“I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to thank you enough,” I told her, and she smiled at me. Her hand was still on my knee, and I took it, drawing the knuckles up so I could brush my mouth over her skin. She bit her lip, and I smiled at her, the last couple of weeks forgotten.
“I’m so sorry,” she blurted out suddenly.
“Why?” I furrowed my brow. “You saved my daughter. You have nothing to be sorry about.”
“I’m sorry I just dropped out of your life like I did,” she confessed. “I was so sure … when I saw Samantha, and I heard you guys arguing, I thought there was still something there. I thought I should give you space; I thought I shouldn’t get too involved—I didn’t want to crowd you or Erin, what with having Samantha back in your lives and everything …”
Now it was her turn to run out of words. I knew how she felt; this last hour, the panic I felt when I realized that Erin was missing from school added to the fury at Samantha for playing me like this had me overwhelmed.
But now I was sitting here, next to Nina, and I felt like things were settling a little. The water calming once more, the ripples receding.
“I understand,” I told her. It seemed to matter so little now that she was here, now that she had done the right thing and saved my daughter from being kidnapped by her own damn mother.
“I shouldn’t have just left that way,” she admitted. “But when I saw Erin and Samantha I—I guess something just snapped. I didn’t want her to take Erin anywhere.”
I fell silent again for a long moment, not sure what to say. I was so emotionally and physically exhausted—and I knew it was far from over, that there would be charges to press and statements to give, and that I would need to fight hard to make my daughter feel safe once more, to prove to her that I could protect her, and that I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to her ever again ...
But the way Nina was looking at me right now, the sincerity in her voice, the touch of her fingers against my hand; I could forget it, for a moment.
“Well, I’m grateful for it,” I told her softly. “I don’t know what would have happened …”
“But it didn’t,” she assured me. She dropped her eyes down a little and took a deep, slightly ragged breath. I knew what she was going to say next was going to be big. This day, it felt as though our emotions had been laid out once and for all.
“Look, Logan, I have to admit something to you,” she told me, looking at me intently. “When I met you—both of you—I really didn’t … I had never imagined having a family.”
“I know.” I brushed my finger over her knuckles. “And that’s okay, I don’t—”
“But I understand it now,” she blurted out, seemingly before she could stop herself. “I never imagined, I just never understood, what it was like to want to—to want to belong to something like that before. But I want to belong to you. I want to belong to this thing between you and Erin. When I saw Samantha down there, taking her, I just …” She shook her head again as though the emotion was too much for her to handle.
She swallowed and took another breath like she was trying to drink the air around her, find enough oxygen to get the words out. “I just want to be part of this,” she admitted. “And I know I shouldn’t have just cut you out like that before, with what happened with Samantha, but I just saw this woman moving in on what I didn’t realize I saw as my territory. You know?”
“I think I’m starting to.” I smiled at her. I didn’t realize it, but that was what I had been waiting to hear from her for the longest time; I needed to hear the promise that this could work.
“I don’t know how it’s going to work,” she warned me. “I mean, I’ve never done anything like this before. I’m pretty far from any kind of mother I’ve heard of before.”
“And that’s okay,” I promised her. “When I had Erin, I never thought I would be anything other than a fucking disaster. You can’t learn this stuff. You can’t just know it. You have to try, and sometimes it just … it just works out for you.”
“Jesus, you have no idea how glad I am to hear you say that,” she told me, chuckling a little nervously. “It sounds crazy coming out of my mouth. I really never thought I would feel this way about anyone, but you guys …” She trailed off once more and just looked at me, and the expression on her face said everything that I needed to hear.
I had been so convinced that I was never going to find a way to work someone into my life, and then this woman just dropped out of the sky and into my life, and now it felt as though she had always been destined to find me, to find us.
“I think I want to give things a try between us,” she continued after a long pause. “If you’ll have me.”
“Of course, I will,” I promised her, and before I could stop myself, I leaned over and planted a kiss on her lips. She touched her fingers to my face, and the connection between us was never stronger than it was at that moment. It felt as though our bodies were melding together like our lives were finally clicking into the places they had always meant to be.
When I pulled back, she giggled and shook her head.
“What?”
“Nothing,” she replied. “It’s only … when we met, I never thought that this was what would come from it, you know?”
“Me neither.” I cocked my head at her. “You were just the hot girl downstairs.”
“Hey, hot woman, at least,” she teased, and I laughed.
It felt so damn good to laugh after everything that I had been through that day, that we had been through. I leaned forward and pressed my head against hers, closing my eyes and inhaling the sweetness of her scent. “I’m very happy right now,” I told her. It didn’t feel like enough to convey how I felt, but it would do for now.
“Me too,” she agreed, and for a long while, we just held each other, there on the sofa, at the beginning of a life we had been looking for together.
Chapter 19
Nina
I wasn’t sure how long I just sat there in silence with him, but it felt like I could have stayed there forever. I was just so fucking relieved that everything had happened the way it had—seeing Samantha trying to get her claws into Erin had underlined the fact, once and for all, that I wanted to be a mother to Erin. In whatever way I could.
