The Perfect Escape

by Claudia Carroll

  There were gasps from around the table as they stared at her in disbelief, shock written across their faces.

  ‘B … But that’s … porn,’ Sue burst out, whispering the word under her breath.

  ‘Erotica, I’d say,’ Estelle replied thoughtfully. ‘Although it’s a very fine distinction – something we could discuss at the next meeting, perhaps?’

  ‘Well I’ve heard that it’s deeply misogynistic,’ Gracie began furiously. ‘And that it sets feminism back fifty years.’

  ‘You could always read it and make up your own mind,’ Estelle couldn’t resist saying, her eyes sparkling mischievously. ‘I’d love to hear your opinions next time.’

  ‘I wouldn’t mind seeing what all the fuss is about, actually,’ Rebecca admitted shyly.

  Estelle smiled at her, grateful for her support. ‘Thank you, Rebecca. Reggie?’

  Reggie said nothing, his cheeks crimson as he stared at the ground like he wanted it to swallow him up.

  ‘Good, then that’s settled,’ Estelle said firmly, feeling a remarkable sense of calm now that she’d taken control and made her decision. ‘The next read for the Cafe Crumb book club will be Ten Sweet Lessons by CJ Jones. The meeting will be held two weeks today, and I look forward to seeing you all back here to find out exactly what you thought of it.’

  A quaint suburb.

  A quiet little book group.

  A very naughty reading list.

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  THE NAUGHTY GIRLS BOOK CLUB: 9780007514939

  The Psychic

  Laura Ziepe

  As Gina Harrington sat waiting nervously, she couldn’t believe what she was about to do. She was a busy woman with a million things to be getting on with and this was completely wasting precious time. How she had ever been talked into this, she would never know. It wasn’t even as though she believed in psychics. Yet somehow, here she was, in a lady called Iris’s front room, surrounded by candles and a million creepy knick-knacks on every surface. She hated to look down her nose at people, but the house was incredibly dirty in her opinion. Did Iris ever clean? she wondered, as she wiped her trousers, as if to remove the imaginary dust gathering on them. She turned her nose up at the pile of clothes in the corner and the dusty surfaces. What she would do to give this place a thorough clean from top to bottom. The house was full of junk and even the sofa she was sitting on was threadbare she realised in distaste.

  ‘Would you like a drink, dear?’ Iris called from the kitchen.

  Gina couldn’t think of anything worse. She’d felt nauseous all day and the thought of accepting anything from someone who lived in a house this shabby filled her with disgust.

  ‘No thank you, Iris. I’m fine. I really don’t have too long, I have so much to be getting on with,’ she called out. Gina wanted this over as quickly as possible. She had washing and ironing to do, clients to email, cases to go over, the list was endless. She wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for her secretary, Anna, who practically forced her to book a visit as her birthday present. Gina found it bizarre that Anna had even bought her a card, let alone a present, as for starters, their relationship was strictly professional; Gina didn’t believe in making friends with work colleagues, especially those that worked for her. Secondly, Gina had no idea how Anna even knew it was her birthday when she’d given her the card, as Gina never announced it at work, buying cakes and biscuits like most of the other lawyers. Gina didn’t want reminding that she was another year older; she’d stopped celebrating after she’d turned thirty, two years ago and Anna had only been at their law firm for a year. Gina didn’t have the faintest idea when Anna’s birthday was and though she seemed like a lovely girl, she intended to keep it that way. Anna was there to do her job and the last thing Gina wanted was for her to start chatting about her weekend plans or what she’d had for lunch. It wasn’t that Gina was a cold, unfriendly person, she told herself, it was just that she needed her colleagues to respect her and treat her as the professional that she was. Gina had far more important things to be thinking about than her colleagues’ social lives and she didn’t even have time to talk to her husband, Neil, most days. She was always busy. Gina had worked all the hours under the sun to become a banking lawyer; she was extremely hard-working, determined and successful and earning more money than she even had time to spend. Gina recalled when Anna had given her the birthday gift the week before. She had timidly knocked on Gina’s office door with a card in her hand and a smile on her face.

