“I wish. No, we are taking things slow for now,” I said and rolled my eyes. “But man I’d be happy to get my hands on her any day of the week. She was looking fantastic the last time I saw her. Delicious even,” I said as my body reacted to just the thought of Julia from out date night.
“You will, I’m sure.”
I wasn’t exactly sure what Bruce was implying. It might have just been a joke, but I didn’t take it well at all. Was he assuming that I’d keep moving things along until I got my way with Julia? Because I wasn’t going to push her into a sexual relationship again. If she just wanted to date and not do anything else that was fine with me. Although she had offered to invite me in on our last date, it didn’t seem right. If we had been on a real first date she wouldn’t have invited me in and I knew it.
I wasn’t as nervous about the upcoming ultrasound as I was sure Julia was. Throughout our text messaging I always heard about the baby flutters and it sounded like she was feeling very well. Soon she was going to feel the first real kicks and I couldn’t wait to hear her excitement when that happened.
Being a doctor I had talked to women about the kicks several times, but I’d never had such a close personal relationship with a woman who was going through pregnancy. It was fun for me to hear all about it from her end of things.
By the time three o’clock rolled around I was deep into my day of seeing patients and decided to keep working unless Julia asked me to come in. I heard her and her friends after they called Julia’s name and even when they got into the ultra sound room I still heard the uproar of the group of them together.
It was hard for me not to burst in there and just sit and watch the whole thing. But Julia hadn’t text me back and asked for me to come and I didn’t feel like she really wanted me there. I kept my eye on the room as Bruce went in with the ultra sound tech.
“She’ll be okay,” Sheryl reassured me.
“Oh, yeah, I know. I’m just excited to see if she if finding out the gender.”
“You should go in.”
“No, I’ll let her have the moment,” I said as I grabbed my next patients chart and went in to visit with her and her husband.
I’d become pretty good at zoning out the outside world when I was in with a patient. There were always things to worry about. Always something going on with the business or some commotion in the waiting area. But when I was in the room with a patient I did my absolute best to devote myself to that person and only them.
About halfway through meeting with the new couple I was with, I heard a scream. It was not something we heard very often around our office. Except in bad situations, like when a baby didn’t have a heart beat or some other dramatic issue had arisen during the test.
“I better go make sure everyone is okay,” I said as I excused myself from the patient room and hurried down to the ultra sound.
I should have just gone in with her. Why was I such an ass?
“It’s okay. Everything is okay,” Bruce said as he stood right by the door when I burst in there.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
Julia was staring at the ultra sound and hadn’t even noticed I was in the room. Sarah and Kendra were jumping up and down and screaming like wild women. The ultra sound tech was casually going about her job and getting measurements. Then I saw what the commotion was all about. There were two babies!
I went over to Julia and squeezed my way in next to her. Her hands were resting on her chest and I grabbed one of them as I stared at the picture on the screen with her. We could hear the loud beating of two heart beats and I was overcome with emotions as I looked and saw Julia looking up at me.
“I’m having twins,” she said with tears rolling down her face.
“You sure like to do things big, don’t you?” I said and gave her a sweet peck on the forehead.
“Congratulations, you two,” Bruce said as he stood at the end of the bed Julia was on.
We continued staring at the ultra sound picture as the tech moved the device around and did all the things she needed to for her report. Julia looked really pale though and she wasn’t talking at all.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Girl, I can’t believe this. This is amazing. Twins is like the jackpot. Do you know what gender they are? Do you want to have one of those cool gender reveal parties? I could totally help throw you one of those,” Kendra said.
“No, I don’t think she wants to know,” I said when I realized Julia wasn’t even listening to any of us. “Write it down and put it in an envelope for her for later though.” I asked the tech.
Kendra and Sarah were still bouncing off the walls with excitement but I could tell something was wrong with Julia. She wasn’t happy or sad at the moment. Instead, she was blankly staring at the ultrasound screen even though the procedure was over.
“Girls, I think she might need a minute. Maybe I could bring her home later?”
“Sure, she’s at the new place now anyways. They just brought her boxes over the day before yesterday,” Kendra said.
“Perfect. I’ll take care of her. Thanks, ladies.”
“It’s going to be amazing,” Kendra said as she leaned down and hugged Julia.
“We will help you whenever you need us to,” Sarah added. “It’s going to be fantastic. Think of all the adorable sweet pictures you’ll have and all the fun times at the park. It’s going to be so awesome,” Sarah added in an effort to get some sort of reaction from Julia, but there was nothing.
Julia barely managed to hug her friends and after helping her sit up I was really worried about her. She was still staring off into space a little, very pale, and I thought for sure she was going to pass out at any moment.
“Julia, I need to know if you’re feeling okay,” I said as I stood right in front of her.
