by Jules Verne
Ox: Here's an inn. Call out, and someone will serve you. Meanwhile, we'll get ready for our dangerous descent.
Tartelet: Get ready! But why? After all, you can cover hundreds of leagues in one leap.
Ox (to George): Are we simply going to reach our goal without seeing or understanding or studying anything?
George: No, of course not.
Ox: Do you want to remain in ignorance of all the secrets and mysteries in order to avoid all the dangers?
George: No, no!
Ox: Come on, then.
Tartelet: Go ahead, you'll meet me back here. (Exit George, Eva, and Ox.) Now, let's call out. Hello! Waiter!
(Enter the innkeeper)
Innkeeper (watching the three disappear): Well, well. A traveler.
Tartelet: Yes indeed. Come over here, waiter. You look surprised.
Innkeeper: Yes sir, very surprised.
Tartelet: Are you all alone here, then, waiter?
Innkeeper: Yes, except for a Dane who arrived yesterday.
Tartelet: A Dane. I once knew a Dane, a Great Dane he was, very tall and handsome, with splendid ears and a long snout. A beautiful dog.
Innkeeper: No, no. This one is a young man.
Tartelet: Oh, I see. A two-legged Dane. Tell me, waiter, what can you bring me to eat?
Innkeeper: There's nothing left at the moment. The Dane ate it all.
Tartelet: That's all right. Give me some anyway-and not too well done.
Innkeeper: Right away, sir. (Exit.)
(Enter Valdemar, followed by the innkeeper)
Valdemar (nodding to Tartelet): Ah, that was a good lunch I had! Maybe even a little too good.
Tartelet: It's the Dane. And he doesn't have a long snout.
Valdemar: Well, well. A foreigner. Mr.... uh?
Tartelet (nodding to him): Sir! ... (Aside) What an awkward way of speaking! He doesn't even know how to greet people properly.
Valdemar: Good day, sir. Mr.... uh? Usually, when people meet someone in their travels, even at the ends of the earth or farther, they soon get acquainted. May I be so bold as to ask your name?
Tartelet: Professor Tartelet.
Valdemar (aside): A professor! He's a scientist! (Aloud) What country are you from, sir?
Tartelet: I'm French. I was born in Asnieres.''
Valdemar: Asnieres. Ah, yes, Asnieres de Bigorre.'6 I know that place.
Tartelet: No you don't.
Valdemar: Are you married, Mr. Tartelet?
Tartelet: No, why do you ask?
Valdemar: Then you don't have any little Tartelets?
Tartelet: No.
Valdemar (laughs): No little Tarts?
Tartelet: No little.... (Aside) Who is this big oaf? (He looks at Valdemar's feet) Ah, those feet!
Valdemar: I beg your pardon?
Tartelet: Out, young man, out.
Valdemar (surprised): Out? He's sending me away. He wants to be alone.
Tartelet: Where are you going?
Valdemar: You told me to go out.
Tartelet: I meant you should point your toes out. It's what we call the choreographic angle.
Valdemar: The what?
Tartelet (touching him with the tip of his bow): Farther apart. Farther, farther. (Valdemar nearly falls down) That's fine, just like that.
Valdemar: Oh, you think that's fine, do you? A funny kind of scientist you are!
Tartelet: I have the honor of speaking to Mr.... ?
Valdemar: Axel" Valdemar, from Copenhagen.
Tartelet: Excellent! Well, Mr. Axel Vladimir...
Valdemar: Excuse me, it's Valdemar.
Tartelet: All right, all right.
Valdemar: And you've come from ... ?
Tartelet: From Aalborg.
Valdemar: You came by train?
Tartelet: No.
Valdemar: By ship?
Tartelet: No.
Valdemar: By stage coach?
Tartelet: No, I ran.
Valdemar: You ran?
Tartelet: On electricity.
Valdemar: You ran on electricity!
Tartelet: Yes.
Valdemar: And where are you going?
Tartelet (pointing to the ground): Down there!
Valdemar: Into the cellar?
Tartelet: Lower.
Valdemar: Lower my voice? Why? Is anyone listening to us?
Tartelet: Underground. To the center.
Valdemar: To the center of the earth?
