Behind These Blue Eyes

by Cecilia Randell

  As soft moonlight filtered through the window, she drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep.

  CHAPTER 7

  BLUE

  “Next up, we have Blue and Phoebe, singing Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!”

  The voice of the announcer for the 80s themed karaoke night cut through the dying applause for the last singer. Phe grabbed her hand, tugging Blue from the low table at the edge of the crowd and up onto the stage. Bright pink and purple lights played over the glittering silver background. Three mics stood at the front of the stage, and Blue struggled to adjust one to her height as the music started.

  “I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” she hissed at Phe, who just grinned back, twirling in her brightly colored tights, legwarmers and crop top. A side pony tail and oversized hoop earrings completed the get-up.

  Phe was having way too much fun with this.

  Little squares on the screen in front of them counted down, and it was time to start.

  Phe belted out the first line.

  Tugging on her own side tied and oversized, off-the-shoulder t-shirt, Blue tried to get the next words to come out as more than the squeak of a terrified ferret.

  She watched the words on the screen as they changed color, marking the place in the music.

  Better. Not pretty, but better. Beside her, Phe wiggled and twirled, carrying the song. Glancing over to their table, where Kevin and Forrest sat, clapping along, she sent them a wide-eyed save me look. Forrest laughed and shook his head, while Kevin gave her a thumbs up and mouthed “you got this”.

  Fuck it.

  When the first chorus started, Blue shoved aside her embarrassment and got into it, belting the words out and spinning along with Phe. It was horrible, she was off key, and slightly off beat, but really, who cared?

  By the time the song finished, she was out of breath, sweaty, and grinning like a fool. She and Phe bowed, Phe with a flourish of her arm, to the applause of the crowd, the loudest of which came from a certain table off to the left and a few rows back.

  “Well, that was certainly fun. Next, we welcome Kevin to the stage.”

  Kevin shoved back his chair and bounced up to the stage, passing Blue as she left, legs shaking. He gave Phe a quick kiss then grabbed up a mic. As Blue took her seat, taking a huge gulp of water, the opening bars of Jump started. She watched open mouthed as Kevin danced, his moves reminiscent of the prime minister in Love Actually. When they sang the chorus together, heads together, she giggled.

  “They are so cute together, it kind of makes me sick. Like I just swallowed a slug.” Despite his words, Forrest wore a wide smile. He bounced in his chair in time to the song. “Wanna do a song together?”

  Blue’s heart skipped. “I— I don’t know if that’s the best idea, you heard me up there.”

  “Eh, you did fine, especially for your first time. Hey, this is an item on your List, right?”

  “It’s what gave Phe the idea in the first place. Though, as soon as I mentioned it, she latched on and wouldn’t let go.” Up on stage Phe did some sort of swirly move and twined around Kevin. “She’d pretty darn good, too.”

  “Oh yeah, she is. We—” His expression dimmed a bit. “We used to come all the time. It kind of fell apart after Freshman year, but Derrick and I would still accompany Phe when she wanted to go. Phi was always harder to convince.” He shrugged. “So, how about it? Want to do a song together?”

  “I don’t know much…” She wracked her brain, trying to come up with another one she knew well enough. “Eye of the Tiger?”

  He snorted. “You got it. I’ll just go put us down.”

  Up on stage, Kevin and Phe wrapped up, setting aside the mics and doing a goofy dance-walk off the stage, getting the loudest applause yet of the night.

  The next person took the stage, this one going with Flock of Seagulls.

  “Well, that was entertaining,” Blue teased as Kevin and Phe returned to the table.

  They laughed. “That is the point,” Phe teased back.

  She listened as they discussed other songs they may want to do. When Forrest returned, Kevin directed his next question to him, moving on to a new subject. “So, are you still planning to start you apprenticeship at your uncle’s shop?”

  This was new to Blue, Forrest hadn’t mentioned anything about it yet. Although, she also had things she needed to tell them. Maybe this was the perfect segue.

