by C. M. Fenn
They are obviously scandalized, so I plead, “I know. I’m so sorry. It was wrong of me to go behind your backs—”
“Stop.” Ben’s normally gentle voice is angry. I stare back at him, stunned by his demeanor.
“Don’t you dare apologize for doing what you felt you had to. Addy,” he looks at me intently, “if you hadn’t released Mikhail, we’d all be dead now. Do NOT apologize for that.”
Next to me, Ember quietly nods her head in agreement. She reaches out and takes my hand firmly, to show her support.
“So now we know how you got out,” Simone muses. Tilting her head to the side, she looks calculatingly at Mikhail. “But how did you do it? How did you kill that thing?”
“Yeah, I mean,” Crank motions wildly with his hands, “he was like, untouchable man!”
“From the outside,” I clarify.
“What—” Timothy starts but then stops abruptly, understanding dawning on him he looks at Mikhail in disbelief.
It takes a little while for the other Walkers to all catch up, but when they do, they share matching looks of shock. Mikhail squirms visibly under their scrutiny.
Breaking the silence, he explains simply, “I am a shadow traveler. I move through darkness.”
“Mikhail,” Kira steps forward and places a hand on his shoulder. “Were you really inside that thing?” She looks afraid of his answer.
He lowers his head as if in shame and nods. “It was the only way.”
“Thank you.” Kira’s look of fear is now one of marvel and respect. “Thank you for doing that for us.”
Others chime in now.
“Thank you, Mikhail.”
“Yes, thank you.”
“It must have been awful.”
I’ve been finely tuned to Mikhail’s state of being since he destroyed the Elder Shade, and I’ve felt as he’s gone through shock, fear, exhaustion, bewilderment, and unease at all the focused attention. He’s managed to keep all of this under the surface, but now the outpouring of gratitude from the Walkers and the feeling of finally being needed and accepted threatens to overwhelm him.
Fortunately, I have a deeply intuitive boyfriend who also happens to be our caring leader, and all it takes is one meaningful look from me for him to understand.
“Okay Walkers. Listen up.” Sam effectively draws everyone’s attention away from Mikhail, and he continues, “Each one of you performed amazing feats tonight. I couldn’t be more proud of any of you.” I can feel the pride pulsing through each of my comrades at these words.
“It feels as though this war had been a long time coming. All the hard work, the long hours that each of you put into preparation, whether it was thinning the ranks of Shades or putting in extra training time to keep in the very best form, it all paid off. If any one of you had given even one less ounce of effort, I’m not sure we would have succeeded. Congratulations are in order for ALL of you tonight. I think it’s safe to say you’ve all earned some much needed rest. Go sleep, relax, celebrate. You’ve just saved the world.”
The next few days are a welcomed vacation spent recuperating. Each of us has our own way of getting ourselves back into a normal routine. Simone’s idea of therapy is to visit all the world’s most elite shopping destinations. Poor Timothy gets dragged from Beverly Hills to Madison Avenue, then on to Milan and Paris. I’m sure it isn’t his ideal way to spend the time, but he never complains; his affection for Simone runs too deep.
Ben and Mel quietly take care of affairs with the Devon family. They ensure that Faye’s funeral expenses are covered by The Walker Foundation and issue a generous donation to the hospital where she had dedicated her life top-side.
Ember, Crank, and Lang-hao eagerly take on the responsibility of throwing the largest, most extravagant celebration party probably ever thrown. All the Walkers, their families, and friends are flown to New York City to party on the roof of a downtown skyscraper. Lang-hao insists on live music while Ember insists on live exotic animals. No one was eaten, though it was a night to remember.
Kira has taken an interest in Mikhail lately. She works with him daily to help bring him out of his shell. I’m not sure if she’s driven by the guilt she feels for the way she previously treated him, the gratitude for his part in saving the world, or whether she genuinely likes him. It’s difficult to tell, but she seems to be making progress. Mikhail smiles more now than he ever has before. It warms my heart to see the others engage him, embrace him.
