Path of Destruction

by Cara Dee

  She found handles underwater to hold on to instead, and she bit her lip, anticipation written all over. She was extra light in the water, so I only needed one hand to hold her up. I used the other one to drive her crazy.

  "Christ…" I kissed the inside of her thigh and ghosted my thumb over the slit of her pussy. "Stay still."

  "I'm trying," she whimpered.

  "Try harder." With that, I closed the last distance and licked the length of her wet slit. A breathless moan escaped her, and I hummed at the sweet taste. "You have the most perfect little pussy, baby." Sucking her clit into my mouth, I moved my hands so I could tease both openings.

  She was responsive as fuck, making me wonder if her time of the month was coming up. Given how little inspiration one got in prison, I'd clung to enough hot memories to remember how easy it'd been to get her off before and during her period.

  "Oh…oh God, Lincoln…"

  Ade came within a couple minutes, and I didn’t let up. I went harder, became greedier, and pushed for more. I tongue-fucked her slowly, deeply, while pushing the tip of my thumb inside her ass. Then I drew my tongue between her soft lips all the way up to her clit, where I started working on the next orgasm for her.

  "Oh, shit, shit." She gasped, one hand finding the back of my head. I hissed as she tugged at my hair. "Lincoln, I—ungh. So good, so good… I'm already c-close."

  I sucked hard on her clit, my teeth grazing the sensitive flesh. "Give it to me."

  Her breath hitched, and she tensed up. The sight caused my cock to throb and grow uncomfortably hard.

  I forced three fingers into her pussy, scissoring them inside her, and ate her out like a starving man. It set her off, and she shook in my grasp. Lifting her a bit higher, I switched to rub her clit through the orgasm with two fingers. And the taste… Motherfucker. I groaned against her entrance, devouring every drop she gave me.

  In the background, I heard the opening and closing of a door.

  Ade was oblivious, panting and gasping.

  I eased up slowly and withdrew from her, gathering her in my arms so we could sit back again. She was listless, her chest heaving, a delicious mess.

  "Hungry?" I kissed her shoulder. "Lunch is here."

  "Wh-what…?" She lifted her head as if it weighed a ton and looked adorably confused. "I could sleep forever."

  I chuckled. "I'd rather fuck you when you're awake." And trust, I had a serious itch to take her right then and there. But I could wait 'til after lunch. "Let's wash off and get some food."

  *

  While she was drowning in one of the robes provided by the hotel, I put on a pair of sweats and removed the fancy lids from the plates, revealing steaks, chicken, salmon, salad, roasted potatoes, some sauce, and garlic bread. I guess I wasn’t awesome at ordering shit. I tended to go through menus and get what sounded good.

  "Eh, we'll need the energy." I sat down next to her on the couch and pointed to the paperwork on the side. "Can you grab those for me, hon?"

  "Mmhmm." Ade seemed…spacey. She handed over the papers, only to scoot closer and rest her head on my shoulder. "I feel so relaxed right now."

  I peered down at my chest as her hand slid lazily across my pecs, and I let out a chuckle. "If I didn’t know any better, I'd think you're high."

  She snorted and sat up straighter, eyeing the food with casual interest. "I see you still order too much."

  "Eat. You don't get enough good food in you." I'd noticed she knew a thing or two about martyrdom, too. When they couldn’t afford much, she left the best for the boys and brought shitty noodles to work. "I'll be your entertainment for the next twenty minutes." I could already feel the nerves flaring up again. It was a big deal, and it'd taken me a month to put everything together.

  "Will you strip for me?" She smiled impishly and popped a piece of tomato into her mouth.

  I shook my head in amusement and flipped through the papers. "Okay, so here's the thing. I wanna get back to working with music, so I'm looking for a place to buy in Seattle—"

  "No," she whined, causing my brows to shoot up. "Lincoln, I'm currently having the best day in a long, long time. If you bring up Seattle and…whatnot, it's going to remind me of the things we haven't worked out yet. As of yesterday, there's another thing to worry about, and I wanna be selfish for one day. Please?"

