He pulled me against him roughly, as though this was what he’d been thinking about from the moment he laid eyes on me down there in the lobby; I knew, in my head, that this was seriously stupid and that hooking up with a neighbor on the first day I moved into the building was only going to earn me a reputation I wanted nothing to do with, but I couldn’t have given less of a damn right then and there. He made this noise against my mouth—something close to a growl—and he scooped me off the counter once more and carried me through to the bedroom, where I hadn’t had time to make up the bed yet. I giggled as he laid me down on top of the covers, and I squirmed against the mattress in anticipation of his touch once more.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I murmured as he dived back down on top of me, his mouth on my neck, his hands pushing up my shirt.
“Me neither,” he replied, his voice lower and harder-edged than before.
“Oh, like you don’t make a habit of this,” I teased him. “Helping out women in need and then …?”
“Then waiting for them to put the moves on me,” he reminded me playfully. His hand found my breast, and he pinched the nipple between his fingers and drew a moan out from between my lips. I forgot all about that smart mouth of mine, and he kissed me again and continued to move his hands confidently over my torso, his fingers tracing every inch of me like he didn’t want to forget a thing.
He stripped me down quickly, as though he was well-practiced, tossing my shirt and my sweats aside until I was lying there in nothing but a pair of panties; he was standing over me and grinning widely as he eyed me like he was pleased with his handiwork.
He moved down on top of me, kissing from my breasts to my belly, finding that soft, sensitive spot below my navel that made my entire body feel like it was going to crumple up with pleasure. I closed my eyes and bit my lip, reaching down to grip his hair, and realized that for the first time in what felt like forever, I actually felt desire. Not just the urge to have sex because I knew it would get my man off my back. No, I wanted this, wanted him—and I took hold of the feeling in both hands and leaned into it before I could think twice.
“Fuck me,” I gasped, and he glanced up from where he was almost down between my legs.
“You sure?” he asked, letting his mouth linger there a little longer—it felt so good that I nearly changed my mind, but I stuck to my guns and nodded.
“I need to feel you inside me,” I told him, wondering where this dirty-talking had come from; I was usually awkward as hell in bed, but now I was with Logan, it felt like my inhibitions had dropped away, just like that. Maybe because I knew I was never going to have to see him again after this, so I could say whatever I wanted and not have to worry about retribution.
“Condom?” he asked, moving back on top of me; he was stripped to the waist but still wearing his jeans, and somehow that was sexier than if he’d just been naked. I ran my hands over his well-muscled chest, feeling the way his heartbeat raced at my touch and felt that dizzying spin of power take over me. This was happening—really, actually happening. This gorgeous man wanted me, and I was all too happy to give him what he wanted.
“That box,” I pointed to one that I had left next to the bed. “Here, let me …”
I dived into the box, rummaged for a second, and then produced a condom; I pressed it into his hand, and he swiftly undid his pants and sheathed himself. His erection was bigger than I’d expected, and it made my skin prickle with anticipation; he moved between my legs, pushing them back so that he could get into me deep, and then guided his cock against me.
“Ready?” he breathed, and I planted a kiss on his mouth to give him all the answer he needed. And with that, he moved into me.
“Oh,” I groaned as soon as he was inside of me. How long had it been since sex had felt this damn good? Just pleasure, the two of us finding this sweet pleasure with one another and losing ourselves to it, letting ourselves vanish into it in this bright summer morning. He pressed his head to my shoulder, and I could feel his breath coming quickly, catching at the back of his throat as though he could hardly restrain himself. He moved in deep, and I hooked my ankles behind his back, drawing him in further, letting him know that he could do pretty much anything he wanted to me right now and I would have been just fine with it.
“You feel so good,” he groaned in my ear, catching the lobe between his teeth and tugging lightly; I wriggled beneath him, shifting a little to change the angle, and slipped my arms around his neck. He pulled back, pushing himself up on the bed and looking deep into my eyes, and for a moment, I felt as though I was falling through space—I wasn’t sure what it was, but the way he was looking at me, it was as though those eyes went on forever. And then he kissed me again, and I lost them, and I focused on the feeling once more. No need to get all silly about this. It was just sex, just fucking, a chance to blow off some steam after what happened to me.
And I realized that I was getting close—slowly but surely, inching to the edge, the pleasure building up like a gasket that had been waiting to blow for ages. I moved back against him, rocking my hips against his, and soon enough I felt myself cresting. I slid my hand between my legs and touched myself in time with his thrusts, and he pushed his tongue into my mouth just as I found my orgasm.
I made a noise I’d never heard come out of me before as I came, my entire body trembling from head to toe as it hit me. He seemed to absorb the pleasure, letting it pass from my body to his, and moments later, I felt him reach his own release inside of me; he let out something close to a growl, and then stilled himself, holding himself inside me like he wasn’t ready for this to be over yet. But eventually, he rolled off me and disposed of the condom, leaving me staring at the ceiling, catching my breath, the waves of pleasure only then beginning to subside.
“That was …” I turned to him and furrowed my brow when I saw that he was already getting dressed.
