The doctor and nurses moved me over to a hospital bed and started working on me so quickly I didn’t know what was going on. One of the nurses helped me get out of my clothes while everyone else was working on things around the room. This was when I knew the situation was more urgent than I had though, when they wouldn’t even spare the time to give me privacy to change into a hospital gown.
“Are you allergic to any medications?” A nurse asked.
“No.”
“You are thirty weeks along?”
“Yes.”
“You are having twins?”
“Yes.”
“Is there someone we can call for you? Do you have a partner that you’d like to have here for the delivery?”
I paused and contemplated having them call Mike. He would have wanted to be there; I knew he would, but at that point I was still upset with him and didn’t feel like reaching out. I figured he’d probably hear I was in labor when the hospital called looking for Doctor Simon and decided not to take any extra measures to notify him of what was going on.
“No.”
“Okay, well I need you to sign this and we do need to have someone to contact in case of an emergency.”
I filled out her paperwork and put my brother Rob down as my emergency contact person. I could have had them call him and bring him down to the delivery, but I didn’t feel like listening to him tell me how gross it all was. I also didn’t want to have him looking at me naked while I went through the labor and delivery.
The nurses went back to hooking me up to monitors and wrapped some straps around my stomach to listen to the babies. I had a blood pressure cuff working and squeezing my arm and electronic things on my chest listening to my heart. I felt like some sort of experiment as the nurses whipped around me hardly stopping to look at me at all.
Finally a young nurse came and sat down next to me. She grabbed my hand and held it while I labored through another contraction. They were coming nearly constantly at this point and I could hardly take it any longer.
“When this one is done the doctor is going to check you to see if we have enough time to bring you up to the labor and delivery floor. It would be better to deliver up there since we have all our equipment there.”
“Okay,” I said through my pain.
“Nice and slow. Remember that breathing is your friend. Take in a deep breath and then blow it out,” she said as if she knew exactly what I needed to hear.
As soon as I started listening to her I was able to calm down and focus a little better. I had taken the weekend class to learn all of this stuff, the problem was that I hadn’t remembered any of it when the panic of my contractions hit me.
“Okay, it’s almost done,” I said feeling the tension in my stomach letting up.
The doctor was watching the contraction on a monitor next to the bed and waited until it had finished before checking me. He looked happy when he was done and nodded to the nurses that they could bring me up stairs.
“She’s going to go soon, but the sac is intact and I think you have enough time.”
“Perfect,” the young nurse said as she unhooked me from all the monitors but kept the wires and chords connected to me. “We have all this stuff upstairs. It’s a quick ride in the elevator and we will have you in the delivery room.”
“Okay,” I said and closed my eyes as we zoomed down the hallway. “There is someone I should call,” I finally said.
“When we get to your room we will get that information and call them.”
I should have just given Mike’s information to the first nurse who had asked. This wasn’t the time to be holding a grudge against him.
“Okay, let’s get you into this bed. It will be much more comfortable,” the nurse said as she put down one side of the bed that I was on.
I slid myself slowly over to the big bed in the room. She was right, it was much more comfortable. Plus it looked like the bottom of the bed could be taken away so you could deliver right there without moving. That was fantastic.
Another contraction hit and it hurt so bad that I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath. The nurses hurried to hook up the machines and I heard a commotion at the door as Doctor Simon and Mike came busting in.
There was no time for modesty. The nurses had the whole top half of my gown off while they were making sure all the electronics were connected correctly and Doctor Simon quickly got right up there to see how far dilated I was.
“Do you want Mike here?” Doctor Simon asked.
“If he wants to be.”
“It’s a yes or a no,” Bruce said looking a little annoyed at me.
“Yes,” I finally said.
Mike had stayed over by the doorway and when Bruce motioned for him only then did Mike make his way over beside me. He looked nervous but I grabbed his hand as another contraction hit.
“I think we are going soon, people. Let’s get ready,” Bruce yelled to the nurses in the room. “I need two incubators in here too. Let’s get the teams ready. Come on, people,” he barked as a swirl of nurses and other staff started to fill the room with equipment.
“How are you doing?” Mike asked as he kissed my forehead.
“Just perfect,” I grunted through my contraction. “I think I need to push.”
“Not yet, Julia,” Mike told me as he anxiously watched everyone getting set up.
I did my best not to push as the contraction tightened down on my body. I could feel so much pressure and pain that I knew the babies were coming soon.
“I’m going to break your water,” Bruce said as he and a nurse set up the bottom of my bed and put something below me to catch the liquid. “You will deliver quickly after this.”
He was right! The next contraction after he broke my water I started pushing. It didn’t take long before the first baby was out. I heard him scream and they brought him quickly over to be evaluated.
“They have to take care of him first before you can hold him, just because he’s so early,” Mike said as he held my hand.
“Thank you,” I cried as I looked over at all the people working on baby number one. “Is he okay?”