She shook her head yes, but I didn’t believe her at all. I had seen this reaction to multiples before. It was often what happened when a single woman decided to have a baby on her own and didn’t consider the natural ability of the body to make more than one baby. When couples were in my office for fertility issues and such, they were excited about multiples. Well except my favorite couple, Nathan and Mary. They had been trying to have a baby for ten years and used all their money for the process. So when they found out they were having triplets and were still living in a tiny one bedroom walk-up in Queens, it wasn’t the best news.
“Sheryl, will you come stay with Julia for a second?” I hollered from the room.
She was there in a second and stood in my spot as I hustled around the office to get what I needed for Julia. I made up a comfortable spot on the couch in my office. Grabbed some snacks from the fridge and some Gatorade for her to drink. I pulled a pamphlet that we had on multiples and being a single parent, since we had this happen every now and again with our fertility practices. Then I hurried back to Julia’s room and Sheryl helped me get her into my office.
“Rest here. Eat some food. I have a few patients I need to see. Sheryl and I will be right out there if you need anything,” I said as I sat her down.
Julia leaned back on the couch but still wasn’t exactly reacting to me. She was still staring off at the wall when I closed the door, leaving it open a crack so we could check on her.
“She doesn’t look good,” Sheryl whispered.
“Yeah, I don’t think she paid attention during the part of the insemination process where we talk about the possibility of multiples.
“Did she do hormones?”
“I think she was on a low level one from her primary before the insemination. But it looked like identical twins from what I saw of the ultra sound. Same amniotic sac.”
“Boys or girls?” Sheryl asked.
“I didn’t get a good look. But I think the surprise will be nice,” I said before hurrying back into the patients room that I had left earlier.
I apologized profusely before getting back on track with the new couple. Luckily they were very understanding of the i
nterruption and we were able to finish our appointment rather quickly. I had four other patients I saw throughout the rest of the afternoon and made sure to look through the crack in my door whenever I had a break to check on Julia.
She had moved to lying down on the couch and at some point had eaten a few of the snacks I brought in there and sipped the drink. She looked like she was sleeping when I finally wrapped up my day and opened the door to come in. But when I sat next to her on the couch I realized she wasn’t sleeping at all. She was crying softly into the pillow that she was hugging tightly. Julia looked so sad, so utterly devastated.
Chapter 17
Julia
I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t know anyone in my family that had twins. It wasn’t even on my radar during the initial appointments. I had only taken a couple doses of the hormones my other doctor had prescribed and he said it wasn’t a strong one at all. He said the hormones would just ensure a viable egg was released each month.
Being a single mom sounded so exciting when it was just one baby. I had wrapped my brain around all of that responsibility. I hadn’t considered the possibility that there would be more than one baby.
I had gotten myself into this situation and I had no way of getting out of it. Somehow I had to find the courage to figure this out and it was overwhelming me. The problem was that I could hardly breathe. The whole thing was going to be an absolute disaster and instead of having a wonderful time being a young mother I was going to hate it, I just knew it. I wasn’t going to sleep at all because I’d be up all night feeding them. How was I ever going to keep my career on track with twins at home? Somewhere down the line I would start gaining a ton of weight because I wasn’t taking good care of myself.
I sobbed quietly in Mike’s office until he finished his work and came in to sit with me. I couldn’t stop crying when he got there and when he sat next to me and rubbed my leg, it just made me cry more.
“Why are you crying? This is exciting. You’re going to have two beautiful babies,” he said delicately.
“I know I should be happy. I know, but how am I going to take care of two babies? I was already going to be pretty bad at taking care of one of them,” I said through my tears.
“It’s just the same as one baby, you just do everything twice.” Mike tried to be upbeat, but that just made me even more overwhelmed.
“It’s not my plan,” I managed to get out.
“Was it your plan to meet me?” Mike asked as he leaned down and put his face in front of me. “Sometimes plans don’t go the way you want them but they still turn out pretty damn good. I mean, I think it turned out good. And those babies of yours are going to be so adorable since they have my genes,” he continued on until he finally got me to crack a smile.
“It’s not funny, Mike. How am I going to take care of two babies?”
“You will figure it out. You’re one of the smartest women I know. I don’t think having two babies is going to bring you down. You’ll rise to the occasion. You’ll make the absolutely best out of it. And I have a feeling once you meet those two bundles, that you’ll be perfectly happy with having twins.”
“Thanks,” I said and started to wipe my tears as I sat up on the couch. “It’s just hard to see past all the stress right now.” It was nearly impossible to see past the stress, actually. But having Mike there trying to cheer me up was really helpful. He stayed there with me and we ate more of the snacks and talked for hours about my stress and worries over bringing two babies into this world.
Some of the things I was worried about were logical. Like the logistics of paying for a nanny or getting two cribs into the small den of my new condo. Then there were other things that were less logical, like how big my boobs were going to get if I wanted to breast feed. Or what combination of foods I’d always have to keep in the house when they were teenagers and didn’t like the same things. My mind was all over the place with the idea of having two babies, which would turn into two kids and two teenagers and then two adults.
“How about we concentrate on the here and now before we start worrying about the feeding habits of teenagers,” Mike said with a small smile. “One day at a time here. For right now, you should concentrate on relaxing. All this stress isn’t good for the babies or for you.”
