by Mia Soto
***
“You have to wear the two piece. Please Laura.” Jenna was on her knees begging as Laura pulled up her old reliable Speedo. “I refuse to let you out of here wearing that.” Jenna was in her yellow polka dot bikini and even at 14 looked better than Laura in a one piece. “Please.” She said one last time a little pitifully.
Laura sighed, “I can’t Jenna. Please.” Her please was even more pitiful because it was wrapped around heaps and heaps of insecurity.
Jenna’s shoulder’s dropped. “I don’t know what to say to you. You know who my guy friends are all goo eyed over? You, not Sara.” Laura rolled her eyes. “Don’t roll your eyes. It’s true. And the more I look at you two I get it. It’s the same reason Darren isn’t interested. It’s the same reason she doesn’t keep a guy interested for more than a week. Darren is right she’s empty. But her beauty is kinda empty too. It’s not easy beauty like yours. You look like those girls in Sport Illustrated magazine.”
“Oh God, stop.” Laura put her hands on her hips in exasperation. That was ridiculous.
“It’s true. See those,” She pointed at Laura’s full chest. “They like those.” Laura cracked up. “That's why she's always talking about getting a boob job when she leaves. She's got more padding in her bra than anything. She's so skinny she can't get boobs. Guys like you, Laura. A lot. I’m the one who walks behind you guys at the mall and it's you they're staring down. But you're always looking at the ground.”
Laura digested that little speech with a pursed lip and healthy dollop of disbelief. Then why was she so single? Why didn’t she have plans every Saturday like Sara? She could tell Jenna believed her words so Laura sighed deeply and went to her drawer. Together they sifted through until once again they found an item with tags still on, a monokini from an early in the summer, hopefully she’d loose those 25 pounds, shopping spree.
Once she got it on and looked in the mirror she turned away quickly. “No.”
“Yes.” Jenna’s eyes were glittering.
“I can’t.” Laura’s voice cracked a little. She couldn’t take off her cover and reveal this to Darren. She just couldn’t. “Please, I can’t see his reaction if he doesn’t like it.”
“He’s going to love it. Laura you look amazing. All that hair and holy crap your body. It's kinda obscene. Just this time, please, please, please listen to me.”
They heard their mom call up to them, “girls, the boys are here.”
Jenna hugged Laura and handed her the cover and left. Laura knew Jenna would be disappointed if she changed out of the suit. With sweaty hands she threw on the cover and some loose shorts. She rushed from the room before fear propelled her back into the safe choice. She bounded downstairs excited to see Darren, and of course Sara was already there preening. If she had behaved like Sara had the night before, she’d be hiding in her room in shame, too embarrassed to face the same people again. Not Sara. She was strutting in a micro bikini and high wedge flip flops and a beach bag. No cover. Who needed something like that, Laura thought mockingly. The guys looked over at her as she entered the room and Darren immediately left The Sara Show to walk up to her.
“Hi,” he smiled and everything seemed right again. “You ready?”
“Yeah.” She nodded and was shocked when he took her hand right there in front of her parents. Her first instinct was to pull away but he held her tightly. In panic she looked to her mom, who, to her surprise, was beaming. She relaxed and allowed herself to enjoy the warm pressure of his fingers enclosed around hers.
They rumbled out and down the path laughing and having fun. About twenty minutes into the walk Sara was regretting her impractical outfit. Wedges weren’t made for hiking and to cliff jump you had to hike, repeatedly.
“Darren,” Sara whined breaking up the sweet flirting Laura and he had been doing bringing up the rear of the group.
“Yeah, Sara?” His voice had a hint of exasperation to it.
“Can you carry me? My feet are dying.”
“I bet. John, wanna carry Sara?”
John was in front with Jenna laughing and talking. He turned a little to answer Darren, “what?”
“Sara says her feet hurt. She wants you to carry her.” Darren cackled at the pained look that crossed John’s face.
“I said you, Darren.” Sara stamped her foot with a pout.
“Well there you go,” John laughed out loud and went back to his conversation with Jenna. Sara looked at Darren expectantly.
“I’m not carrying you, Sara.”
She huffed and started walking again, “I thought you marines were so gallant.”