“He’s crying. That’s good,” Mike said. “Now let’s concentrate on the next one.”
“Breach,” Bruce said looking up at Mike.
“No, give it a minute. The baby just needs some time to move,” Mike urged.
“No, man. His butt is coming out. I’m going to try and rotate. Take care of her,” Bruce said as he looked at me only briefly and then started pushing on my stomach.
“He’s maneuvering the second baby trying to change the position so the delivery will go more smoothly. It might hurt a little. Take some deep breaths.”
Honestly, Bruce pushing around on my stomach and trying to change the position of the baby didn’t hurt any more than the contractions I was already going through hurt. Whatever he was doing seemed to have worked because Bruce went back to his chair and shook his head positively as he and Mike looked at each other.
“Did it work?” I asked.
“Yep, so the next contraction you have I need you to push,” Mike said.
“Okay,” I screamed as I felt the next contraction coming.
It was only a few minutes later when baby boy number two was born. He started crying almost immediately after he was out but he also had to be rushed over to the team waiting for him to assess how he was doing.
“You did such a great job,” Mike leaned down and held onto me.
“I can’t believe I did that.”
“I can. You’re amazing.”
“Are they both boys? I think he said boys, right?”
“Yep, two boys. You’re the mother of two perfect baby boys.”
“Go check on them please. Make sure they are okay. When can I hold them?”
Mike went over to the teams that were working on the babies and watched what they were doing for a moment. He talked with the baby doctor that was there and motioned to me at one point during the c
onversation. I wasn’t sure what the two of them were talking about but Mike looked like he was trying to convince the man to do something.
When he finally came back over to me Mike was smiling big. His expression put me at ease instantly.
“They are doing fine but they will need to go to the intensive care unit since they were born so early. It’s necessary for them to be on oxygen but everything else is looking nice at this point. I did talk the doctor into bringing the boys over to see you before they have to go to the NICU.”
“I can’t go with them?”
“No, but as soon as you’re feeling up to it I will take you down there in a wheel chair and you can stay by their side as long as you’d like.”
“Okay,” I said as I started to cry.
“Do you have names picked out yet?” One of the nurses asked.
“No,” I said through my tears.
“Okay so for right now we will name them Baby Boy A Rivas and B Rivas, is that okay?” she asked and looked at me and then at Mike.
“Yes,” I said feeling absolutely terrible that I didn’t even have names for my babies yet.
“It’s fine. A lot of people don’t have a name picked out yet. You’ll come up with something after you spend some time with them. Rest for a couple of hours first though,” the nurse said. “They will be busy with their doctors for a little bit.”
The first bassinet was brought over to me and I got my first glimpse of Baby A. He was in a covered incubator type bassinet and had a breathing tube on his tiny face. It broke my heart to see him in there but he did look like he was breathing well on his own and was a beautiful shade of pink.
“You can put your hand in through here and touch him,” Mike said as he moved the incubator as close to me as possible.
I reached in and touched my sweet baby for just a moment before they had to take him away. It was heart breaking and I was sobbing as the second incubator was brought to me. Again I reached inside and briefly got to feel the soft skin of Baby Boy B before he too was taken away to the NICU.
As the room emptied out I couldn’t stop crying. They were here. This was all so real and yet it didn’t feel real yet at all.
“Can I get you anything?” Mike asked as he sat on the side of my bed.
“I don’t know,” I said through my tears.
“The nurses are going to come in and look after you for a minute. They have a bunch of girlie stuff to do with you and then if you’re hungry they will bring you some food. Make sure and drink plenty of water and we will see if the babies are doing well enough to suckle in a little bit.”
“Oh yeah. If I don’t breast feed soon won’t they have problems latching on?”
“No, the nurses will bring you a pump and show you how to use it. Then you can feed them breast milk through a special dropper or they will even put it directly into their stomachs through a small tube if needed. Then when the babies are ready you can breast feed. It will be just fine.”
“Thank you, Mike. I’m glad you are here.”
“There is no place else I would be. I’m so happy for you, Julia. This is so exciting. They are actually here.”
“I know, this is crazy. I’m not ready at all,” I laughed.
“Sorry to interrupt, but we do need to get you cleaned up. Do you want your guest to stay?” The nurse asked as she looked over at Mike.
The nurses obviously knew who Mike was. He was in there delivering babies for patients all the time. On this particular day he wasn’t the doctor though and the nurse was treating him just like she would any other guest that was there to see a patient.
“I’m going to step out. I actually have a few phone calls to make. You ladies take care of business,” Mike said before leaning down and giving me one more kiss on my forehead.
The nurses helped to give me a sponge bath and washed my hair for me. They changed the sheets and even brought me a new gown to wear. It took a good hour and a half before we were all done and they left to get me a food tray.
“Could you see if Mike is around?” I asked one of the nurses. “Doctor Cooper.”
