“No, I don’t believe that.” She rolled her eyes before she could stop herself.
Melody ignored her and continued. “I do, because well, you are very spontaneous. You just do things, you know? You just rush in. A part of me, I guess,” she shrugged, “was kind of jealous about that. I never had the nerve to travel all around the world like you, or to let my heart lead me. You dated musicians, talented men with no money.”
Rhapsody gritted her teeth and turned away.
So help me God...
“I don’t mean it like that!” Melody smiled as Rhapsody shot her a glance. “It’s all coming out wrong... Look,” she slapped her thigh, “I mean, you dated from the heart. You didn’t look out for your future.”
This is the improved version of the last statement?
“Look, Melody. Here is a little something about me you don’t seem to understand. I make my own future. I accept my mistakes and the people that try to get one over are eliminated from my life, period. I wasn’t always this way. Let’s just tell the truth. You were right when you said I had my head in the clouds. Sometimes I did.”
“Well, that’s something we can agree on then.” Melody flaunted a condescending grin.
“I’ve grown up, I’ve changed. I used to allow people to stay in my life, people that misused and abused me but that is over,” Rhapsody continued, refusing to allow her sister to get her off track with her childish antics. “I know better, I can’t allow that to happen anymore. I have to learn from my past, from my mistakes. I’ve met some great people, I’ve met some not so great people, they all served their purpose. Life is to be lived...and that is what I do.”
They shared a moment of silence.
“Yes...life is to be lived, and I was planning to go to Paris with you, to try to reconnect with you, Rhapsody, not to get a free trip. That is why I kept calling, but as soon as I said that on the phone, you thought I was trying to get over. I didn’t know...I didn’t know you had honeymoon plans as well...”
Rhapsody looked at her for a moment, trying to put her sister’s words on a mental gauge of sincerity. She wasn’t sure which way they teetered; that would require further investigation. “At the time, we didn’t have honeymoon plans there. Dane hadn’t even proposed. Now, we will be spending an additional week there after the concert is over.”
“Dane...so I finally get a name.” Melody grinned and pointed at her sister, eyes squinting. “I knew you were dating someone all along! Mama held your little secret...you were just actin’ different. You smiled more...”
“Yes, his name is Dane, and he is my fiancé.” Rhapsody couldn’t help but smile as the words dripped out of her mouth.
And we have a wedding date. Do you?
But she kept the snide thought inside, instead, trying to be more open to the conversation. Trying not to let old habits rule her.
“Well, tell me about him, what does he do? What does he look like?”
“Before we get into all of that, Melody, I’d rather you finish telling me what you were going to initially...you know, about us and our relationship.” Rhapsody lounged back in the chair, holding her knee with folded hands as she glared at the woman dressed from head to toe in a Juicy pink jogging suit and little pink diamond stud earrings to match.
Melody sighed and looked at her sister for the longest, no words coming from her mouth.
“Is it really that hard, Melody? Well, I love you very much, okay? I don’t understand why we fight all the time, but I can say with one hundred percent certainty that, usually, it isn’t my fault on how the shit gets started.”
“Let’s not place blame here,” Melody interjected.
“Of course you’d say that, being the instigator nine times out of ten.” Rhapsody’s raised an eyebrow and shook her head in disbelief.
“Do you want to be right? Fine then, Rhapsody, okay.” Melody rolled her eyes.
“No, Melody,” she said, trying hard to keep her voice down so as not to wake their mother. “What I want is some damn acknowledgement! Some ownership!” She poked her knee with her index finger, driving the point home. “Whenever I have screwed up, and I knew about it or if I didn’t, but it was brought to my attention, I’d apologize. I cannot remember the last time you said some messed up shit to me, and owned it. I’m tired of it. I want my sister back but it is more important to me to be treated like a human being, than anything else. I won’t jump over and through hoops just to get along with you. I won’t walk on eggshells. I don’t bend over for anyone but I let you get away with far too much. I suppose I trained you on how to treat me! I am still going to be me, Melody.” She pointed to her chest. “You don’t understand how I think, or why I do the things that I do, and that’s fine. I’m not asking you to but I do expect for you to treat me how you’d want me to treat you!”