Still, in the darkest places in my mind, I can’t fight off the nagging feeling that he isn’t as okay as he lets on. I was only inside the mind of the Elder Shade for a very short time, and it was the worst experience of my life. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for Mikhail.
The words he once spoke to me, his fears that night in Inner Silence, still haunt me.
It will change me, Addy. I will be ruined. Darkened.
I can’t know if those words were merely unfounded fears of self-doubt or if maybe they meant something I truly could not understand.
Despite losing Angel and Faye, we’re healing. I feel as though our emotional scars have only made us stronger and brought us each closer together. I still struggle at times to fill the roles they left behind, but I continue to try and it gets easier every day.
Sam and I spend every moment together. He’s my reward. To have the love of a man as strong and good as Sam is more than I deserve.
It’s strange to look backward from here. That person I was the first night I fell into Chaos is a complete stranger to me. Since that night, I’ve faced death countless times. I’ve met with pure evil and come away victorious. I’ve suffered devastating losses but learned that tragedy shapes us, for better or for worse. I’ve grown strong and confident. I’ve come to understand that the deep love of true friendship is the most valuable thing in life. I’ve learned that everyone deserves a chance at redemption, and most importantly, I’ve learned to always have faith in myself, against all odds.
I look at who I am now, at what I’ve become, and I hope it is something worthy of admiration. I hope that when I finally come face to face with my father again, that he will wear an expression of pride. I will forever hold this secret wish deep within my heart. But for now, I’m done looking backward.
I’m unsure of our future. Everything’s peaceful now—blissful even. But if there’s one thing that Chaos has taught me, it’s to enjoy the peace while you have it and to always be ready for the unexpected.
Logan
I lie on my side, legs curled up, cradling my mangled hands to my chest. I know I should be frightened. I should be terrified. But all I feel is sadness. I’m going to die tonight.
The snow nearly covers me. A loud crack and groan in the distance can only be one of the many trees around me surrendering to the weight of the storm. My vision is flooded with white. White ground, white-covered trees and bushes. The very air is filled with white sheets of angry snow.
I don’t see any of it though. I close my eyes, and all I see is a pair of rich brown eyes framed by long, delicate lashes.
Jessica.
I can’t believe this is how it will end. After everything I’ve lived through. After all I’ve survived! Only to die in my sleep? From some nightmare?
The sorrow seeps from my heart and fills my entire chest until I’m struggling for breath. This pain drowns out all others. My wrists, which feel broken, and my throbbing hands and knees are nothing compared to the heartbreak that’s crippling me.
The trees around me continue to crack and groan. I don’t care. All I can think about is that when I die tonight, no one will know. No one will be there to find my body. No one will come looking for me. And all I will have to look back on is a wasted life of delinquency and crime.
Maybe it’s best I die tonight. Maybe this is nature’s way of stopping me from becoming something worse than I already am. A true monster. Maybe I even agree.
But Jessica.
An earth-shaking explosion to my right
sends snow and dirt and branches raining down on me until I’m covered and there’s nothing left but darkness. The deafening ring in my ears blocks out all other sounds, but the ground trembles and shakes beneath me. Maybe it will open up and swallow me whole.
This is it. Any second now.
As a life of anger and hatred flashes before my eyes, I see hundreds of stupid choices I’ve made. I see dozens of people I’ve wronged, cheated, robbed. I see others who have tried to reach out and help me and I’ve only pushed them away. I see nothing that I can be proud of. This is the legacy I leave behind.
But of all the things I’ve done to regret, the one that hurts the most, the one that’s the source of my current agony, is that Jessica will never know how I feel about her.
She’ll never know that when I imagine myself happy, I imagine I’m with her. She won’t know that I hate the person I am because someone like me can never deserve someone like her. And she’ll never know that of all the people I’ve ever met, she’s the only one who has made me want to change.
The earth is still again. Why haven’t I died yet? The ringing in my ears is fading and I can hear something. What is that? It sounds like voices. I can’t make out the words but it sounds like voices yelling. Something steps on my leg and I jerk reflexively. A muffled voice shouts with excitement.