  “He’s going to let me start with the needle in the summer. Says I’ve put in enough time with the part-time stuff, running the front, cleaning up. Things like that. Actually, I’ve put in more than enough time already, but he won’t let me touch a needle ‘til I’m done with school.” Forrest grimaced, then shrugged. “Understandable, really. But, he agreed to the apprenticeship. I can have my license in three years.” His gaze slid to Blue as he said this last, caution masking any other emotion. “What about you?”

  Too perfect. “Actually, I was thinking of taking a gap year, maybe signing up for one of those volunteering abroad programs.”

  By Forrest and Phe’s reactions, you’d have thought she just said she was planning to be artificially inseminated and start a family really early.

  “What?” Forrest twisted to her, his gaze boring into the side of her head. Yes, she deliberately wasn’t looking at him.

  Phe thunked her head on the table then peeked up through her lashes. “I don’t think that’s a great idea, bestie. You do have a tendency to get kidnapped.”

  “That was one time, and you got kidnapped too!”

  “I think it’s a great idea.” Kevin folded his arms and leaned back, giving her a small smile.

  Forrest shifted his glare to the other boy and Phe straightened. “How can you say that?”

  “Why don’t you guys let her explain before you overreact anymore?”

  “I don’t think it’s an over reaction at all,” Phe mumbled. “Fine, tell us, why do you want to go haring off on unnecessary adventures and get yourself killed.”

  Blue stared at Phe, her tight shoulders and the nearly invisible tremble of her lips. She’s scared. Keeping her voice even, wanting to reassure everyone, well, Phe and Forrest, she gave her reasoning. “I’m not going to get myself killed. There are a lot of really good programs out there.” She peeked at Forrest, whose tight expression hadn’t eased. “Part of it is because of what happened on Karran. Can you honestly tell me you don’t wonder at what else is out there? What we didn’t have a chance to see, to explore? This is… this is my chance to do that. Even if it is just on Earth. There are so many cultures, countries… people.” She twisted to face Forrest fully, earnest. “It would only be for a year. And, I really only decided this a few weeks ago. On my birthday actually. I already have my mom’s agreement. I’m still going to apply to my top schools. And, really, this isn’t much different from going off to college.”

  Forrest’s stony face softened, but he still didn’t speak. Their gazes locked, and something shifted between them. Her belly tightened, like it had at the concert. It occurred to her, she could have something with Forrest. Really have something with him, if she was just brave enough to take that next step. And if she could set aside thoughts of people she’d never see again.

  The moment drew out until she was ready to implode. Finally, Forrest sat back in his chair. The movement, innocent enough, still had her jerking, she was that wound up.

  “I guess I never thought about what would happen after school was out.” His voice was soft, so she had to strain to hear him over the current singer.

  She swallowed. “Yeah, it’s not something I want to think about either… but we need to.” She leaned forward, looking to each of them in turn. “There is no way I’m losing any of you. I mean, we just need to figure out a plan to keep in touch, to meet up.” Her attention cut to Forrest and stuck there. “Or… I could still stick around here, maybe take on line classes, or do a two-year program at the community college. It’s supposed to be really good.” Even as she said it, a
seed of dissatisfaction settled in her. That was a route she feared she would regret.

  Forrest wore a smile now, but it was sad. “No, you need to do your thing. We’ll figure it out. You’re right, I’m not letting you go.”

  A wealth of meaning was packed into those words, and Blue swayed toward him.

  “All right! Folks, up next is Forrest and Blue, with ‘Eye of the Tiger’! Let’s give ‘em some encouragement!”

  The announcer’s words broke the spell and Forrest jumped from his seat, holding his hand out to Blue. “Ready for this?”

  “No, but let’s do it anyway.” She slapped her hand into his and allowed him to pull her to the stage.

  The intro started, and Blue moved, getting into the driving beat.

  Then Forrest started singing and she froze. Great cat balls, his voice was beautiful. She didn’t want to open her mouth and ruin this. Damn.

