“Let me try to understand what you’re telling me. You pushed me aside in order to keep yourself from getting hurt?”
“I guess you can put it that way,”
“Doesn’t it bother you that in your attempt to not get hurt you fucking destroyed me?” His eyes closed as he scrubbed his hands down his face hard.
“I know I did, but I need you to forgive me,”
“Is that what all of this is about? I already forgive you Zane. That’s why I’m moving on,”
“I don’t want you to move on!” Zane yelled causing me to jump.
“Then what the hell do you want? Fuck, Zane, what is all of this about?”
“I want you. I don’t want to go another day without you in my arms, knowing the entire time that you’re in his. I know that we’re supposed to be together. Just give me a chance,”
“I have Zane,” I whispered as my eyes filled with tears, “I gave you over a hundred chances over the years, and I humiliated myself the entire time. I begged you that night that you had just gotten back from tour, you didn’t care. Hell, you told me that I was only a good fuck for you,”
ZANE
I hissed as my teeth clenched when I remembered those words, and the hurt that had entered her eyes when I had spat them at her. I had thought that it would have been easy to get her back in my arms. My plan was simple, lay my feelings at her feet and she would come running. But I was dead wrong. This wasn’t easy, hell it wasn’t even almost easy. It was obvious that I was losing her, I had pushed too far, and after all of this time it seemed that she was finally done with me. Fuck that. I was Zane fucking Wolfe, I didn’t make it this far in life, and in my career by giving up. And this, winning Chloe, it was worth risking everything.
“You know I didn’t mean that,”
“How could I know that? That’s how you always treated me, you made me feel like I was nothing but a body to you, unless you wanted a friend,”
“Not always. I know you remember that last night we had Chloe. That’s how I should have treated you since day one. That night my heart knew something that my mind didn’t. I know that you felt something that night, it wasn’t just me that felt it,”
“Zane, that doesn’t change everything,”
“I know. But I want a chance to change everything. Please, Chloe, just give me this,”
“And what? Dump Blaze and hurt him because all of a sudden you want me? How is that fair Zane?”
“Look, Blaze is like a fucking brother to me. I love him, but fuck him. He knew that his time with you was limited,”
“Zane, that’s not nice,”
“I don’t care. You don’t have a future with Blaze. Yeah, you can be with him, sleep with him, and hell even one day marry him. But you won’t be happy with him like you would with me. I know that with absolute certainty. Just like I know that no other woman will ever touch my heart the way that you have. I love you Chloe, and we owe it to each other to give this, us a chance,”
“I don’t know. I need time to think,”
In different circumstances I wouldn’t have considered letting her out of my house, but I had seen her eyes. Those last few words that I had uttered had touched something deep inside of her and I knew that she was weakening towards me. Being so close to her for all of these years had taught me how to read her facial expressions. Right now I was being told to retreat and give her the time she needed to think everything through. It was going to kill me, but I needed her to come to me on her own with a clear mind so that there were no regrets for either of us later on down the line.
“Chloe, I’m not going anywhere. Take all the time that you need to think about everything. I’ll be here,”
“Why now? Why are you doing this now?”
“I can’t lose you. Fuck, I can’t give you up. I love you, Chloe. And I know, I’m very aware that I’m hurting you, but this is killing me,”
“I can’t think straight. I need time. I have to go,”
I didn’t speak just nodded. I could see that she was very wrapped up in her own mind, so I walked her to the door and let her go. There was a part of me that was screaming at me to run after her. I was risking losing her. I was just hoping that I knew her as well as I thought I did. When she needed time, I had to give it to her. That way when she came back to me, and I had to believe that she would, we would both know that it was her that made the decision to come back to me. So I held myself back as she got into her car, and forced myself not to chase after her car as she pulled out of my driveway. I stood there until her car turned the corner. Just when I was about to go back inside another car pulled into my driveway.
“What are you doing here?” I asked my sister Violet as she got out of her car holding a delicious smelling, greasy pizza box.
“I heard that you were talking to Chloe. Figured that it could go one or two ways. Either really well or really bad, thought it would be a good idea for me to be here for either one,” I met her at the door and took the box of greasy perfection from her, then followed her into the house.
“Want something to drink?” I asked as I put the box down and headed to get plates and drinks.
“Anything cold,” When I walked back into the living room Violet was already sitting with a half-eaten piece of pizza in her hand, “So how did it go? You’re not in the fetal position crying so she didn’t break your heart, but she isn’t here, I’m going to guess that means she didn’t forgive you either,”
“Correct on both counts,”
“So what happened?”
“She needs time to think,”
“How did she seem when she left?”
“Upset. I had a lot to tell her, so she was probably in shock as well. But I didn’t lose her. I’m not sure that I will get her back, but I haven’t lost her yet,”
“Are you sure that giving her time to think was the best choice? I mean what if she thinks about everything and it turns her against you?”