  What the hell happened yesterday that she worried about? Shaking my head again, I shut that out for now. This was serious. "Are you done?" Because I knew the other worries we had, and that was the whole point of this conversation. "Shut your mouth and listen, woman." I refocused on the papers. "First of all, it looks like Kid's case is not only a hell'a lot simpler than mine, but it's possible he won't be called to a hearing. The lawyer thinks there's a good chance they'll just release him on parole after a review. Which means no hassle for government officials to hem and haw over, and therefore, I wanna ask him to apply to serve his parole time in Washington."

  Given he had virtually no one left in this state, I banked on him agreeing.

  "That’s where you and the boys come in." I cleared my throat, nervous. Mostly for Jesse. He would probably hate this idea at first. "You're outta your mind if you think I wanna leave you here."

  If I didn’t have Ade's attention before, I definitely had it now. She set down her salad and stared at her lap.

  "I don’t want to push you—or make you feel trapped," she admitted. "You’ve been held back for so long now, and I won't stand in the way of…whatever it is you wanna do. Go on tour, record a new album, reconnect with people in LA… I'll support you, and I'll be here for anything you want."

  I narrowed my eyes. "Is that what you want?"

  She shook her head quickly. "It's not my time to be selfish—"

  "Shut the fuck up and say what you want, Adeline."

  "That…doesn’t make any sense." She huffed and side-eyed me with a petulant little scowl. "You are an insufferable dick, Lincoln Hayes, but I love you. Okay? I love you, and I have ridiculous dreams about living together and being a family—all of us—and, and—"

  I slapped a hand over her mouth and grinned. "Me, too."

  Her shoulders lost some tension, and she looked to me warily. "Really?" The sound was muffled, so I lowered my hand again.

  "Yeah." I flicked the papers. "I've got listings for houses in here, too."

  "Really?" Girl was getting repetitive.

  I laughed under my breath and held them up. "All you gotta do is agree to move with me. And, you know, give the news to Jesse."

  She ignored that and took the paperwork from me. "You want us to move to Seattle?"

  "Well…" I showed her the right page. "A couple hours north of there."

  My hometown.

  We'd be out of that wasteland of a dead neighborhood we lived in now. No more concrete jungles. The way I figured, we could have a place in the city and our home in Camassia, where I grew up. It was a good town for families. Plenty of nature, right by the sea, good schools… I wasn’t sure about the public schools, but I knew my old one—a private school—had a hockey team. Abel would like it, I thought.

  "For the record," I said, wanting to make something crystal clear, "I'm not going on a fucking tour. I wanna get into production, nothing else. I wanna write and create."

  When Ade met my gaze again, her eyes were brimming with tears, and her bottom lip trembled.

  "Aw, tiny dancer, you really are going on the rag soon." I held her to me and pressed a kiss to her hair. "They're good tears, right? I kinda need to know." Before I lost it.

  With everything I was, I needed this to work.

  "Yeah." She sniffled and locked her arms around my neck. "The best tears."

  I exhaled in relief.

  "I'm not sure I'm getting my period, though." A whimper soon became a cry, and my relief was short-lived. What was happening now? "I'm late, Lincoln."

  I froze.

  No.

  "Shit." There was an invisible grip around my throat, hugging me a hu
ndred times harder than Ade was. "You mean…?" It had to mean something else.

  "I'm sorry," she cried. "I didn’t realize it until yesterday." Sitting back on the couch, she wept into her hands while I sat there fucking paralyzed. This wasn’t happening. It was too fast, too much. "I wanted to forget about it 'til tomorrow. Then you tell me all this…and I want it so much, Lincoln."

  I stood up. I didn’t know why. Reflex? I had to do something. This wasn’t happening. It wasn’t happening, goddammit. Oh fuck, I was gonna hurl. Sensitive tits, extra emotional; she fucking was extra emotional. The girl was on the express train to Weepytown. I palmed my forehead, my mind spinning. She'd been so responsive in the hot tub. Didn’t that happen during pregna—I couldn’t even finish the thought.

  "Now I'm scared," she wept. "And it's irrational, right? I mean, you wouldn’t leave me or desert your plans for us if I'm pregnant, would you? So why does that terrify me?"