  ‘Oh,’ Gina had said in surprise as Anna had placed it on her desk. She had looked up at Anna with a tight smile, hoping she would just leave the card so she could get back to her work.

  ‘Happy Birthday,’ Anna had said warmly, waiting for Gina to open it, much to her irritation.

  ‘Well thank you, Anna,’ Gina had said slowly, shifting in her chair as she picked up the card with a fake smile and opened it. ‘You really shouldn’t have.’

  It was a pretty card with pink glitter that went everywhere. Completely inappropriate for a lawyer who had a meeting with a very important client in less than an hour, Gina had thought sourly. Gina read the message inside about Anna’s treat for her to see a psychic and really hoped that she had been joking. But when she’d looked up at Anna’s hopeful face, she knew that for once, she couldn’t be rude.

  ‘A psychic? How fun,’ Gina had said with a false merry tone, forcing her mouth to curve upwards.

  ‘She’s meant to be really good,’ Anna had explained enthusiastically, her eyes sparkling with excitement. ‘I’ve heard so many good things about Iris and I had no idea what to get you for your birthday.’

  ‘Thanks so much Anna,’ Gina replied, discomfited. It was sweet that Anna had thought about her birthday but Gina was puzzled as to why she’d chosen such an odd gift. ‘I’ll book to see Iris as soon as I get the time,’ she’d said breezily, swiftly turning her head back to her computer screen.

  ‘Well that’s just it, you see,’ Anna had replied hesitantly, her mouth twitching awkwardly. ‘You need to book today as I know she’s had a cancellation for next week. Otherwise there’s a long waiting list. I think it took my friend eight months until she got an appointment with her. It’s best to call her today.’

  Gina sighed, her eyes flicking back to Anna impatiently. Seeing a psychic was literally the last thing she wanted to do. It was the last thing she had time to do.

  ‘Maybe you could take my appointment, Anna? It’s just that I’m extremely busy. I work incredibly late most nights, you know that.’

  ‘But it’s a gift, it’s all been paid for,’ Anna protested, looking affronted that it was being given back. Her face fell. ‘But that’s fine, I understand …’

  Gina exhaled sharply. Anna was a great secretary and a very hard worker and she was right, it was a gift. Maybe she should just book an appointment and then cancel last minute without her ever knowing.

  ‘Very well,’ she said, dialling the number on the card.

  Iris had answered and scheduled her in straight away for the following week. Then Gina had stupidly forgotten to cancel and Iris had called her to confirm the appointment thirty minutes before she was due. Gina had left work early for once and couldn’t think of an excuse quickly enough, so had reluctantly agreed that yes, she was still attending.

  Luckily, Iris only lived a ten minute drive away, so hopefully the session would be over soon and Gina could get back home quickly, she thought, looking around the room and frowning in disgust when a smelly Jack Russell came panting through the door.

  ‘Rolo!’ Iris called. The dog bounded outside and a few seconds later, Iris entered the room. ‘I don’t like Rolo in here when I do my readings,’ she smiled gaily at Gina.

  I don’t like Rolo full stop, Gina thought, relieved that he was taking his pongy dog smell with him as he exited the room. She was dreading this; psychics and mediums were con artists in her opinion, taking people’s hard-earned money by chanting a load
of garbage that they made up then and there on the spot. There was no way that people could see into the future or contact the dead; it was absolute lunacy that anyone would ever fall for it.

  Iris sat down in front of Gina on another tattered sofa, which Gina noticed didn’t even match the floral one she was sitting on.

  ‘I don’t care too much for matching furniture,’ Iris said, squinting her grey eyes as though reading Gina’s mind.

  Gina stared at Iris in silence, dumbfounded. ‘Do you know how long this will take?’ she asked finally, glimpsing at her new rose-gold Cartier watch. Iris was giving her the creeps already. It was quite obvious that Iris didn’t care too much for matching furniture. It appeared she didn’t care too much about any of her furniture.

  ‘Have you ever been to a psychic before?’ Iris asked raising her eyebrows and ignoring the question.

  Gina shook her head. ‘No.’

  Iris nodded as though it was the answer she expected to hear. ‘Let me explain a little bit about what I do. From a very young age I was able to communicate with those in spirit form. I’ll be able to look into your past, present and future,’ Iris explained seriously in a poised manner.