  He nudged her shoulder and motioned for her to join him. Reluctantly, she did, and the contrast between her yowling alley cat voice and his dulcet-friggin’ tones was stark. She glared and he rolled his eyes, giving her a hip bump.

  As the song went on, she got into it. The lyrics were also amazingly appropriate. Maybe she’d make it her theme song. Everyone needed one of those.

  The song wrapped up, Forrest doing some awesome air-guitar while he left the last of the lyrics to Blue. Once again, she bowed to the half laughing, half cheering crowd. She started off the stage, but Forrest didn’t follow. She turned back to him and he shooed her away, even as the announcer called his name for the next song.

  “Blue, I’m sorry.” Phe said as soon as her butt hit her seat. Soft, delicate music started. “I should have thought about—” She cut off, eyes wide as the spun in her chair to stare at Forrest.

  Forrest’s voice washed over them. Phe peeked back at Blue. “Holy shit. I can’t believe he’s doing this song.”

  It sounded familiar, but she couldn’t quite place it. It was from a movie, and there was something about a fairy, and goblins, and an owl. “What’s wrong with this song?”

  Phe grinned. “Not a damned thing. Not. One. Damned. Thing.” She twisted in her seat and stared at Forrest.

  Blue did as well. He stood on the stage and stared right back at her. The song was beautiful, even if it was a little sad. Her eyes stung and she blinked as he held the last note.

  As the music died away and Forrest made his way off the stage to thunderous applause, Phe explained. “It’s from Labyrinth. It was one of his favorite movies as a kid. Only thing he never liked was the ballroom scene. He always said the Goblin King was an idiot for falling in love.”

  Coloring, Blue shifted in her seat. “It’s just a song.”

  Phe opened her mouth but cut off whatever she would have said as Forrest reached the table.

  “Damn. Where did you learn to sing like that?” Even Blue heard the awe in her voice, and her cheeks heated further.

  Forrest shrugged, but he couldn’t suppress his grin.

  “Blue,” Phe reached over the table. “I really am sorry. I was just worried about you. But, if you want to do the whole travel the world thing, who am I to stop you? We’ll just set up a check in system, so we know you’re okay. Who knows, maybe you’ll have a companion or two. I haven’t made set plans.”

  Kevin frowned. “Yes, you did. You already applied to the theater program at UT. We’re going together.”

  “You’re going into theater?” Blue couldn’t help teasing Kevin.

  “Funny. No. They actually have a pretty good architecture program.”

  They talked some more about plans, and Blue felt a pang at the idea that they would all be staying here, in Austin, while she would be the only one leaving. She’d kind of thought everyone would scatter, and keeping in touch would be something they would all have to do. Instead, she was the only one leaving.

  Dammit.

  “Hey, what about your tattoo?” Phe flicked a pretzel at Forrest, grabbing his attention.

  “Hmmm? Oh, yeah. I need to finish making some adjustments, but I want to get it soon.”

  “Is it the one pinned up on your board?” She recalled the stylized drawing, a small cut-out of Beast overlaid on one corner. “You and Kevin did it together?”

  “It should be ready in a week or two. Uncle Vic says he can fit me in.” His breath hitched on the last word.

  “Do you think I could come?” The words slipped out of her mouth before she realized what she was thinking. “I mean, see the shop, and… I’d like to be there while you get the tattoo.”

  Forrest studied her face, his own contemplative. “Maybe. This may be something I… need to do by myself.”

  “Okay.” Her voice came out small and she firmed up her next words. “I would like that tour.”

  “Of course. But, if I need you to come with me…?”

  “I’ll be there.”

  Kevin and Phe exchanged a look then grinned at her.

  “Anyone want to go on a hike tomorrow?” That wiped the smiles off their faces. Yeah, not awkward at all, Blue. “It’s just, my mom has been nagging me about getting out of the house more, and I hate that I’m too scared to do something I love so much. We would go to a completely different place.” She paused. “Oh, and I told my mom everything. She knew, you guys. Apparently, my dad always vetoed potential jobs based on whether there were portals in the area. Only, he couldn’t do that for Austin.”