  "I'm pretty sure I'm more terrified than you right now, baby," I muttered. Action, action, I had to do something. She didn’t know for sure, so she should get one of those tests, yeah? I could get one. Wait—what did she say, again? I scowled at her. "Don't be an idiot. Of course I wouldn’t leave you, but right now, you gotta piss on a stick. I'll go buy tests."

  Before panic took control of me, I left the room to get dressed.

  *

  The nearest drugstore was eight blocks away, and it was amazing how much your shit-dipped existence could change in that time.

  It's gonna be okay.

  Sure, whatever.

  Technically, I knew that. I was forty years old and wanted nothing more than to lead a somewhat normal life with Ade. That included Jesse, Abel, Kid, and even Madigan. Because that was the thing. I hadn't made any friends here. I'd found a big family. While there was plenty to work on, it was something to work on. Something to fight for. And yeah, even as I was panicking about the possibility of Ade being knocked up with my kid…well, she could be pregnant with my kid.

  I scrubbed a hand over my face, continuing down the street. So, now what? I was just gonna repeat things in my head like a fucking moron? I didn’t know what I was thinking.

  Unwelcome images of a round belly filled my head, and I grimaced. That wasn’t smart thinking. My possessive ass needed to chill. It was too fast. Making plans for us, buying a house…that was one thing. I had almost a whole year to ease into that new life. There had to be balance. I couldn’t lose myself in the good shit while I had anger management, therapy, and all these damn rules hanging over my head.

  Entering the little drugstore, I went straight for the register and asked where I could find pregnancy tests. Yeah, yeah, old man, I know what you're thinking. Perfect Valentine's surprise, hey? I bet I looked thrilled, too.

  I bought four tests and got the fuck out of there.

  Was it a boy or a girl?

  "Are you kidding me?" I snapped at myself.

  The strangers walking next to me gave me looks that said I belonged in a mental ward.

  They weren't necessarily wrong.

  Back at the hotel, I took the elevator up to our room. Or doom. I wasn’t picky.

  Picture me as a dad?

  Gut punch.

  There'd be a little runt running around calling me Daddy.

  And a kick in the nuts for that.

  My chest seized up at the same time, and I wasn’t sure it was an entirely bad feeling. I did like it when Abel asked me to come over. We were forming a good friendship, I thought.

  The elevator dinged, and I stepped out.

  Here we go.

  I found Ade in the same spot. She wasn’t crying anymore, and when I extended the bag from the drugstore to her, she took it without much of a reaction and headed toward the bathroom.

  I followed, my heart pounding.

  "Dude, you're not coming in here when I pee."

  I frowned. She wasn’t serious, was she?

  Except, she was, and she didn’t unlock the door until a heart attack later.

  Then we waited.

  I sat down on the floor and pulled Ade with me.

  "It's gonna be okay," I said hoarsely.

  She didn’t say anything. She stared at the little stick on the lid of the toilet, and I…kinda went blank for a while. I managed to shrug out of my jacket and kick off my shoes.

  Were we having a baby?

  I shuddered.

  "I'm sorry I ruined our day," she whispered.

  She didn’t. "You didn’t." I wrapped my arms around her middle and hugged her to me, my chin resting on her shoulder. "How long?"

  "Two minutes."

  They were the longest two minutes I'd endured for months.

  "I don’t have my life together yet," I murmured. "My therapist keeps telling me to go slow."

  It boiled down to not making the same mistake twice. With our history in mind, I didn’t wanna be too impulsive for fear I'd fuck up too badly.

  "I would do my best to—"

  "Don't finish that sentence, tiny dancer." I gave her a squeeze, knowing her well enough to be sure she was about to lessen the burden, for lack of a better word, for me. And I didn’t wanna hear it. I wanted to be needed.

  She exhaled shakily. "Are we in this together, no matter what?"

  I nodded. "I'm never leaving your side again."

  The relief in her was palpable.

  The rest of the wait passed in silence. My thoughts slowed, accepting the reality, as terrifying as it was.

  "I think…" She reached for the stick. That made me tense up, and I held my breath as she turned the stick over.

  Not pregnant.

  They were the actual words on the digital display. Not pregnant.

  "Oh," she breathed.

  Not pregnant.