“Oh, yes, he said he had to leave really quickly but he would check back with you tomorrow and hoped you had a good night.”
“He left?”
“Yes, he was going to come in and say goodbye but looked like he was in a hurry to leave.”
“Oh,” I said as my heart started to beat faster and faster.
I was trying the best I could not to jump to conclusions about why Mike left so quickly. Unfortunately, after just giving birth to twins who I couldn’t even see yet, I was not in a good emotional state to contemplate why Mike had left me like that.
He had promised to take me to see the babies and then just left the first chance he had. If that was how he was going to be around me and my boys, then I didn’t want to push him to be part of our lives. It was better for me to know that I had to do it all on my own than to think that I could count on someone else and not have them there. Although I was devastated that Mike had left me without even saying goodbye, there was no time for me to dwell on him and his issues. Instead, I ate my dinner and took a nap until the nurse came back later in the evening and told me I could go see the boys in the NICU.
The nurse helped me into the wheelchair and brought me to the other end of the hospital where the boys were being held. There were dozens of babies in a variety of different bassinets and incubators. Lots of noises from beeping monitors and other machines throughout the room. I felt my anxiety increasing the longer I was in there but the second we pulled up to my boys, I was calm as could be.
They were both breathing easily with just some tubes in their noses. They did have some monitors on their chests and IV’s in them, but overall, they were looking really good.
“You did good, momma,” the baby nurse said to me as she brought me closer. “Both of them are very healthy. I think a couple of weeks in here to make sure they are eating well and you’ll be able to bring them home.”
“Thank you,” I said through my tears. “Can I hold them yet?”
“Not yet, but really soon. You can touch them though and talk to them. They will like that.”
For the next two hours I stayed in the NICU talking to my boys and reassuring them that I was ready to take care of the two of them. It didn’t matter to me that they were early. It didn’t matter if Mike stuck around or not, because now it was me and the boys and I was going to do everything I could to make sure their lives were perfect.
“I have names for them,” I told the nurse as I was wrapping up my visit. “Brody and Ben,” I said to the nurse as she wrote them down. “I’ve got middle names too.”
“Here, write down how you want them spelled and I’ll make up their name tags for them,” she said softly.
“Brody Philip Rivas and Benjamin Parker Rivas,” I said as I wrote their names down for the nurse.
“Beautiful names,” the nurse said as she took the paper from me.
I felt so much better after seeing them and giving them their names. When I finally crawled back into bed all I could think about was what a wonderful life the three of us were going to have.
***
The next few weeks I spent at or near the hospital. When I was released I was able to rent a special hotel room near the hospital from the company I worked with. They gave me a special rate of five dollars a day because they couldn’t technically give it to me for free.
My work was absolutely amazing and supportive when I had to go out on my maternity leave two months early. Sarah and Teddy took over my clients and they even gave me the commission from the people that I had already started to work with.
I was at the hospital nearly all day long caring for the boys, pumping my milk and just being there for them as they grew and got strong enough to come home soon. I did go home for a few brief trips to I grab some clothes and I managed to order the boy decorations I wanted for the nursery.
Mike had been trying to call and text me bu
t I didn’t have time for him at that point. He tried to explain that the legal stuff with his work had gotten out of control and I wasn’t mean to him but I also didn’t really care at that point. My priority was my children and Mike would have to deal with his own priorities however he saw fit.
“Can we take you to dinner?” Kendra asked when her and Sarah showed up at my hotel room across from the hospital.
It was nearly ten o’clock at night and I tried to let the babies sleep at night so I could get some sleep too. I was actually about to crawl into bed when the girls showed up at my door but I couldn’t remember the last time I had actually eaten anything.
“Sure, there is a place across the street. I don’t want to go far,” I said.
“Of course.”
Both Kendra and Sarah had been to see me a few times but they weren’t able to see the babies just yet. As soon as they were off of oxygen the boys would be moved to the lower level of care and in there I could bring guests to see the babies.
“What’s going on? How are the boys?” Sarah asked as we ordered our food at the diner across the street.
“They are doing good. I think only another two weeks and they can come home. Both of them are over four pounds now so that’s nice.”
“Very good. And what’s going on with you and Mike?” Sarah asked.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean he’s calling me and Kendra all the time checking on you because you won’t call him back or answer his text messages. He wants to talk to you. Are you really still mad at him?”
“I’m not mad. I just don’t have any extra energy right now. He doesn’t want to be involved with me and the babies. I don’t want to deal with him. That’s all there is to it.”
“Hmm, he seemed really worried about you guys,” Kendra said.
“He said the babies were mine and I could take care of them,” I blurted out as I tried not to cry, but was unsuccessful.
“He said that?” Sarah looked appalled. “What a total jerk!”
“Yeah, well I thought so too. I mean we needed to talk some more things through but if he was willing to say something like that I just don’t want to even deal with him. I have more important things. I’ve got the boys now.”
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