The anger, rage and sorrow merged into one, forming into a tight knot that caught in her throat. She tried to keep her bones from jumping in her flesh, to no avail. Her body shook like a vibrating volcano and her mouth brimmed full of lava covered words—hot, molten, ridden with anger. Words that could only bring tears.
“Rhapsody, I’m sorry if anything I’ve said has hurt your feelings.” Her sister’s voice broke through the pounding of her own heart. “I could sit here and lie, and say I never meant to hurt your feelings at any time, but we both know that isn’t true.”
“But why, Melody?!” her voice cracked as she tried to rein herself in. It hurt so badly. Rhapsody knew she was no angel, but when it came to her family, she tried to do right by them.
“I don’t know...” Melody looked away, averting eye contact.
“I don’t believe that.”
Melody shifted in her seat, as if ashamed.
“It’s Mama, okay?” Her sister glared back at her and for a split second, Rhapsody was certain her usually stony eyes had glossed over with fresh tears. Before she could confirm, she turned away, again, possibly composing herself, then glanced back her way. “You and Mom had music in common, your singing, the piano. The whole family would talk about you, how great and talented you were! No one said anything about me...” Melody looked down into her lap.
Rhapsody’s heart broke a million times over as she listened.
“I didn’t have any of that...Mama really loves you, Rhapsody. I’m not saying she doesn’t love me, too. I know she does...but...she enjoys her time with you. I know it sounds silly, I sound like a baby, but I can’t help how I feel. It has been going on most of our lives, and I resented you for it. It just got to the point that I couldn’t take it anymore. It felt like,” she shrugged, fidgeting, “it just felt like she favored you over me—like you two had a special bond that I could never touch. I felt like the odd man out. I had to do something to differentiate myself, and in the process, I ended up pushing my sister away.” Her bottom lip trembled as she looked down into her lap, scrubbing her palm with her thumb.
“But sometimes we’d get along fine, Melody. Hell, sometimes, it was like we were the best of buddies. This is confusing to me.”
“Because, Rhapsody, I’d try...I really would,” she said with a wounded expression. “And then I’d get upset again. Mama would be braggin’,” she waved her hand dramatically in the air, “‘Rhapsody got such ’nd such award, Rhapsody is performing at the playhouse, Rhapsody did this and that, she never talked about me that way...’”
They were silent for a moment, before Melody took a deep breath and continued.
“I know it sounds cliché, but it was me, not you. Yeah, we’re different, different as night and day, but I love you.” And there it was, a single tear escaped her sister’s eye. Before it had a moment to wet her perfectly made-up face, she swiped it away, as if it were an annoying gnat. “I love you, and I admire you. You have guts. I think you’re foolish sometimes, but shit, you’re brave, a hell of a lot braver than I am.” She chuckled. “And look at you...the man is marrying you, making it official. I’m still waiting. Everyone knows Adonis ain’t shit.”
Rhapsody smiled weakly and tried to form words and thoughts in the electric atmosphere. A breakthrough had been made; what she’d secretly prayed for had finally been granted.
“Melody, you, me, Grandmama may she rest in peace, and Mom, we’re all we had. We’re all we got! Wasn’t anybody else there. We lost our father. You remember him a bit better than I do...We shared clothes, toys and secrets that only sisters would understand. Looking at you was like looking in the mirror. I always wondered, ‘What did I do to her to make her hate me so much?’ And it haunted me. I mean this from the bottom of my heart. Whoever else came into my life and left, I didn’t lose sleep over, but you?” Tears brimmed in her eyes now, too. “You were right here, but so far away. I had wondered what I’d done to cause this. I’m glad to know now that it wasn’t something I wasn’t aware of...you’re just an asshole.”
They both looked at each other and burst out laughing.
Melody nodded in agreement. “Exactly,” she said, doubling over with mirth. “And I want to thank you for telling me that.”
“Sorry, but you know it’s true, I love you, nonetheless, and thank you for finally talking to me. I’m just glad this is out in the open now.”