“I hope that doesn’t happen. But I know Chloe. If I came on too strong to fast I would have definitely lost her. When she says that she needs time to think, then you give it to her. I took a risk letting her go, I know that, I’m just hoping that the reward is worth the risk,”
“I’m rooting for you Zane. I really am, but after everything, I’m not so sure that you’re going to come out the winner in all of this,”
“I’m starting to realize that, but that doesn’t mean I’m giving up. Hell I will only stop when I know for sure that there is nothing else that I can do to win her back,”
“It wasn’t as easy as you first thought is it?”
“It’s almost easy,”
“How does it feel being on the other end of the relationship?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re the one on the back burner now,”
“Excuse me?”
“Think about it Zane. You’re laying your heart out on the line for her and it’s you that is the vulnerable one. If she were to call you right now and ask for you to meet her in bed you would go running, even if you knew that she would climb out of bed with you and go back to Blaze. Your positions have been switched,”
“Is that your idea of a joke?”
“I’m not joking. I’m serious, think about it,”
I sighed, but really started to think about what she had said. Okay so it was true that Chloe now held all the cards when it came to our relationship. But that didn’t mean that I was on the back burner. Hell we had only slept together once since all of this began. So I didn’t agree with that part. But everything else that Violet said was true. Our positions had been switched. It was now me that was hoping like hell that the two of us would end up together. It was me that was wearing my heart on my sleeve, and it was me that was practically begging for her to end her relationship with the man that she was with so that we could be together.
“Shit,” I cursed earning a laugh from Violet.
“I love you Zane, but this has been so much fun to watch,”
“Fuck you,”
“I’m serious. It’s good to see that my big brother actually has feelings,”
“Why do people keep saying that to me?”
“Because it’s true,”
“Well I do have feelings. Always have. I just don’t let the fucking world see that. But when it comes to Chloe that’s going to change. If I get her back, everyone will know that I love her. I’m tired of hurting her, and myself,”
“You say if like you really think the two of you won’t end up together,”
“How are you so sure that we will?”
“Because it’s you and Chloe. The two of you belong together. All of us have known that since we were kids. There’s no way that the two of you won’t have a happy ending,”
“Oh yeah? If all of you have known since we were kids, then what the hell is Blaze doing dating her?”
“That’s a question that you need to ask him,”
I could tell that she was hiding something from me. Anytime I bring up Blaze and Chloe, Violet started acting weird. But there was so much other shit on my mind that I didn’t want to ask her. When things calmed down more I would talk to her about just what it is she’s hiding from me. Right now all I was going to focus on was getting Chloe back. Since I was now giving her time, the only thing that I could do was sit back and wait.
19
CHLOE
The second I left Zane’s house, I knew exactly where I was heading. There was only one person that I could talk to about all of this. Blaze had been there for me since day one, and during the time that we spent together we had become really close. Due to this, our friendship was stronger and would last a lifetime. I was no longer Zane’s best friend that he slept with. I was Blaze’s good friend now as well. So I knew that he would be willing to talk to me about all of this, especially since he wanted to know how this would end just as much as I did. Blaze may have had a lot of not so good qualities, but he was a hopeless romantic. I was under the impression that this was because he thought that if Zane and I could have a happy ending, then the same could happen for him and Brittany.
I would do everything I could to make that happy ending happen for the two of them. It was obvious as shit to anyone who knew the two of them when they were together that they were meant to be. That being the case, I knew why Blaze was so hell bent on making Zane and I work things out. Apparently the two of us looked as good together as Blaze and Brittany did. That was something else that I had to consider deeply. If everyone thought we belonged together, then maybe we did. Hell, the man said he loved me. I needed some serious advice from Blaze.
Fifteen minutes after I left Zane’s I was letting myself into Blaze’s house. I heard his loud game coming from the living room and knew that he was in the middle of playing some type of war game. I hated interrupting his game, especially since he so rarely had the down time to play the damn thing, but I needed to talk to him.
“Blaze, can I talk to you?” I spoke up getting his attention. He turned and shot me a smile before he shut off his game.
“What’s up beautiful?”
“Zane had a lot to say to me,”
“I figured he would. What happened?”
With those words I launched into my heated replay of mine and Zane’s conversation, leaving nothing out. At time’s Blaze’s eyes went wide, as if he couldn’t believe that Zane had finally admitted everything to me, but he stayed silent letting me talk. His facial expressions, although amusing, did not stop me from telling all that I had to tell. Once I was finally done with the play by play I stopped and took a huge breath, then waited for the still shocked Blaze to speak.
“Fuck, I can’t believe that this plan actually worked,” He said with a smug ass smile on his face.
“Well apparently it did. Now what the hell do you think I should do?”
“What do you mean? I mean hell Chloe. This is what you have wanted for twelve years. Why are you even asking me what you should do?”
