“What are you doing here Zane? Won’t your wife be mad that you aren’t at home with her?” Axel asked slapping me on the back.
“No, we have to work, and she understands that,”
“Good thing you married someone who was so understanding,” Blaze said before he grabbed Chloe’s hand and tugged her into his lap, to my utter despair.
“Yea, good thing,” I hissed once again.
“They’re just fucking with you, chill out Zee,” Chloe said earning my attention, as soon as our eyes met it was like taking a punch to the gut. I clenched my teeth at my own stupidity.
“I know they are,” With that I went and sat down kicking my feet out to make myself comfortable. “I’m surprised the two of you are here though, I was almost positive you would have been arrested,”
“Why would they have gotten arrested?” Cage asked shooting Blaze and Chloe a look.
“Because they were parked on the side of the road damn near fucking each other,” I spat out.
“We were not,” Blaze answered, “We were kissing, because I couldn’t wait until I got her home to taste her again. And Zane dude, if you couldn’t tell the difference between fucking and kissing, then your wife must be sorely unsatisfied,”
“Fuck you,”
“You know I actually have a question that Chloe can answer,” Axel said with a devious smirk on his face that did not make me happy.
“What’s that Axe?” Chloe asked giving her full attention to him,
“Who’s a better lay Blaze or Zane?”
My mouth dropped open, this was not a conversation that I wanted to be having for so many different reasons. The main one was that I couldn’t stand the thought of Blaze’s hands being on Chloe, or the idea that he had been inside of her. However at the same time this was something I wanted to know. I needed to fucking know if they had slept together yet. I wasn’t sure why that information was so vital for me, but it was. Also if Chloe said Blaze, then it would prove to me that she was already moving on. However is she said me then there was still hope. I sat at the edge of my seat, her answer holding the very breath of me.
“I wouldn’t know yet. I’ve only ever had sex with Zane,”
I exhaled slowly as her words eased some of the pain in my chest. Blaze had not touched her yet, she was still mine. Then the words she used swirled around in my mind. She had not said that she hadn’t slept with Blaze, she had said that she had only EVER had sex with me. As that registered in my mind, I was suddenly filled with hope. Had Chloe never known another man other than me? Was I the only person who had ever been inside of her? Fuck, now I was hard. I had to fucking know.
“What the hell? You’ve never slept with anyone besides me? Why didn’t I know that?”
“That doesn’t matter dude,” Blaze answered “Soon she will have another to add to her list. We’re taking it slow at the moment, so that Chloe trusts me when it happens.”
“No, wait. I have to know, why didn’t you ever have sex with anyone other than me?”
“Because I loved you and couldn’t be with anyone else. Just the thought of it made me feel like I was being unfaithful,” Chloe answered. Before I could say anything to her, her phone rang and she excused herself to take the call. As soon as she was out of ear shot Blaze pounced on me.
“Why the hell do you have to ask her things like that?”
“I didn’t know I was her only lover. I needed to know why,”
“Like hell you didn’t know. And don’t call yourself her lover, what the two of you had wasn’t love. You used her every chance you could because you knew she would sleep with you. That girl has only ever known your touch, fuck you probably never took the time to be gentle with her. But I’m going to change that, very soon. She will know what it means to be cherished,” Blaze spat at me, each word he said as sharp as a knife to my chest.
“I did one time. I showed her what it was like, and I’m glad now more than ever that I did.”
I rested my head on the back of my seat and lost myself in my mind. I remembered that last night we shared together. I remember thinking that she was acting like a virgin. With every small caress or kiss I gave her she moaned and withered beneath me as if I were driving her insane. From that same light kissing and petting she had orgasmed, like the pleasure was too much for her to handle. Now I knew, she was used to the fast roughness I always gave her. Since she had only ever been with me that fast roughness was all she had ever known. Fuck I was a piece of shit. If I had ever asked her about us I would have known that I should have took the time to be gentle with her sometimes. But I was afraid to bring up anything about the fucked up relationship we had.
Not because I didn’t want to hurt her, but because I didn’t want to rock the boat and have her be done with fucking me. I was fucking worthless, would the pain I caused her ever stop? Or would I just continue to find out more and more of what I had done to her? Even knowing all of this, I couldn’t let her go. I was so damn grateful that I shared that night with her, I would have lost her for good if Blaze was the first to show her what making love was truly like. Then she would know that I was never romantic with her. Thank god that I had that insight.
However there was now an even bigger problem that I was facing. Chloe had only ever been with me, and sooner or later if I didn’t stop it, she would sleep with Blaze. Now that I knew that I was the only man to ever touch her, I wanted to keep it that way. There was no way in hell that I could stomach knowing any other man touched where only I ever had. Blaze couldn’t have her body, or her heart. For both of those things had only ever belonged to me and I was going to keep it that way. All I had to do was figure out a way to make that happen. I was a married man and I couldn’t become single overnight. It wasn’t as if I were just dating. If I didn’t move soon though Chloe would have sex with Blaze. That much was made clear from the night before. Her heart might not have been Blaze’s but she did want him. Why did I have to be such a fucking retard and get married? Chloe had warned me over and over that once I got married that I would lose her for good. I just didn’t take her seriously. I had thought that she was just bluffing, like all the other times she ended our benefits, she always ended up taking me back. This time was very different. She was making it abundantly clear that she was done with me, fuck how wrong I was.