“Well,” Melody said after a pause. “I really am sorry, and I want to start over, okay?” She slowly rose from her chair and walked toward her. Rhapsody looked up at her sister and extended her arms. The two hugged tightly, smiling brightly at each other like two best friends who hadn’t seen each other in years. “I love you, girl...”
“I love you too, Melody. So much...”She patted her back.
After a while, Melody returned to her seat and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.
“This doesn’t mean I won’t still go in on you.” She winked.
“Oh, I know, and it doesn’t mean you won’t get it right back.”
They both nodded and grinned.
“Now, tell me about Daaaaaaannnnne!” She batted her eyes teasingly.
“Melody, he is unbelievable!” Rhapsody fell back in her chair as if she were awe struck. “I love him so damn much. I don’t think I have ever been this in love with someone before.” Her heart made a flip at the thought of him.
“I can see it all over your face...you got it bad. Nose wide open,” Melody remarked, crossing her legs. “Okay, chop! Chop!” She clapped her hands. “Back to what I asked you before...what does he do? What does the damn man look like? Come on, give it to me.”
“Right now he is a Crisis Counselor and he is in a double program. He qualified for a program at the University. It is hard, but he is finishing his Masters and PhD simultaneously. He will be teaching at the university, hopefully, after he graduates.” She hesitated. “Before that, he was a priest.”
Melody’s face went from a full-out grin to a look of complete confusion.
“What the hell did you just say? The last part...” She twirled her finger her way, as if rotating an invisible bracelet.
“Yes, you heard me right.” Rhapsody looked down in her lap, laughing, as she toiled with a loose strand from her light gray knitted shirt. “He was a priest for about eight years.”
“Oh my God,” Melody said, her mouth agape—this from the kind of woman who scoops up gossip in a single bound. “So, the first thing he does is he goes and finds him a girlfriend after leaving. This is too funny!” She cackled. “Shit, if I were a priest or nun, I’d do the same damn thing...”
“Uh, actually, no. He was still a priest when I met him... Well, got reacquainted with him. He actually went to high school with us but he and I never spoke. That school was so big, you may not even remember.”
The silence in the room was deafening. Rhapsody was about to ask Melody if she needed help picking up her jaw from the floor.
“Only you, Rhapsody!” she finally said as she fell back laughing, her arm hanging lazily off the side of her chair. She laughed so hard, a vein protruded in the side of her neck. “Only you! You have brought a priest down, single-handedly tore the Catholic Church up! Shame on ya!” she teased, her face turning red.
“I promise you it wasn’t like that,” Rhapsody protested, trying to stay serious.
Rhapsody went on to tell their love story, in full, giddy detail—from the very beginning. It felt so good to get it all out, to air the dirty laundry that really wasn’t as soiled as it appeared. By then, both sisters were huddled on the floor next to one another, the television off and their shoulders pressed together—accomplices, confidantes, just like old times. In that moment, they truly looked like sisters, like best friends, their arms intertwined, they eyes reflecting one another—mirror images. Mending and healing had begun, as well as enjoying one another—going back to the basics.
The icing on the cake was the squeaking of their mother’s bedroom door right before it closed, and Rhapsody realized the woman had heard the entire exchange. And the sight had probably been just as uplifting to her, more than for them—to see the two of them together, sharing this healing moment in time...
~***~
“Raise your glasses! My brother, the priest, is gettin’ married!” Anthony joked, his face twisted into a sarcastic grin, causing all of their friends and family in the house to burst out in laughter. Even their beaming mother turned red and looked down at the recently shampooed butter cream carpet. She’d gotten the house together for the special occasion, taking two weeks to scrub from top to bottom and decorate it just right.
Dane raised his glass of iced sparkling water with a thick slice of lemon inside, while Rhapsody wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her smile into his brown leather bomber jacket.
“And this is the part where Dane’s big obnoxious Italian family embarrasses him, in stereotypical fashion!” Joseph, who’d drunk one too many, slurred.