“Hey, you can stay a while if you want,” I offered, trying to sound sultry instead of desperate, but he shook his head and glanced at his watch.
“I actually have somewhere I really need to be,” he replied, shooting me an apologetic look that seemed sincere. But then, I had proved these last few weeks that I was hardly the best at reading men, so maybe I shouldn’t have gone with my gut on that one.
“Oh, right, yeah.” I rolled my eyes where he couldn’t see me. I’d heard that one before. Did he really expect me to believe that he just had to get out of here mere minutes after he’d finished inside me? That was a likely story. He was just a jerk looking to get his hole and nothing more, and I’d been an idiot to think anything else.
“I’ll see you soon though, right?” He glanced over at me, and I raised my eyebrows.
“Sure,” I replied gamely, confident that he wasn’t going to take me up on that offer. “See you soon.”
And with that, he finished dressing, headed for the door, and avoided my gaze as he walked out. I stared at the ceiling, butt-naked and surrounded by boxes, and silently cursed myself for doing what I’d just done. Hooking up with a neighbor on my first day—no, my first hour—in this place? Yeah, smart move there, Einstein. And now he had hit the bricks, and the most we would probably share were some awkward interactions on the stairs.
I rolled out of bed and promised myself that it wasn’t going to happen again. Sure, it had been a fun way to blow off some steam—and he was the hottest guy I’d ever hooked up with, no doubt—but back in the real, adult world, I had a hell of a lot of boxes that needed taking care of. This apartment wasn’t going to unpack itself. I got to my feet, planted my hands on my hips, and surveyed the room. Okay, where should I get started?
Chapter 2
Logan
I headed upstairs for the quickest shower I could, hoping that I would be able to scrub the remnants of what I’d just done off my body before I went to pick up my daughter.
As the cool water ran over my body, I couldn’t help chuckling to myself. Maybe it was just the burst of endorphins from what had j
ust happened, but I was in a hell of a good mood. I really hadn’t been thinking about fucking her when I’d offered to help her out—it was just what my grandmother would have slapped my wrist for not doing—but that was a nice little bonus. Maybe I should go out of my way to help my neighbors more often, see if it brought me more.
I got out of the shower, dried myself as fast as I could, and dressed hurriedly, making it down to the car just in time. I glanced at my watch again and hoped that the traffic was going to be alright on the way down there. If it held, I would get to the school with a couple of minutes to spare.
Maybe I should have hung around a little longer before I hit the bricks. I felt a little bad, looking back—I could tell from the look on Nina’s face that she had been upset at me leaving so quickly, but I couldn’t stick around without missing pickup for Erin at school, and I could hardly just tell her that right after we’d fucked for the first time, could I? It would have ruined the mood either way, and I’d rather ruin the mood with a little mystery than ruin it by telling her that I was a single father.
I sighed as those words played through my mind again. It had been nine years since Erin had come along, and I still had trouble accepting that I really was the only parent in her life, that I was the sole person responsible for the raising of a whole entire child of my own. Who the fuck let that happen?
Well, I knew the answer to that question—Samantha Barnes, her mother, and general bane of my life. I tried not to give her too much brain space, but it was tough when I still had to deal with her regularly. If she’d just gone on ahead and slid right on of my daughter’s life, that would have been one thing. But now, her being her, she had to go back and forth and up and down and never, ever make her mind up about Erin and me
But she had been out of town for a while and keeping to herself, and I would happily take that as a win for the time being. The less I saw of her, the better—hell, that had pretty much been true when we were dating as well. No wonder things hadn’t worked out with us.
I let my mind wander back to those heady days, long before Erin came along when I had been able to do anything and everything and anyone I wanted. It had started just as I finished high school when I moved from a small town in the middle of nowhere to the big city. After what happened with my family, I decided that I was allowed to blow off as much steam as I wanted, and I started sleeping around with everyone I could get my hands on. I earned myself a reputation in the process; if there was a girl looking to get laid after a bad break-up or have someone take her virginity, I was always the one her friends pointed her in the direction of, and I was more than happy to oblige.
I went to cooking school and found that the lifestyle there suited me even better: heavy drinking, heavy partying, heavy sleeping-with-everything-that-moved. I had an awesome time, dating around and hooking up and enjoying myself after the shitshow that had torn my family apart a few years before. And then I meet Samantha.
She seemed like a good idea at the time. That’s what I have to keep reminding myself when things with her get even shittier than normal. When we met, she seemed like the perfect woman for me—as hard a drinker, a partier, and everything else as I was. We got together and stuck together in what felt like a matter of hours. And it was fun for a while because these things usually are. And then she came to me and told me she was pregnant, and that she was keeping it.
I had just finished school and was preparing to go into my first job at a prestigious restaurant in the city, but as soon as I heard the news, I dropped it and looked for something part-time instead because I knew, in my heart of hearts, that I was going to have to be the one to step up and take care of this kid, because Samantha couldn’t do it. She was unstable, out of control—I practically had to pry the bottle out of her hand a few times when she was pregnant with Erin, but I managed to keep her roughly on the straight and narrow, thank goodness. She was already checked out before Erin came along, the novelty of all the attention everyone was paying her for being pregnant wearing thin swiftly, and when she gave birth, she fled the hospital as soon as she could and left me with Erin. I had to step up and be the father I’d never imagined I would be, at just twenty-one years old.