Laura could tell Sara was striking a nerve in Darren. He was gallant, but it was clear he didn’t really like Sara. “You can have my shoes, Sara. I’ll go barefoot.”
Sara nodded vigorously and kicked her shoes off waiting for Laura’s more sensible flip flops. Darren looked annoyed as the girls made the exchange.
“Ok Princess,” he said pointing at a rock. “Climb up here. I’ll get you there.” She smiled as she followed his orders and he held her piggy back style. Sara looked furious as they walked by her. “Alright Sara, start walking,” Darren ordered.
They reached the cliff and all five of them stood in a row looking over the high jump. They could see the bags they had dropped on the flat rock by the pool below. Laura broke into a sweat. She didn’t think she could do it.
“Who’s first?” John asked with excitement.
“One of you guys should go first,” Jenna said. “Show us how to do it.”
John smiled, “stand back ladies and admire the technique.”
He went back about ten feet and then took off in a hard run until he reached the ledge and broke into a graceful swan dive. The remaining group looked over the edge to watch him dive in like knife. He broke the surface with a smile. They all grinned at the same time. Jenna went next doing a front flip out and then going down in a jack knife. Not to be out done, Sara tried to cartwheel but her form was bad and she was out of practice. She lost her balance went out like duck getting hit by a plane and landed in a semi belly flop. The sound was painful and her cry after confirmed that it wasn’t pleasant.
“Ok, Princess, don’t do that.” Laura laughed. She needed humor as she stood by the cliff’s edge. “You can do it. Jump. I’ll be right behind you.”
“I don't know. I-I can’t Darren. I’ll walk back down and meet you there.”
He held her firm, her cover still on because she hadn’t had the courage to shed it with the rest of them. “Jump out and then go foot first. Just once, for you.”
She got a quizzical look as she peered down, “not for you?”
He tugged her head back to him and smothered her in their first kiss of the day. She sighed mentally, right, he knew how to kiss. He held her head back so he could keep eye contact from his height. “For you Princess. Jump, for you. I’ll see you down there.” He kissed her again and let go. “Jump.”
And armed with the strength of her wet lips, she did. And she thought she really did it for him but about two seconds into it, she knew she’d done it for her. The air whizzed by, the momentum built and before she knew it her feet struck the water and she split it sealing herself inside of it for a few short seconds. She came up elated and sputtering from water that had gone up her nose.
She heard Darren’s elated cry and then a shout as he launched himself out into the air. He struck the water near her seconds later. Instead of springing back up he swam under until he was near her. She was laughing as he attacked her with all limbs and mouth. They lost themselves in the wet, sloppy kiss until John cleared his throat. Laura flushed.
Sara, still bright red from her fall, huffed, “you two need a room.”
Laura blushed harder until her eyes landed on Jenna who was beaming ear to ear. Jenna bounced up onto the rock and cried, “let’s do it again.”
> Laura begged for a little more time to rebuild her courage. So John, Sara and Jenna left chattering and laughing. Laura was looking up at the cliff marveling that she had jumped off of it when it occurred to her that Darren was being very quiet and still. In fact, a silence had formed around them. She brought her eyes back down slowly to meet his gaze, intense and unwavering.
“Uhh, I guess I should take this off.” She tugged at the cover that was dragging her down. “It’s so hot it will probably be dry by the time we leave.”
“I’ve been waiting for that,” he said with a smile. She nodded a little embarrassed and swam for the rock. She struggled to get up until his hand planted firmly on her bottom and he boosted her out. Again, she died a little inwardly. With her back to him she reached for her shirt but he stopped her. “No, let me see you take it off.”
She gulped. She wasn’t ready for him. “Ok,” she whispered and turned around. Unable to meet his eyes she grabbed the hem and peeled it off in one quick gesture. Her eyes were closed but she knew she’d have to open them. She gave him enough time to gather his thoughts and maybe wipe away the look of disgust before she opened them. When she did, she stepped back slightly. He was still staring and if he was a fox and she was hare she’d be in really big trouble. She fidgeted under the stare pulling at the suit, starting to cross her arms, then uncrossing them.
“Stop fidgeting.” He commanded.
“Why are you staring?” She asked almost upset.
“Because you’re beautiful.”
