize that we reach the bar already. “I know that I’m a dark bastard at times. But that’s why I love you so damn much. All of my cracks let your light filter in through me to make me whole. Don’t you get it Doll? I was living in the endless night until you and your brightness invaded my senses. Now instead of black, all I see is golden light and cherry red.”
Damn him. Seriously. How can I ever give him any crap about what he did when he says something like that to me. For a man who doesn’t like to speak too often, he really can be quite eloquent at times. And now I’m blubbering like a five-year-old how got her barbie stolen.
He reaches over and wipes away a tear with his thumb. “I’m going to be really mad at you if I go in there looking like a raccoon.” I sniffle as I lean my forehead against his.
He gives me a chaste kiss on my lips. “You’ll still be beautiful even if you try to imitate a raccoon.” I snort. Only Damon could give me a compliment while making fun of me.
“Okay, give me a minute to get myself together before we go in there,” I say as I pull down the visor to get to the mirror.
Okay not too bad. I look like a baby raccoon instead of its overly tired mama. I fix the smudges and apply some more lipstick. Because cherry red lips can make everything better. Especially if paired with an off the shoulder top that has cherries on it. Completed with skin-tight black leggings and red mary jane pumps. On a happy note, my Pompadour still looks amazing. The rest of the waves I created in the back of held up really well. Not even going to lie, Aquanet is my boo some days. Overall, I look pretty good, except for the slight puffiness that’s now around my eyes.
“Take your time. I’m sure that everyone else figures that you’re trying to figure out how to dump my body right now. I’m sure Declan is awaiting your call to dig my grave.” He tells me.
I look over at him in horror. “Why would Declan think that I would ever call him if I murdered you? Who would call the victims twin to dig their grave? Now that’s just callous.” I can’t believe that I’m really having this conversation. Seriously, what has my life become since meeting Damon?
He just shrugs at me like it’s no big deal to have his twin dig his grave. “I made him promise me that he would always take care of you and help you out with anything you need if something ever happens to me.” That’s oddly sweet...and morbid. Hmm, I’ll just concentrate on the sweet part. Yeah, that’s much better.
“Umm, honey, I don’t think that he would help me dig your grave. I have a feeling that that’s asking too much.”
> “Nah, he would just think that I did something to piss you off and probably deserved it.” He looks over at me with a delicious smirk. He really is too good looking. And he’s all mine...yum. Focus girlie parts. “You don’t believe me?” What were we talking about?
Oh right. “Nope.” I pop my P. “No sibling, especially ones as close as you two are, would ever help their siblings murdered dump their body.” I say with conviction. Come on, he can’t possibly expect me to believe this crap.
“Alright Doll. Finish up and let’s get in there. You can ask him for yourself what he would be willing to do for you because of our promise.” He says to me.
I finish up and put the visor back. “Okay, I’m ready,” I say as he hops out and comes around to my side.
This was one of the things that I had to get used to with Damon. His mama really did raise those boys right. He always comes over to open my car door and makes sure to hold all doors for me. Hell, he won’t even let me walk on the outside of the sidewalk by the road. Him being an old-school gentleman really took some getting used to after the other duds that I’ve dated.
He opens my door and lifts his hand for me to take. “Come on gorgeous. Let’s see which of us wins this one.”
“I didn’t realize that we were betting anything,” I say as I step onto the sidewalk.
He gives me that panty melting smirk again that causes tingles to my girlie regions. Damn, that thing is lethal, and he damn well knows it. “We’re not. I’ve already got everything that I could ever want right here.” Aww, someone’s sweet today. “But I wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to tell you that you’re wrong either. It’s one of my joys in life.” Did I say sweet? I meant annoying.
“You’re an ass.” I pout as he barks out a laugh.
He wraps his arm around my neck and drags me towards the entrance to the bar. “Come on Doll. Don’t act as you would ever pass up the opportunity. You know damn well that you wouldn’t.”
Hrmph. Annoying, sexy jerk. He knows very well that I wouldn’t.