“Relaxing, I don’t even know what that is anymore. I just got over to the new condo and I can’t find anything in my boxes. I don’t even have my bed set up. I slept on the mattress on the floor last night,” I laughed.
“Well, that’s something I can help you with. How about I stop by the fifteenth floor and help you get set up a little bit so you can get a good night sleep?”
It was the sweetest thing Mike could have offered to do. I didn’t want to lift all the heavy wood pieces to my bed and hadn’t gotten around to having Kendra and Sarah over to help me yet.
“Perfect. And let’s get some food on the way home, I’m starving,” I said as I looked at the pile of snacks we had just devoured.
“Of course,” Mike agreed without making mention of the plethora of food I’d already devoured. “I’m starving too.”
I didn’t think he was telling the truth about still being hungry, but it was really sweet that he was trying to make me not feel bad about it. Mike arranged a car for us and we swung past my favorite Indian joint to grab some take out before heading back to our condo building.
The building didn’t feel like home to me yet, but it was so inviting to arrive in the front doors and have the smiling doorman greeting us. I was going to like it there; I knew it the moment I’d decided to buy my condo.
The elevator had glass mirrors throughout the inside and as Mike and I got in I noticed my stomach was showing more than I thought it was. I turned and admired the growing bump in the mirror and Mike stood behind me and did the same.
“You’ll start getting big faster now. Those two little ones are going to be growing a lot the next few weeks.”
“I can’t believe I didn’t realize I was having twins. Should I be bigger than this by now? Am I not eating enough?”
“It’s your first pregnancy so a lot of times women don’t start showing until around now. I think you are right on track.”
I lifted my shirt a little and looked at how round my stomach was from that angle. It was amazing how I was growing two human beings inside of me at that moment. I suddenly felt more at peace about everything. Of course, I was still really overwhelmed about how I would manage with two children. But nature was a powerful thing and I knew that I would be more excited after I got to meet my two little ones.
“Did they say what the gender was?” I asked as I realized I hadn’t been fully paying attention during the ultra sound after I found out it was twins.
“She wrote it down and I had her put it in this sealed envelope. Did you want to open it and see?”
“Oh wow,” I grabbed the envelope from him and just held onto it. Now I really wanted to know what gender the babies were. “There’s going to be twice as much planning and decorating as before. Maybe I should look so I can get started on everything.”
“Maybe,” he said going along with what I wanted.
“But wouldn’t it be exciting to find out when they are born? I mean you are right, that would be the best surprise ever. I do like that idea as well.”
“You’ve got plenty of time to think about it. How about we put it in one of your kitchen drawers for now and you can decide another time. Tonight we should eat, get your bed up, and get you some relaxing sleep.”
“Or other things to relax me,” I said playfully as we got off the elevator.
Mike just smiled back at my flirting with him. The idea of having his hands on me did seem really relaxing though. I wasn’t going to say no if things heated up between us. In fact, I was hoping there would be a little heat when we got to working on my bed.
Having all these hormones running through my body just had me wanting to have sex all the time. It didn’t seem like a logical thing for a
woman’s body to still want to have so much sex after she was already pregnant, but maybe nature meant it that way since couples wouldn’t have to worry about contraception if the woman was already pregnant. But then again, contraception was more of a modern thing and nature just wanted women to have babies, so I had no idea.
“Let’s eat,” I nearly growled as we entered my condo and went up to the counter where I had a couple cushioned chairs.
“No table?” Mike asked as he looked around the mess I had there.
“I don’t think I have room. Where would I put one?”
“By the windows, of course,” he stood over by the window and looked out at my view. “I think you’d like waking up and eating your breakfast over here. But you also don’t have a couch or a television either. What is in all these boxes?”
“I don’t have much of my own furniture. Kendra owned the living room set. I just have my bedroom stuff. All these boxes are the rest of random stuff I had around the apartment and in the kitchen. I should have tossed some of it away, but I didn’t know how much I wanted to worry about purchasing new things just yet.”
The truth was that I hated most of the stuff I had but I thought my feelings might change once I got my stuff over to the new condo. I wasn’t a very sentimental type of person, but I didn’t want to throw items away that I might wish that I’d kept later down the road and I thought I should wait and go through my boxes slowly and plan out the condo better.
I was hoping to buy some modern furniture for the living room and a trendy baby bed for the den. But now I’d be buying two baby beds and that was going to change everything. Surely I was going to have to save my money for baby stuff now and wasn’t going to want to spend it on furniture for the living room.
“Your place looks really big for a one bedroom. I think you made a great choice,” Mike said as we sat at the counter eating our dinner.
“I know. I was a steal,” I said between shoveling food into my mouth.
Knowing that I was having twins, made my constant need to eat feel much more reasonable. I had been worrying that I was eating way too much over the last few weeks. The problem was that I was always hungry. I was constantly wanting food and sex. And now I had my food, next I wanted Mike in my bed.
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