  The others continued to stare. A man up on stage blared out the lyrics to “I Fought the Law” as servers slid among the tables. The entrance door opened, sending a wave of cool air through the room.

  “So… if you guys want to talk with her, I’m sure she’d be totally willing.”

  Nothing.

  “I think she’d really like your mom, Forrest.”

  Finally, Phe snorted. Kevin giggled. Giggled. Forrest doubled over, narrowly missing hitting his head on the table, shoulders shaking.

  Blue folded her arms. “Fine. We don’t have to go hiking.”

  Forrest raised his head, waving a hand as he worked to catch his breath. “No, no. We’ll go.”

  “Can’t avoid it forever,” Phe got out before dissolving into laughter.

  “You guys are annoying.”

  Kevin just nodded, little hiccups escaping.

  Blue smiled. Damn, I lucked out.

  CHAPTER 8

  BLUE

  A cold wind blew over Blue’s face. She tilted her head back and enjoyed the sun’s warming rays. February in Texas was a month of contradictions. The week before it had been almost freezing, and today the temperature hit the mid-fifties. Next week the high was supposed to be in the twenties.

  She, Forrest, Kevin and Phe had decided to take advantage of the break in the cold and get out. This particular trail was one of her favorites, one they’d done a few times now, as it led to an amazing overlook and view.

  “I’m going to go on ahead, guys. I’ll see you up there,” she called out to the others, who were still at the car, pulling on their packs and shoes.

  FORREST

  Forrest studied Blue. She sat near the edge of the overlook, gazing out at the view. Her expression was calm, almost peaceful, but there was a shadow in her eyes. It was one which never seemed to leave these days. He knew it was because of Karran. Not what happened, she’d finally come to terms with that, and so had he, mostly, but because of the place itself, and the people left behind. He wasn’t stupid, he had seen how she felt about Mo’ata, how she’d started to form bonds with others as well. And he knew her well enough to see she missed the possibilities of adventure, despite her gap year plans. Seeing her like this hurt him in turn.

  “There you are,” he said. She glanced back then patted the ground beside her. He sat, joining her and looking over the trees and hills spread before them. To a certain extent, he knew how she felt. Recently, he had found himself thinking of the amazing museums and art pieces they’d seen during those last days before returning to Earth.

/>   He pulled his gaze from the Texas hills and studied the blue streaks in her hair. It had grown out, but she’d kept up those streaks. He loved them. “You doing okay?” he asked as he gave her shoulder a nudge.

  She studied him, her expression wistful. “Yeah,” she finally said, “I am. I’m doing okay.”

  “But you miss it.” Forrest knew she did, it wasn’t a question, but she answered anyway.

  “I do miss it. I keep thinking of all the adventures waiting out there, all the worlds.”

  Her words hit him like little blows. Again, he already knew, but to hear her confirm it hurt, just a little. He wanted to be enough for her. Forrest took a deep breath. “You miss him, too.” They hadn’t really talked about it, but he knew this as well.

  She averted her gaze, but not before he saw the hurt and shame creep into her expression. “I miss him, too,” she confirmed.

  Remorse filled him. He’d put that expression there. She should never feel ashamed for her emotions.

  He thought back to the night before they’d returned from Karran. Mo’ata had found him in the corridor of the in, just outside their room. He’d gestured for Forrest to follow him, obviously not wanting Blue to hear whatever he had to say.

  They’d chosen a small table toward the back of the room. Some of the clansmen moved to join them, but Mo’ata must have given some kind of signal, because they all backed away.

  “Forrest,” Mo’ata had said. “I have something to ask of you. You will make a good protector for her. I know it. Please, though, do not stifle her. She…“ he’d trailed off, a curious mix of loss and determination in his expression. “She needs to be able to be herself. It will make it very hard for you. If—” Mo’ata had taken a breath. “If I could do it, I would.” He’d snorted. “Actually, Blue could use more than the usual number of protectors.”