Her eyes met his expecting humor, sarcasm, but there was only honesty and sincerity. Tears filled her eyes. She was about to respond when John trotted up. She turned and he stopped in his tracks, his mouth falling open a little. He whistled quietly and kept staring.
“Stop staring at my girl, Chow.” Darren warned with humor.
John shook himself and started again for his shorts. “Didn’t want to forget the GoPro again.” He found what he was looking for and started to leave but gave Laura one more once over. “I always pick the wrong one.”
He left with a wink for her. She relaxed a little and went to sit by the rock. She couldn’t get comfortable. She wanted to be hidden in the water.
“Why are you fidgeting?” Darren lifted up to sit next to her. His arm rested behind her back near her bottom. His leg was pressed along hers.
“Because I want to get in the water.”
“To hide?” He looked into her eyes without judgement. She started to shake her head but stopped and nodded. “You don’t have anything to hide.”
She rolled her eyes, “yeah, sure. I look just right. No one better than me.”
“That’s right.” He leaned back to sun bathe on his arms. She turned a little to keep his eye contact. He stared at her intensely for a few long, uncomfortable moments. “You look spot on right. In all the right places as far as I can see. And I don’t know why you think otherwise. I mean I guess I know who you’re comparing yourself to. But you heard my opinion about all that already.”
She smiled biting her lip looking out over the large pool that spilled over down another cliff. She thought to fill the silence with noise so asked, “Where are you from, Darren?”
He had rested back with his arms behind his head and his eyes closed. The contented smile he was wearing slipped a bit as he scrunched his face. “Missouri. Little nowhere town just outside Springfield.”
“Wow, that’s far. It must have been scary to travel all the way over here by yourself.” She knew that from yesterday at the cave.
He let his answer out in a whispered huff, “yeah.”
The silence returned and it seemed like he was finished speaking. He wasn’t one for conversation she’d noticed. She looked out again trying to think of other banter to fill the silence that she didn’t seem as comfortable with as he did. She was about to ask if he had any siblings when he spoke again.
“Took every penny I had to get out here.” She turned back to look at him, his eyes still closed. “I’d saved for half a year hiding my money from that rat bastard. When I bought my tickets I bought the wrong one and I ended up 200 miles away. I didn’t have any more money. I thought about hitching but there wasn't enough time. I had to report in a day. So I sold my ipod. I’d gotten it for Christmas year before from one of them toy drives they do for us that time of year. The old woman sobered up long enough to sneak us out so we could stand in line for 3 hours. Didn’t think there would be anything worthwhile left by the time we got up there and I was right but I was still excited. Then someone came out with a forgotten box. The apple store had dropped off a box of shit. I thought it was the luckiest day of my life.” She turned back around to look out over the water again because she could see this wasn’t easy for him to say. His eyes were still closed as if afraid of her reaction and his face was hard. Her eyes watered. These were the children who waited for those donations from her private schools and country clubs toy drives. It was heartbreaking.
“Guy at the pawn shop only wanted to give me seventy-five dollars. I needed one hundred and fifty. So I made a deal. He was an ex-marine from Vietnam and he had a soft spot for fellow marines. Anyway, I got here and Chow was already in the room. He and the guys were going for dinner at a local joint. I was so hungry. I hadn’t eaten in two days but I didn’t have any more money. I was praying there might be army rations by the next day. I said I had to unpack and told him to have fun. Chow laughed and said, ‘you gotta come. It’s tradition for the first roommate to show up to buy dinner for the other roommate, show him around and stuff’. I was so dumb and I guess hungry I chose to believe that bullshit line. I paid him and the pawn shop back with my first check. I didn’t want him to make a big deal, say I didn’t need to pay. And he didn’t. He just walked into the room and looked at the cash on his pillow. He picked it up and put it in his wallet and kept talking about whatever it was he was talking about.”
His words stopped. It was the most he’d ever said all at once, at least to her. Tears were streaming down her face but she knew she needed to turn and look at him. She knew his eyes were open and he was waiting her reaction. She took a second to figure out a way to hide her tears. That was futile. So she wiped them openly and turned to him with a watery smile. The worry in his eyes was replaced with a softer light when he saw her tear streaked face. He lifted up onto his elbows and wiped her cheek. “You’re one of those silent criers.”