Tartelet: Through the crater.
Valdemar: That's not possible.
Tartelet: It's not possible, but we'll do it, my friend. Your feet! (Correcting his position) Your feet!
Valdemar: (Aside) Again! A funny kind of scientist he is!
Tartelet: And you, Mr. Vladimir?
Valdemar: Val ... demar, if you please.
Tartelet: Very well. Now it's your turn to tell me about yourself. Where are you going, Mr. Vladimir?
Valdemar (aside): He insists on calling me Vladimir! (Aloud) I'm going to a place, Mr. Tartelet, where a man can make his fortune.
Tartelet: That's a place I haven't found yet.
Valdemar: You see, I'm in love with a charming young lady in Copenhagen, Miss Babichok.18
Tartelet: And naturally, Miss Babichok is not in love with you, Mr. Vladimir.
Valdemar: Vladimir again! I told you my name is Valdemar.
Tartelet: Ah! Excuse me, young man. It's just that there are some names I can't manage to pronounce, and I don't think I'd ever be able to say yours. I'd rather call you Matthew. Is that all right?
Valdemar: Matthew suits me fine. I once had a good friend named Matthew.
Tartelet: So did I.
Valdemar: He was an astronomer.
Tartelet: Matthew Laensberg, it was. You said your name is Valdemar?
Valdemar: Oh, so you can say it now. Good!
Tartelet: Excuse me, I was mistaken. You were saying that Babichok...?
Valdemar: Is madly in love with me. Ah! What a woman! What a soul! What a heart! And beautiful! When I think about it, I get palpitations19-right here. (With great feeling) Do you know about palpitations? I think you call them "battements" in French.
Tartelet: Do I know about battements? Of course. In ballet there are big ones and small ones.
Valdemar (surprised): Big ones and small ones?
Tartelet: You raise one leg and move it up and down, while the other leg supports the whole weight of the body. Try it.
Valdemar: Try what?
Tartelet: Some battements. Like this. (He demonstrates) Try it.
Valdemar: (Aside) He's not well! That isn't the kind of palpitation I'm talking about. What a funny kind of scientist!
Tartelet: I'm wondering why you haven't married Babichok, if she loves you so much.
Valdemar: There were two obstacles to our union. In the first place, Babichok considered me too fat and too thin.
Tartelet: How can that be?
Valdemar: Too fat physically and too thin financially.
Tartelet: I see.
Valdemar: Well, yes, I am a little on the plump side, I told her, but when it comes to something you love, the more of it you have, the better. Perhaps she might have gone along with my corpulence, seeing that she was rather skinny herself. Between us, we would have averaged out to make a nice little well-padded couple.
Tartelet: Yes, one would have made up for the other. The only problem left, then, was....
Valdemar: Money! She simply would not let go of that idea. She loves me too much. Valdemar, she would say, I want you to be rich, very rich. I want you to have a fine carriage and beautiful hair-I mean beautiful horses-and beautiful hair, too, of course, and a lovely hotel where I can adore my idol to my heart's content. But to see you in poverty, in misery, I couldn't stand it. I'd rather put up with someone else than endure the pain of sharing your poverty. Tell me, Mr. Tartelet, is that not true love?
Tartelet: That is perfect love. First class.
; Valdemar: And so I left in the hope of making my fortune, and by traveling to develop the brilliant qualities of my soul.
Tartelet: You did the right thing. Matthew! Your feet!
Valdemar: I've seen many countries in my time, and benefited from that experience, if I may be so bold as to say so. I've studied the way of life, I've observed the costu ... the customs, and I've jotted down all my poetic impressions in this notebook.
Tartelet: That must be a remarkable notebook.
Valdemar: Look at this, now. "France: admirable country. Paris: admirable country."
Tartelet: That's brief and to the point.
Valdemar: I have to make myself understood. "In Paris, we ate beef, veal, and mutton. Switz ..."20
Tartelet: Swiss mutton?
Valdemar: No, no. There's a period in there. "Switzerland: admirable country. Geneva: admirable country, ate veal, mutton, and beef. Italy: Rome. Rome!"
Tartelet: Ate veal, beef, and mutton.