So I’m to be caught and tortured. This is more fitting, I guess. The snow covering my face begins to shift and the darkness starts to fall away. Words become clearer and I’m able to make out different voices now.
The blinding white of the snowstorm breaks through and temporarily steals my vision. When my eyes adjust, I’m met with a very confusing sight.
Standing over me is a young girl, my age. Her dark hair is covered in white flakes of snow, and her cheeks are rosy from the cold. The warmth of her smile starkly contrasts with our freezing surroundings.
“There you are!” She grins and kneels down beside me.
“How is he?” Another girl, one with fiery red hair blowing wildly in the wind from the storm, appears over her shoulder.
“Not bad. Suffering from shock though.”
The brown-haired girl gently wraps her hands around my wrists, and at the same time a third person joins us. A man holding guns at his sides backs himself against our small huddle and faces out. I’m not sure what he’s searching for, but it’s obvious he’s scanning the area for something. His alert posture suggests it can’t be good.
“Look at me,” the brunette says kindly. As soon as our eyes meet, I know I’m safe. I swallow a sob of relief. I’m not going to die. Maybe I’ll even get to see Jessica again. I don’t know how I know it, but these three people will protect me or die trying.
“What’s your name?” She releases my wrists and places her hands over my ears.
“Logan.” The ringing stops completely, and she moves her hands to my knees.
“Feeling better now, Logan? Do you think you can stand?”
The man with the guns tenses. “We’ve got inbound.”
“I can stand,” I say, awestruck as I support myself on the wrists that were broken only moments ago. “How did you do that?”
The two girls each throw one of my arms over their shoulders and guide me through the snow-laden foliage. I hear something crashing through the woods behind us.
“I’ll tell you all about it soon,” she assures me. “We’re almost to the clearing where the bikes are. A little bit farther and we’ll be home free.”
After stumbling a few more times over broken limbs and roots hiding under the snow, we come to the edge of a large clearing.
The redhead inhales sharply. “Uh Addy, I don’t know about ‘home free.’”
I look out ahead to see what they’re all staring at, and in the middle of the clearing is what can only be the bikes she had referenced—except they’re surrounded by a small army of the most horrifying creatures I could’ve ever imagined.
The beasts glisten with oily black flesh that stands out sharp against the pure snow. They nuzzle and nudge each other, eagerly pawing at the earth. Some circle the sky above the rest while some slither and crawl through the legs of others. The coldness that fills my heart at the sight of them has nothing to do with the weather.
The man touches something in his ear. “Walkers. Looks like we could use some backup after all.”
That’s when the first one sees us.
The air fills with shrieks and shouts and angry bellows, and the ground shakes so violently I’m having a hard time keeping my feet. The three strangers take a protective stance in front of me, but not before I see the herd of demons stampeding in our direction. It looks like I might not make it after all.
Don’t worry, Logan. You’ll make it through this just fine.
The girl with the brown hair—Addy, I think they called her—turns and winks at me. I hear her voice in my head again.
This is what we do. This is who we are. You’re one of us now. Let me be the first to say, Logan, welcome to Chaos.
Thank you for reading Chaos. If you enjoyed it, would you please take a moment to leave me a review on either your favorite retailer or on Goodreads.com?
Thank you!
CM Fenn
About the author:
CM Fenn grew up in Mesa, AZ. Along with being a wife and mother she is a proud veteran of the US Air Force and is currently a full time writer.
Growing up, CM wanted to be everything from a police officer to a professional rock climber. She never imagined she would one day write for a living.
CM is an animal lover and has owned over 14 types of animals and the list is still growing. You can usually find CM spending time with her growing family, reading (always), and stealing a few minutes of video game playing whenever she can.
CM currently resides in Clarksville, Tennessee with her husband and four children.
Follow me on Twitter: @CMFennWrites
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Chaos – The Realmwalker Chronicles #1
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Chaos (The Realmwalker Chronicles #1)
Visit my website: www.therealmwalkerchronicles.com
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Logan
About the author:
nn, Chaos (The Realmwalker Chronicles Book 1)