  Gina gave a little laugh. ‘So basically, a bit like the ghosts in the film Scrooge?’ She looked up at Iris, expecting to hear her join in the laughter, but she was gaping at her intently. Gina paused. ‘Or maybe not then,’ she added, feeling foolish.

  ‘Being psychic is a gift,’ Iris continued firmly, ‘and what I’m going to do is write down everything that comes to me during your reading. Then anything you’re unsure about, you can ask your friends and family afterwards. Understood?’

  Gina bit the flesh of her lower lip and nodded, wishing she’d never come. She felt as though she was being scolded by a headmistress at school! Honestly, why was Iris taking this so seriously? It was absurd.

  ‘Okay,’ Iris said, walking over to a table with two chairs by the window in the corner of the room. ‘Come sit and we’ll start.’

  Gina did as she was told. Did I email John Stewart back about the latest Barclays case? Did I remind Anna to fax Marie Hogg for me? Thoughts of work flooded her mind and as Gina looked at Iris she was shaking her head. What’s wrong now? Gina wondered.

  ‘This just isn’t going to do, Gina,’ Iris told her stonily with a disapproving look.

  ‘Sorry?’ Gina was confused. She’d followed her and sat at the table like she was supposed to, hadn’t she?

  ‘You need to switch off. Leave work behind. That’s a big problem you have, isn’t it? You take work home with you,’ she told her accusingly.

  Gina started to object, but closed her mouth quickly. ‘Sometimes, maybe yes,’ she replied resentfully, folding her arms protectively across her chest. So what if Iris got one thing correct? It was obvious Gina had a serious job because of her smart designer suit and who didn’t take their work home with them when they had an important job? ‘I’ve worked extremely hard to be where I am today. I can’t just switch off,’ Gina rebuked in indignation.

  ‘I thought as much,’ Iris said knowingly, jotting something down complacently.

  Gina tried to peer at what she was writing, but Iris pulled the notepad away further, making her flinch.

  ‘I have your mother’s mum here,’ Iris said suddenly, closing her eyes.

  Oh please, Gina thought unimpressed. She was thirty-two, so it was highly likely that her nan had passed away. Lucky guess.

  ‘Tell her I said hi,’ Gina replied tartly with a smirk.

  Iris ignored Gina’s caustic remark and continued in a soft voice. ‘She was a lovely lady, very soft and gentle and she was sorry she had to leave. It was her heart that packed up in the end,’ she said, watching Gina avidly.

  She’s trying to watch how I react to see if she’s on the right lines, Gina thought, glancing out of the window trying not to give anything away. Her nan had died in her sleep and Iris was right, it had been a heart attack. Still, how many old people died of a heart attack for crying out loud?

  ‘She loved her gardening,’ Iris added.

  Well, that was true …

  ‘She was re-united with your grandfather. Will, was it?’ Iris ventured.

  Ha! Wrong! Gina cleared her throat. ‘No, actually, it was Bill,’ she declared triumphantly. Then again, was his real name William, she wondered, racking her brains.

  Iris half smiled. ‘They’re both telling me you work far too hard, just as I thought,’ she said, eyeing Gina suspiciously and jotting something else down on the notepad.

  ‘Yes, well, someone needs to pay the mortgage,’ Gina retorted sharply. Of course, she made more than enough money to pay the mortgage. She was also able to treat herself to nice designer bags and shoes when the fancy took her. But what was so wrong with that?

  ‘They tell me you’ve changed,’ Iris looked up questioningly.

  ‘The last time I saw them I was fifteen,’ Gina said grumpily, rolling her eyes. ‘Of course I’ve changed. I’ve grown up.’

  Iris shook her head. ‘No, not just in the way you look,’ she said certainly. ‘Your personality. Your nan is saying that you’re now rather snooty and you shouldn’t forget where you came from.’