His declaration brought on applause and a wide smile from Rhapsody’s mother who sat in a grand chair at the head of dining room table in the Caruso home. Dane’s mother had insisted she sit there. It was not an option. It had been predetermined.
Dane carefully placed his glass on the table and wrapped his arms around his fiancée while people continued to laugh, joke and engage one another. He delicately caressed her hands, slowly running his fingers up and down their length. Every now and again, he’d catch a glimpse of Daisy, who loitered by the dining room bay window, smiling, but seemingly lost in thought. Her missing husband and children were not unnoticed. It was rare for her to come out without her family, and he could see that something was heavy on the young woman’s mind. He’d asked her twice if she was okay and she forced a grin and a nod, telling him she was perfectly fine and simply there to congratulate him on his pending nuptials. He turned back to Joseph, who was now relaying an embarrassing story that he’d begged him not to share.
“And then…” Joseph’s eyes narrowed in his beet red face, and the prominent vein in the middle of his forehead strained under the skin. “And then Dane told Mom that he didn’t put the pile of steaming crap on the neighbor’s steps, that I did it.”
“What a crock of shit!” someone screamed, causing loud guffaws.
“And where did he get the crap from? Huh? We didn’t have a dog then!” More laughter erupted.
“Dane, you didn’t!” Rhapsody laughed as she peeked over his arm. He looked away in shame for he knew, since the incident, that that the story would haunt him for the rest of his life.
“Can you remember Mom’s face, Anthony? She was mortified!”
Dane stood a bit taller, grinning. “That kid shouldn’t have stolen my football!” He felt Rhapsody shaking with laughter behind him.
“He was grounded for an entire week. Anthony and I taunted him, telling him what a great time we were having outside playing and all the cool desserts we got after dinner.” Joseph counted off his fingers, “Strawberry cookies, chocolate cake, lemon meringue pie...yeah, with the fluffy, home-made whipped cream and Dane’s favorite...”
“Pineapple cheesecake, you bastards!” Dane yelled
in mock anger. “Joseph kept coming to my door, saying in a creepy voice, ‘Weeeeee gooooot cheeeeesecake, booboo boy!’”
The room exploded in more laughter; this time Rhapsody’s mother giggled so hard, she had to grab her glass of water from the table for relief.
After a while, the crowd simmered and returned to more mundane conversation as they moseyed around the first floor, drifting in front of the television set to a low volume, as people continued to drink cold beers and offer more congratulations.
Rhapsody left Dane’s side when her sister bustled through the door with a shiny yellow gift bag and her new bright green Coach purse on her arm.
“I’m so sorry, everyone! I got caught up at work!” she announced, as if everyone had been stewing over her absence.
Dane immediately turned his attention away from his father and walked swiftly over to his soon-to-be sister in law. Rhapsody took the heavy bag from Melody’s arm, and watched her sister flirt shamelessly. Melody gripped his arm and cocked her head, allowing her freshly relaxed, shoulder length tresses to sweep her shoulders. With a broad smile, she flashed her pretty white teeth as she gave him the once over.
“So I finally meet Dane!” She gave him a big hug, then stood back, holding him by the wrists as she gleamed up at him, all gums showing.
Rhapsody put her hand on her hip and smirked after clearing her throat. Melody shot her a look, winked, and continued on as if her performance was stellar.
“It’s nice to meet you...” she said, her voice airy and extra feminine. A total put on.
“It is a pleasure to meet you as well.” Dane smiled at her sincerely. He looked from one to the other. “You two look just alike.” He shook Melody’s hand. Rhapsody caught how he kept trying to politely break free from her grip. Finally, Melody let go, briskly grabbed Rhapsody’s arm and scurried her away, toward the steps...
~***~
Dane grinned, wondering how two people could look so alike yet be so different. Yet, he was happy they had reconciled, and that the two shared a much better relationship. Left alone, he looked back into the dining room, searching for his father. He moved through the crowd of people, and finally spotted the old man speaking with his cousin, both holding cold bottles of beer. Close by, his mother was busy clearing the table to set out an assortment of desserts, mints and coffee.
Forgive Me Father For I Have Loved Page 29