“Look, over the past couple of months you have become really close with me. I mean hell you’ve been inside of me,” Blaze smirked at that but wisely didn’t speak, “So your advice means everything to me. Since you orchestrated this entire thing I want your honest opinion. Zane has put me through a lot of shit over the years. I’m not sure that I should just jump straight into his arms the second he tells me that he actually wants me. I’m tired of being pathetic when it comes to him. I don’t know what to do,”
Blaze sighed and wrapped his arms around me, bringing me close into his body. I didn’t have to ask how he knew what I was feeling. Blaze was able to read my emotions like an open book. He knew that this entire charade was very hard for me. Obviously it had all worked out the way that he thought it would, but it had definitely put me through the ringer in the process. It wasn’t Blaze’s intention to cause me pain during all of this, in fact he had wanted just the opposite. We were both aware that he had advice that he was dying to give me. But we both knew that the choice would be up to me in the end.
“When we started all of this I wanted to hurt Zane just a little bit to show him how bad he had made you feel this entire time. But I was astounded by how much it all actually hurt him. For months now he has watched you and I together, and each time he saw some small gesture shared between the two of us a piece of his heart was torn out of him. It was obvious if you looked him in the eyes. Now I’m not saying go and jump into his arms and forgive everything. But I am saying that after seeing us together, he is definitely feeling all the pain he has ever put you through. Especially not knowing if you and I are going to end up together over you and him. So he is definitely been tortured enough. His punishment is over, so all you have to do is decide what it is you really want,” Damn when Blaze had something to say, he defended it so there was no room for argument.
“Do you really think,,,”
“Yes I do. Zane loves you, and he is hurting. Come on Chloe, this is Zane we’re talking about here. He doesn’t lay his heart out for anyone, but he did for you. But in the end all you can do is what you think is right,”
“What would you do?”
“No, Chloe don’t do that,”
“Please, Blaze. Just answer me. If this was you and the love of your life trampled on you heart too many time to count, then finally asked you to be theirs, would you do it?”
“I wouldn’t hesitate,”
“Really?”
“Chloe, you know that I have feelings for someone that I can’t have at the moment. If the moment ever comes that I can, I wouldn’t hesitate to get with her. You have the chance to be with the man that you have loved for twelve years. Go for it,”
Just like that I was deeply lost in my own thoughts again. I heard Blaze chuckle at what I was assuming was my deep thinking face but I ignored it. My mind was swirling with information overload. I wasn’t sure that I would ever be able to think clearly again. Zane had dropped a bombshell on me today, and Blaze was honestly trying to help, and he was, but my brain couldn’t keep up. Without thinking, due to having a fried brain, I leaned forward and skimmed my lips over his. He kissed me back as I skimmed my teeth over his big bottom lip. He grunted into my mouth then pulled back and gently rested his forehead against mine.
“You’re going to try aren’t you?” He asked as he licked over his bottom lip.
“I’m not sure. But I think so,”
“That’s good Chloe. I want you to be happy,”
“And I want that for you as well. So while we’re together, let’s talk about how we can get you can Brittany back together,”
“Chloe, I don’t see that happening,”
“I do. You’re in love with her, and I’ve seen the way she looks when your name is mentioned. So here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to spend time with Brittany and get a better feel on how she feels about you now. Then we will go from there,”
“Why does you saying that make me nervous?”
“Because it should. I’m a masterm
ind when it comes to this. Plus I already have a plan,”
Blaze groaned at my words as his eyes closed tight, “Please don’t do anything rash,”
“Blaze, trust me. You’ve helped me out so much that I’m going to return the favor. All I’m really going to do is throw the two of you together alone. Hopefully nature will take its course,”
“I have no idea how to be around her. I haven’t seen her in years. This makes me nervous,”
“Blaze, you get on stage in front of millions of people a night, and you’re nervous about seeing one person?”
“She holds my heart Chloe. So yes, I’m nervous about seeing the woman who could destroy me,”
“Or give you everything you’ve ever wanted,”
“You’re good,” Blaze tightened his hold on me and rested his face in the curve of my neck, “It’s weird that this thing between the two of us is going to end,”
“I know. Damn it’s been a fun ride,”
Blaze broke out laughing and hugged me tighter. I really hoped that I could help him out like he had helped me. I wanted to return the favor for him. I wasn’t sure that the end result would work out like mine had in the long run. For now I was happy that I could see a little bit of hope in Blaze’s eyes. It had been a long time since there was a sincere emotion in his eyes. The second I had all of my shit with Zane worked out, I would really start getting the two of them together. For now, I was going to throw them into the same room so many times they won’t remember what it felt like to not constantly be around the other person. Like Blaze had once said, let the games begin.
20
Chloe
Brittany sat across from me in the fancy restaurant and placed her order with the waiter before turning back to me. This was the third time we had got together this past week, and our already very close friendship and formed even better. We had known each other nearly our entire lives, we had all grown up together. However, there was a elephant in the room that neither of us were talking about. We both knew what it was, but Brittany wouldn’t be the one to bring it up. So it would be up to me. It was time for us to talk about what was on both of our minds so that we could clear the air for the both of us.
Almost Easy (Sinister Ascent Book 1) Page 19