  Gina opened her mouth in exasperation. Snooty? She was not snooty! Yes, she liked the fine things in life and no longer shopped in cheap high street stores like Zara and Mango, but she could afford the luxury designers in Harrods and Selfridges now; you couldn’t get any better than that. ‘That’s not true,’ Gina challenged, unable to hide the shock in her voice. The memory of her cousin, Carl’s wedding popped into Gina’s mind at that moment. It had been in Florence and Gina’s parents had been looking forward to it all year. They’d saved enough money for some cheap Ryanair flights and a budget hotel and had offered to book Gina and Neil’s flight and accommodation for them.

  ‘It will be nice to all stay in the same hotel love, won’t it?’ Her mum had told her over the phone.

  ‘Yes, maybe,’ Gina had mumbled, wanting to inspect where her parents were staying before she committed to anything.

  Gina had then googled the hotel her family had booked and reeled in horror. There was no way on earth she was staying in such a rotten, cheap place. Neil had thought it was fine, but then Neil was happy with anything. Gina had insisted she book her own flights due to her work schedule clashing with the times and she then proceeded to book business class flights and a five star hotel with a beautiful spa and gym. She remembered how astonished her family were when they came to her hotel one night for some pre-dinner drinks.

  ‘Wow,’ her dad had said looking around the huge, stunning reception, ‘this place is absolutely amazing. Must have cost you an arm and leg.’

  There was nothing wrong with doing well in life though, was there? Gina thought, as she gazed at Iris who was writing. It wasn’t her fault she’d made something of herself and they hadn’t.

  ‘They’re proud you’ve done so well, Gina, they always knew you were an intelligent girl, but don’t forget about the rest of your family. They tell me you don’t see them much anymore?’ Iris looked up from the notepad, her bright grey eyes full of concern.

  ‘I don’t have time,’ Gina told her, frowning. ‘I’m busy with work. I have so much going on in my life. I moved away to Surrey whereas they live in Essex. It’s not as easy to just pop over there when I want to.’

  Gina thought about her parents living in their small council house in Rainham and realised she hadn’t seen them in well over two months. If she was honest, she always felt ashamed when she went there. They were content with scraping by in life, living in a cramped three bedroom house and never striving for anything better. Gina had always known that she wanted more for herself. She had no idea where she got her brains from as her mum had worked in the local bakery and her dad was a dustman, something that had always embarrassed Gina immensely. Gina’s sister, Melanie, was no better in her opinion, working as a sales assistant in Debenhams and still living at home despite the f
act she’d turned twenty-six last month. Gina had tried to help get her a ‘decent’ job, which paid more than six fifty an hour, but Melanie had told her she was happy where she was. Gina hardly saw Melanie either nowadays as she could never afford to go out, especially to the classy restaurants and bars Gina frequented weekly. The last time Melanie had invited Gina out she invited her on a night out in a Wetherspoons’ pub. Gina had immediately made up an excuse as to why she couldn’t make it; she would not be seen dead in a grimy Wetherspoons!

  ‘You only have one family and your grandparents think you should make more of an effort. If you don’t mind me asking,’ Iris said, ‘what is it you actually do?’

  ‘I thought you were a psychic?’ Gina answered sharply. She knew this woman was making it all up. She’d had a few guesses and now she was clearly stuck and needed Gina to guide her.

  ‘Well, I was going to say a solicitor or a barrister, but I can also see you as a florist,’ Iris declared seriously, resting her chin on the palm of her hand and staring at Gina intensely.

  Gina started to giggle at the thought of her being a florist. She was a busy, successful lawyer, who was in high demand; how on earth had Iris come up with two jobs so completely different? ‘I’m a banking lawyer,’ Gina told her after she’d stopped giggling. This was utterly ridiculous.

  ‘Is anyone in your family a florist? I have a strong sense of flowers surrounding you,’ Iris explained.

  Gina thought for a moment. ‘No, there is absolutely no one I can think of who is a florist.’

  Iris looked unsatisfied, but changed the subject and wrote something down. ‘You had to do a lot of studying before you got where you are today, am I right?’

  Talk about stating the obvious. You don’t just leave school and become a lawyer! She’s getting worse, Gina thought irritably.

  ‘Yes I had to study hard of course,’ she replied brightly, proud of herself. I did three years at uni, one year at law school and two years training at a law firm.’