“Zane!” Chloe yelled for what seemed like the second time causing me to jump back to the present and look at the woman I wanted back as a lover.
“What?”
“I said I’m heading out to grab some lunch. Blaze and the others have that interview so they can’t go. Do you want to go with me?”
“Sure,”
I got up and followed her out of the studio. This was as good a time as any to start slowly showing her that I wanted her back. Convincing her wouldn’t be easy, hell she would probably smack the hell out of me, but she could never deny me before. And with a little work I knew that I could get her back. Chloe loved me, and for the first time I was happy that she did, that was going to make this all easier, or so I hoped.
Chloe walked into the restaurant ahead of me, as I stayed back to open the door for her. She whispered thank you to me under her breath, but she made sure not to touch me in anyway. I frowned as I remembered the way she brushed against Blaze the night before when he had opened the car door for her. Her body had brushed intimately against his, her breasts rubbing against his chest as she slid into the car. I wouldn’t let this get me down though. There was still a chance that I could win her back, I just have to work at it a little bit harder than I had originally thought. Also I had to deal with that pesky little problem of me being married first. But even having a ring on my finger wasn’t going to stop me from making Chloe once again mine. I would burn in hell before I gave her up without a fight. I wouldn’t be able to breathe easy again knowing that if I lost, Blaze would take her to bed. That was unacceptable.
“Hi, table for two,” Chloe said to the receptionist. Within seconds we were led to the back
and were seated in a corner booth that was just intimate enough for my taste, this table suited me very well.
“Hi, I’m Sarah and I will be your waitress today. Can I start you off with some drinks?”
“Coke,” Chloe answered,
“Bud light,” I seconded.
Sarah walked away after letting us know that our drinks would be with us shortly. I was just happy that I was able to order a beer without Chloe throwing a fit. If I was at lunch with Jessica, she would have made a big deal about me ordering a beer, then she would have forced me to order something else. I turned to face Chloe and let my eyes scan over her face then down her body, cursing the table for cutting half her body off from me. A longing that I had never known entered me and I didn’t care too much for the feeling. I wanted her to be mine, it was almost to the point of desperation, especially when I thought of her in Blaze’s arms.
“Are you serious about Blaze?” I murmured without meaning to.
“We’re getting there,” Chloe replied calmly. Knowing Chloe for as long as I have made it impossible for her to hide when she was nervous. Oh she was calm when she answered me, but her answer seemed robotic, as if she were coached on what to say.
“I don’t like it,”
“You don’t get to have an opinion on who I see Zane, you gave up that right when you turned me down that last night,”
“I didn’t realize.. I wasn’t seeing the truth then,”
“It’s too late for you to see anything now,”
I growled as pain tore through me. My pain ridden eyes sought out hers as I tried to think of a response to that. We had barely started talking and I already felt like I was losing ground with her. This wasn’t going to be as easy as I had first thought, clearly she was mad at me still as well as hurt. Finally when I thought of a response, I was cut off by the waitress making her appearance again.
“Here are the drinks you ordered, have you decided on what you would like to order or do you need a few minutes?”
“Um, yeah we need a few minutes,” Chloe answered picking up her menu for the first time.
By the time the waitress finally walked away, I was practically fuming out the ears. “Chloe, I wasn’t thinking clearly this entire time. I’m starting to see a lot of things, and we need to talk about it,”
“Zane,” Chloe interrupted holding up her hand to stop me, “It doesn’t matter anymore. You’re married now, and I told you for years that once that happened what we had, whatever the hell that was, would be over. You made the decision to let me go, now you have to deal with me moving on,”
“I can’t do that,” I hissed then reached over the table to grab her hand, “What we had was great. I’m starting to see just how great. You can’t let this go so easily Chloe, you love me,”
“I do love you. I always have. How dare you use that against me now? When I laid my heart and dignity at your feet that night a few days before your wedding you stomped on them both,”
“I know that. Fuck I know I was an asshole. I realize now just how bad I’ve fucked up. I just need you to not give up on me yet. I promise I can make everything right again,”
“What do you mean again? There was never a time that what we had was right. The only damn difference is that I’m with Blaze now and you can’t handle it. Now that I’m with him I’m realizing just how badly you treated me that entire time. Hell I was like your dirty little secret,”
“What the fuck are you talking about? You were never my secret, everyone who was important to me knew what we were doing together,”
“Just not the rest of the world. I was good as a fuck buddy and a best friend. I just wasn’t good enough to date. You never felt anything for me other than lust. That hasn’t changed Zane, you’re just jealous because I’m with Blaze,”
“It isn’t jealousy,” I whispered, “I thought it was at first but it isn’t any longer. I can’t see you with him because it physically hurts me. Every time he kisses you I want to rip his fucking head off and he’s my best friend,”
“That sounds a lot like jealousy to me,”
“Chloe, I,”
Once again I was cut off by the reappearance of the waitress. Chloe glanced quickly at the menu and ordered the first thing that caught her eyes. I did the same then watched the waitress walk away. By this time I was nervous, Chloe was damn sure not making this easy on me. I picked up my beer and took a long pull off of it to calm myself down. Slowly but surely the hope I was living on was slowly starting to die.