Eventually, we heard Erin moving around in the bath, and he pulled back and smiled.
“I guess I should go get her out,” he remarked, and he got to his feet, running his hand briefly over my back and sending a rush of electricity over my body. I desired him so much that I could hardly think, but it was more than just on the initial physical level that had first attracted me to him. I needed him more than that, in a seriously profound way, like my soul ached for every part of him.
He went to get Erin out of the bath, and I curled up on the couch with a smile on my face, waiting for them to come back. There was still so much in my life that was up in the air—I had no idea what I was going to do for a job, where I was going to go after this, but these two were a grounding presence, a promise that the future was worth throwing myself into.
I heard them talking quietly in the other room and closed my eyes, letting the softness of the moment wash over me. Never in a million years did I think I would be sitting somewhere like this, feeling so at peace with what was going on around me. It would have seemed impossible if you’d asked me just a few months ago—hell, even a few days when I felt as though taking on the enormity of a whole family would have torn me apart. I wondered how Ant was going to take the news—I had a feeling she’d be pretty happy about it when I told her all about my change of heart and where it had come from. Hell, I would finally be a real part of her family, and I knew how important family was to her.
Eventually, the pair returned from the bathroom, Erin dressed in a pair of cute pajamas with a butterfly caked in glitter stitched on the front. I couldn’t get over how little she looked in those things; like I could have just scooped her up in my arms right there and then. I remembered what Samant
ha had wanted to do to her earlier, and I had to clench my fists by my sides to keep from screaming out in anger. To think of how she could hurt her—to think that she’d actually believed that the best place for her own daughter was removed from the man who had raised her. But that wasn’t the point right now. The point was that she was here, she was safe, and we were all together.
“I’m going to make some dinner,” Logan told me. “Pancakes, we thought, if that works for you.”
“That sounds amazing.” I grinned, my stomach grumbling at the thought of the delicious food. “You want to show me some of your books, Erin?”
“Yeah!” Erin seemed excited; I knew that she would be fine. It wouldn’t be easy for her to get over the stuff that Samantha had tried to pull today, but for the time being at least, she seemed alright. Perhaps she was young enough that she hadn’t really taken in what was happening. I could hope that, at least.
She led me to her bedroom, and the two of us went through her bookshelf novel by novel; she spoke so effusively about them, and it was clear that reading was the main thing that kept her going. Maybe she would write her own stories one day—she had a way with words, that was for sure, especially for someone so young.
“Dinner’s ready!” Logan called out after about half an hour, and I stepped out of the bedroom and inhaled the gorgeous scent of pancakes, the vanilla, and the sweet eggy smell. I was starving. It had been a hell of a day, after all.
“Come on, let’s get something to eat.” I took Erin’s hand, and she squeezed it tightly as though she never wanted to let me go. I remembered that first morning we had spent together, all three of us when I had been trying to sneak away from the situation and escape before it got serious. And to think, I had really believed that was the best choice. I hadn’t even given the thought of something more serious real consideration, which seemed so ridiculous in retrospect.
I sat down at the table, and Erin hopped up into her seat, and without thinking, I leaned forward to brush a strand of hair that had fallen into her eyes back from her face. She smiled and pulled a face, and I felt my heart fill with—well, it might not quite have been love yet, but it was the knowledge that I was open to it, to being loved by this little girl, and loving her back.
“Alright, here we go.” Logan began to serve up the pancakes. “I already ate the first one … they always turn out funny.”
“Yeah, like you weren’t just being greedy,” I teased him, and he nudged himself against me as he served up. It was just the slightest of touches, but it was enough to put a smile on my face.
We ate together and talked—not about what had happened that day because that all seemed too raw and rough right now, but just talked. And it was nice. More than nice. It felt perfect. I had never believed I could find satisfaction in something so simple, and yet here I was, feeling full and warm and happy, filled up by the people around me. I was beginning to understand where Logan was coming from when he told me how frightened he’d been when he found out that he was going to have Erin, and how it wound up coming easy to him at the end of the day. If he could do this, maybe I could do. He had to change when he became a father, and I was more than happy changing myself to fit this new dynamic.
After dinner, Logan put Erin to bed while I washed up; I put on the radio and hummed along absently to the song that was playing, moving my hips back and forth a little, enjoying the beat. Suddenly, I felt a pair of hands wind around my waist from behind, and I grinned and continued shaking my butt to the beat.
“Mmm, you look really good like that,” Logan murmured against my neck, his breath warm.
“What, doing your dishes for you?” I shot back, finishing up and putting the last one away.
“Well, what else do you think I meant?” he replied teasingly, and I couldn’t help laughing.
“Yeah, alright … I’m not just going to do the whole barefoot-in-the-kitchen business,” I reminded him. “You’re meant to be the cook, aren’t you?”
“Sure.” He pressed a kiss just below the nape of my neck, and I felt my knees begin to tremble a little underneath me. Just the feel of his body against mine got my heart racing.