Looking back, I was surprised I didn’t fall apart. I was so young, and it was more stress than I had ever handled in my life before—I thought school was tough, but this was crazy. With my parents gone and my party friends having no idea what it actually meant to raise a daughter, I had to rely on my sister to guide me through the worst of it. How many times did I call her up late in the evening, begging her to come over and watch Erin for just a couple of hours while I picked up another shift to make sure that I could pay rent that month? More times than I could count, but she was there for me, a devoted aunt from the very start. And thank God because there was no way I would have been able to do it without her.
Eventually, I came out the other side of the night feedings and the kindergarten drop-offs and the parent-teacher meetings, and I found myself settled in. It had been hard work, no doubt, but I wouldn’t have changed a thing about it; I loved Erin fiercely, more than I loved anything or anyone else in my life, and I was glad I had dedicated my life to raising her into the sweet young woman she was growing up to be.
But sometimes I missed the life I’d had before her. Of course, I did—it would have been weird if I hadn’t. When I held her in my arms and rocked her back and forth and tried to soothe her back to sleep when she was teething and screeching, it was hard not to let my mind wander to doing shots in a scuzzy bar downtown with the people who’d been my friends. To be going home with whoever I wanted and waking up wherever I wound up at the end of the night.
And that was what the whole thing with Nina had been about, more than anything. I saw a chance to go back to the last time in my life when I felt carefree, and I took it. And man, had it been fun.
I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel as I waited for a light to change and wondered if I should have told her about Erin. She was living in the building now, after all, so we were going to run into each other one way or another—and she would find out that I had a daughter then. Maybe it wouldn’t be a problem for her? My hopeful thoughts strayed into dangerous territory, and try as I might to pin them down, they got away from me.
She was cute and funny, and she had a smile that made my heart feel like it was lighting up in my chest. It had been a hell of a long time since I had hooked up with anyone new; what with Erin around, it was hard to find the time or the space, and besides, not many single women my age were looking for a guy who came already equipped with a daughter of his own. And the ones that were usually came with their own families, which was fine but not what I was looking for—in between work and Erin, I hardly had time for one other person, let alone a whole brood of them. But Nina seemed like she was single and child-free—and, to my great irritation, that probably meant she wouldn’t want anything to do with me.
I pulled away from the light and made the last bit of the drive down to the school. I would see her around, I guessed, if she wasn’t already too mad at me for leaving as soon as we’d hooked up. Maybe she thought I was some kind of player, working my way through the whole building as fast as I could manage it. The thought made me chuckle. It couldn’t be further from the truth.
A few minutes later, I arrived outside Erin’s school and climbed out of the car to join the other parents waiting to pick up their kids. Normally, I would have chatted with them, but today I was feeling introspective. I had given up so much for Erin, and what just happened with my new neighbor had thrown that into sharp relief. A whole world, a bachelordom sacrificed to raise her and make sure that I was the best father I could be. It was hard not to wonder, sometimes, if I had made the right choice. Or at least, what my life would have been like if I’d chosen a different route.
“You alright, Logan?” asked Daniel, one of the other dads who I usually chatted to about cars and cooking. He was a nice guy if a little dull.
“Yea
h, I’m good,” I replied, waving my hand, dismissing those thoughts from my head.
“You just look a little absorbed, that’s all.” He shook his head and leaned on the school gates. I grinned.
“And you thought that was notable enough to comment on? That I looked as though I was actually thinking?”
“Hey, hey.” He laughed, holding his hands up. “Just making conversation over here.”
The school bell rang, and moments later the kids began to pour out onto the concrete of the playground. As I always did, I found myself scanning for Erin, waiting for that little punch of happiness that came whenever I laid eyes on her. And sure enough, as soon as I saw her emerging, I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. This might not have been the life I envisioned for myself ten years ago, but now that I was here, I couldn’t imagine anything different.
“Hey, baby.” I gave her a hug as she reached me, and she wrapped her small arms around my waist. Jesus, she was getting so big—I could still remember when she could barely reach up to my knees. Soon she would be as tall as me.
“Hey, Daddy,” she greeted me, and she slipped her hand into mine as we headed over to the car.
“How was your day?” I asked, and Erin started chatting away about everything she’d been doing for the last six hours; I let my brain switch off and focused in on my daughter.
Chapter 3
Nina
“Hey!” Ant exclaimed as she burst through the door, her traditional high-energy style crashing head-first into my little cocoon of feeling sorry for myself and bursting it at once.
“Hey,” I greeted her, as she planted her hands on her hips and surveyed the apartment; I hadn’t had a chance to unpack all the boxes, and Ant had offered to come around and help me. She was a good friend that way—the best. She always knew when I needed her, and even when I thought I didn’t. She was one of the biggest reasons I had been able to get away from Fred in the end, going with me on apartment tours and helping me find a place that was in my price range but wasn’t a total dump.
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