  "Is, uh—" I cleared my throat. "Can anything else cause… I mean, you said you're late."

  "I am." She shifted on my lap so she sat sideways, and I saw the little crease between her brows, so maybe she was as confused as I was. "I suppose stress… Big changes, poor health. I've been late before, but not so I've skipped one."

  I wouldn’t know about health, though stress and big changes fit the bill damn well. She worked way too much. Something had to give there, and it'd be my pleasure to use this against her in order for her to chill. She could start by quitting the clinic. I didn’t want her around that Houston motherfucker, anyway.

  "Are you okay?" I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

  She nodded slowly and set down the test on the floor. "You?"

  Uh, yeah. Considering my head was completely empty, I guess everything was okay. "I think so." Though, I had to admit I'd expected to be downright thrilled. I wasn’t. "Wanna rest for a bit?"

  This time, her nod came quicker.

  Carrying her to the bedroom, I waited for the relief to hit me. It should've been overwhelming and all-fucking-consuming. It wasn’t. There was a blanket of numbness, and it lasted until I got rid of our clothes and we were under the covers.

  The only thing that struck me with force was the need to be close, so I held her to me and focused on what I had, not on what wasn’t going to be.

  "I love you."

  She burrowed even closer and tucked her head under my chin. "I love you, too."

  Chapter 33

  Adeline Ivey

  The morning after, I got my period. And the cramps from hell.

  Maybe it was fitting. I came home last night to a message from Dr. Anderson, who was calling me in for a meeting today. Yay, me. Cramps, getting fired…so what was next? Bad things came in threes, didn’t they?

  It was early when I started making breakfast, leaving too much space for my mind to wander.

  Not safe.

  In the same breath, I couldn’t find it in me to care about much. I could thank Lincoln for that. Yesterday's revelations, the whole thing about Seattle and Camassia Cove…I could cry. My head was too messed up at the moment, but I knew the sheer joy was in there somewhere. He was going
all in, and so was I. I wanted it more than anything.

  I winced at the pain in my lower stomach and opened the fridge. Coffee was brewing, Abel would be up in twenty minutes, I was showered and dressed… I poked at my temporary apathy, wondering if it had anything to do with the pregnancy test result.

  Of course, stupid.

  I distracted myself by making a bigger breakfast than usual. We had ingredients for muffins, so I did a plateful of those. Then it was time to do the eggs, which was around the same time Abel woke up.

  Jesse followed shortly after, having an early class.

  "Did you have fun yesterday?" Abel asked.

  I nodded and mustered a smile. "I did." I gave him a glass of juice, spotting Lincoln walking up our pathway. He was early and seemed to be in a similar mood to mine.

  "Morning." There was nothing subtle about his greeting today. After hanging up his jacket, he kissed me in front of the boys and then gave me a bear hug. "I missed you last night," he whispered. "How're you feeling?"

  I melted into him. Hold me tighter.

  "Told you they're getting married, Jesse," Abel said.

  I was riding a hormone high, so I both smiled and got teary-eyed. Luckily, I hid it against Lincoln's chest.

  "I got my period." I kept my voice down so only he would hear. "I have a meeting today, too. Dr. Anderson wants to see me at eight."

  Lincoln tightened the hug, and it felt so damn good. I remembered feeling the same years and years ago. The warmth, the protection, the comfort. The love.

  "I'll go with you."

  "What? No, you don’t have to—"

  "I didn’t ask." He shushed me with a quick kiss. "I have therapy at ten, so I don’t start work until later anyway. Let me go with you." He cupped my cheek, brows furrowed in concern. "I won't lose my shit on that Houston prick, I promise."

  Christ, I hadn't even thought of that. He was making light of it, a small smirk tugging at his lips, and I wasn’t sure I could go there yet. But, he deserved a chance. I had to trust his judgment.

  "If you're sure," I conceded.

  *

  A little before eight, he and I stood outside the clinic.

  He was smoking a cigarette, and I was wondering where the hell my feelings had gone. I should be terrified, anxious, nervous—anything. Ironically, my emotions could be set off at any moment. I felt it. I'd just seemingly lost my opinion on everything that usually mattered. Like work.