I turned to face him and wound my arms around his neck, grinning, remembering the way he had kissed me earlier on the couch—that had been less to do with sex than it had with love, but I knew that I didn’t crave the same kind of tenderness right here and now. No, I wanted him rough and hard and here and now.
He kissed me again, and I knew at once that he understood what I was craving; he sank his fingers roughly into my hips and pulled me against him, so I could feel his cock stirring against me. He flicked his tongue over my bottom lip, just briefly, just for a moment, and I felt as though I was going to swoon on the spot.
“I think you need to take me to bed,” I murmured in his ear.
“I think I do,” he agreed, and he hitched me off my feet. I clung on to him, unable to stop myself bursting out in laughter, and hooked my legs around him and planted kisses up his neck as he carried me to the bedroom.
He laid me down on the bed and slid between my legs, kissing me again, this time harder; I could feel that his cock was already full, and the thought of it buried inside me made my head spin. But I didn’t want that yet. No, I wanted something more—something different.
“I really need to go down on you right now,” I breathed in his ear, and I was rewarded with a groan of pleasure for my trouble.
“Well, I’ve been thinking about eating you out all damn week,” he replied, and I felt my stomach tense with need for him. Fuck, that sounded so good. Of all the ways he teased me, oral sex was the one that got me closest quickest.
“Seems like we have a dilemma, huh?” I replied, brushing my mouth over his neck, enjoying the way his stubble scratched against my skin, the contrast of sensation delighting me.
“I don’t think so,” he replied, and he kissed me once more but this time began to undress me in the process. I grinned as he stripped me down, moving quickly as though he just couldn’t wait to get me naked. I knew how he felt. I had been craving his strong body against mine for the longest time, the feel of his muscles, his skin; I unbuttoned his shirt with shaky fingers as he undid my jeans, and soon enough we had both stripped naked. He lay down next to me on the bed and ran his hands over my waist, tracing the shape of me.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, and he spoke with such sincerity that it took me aback a little. I had never heard someone say those words when I’d actually believed them. They had always sounded like a line, a trick to get what they wanted, more than anything else, but I knew clear as day that there was no doubt in his mind about what he was saying. He meant it, and he saw no reason to hold back from saying it.
“So are you.” I smiled, running my hand through his hair and fisting my fingers in it—I pulled him close to me, and he was on top of me once more, our bodies intertwined, my heart pounding fast against his as I held on with every fiber of my being to this moment, this feeling.
“So, about that dilemma,” he purred in my ear.
“I’m listening,” I replied playfully, and just like that, he flipped me up on top of him.
“Turn around,” he told me, and I blinked at him for a moment, trying to make sense of what he was saying to me.
And then it clicked. I giggled again. “I’ve never done that before,” I confessed.
“Let me show you how,” he suggested, and he shifted my body, maneuvering me gently until I was in the right position; I was straddling his face as he lay down, and I planted one hand on the bed to hold me up while I wrapped the other around his rock-hard cock.
“Mmm, you look so good like this.” He sighed as he ran his hands over my ass and spread me apart; I flushed a little, not used to letting anyone get this close to me, but then he planted a kiss on the crook of the inside of my thigh, and I forgot all about my inhibitions. How could any of them matter when he had me like this? I took a deep breath, leaned down, and took his cock into
my mouth.
He tasted so good, of clean skin and him, and I swirled my tongue around his head and took him as deep as I could. In kind, he leaned up to press his mouth to my pussy, stroking my clit a few times up and down as though getting used to this new angle, and I felt my legs begin to shudder at once. I groaned against his cock, the sound a little muffled, but I could tell he knew how much I was enjoying this. I was already soaked just from what we had done so far.
I focused my attention on his cock, stroking him up into my mouth so I could take in as much of him as I could; I let my fingers stray down a little, stroking his balls as I coaxed him into my mouth, and I felt his fingers tighten approvingly against my ass. I moaned softly again, knowing that the vibrations would run through his entire body, and he sealed his lips around my clit and began to suck on me softly, teasing me with his tongue as he did.
I had been sure doing it like this would be awkward, but before I knew it, I was able to lose myself to the sensations; the focus on his cock kept me from coming too quickly, and I was able to actually enjoy and revel in the pleasure. I loved this feeling, the two of us giving ourselves to each other in this way. I could have done it all day—but soon I realized I was getting close; my legs were trembling and my body beginning to clench on top of his. He slipped two fingers inside of me and lazily fucked me with his hand, and the mesh of feeling had me gasping for breath. I pulled back from his cock for a moment, chest rising and falling rapidly as the air tore in and out of my lungs, and then, lips pressed together to make sure I didn’t make a sound, I came. Hard.
He kept his mouth on me for a long time after I came, moving his mouth softly over my pussy, lapping at my engorged lips and my aching clit. I could hardly keep myself upright—my knees felt as though they were going to tremble out beneath me.
“I think I need to be inside you right now,” he murmured, his breath tickling my pussy. I groaned.
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