She's snaked down to him with a wavering smile and hugged him tightly, resting her head over the deep thump of his heart. His arms wrapped her tightly. They were so warm and thick, protective and safe. And they seemed to only be interested in holding her. She lost track of the beats of time. The silence felt natural finally. Her mind raced with happiness at having met him, with excitement for the romantic feelings of nausea that kept sweeping over her since meeting him and frustration that fate had only given them five days. She sat up and looked down at his smiling face. “I wish I’d known you were here too.”
He swooped up quickly attacking her with his mouth. “None of that right now.” He gently tackled her waist and they awkwardly fell into the pool. She came up with a mouthful of her hair. He pushed it back and pulled her into him. Her legs wrapped naturally around his lean waist. His arm locked around her back while his free hand ran the length of her thigh to her bottom. Their gaze was unbreakable and she was hardly breathing when he finally sank his lips onto hers. They were tangled in their embrace and falling faster and faster into each other’s spell when they heard the group reach the top.
Jenna launched first then John with his camera attached and then Sara in a very safe foot forward leap. They had a massive water fight and then ate the sandwiches the girls had packed. Laura was leaning back with Darren’s head in her lap enjoying the broiling sun and wishing the moment might never end. She looked over at Jenna who pretty much hadn’t stopped beaming at her all afternoon. <
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Jenna popped a grape in her mouth and asked, “what are you guys up to tonight?”
John was by her laying on his stomach eating off the same grape bunch. “Gotta work, Squirt.” She pouted and Laura felt a wave of disappointment sweep her. “We have night duty.”
Darren sat up quickly and jumped to his haunches. He grabbed Laura’s hands and yanked her up as he said, “but before that, Beautiful, here, and I are jumping one more time.”
Her feet stood grounded as he gently tugged. She’d hoped she had avoided another jump given they all seemed content to lounge after the last one. “I-I don’t know Darren. One jump a day may be my limit.” She squealed when he bent over and threw her over one should without what seemed like any effort at all.
He was walking off down the path saying, “I swear to God you’re the queen of ‘I don’t know’.”
She squealed for a little before she convinced him she wouldn’t run back if he put her down. Despite the movies and romance novels, that was a pretty uncomfortable position to be in and not as romantic as she would have once thought. Then they walked for a little more before she asked, “so you have to work?”
He had her hand as he led her. It felt so right, warm, pressing the perfect amount of pressure. “Yeah, baby, I do.” They walked on in the quiet her thoughts racing. She loved all the pet names he had for her. If she were confident enough, she would give him one. But she still worried that every time they parted he’d see the light and not come back. Then he surprised her again when he asked, “want to have dinner with me tomorrow night? I can’t do anything before then.”
Her stomach flopped and she bit her lip trying to hide her smile. Of course he turned right then to see her giddiness and she flushed red at getting caught, but he smiled and stopped and walked her into him to lace her lips with his and suffocate her with the taste and push of his open mouth on hers. When he broke he raised his eyebrows expectantly, “so?”
“Uhh, yeah, I’d love to have dinner with you. Y-you know, I, uh, I just have to…” He cut her off with a kiss then started walking again.
“I’ll talk to your parents.” He said confidently.
She smiled and decided to be coy. “So, is this like a date?”
He turned his head to throw a smile over his shoulder. “What do you think?”
“Well, I mean, I think it sounds like a date.”
He chuckled and then sighed. “Just be beautiful when I pick you up. I might never get another chance to show off something as perfect as you on my arm.”
And she melted into a little puddle and reformed an inch taller and more sure of herself. They reached the ledge and she hedged again.
“Just go fast,” he urged. She was having none of it so he led her back ten yards and took her hand. “We’ll go together.”
“Really?” It was almost a relief if she didn’t still have to actually jump.
“You and me, Princess. We’re going to run towards it. Not worry about nothing. Whether we can or can't. Whether it's a good idea or not. Then we’re gonna jump high and hard and gravity will do the rest.” She looked at him with open eyes wondering if there wasn’t a world of meaning more behind those words and nodded. “Run and when I say jump, jump.”
They started out, the gravel loose and sandy under their feet. He matched his gait to hers and her smile grew as the momentum blew her hair back. And when they reached the edge without hesitation he called out to her.
“Jump.”