Valdemar: No. I let you say that, just to be polite, but there isn't any there. All they eat there is goat's meat, the way they eat macaroni here.
Tartelet: And you're writing all these impressions for Miss Babichok?
Valdemar: Naturally. It will be interesting for her, and for Cousin Finderup,21 who stayed behind with her.
Tartelet: Aha! There's Cousin Finderup, is there?
Valdemar: Yes. He's a friend of mine. A good lad. He's supposed to write to me at each of my stops, with news of my fiancee. As soon as I've made my fortune....
Tartelet: Well, have you made it yet?
Valdemar: Not yet, but I'm not discouraged. I'll do it. For her, mind you, I'll undertake the impossible.
Tartelet: The impossible. That's exactly where we're going. Will you come with us?
Valdemar: Where?
Tartelet: There. Down below.
Valdemar: In the cellar?
Tartelet: To the center of the earth.
Valdemar: What for?
Tartelet: Why, to make our fortune. Isn't that the general storehouse of valuable things? Silver, gold, diamonds? Don't the most precious things in the world come from the bowels of the earth?
Valdemar: That's true, yes. It's the central treasure house. All you have to do is help yourself. But I don't have the key.
Tartelet: We have it!
Valdemar: And will you take me with you?
Tartelet: Yes, if you agree to drink a few drops of a certain potion. It will take you there in a second.
Valdemar: Will we be running?
Tartelet: Running on electricity.
Valdemar: And where is this potion?
Tartelet: I have a vial of it here. I drank some by mistake, but you'll drink it out of ambition.
Valdemar: Ah, Mr. Tartelet, I'm so fortunate to have met you! One drop. Just one little drop.
Tartelet: All right, but on one condition.
Valdemar: I agree to it in advance.
Tartelet: For two hours a day, you must place your feet in the third position.
Valdemar: What do you call the third position?
Tartelet: Look. Like this.
Valdemar (He is surprised, but obeys): All right, I'll do it. But what good does it do you if I place my feet in the third position? You're a professor.
Tartelet: A dancing teacher, my friend.
Valdemar: A dancing teacher! And I thought you were a scientist!
Tartelet: Let's go and have a drop of that potion.
Valdemar: Yes, yes, a drop. Let's go and have a drop. (Exit.)
(Enter George, Ox, and Eva)
George: Everything is ready. If there are risks to be run, you won't tremble?
Eva: No, of course not.
Ox (to George): Do you want to go?
George: Right now. There's the crater of Vesuvius, open to anyone brave enough to go down into it. Even if it were to close behind us, what would it matter? Let's go.
Ox: All right, then. To the center of the earth!
(Enter Master Volsius, disguised as Professor Lidenbrok.)
Volsius: To the center of the earth! Ah! Those are great and resounding words. And the hope of getting there, it seems to me, is a wonderful madness. Ah!
George: To whom have we the honor of speaking, sir?
Volsius: Professor Lidenbrok.
George: Professor Lidenbrok! You're the one who went....
Volsius: Several hundred leagues under the earth, and no more, because it would have been impossible to go farther. And you find me here in Naples, within sight of Vesuvius, because a lava eruption carried me back up to the surface of the earth. It looked like a beautiful country to me, and I've decided to stay here for a while.
Ox: So, then, professor, you declare that it's impossible to go beyond the limits where you yourself were forced to stop.
Volsius (laughing): Exactly, sir. Exactly.
George: Is it forbidden, then, to try to win glory by a route that others have not been able to follow?
Volsius: Ah! That route is already marked out, sir. Parallel to the crater of Vesuvius, whose smoke you can see from here, there is another crater, an extinct one, which will take you where I went, if you feel so inclined.
Ox: We have to go in farther than that.
Volsius (laughing): Farther! Ah!
George: And we will.
Volsius: I stopped, gentlemen, when it was impossible to go any farther.
Ox (sarcastically): When you didn't dare go any farther.
Volsius: You think so! Upon my word, gentlemen, you are very brave. Your bold attempt fills me with enthusiasm and makes me want to start the journey over again with you.
George: Please do.
Eva: Oh yes, come, sir, do come. I don't know why, but I find your presence reassuring.