“Zane, I don’t want to talk about this. You made your decision and now you have to live with it. I’m seeing Blaze at the moment. You had plenty of opportunities to have me fully, but you hadn’t wanted me then. You only want me now because you can’t have me,”
“Obviously I’m not going to prove shit to you right now. I know that I’ve hurt you too bad for you to trust anything I say right now. Mark my words Chloe, I will make you believe me because I’m not giving up,”
“It doesn’t matter if you give up or not. I’m in a relationship with someone else,”
“Don’t let him touch you,” I hissed earning a wide eyes stare from her.
“Excuse me?”
“Do not let him fucking touch you. He can kiss you all he damn well wants to, but do not let him touch you. That body has only ever been touched by me and it will fucking tear me in two if I know that he got to touch you how I used to,”
“Zane, you gave up the right to be the only man to touch me when you turned me down and married another woman. Now you know how I felt whenever you left my bed and went straight to another woman’s. I love you, Zane, I always have and god help me I probably always will, but I’m going to move on and Blaze is helping me do that. If I let him touch me that will be my decision and you will have no say so in it,”
“There is no way in hell that I will sit back and let Blaze have you. Do you honestly think that he will be able to pleasure you like I can? I’m the only man you’ve ever known. For twelve years your body has been made to please only me. If you closed your eyes right now and thought about it I know you would be able to recall what it feels like to have me moving deep inside of you. I can feel it when I want to. I know what you feel like on the inside, I’m the only one who knows how hot and tight you are. I won’t let someone else find out,”
Chloe closed her legs and squeezed her thighs together hard which earned a smirk from me. It seemed that she wasn’t so immune to me after all. She still wanted me, and if I had to use her desire for me then I would. That might have been a low blow, but I would do whatever the hell I could. On top of that, she had admitted that she still loved me. Hearing those beautiful words coming from her lifted the weight off my shoulders. There was still hope for me after all. The words used to send me running into the arms of another woman, now those words made me want to run into her arms and hold on tight. Now she was turned on and craving me. I moved fast knowing that her guard was down and by the time she realized what was happening she would be too far gone to stop me. Within seconds I slid out of my side of the booth and into hers. I felt her shiver against me as I pressed the side of my body into hers. I tossed one arm around her waist and brought her closer to me, then let my hand skim up and down the side of her body.
“Zane, stop,” She moaned out, but I didn’t listen. I was too far gone now.
“No,”
My hand went back down to her waist and then pushed under her shirt. I let my hand slowly skim up her side until I got to her bra. I heard her gasp and nearly groaned. My jeans grew tighter and I was dying to toss her down on the table and bury myself to the hilt inside of her. This wasn’t about me though, it was about her. I pushed my hand under her bra and grabbed her nipple between my fingers and pinched. She moaned in my ear causing me to smile when her nipple instantly hardened. She whimpered in my ear and brought her bottom lip between her teeth, something that drove me fucking insane. I couldn’t take it any longer, I had to fucking taste her again. I bent my head down and c
aptured her lips with mine in a heated kiss that had my head spinning.
I pushed my tongue deep into her mouth in an imitation of what my body wanted to do with hers. She sucked my tongue deeper and gently nibbled on it. Fuck me, that was fucking hot. I pinched her nipple hard and bit her lower lip. I was about to lose control worse then I already was. All I could think about was tearing her pants off and making her straddle me as I thrust as deep as I could go inside of her. I wanted to bottom out and pound into her until I shot my release deep inside and marked hers as mine again. My other hand was inching down her body, right when I got to the waist line of her jeans, I was interrupted by the waitress bringing over our food. I pulled back abruptly gasping for air, my chest heaving up and down as Chloe sat beside me and did the same. Sarah put our plants in front of us then winked before walking off again. Chloe jerked away from me, scooting as far away from me in the booth as she could. I silently cursed the waitress who had the worst damn timing ever. I looked back at Chloe, her face was flushed and her body was visibly throbbing for me. I groaned catching her attention. She gave me a wide eyed stare that was full of love, lust, pain, and guilt. It was the pain I saw that had me pulling back.
“Fuck, Chloe I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take it that far. At least not yet. I just lose my head when I’m with you,” I tried to explain
“Zane we can’t do this. You’re married, and I’m with Blaze,”
“Don’t say his name to me,”
“He’s your friend,”
“Some fucking friend. He should have known better then to move in on you,”
“Why? You spent years making it clear that you didn’t want me,”
Almost Easy (Sinister Ascent Book 1) Page 8