Volsius (hesitating): Well, it's decided, then. You want to go....
Ox: To the center of the globe.
Volsius: I don't know why you risk your lives in such ventures, but I'll go with you and be your guide.
Ox: Come, then.
Eva: George, in heaven's name!
Volsius (aside to Eva): Let him go, miss. There are limits at which they will be forced to acknowledge human frailty, and they will not go beyond them. Come, my child, come.
(Exit all.)
The stage represents an immense crypt, with depressions and openings on all sides, as far as the eye can see. Stalactites hang everywhere. Negotiable rocks, at the reap; make it possible to get down to the floor of these natural catacombs. George, Ox, Volsius, and Eva are standing on the rocks.
(Enter Tartelet and Valdemar)
Tartelet: Hurry along, young Valdemar.
Valdemar (appearing at the top of the rocks): Here I am! Here I am!
Tartelet: Damn! This road isn't good for a dancer's legs. (To Valdemar): Be very careful not to twist an ankle.
Valdemar: Don't worry.
Ox: Come on, George Hatteras, onward, ever onward!
George: I'm right behind you, doctor. This is the abyss. It draws me on, and I'll go down to the very bottom of it.
(They begin to descend.)
Volsius (to Eva): Don't be afraid, my child. This is not where the danger lies.
Eva: I'm not afraid for myself, but only for him.
Volsius: We are going to stop here for a bit.
George: Where are we?
Volsius: Why, at my home.
Ox: Indeed! This, I believe, is the farthest point reached by Master Lidenbrok.
Volsius: I might mention, if anyone is interested, that these caverns lie under central Europe, under France, and more precisely, at the point where we are standing now, under Paris.
Valdemar: Under Paris! Directly over my head is Paris, which I have visited with great affection, and the noise of that great city cannot be heard. (A few distant rumblings are heard.) Yes, it can! It sounds like a great rattling of carriages. We must be right under "accident corner."22
Eva (to Volsius): But what is this noise?
Volsius: It's a rumbling that occurs at intervals deep inside the earth.
Valdemar: It's an earthquake! Let's get away from here. (Exit)
Ox: Well, George Hatteras, what do you think of these immense spaces going on and on forever under oceans and continents, and containing cities and mountains? Did you expect to find a whole underground vegetation here, where the warm and humid environment turns the humblest of earth's plants into trees? Or this air, made luminous by pressure, which lights up the silent catacombs?
Volsius: Surely the contemplation of these wonders is enough to satisfy your ambitions for travel.
George: What would be the use of the new vital power that Dr. Ox has given our bodies if we were only going where others have gone before, where you yourself have gone? This is simply the extraordinary,23 not the impossible.
Ox (aside): Good, good!
(Valdemar utters a loud shout offstage)
Eva: What can that be?
Tartelet: It's Valdemar's voice.
(Enter Valdemar)
Valdemar (terrified): Ah! Here you are!
Tartelet: What happened?
Valdemar (showing him a stone): This stone.... Do you see this stone?
Tartelet: That's a funny-looking stone.
Valdemar: It's not an ordinary stone, so I'm keeping it. But another thing that's unusual is the force with which it was thrown at my back.
Tartelet: Thrown? By whom?
Valdemar: By whom? That's what I'd like to know. There must be people here. And feel how heavy it is for its size.
Volsius: Everything is heavy here, young man.
Valdemar: What do you mean, everything is heavy here?
Ox: Of course. It's the natural effect of gravity.
Valdemar: Gravity?
Volsius: And if we reached the center, even your wallet would become so heavy it would make a hole in your pocket.
Valdemar: My wallet? Mine? As heavy as that? Now that would be a surprise.
Ox: And that's not all. Even the acoustics are different in this place where the air is under enormous pressure.
George: You mean that noises and sounds take on a tremendous intensity here?
Tartelet: So they do! When young Valdemar shouted just now, it sounded like cattle bellowing.
Valdemar: Cattle bellowing!
Tartelet: Well then, the violin I use for my dancing lessons would have a completely different tone here.
Volsius: Try it.
Tartelet: Right away. (He picks up his violin and plays a gavotte with a surprisingly powerful sound.)