by Brenna Darcy
Cooked chicken and fresh salad was always available at the supermarket, along with Ty’s favourite, sparkling apple juice. Browsing the shelves to pass the time, Flic found a bowl suitable for serving salad in, and a pirate colouring book she thought Ty might like. She imagined he’d get pretty bored cooped up in the hotel room whilst she and Lacey chatted. Adding the bowl, book and a large packet of coloured pencils to her basket, Flic paid for the items and left.
Preparing the salad, she put it along with the quiche and apple juice into the small bar fridge. There wasn’t room for the cake, but as it didn’t contain cream she figured it’d be fine left on the bench. The room was cool with the air conditioner on.
She thought about going for a walk to the river, but, exhausted, she decided to relax and stretched out on the comfortable bed.
She had no intention of falling asleep, but the knock at the door woke her. Confused by the familiar yet unexpected surroundings, Flic sat a moment to get her bearings before getting up. Her eyes flashed to the alarm clock, she’d lost two hours when the idea had been to rest for a few minutes. Not that she had anything better to do, and it stopped her from dwelling on her disagreement with Dave, which wasn’t altogether a bad thing.
Being woken by dinner guests wasn’t the way she liked to prepare for company. Straightening her clothes, she went to the door to invite Lacey and Ty in.
Surprised to see it wasn’t Lacey, but Jo from the florist, holding a spectacular display of red roses in a vase and a large box of chocolates. Flic was almost too embarrassed to except them, and immediately suspected they were from Dave.
He frustrated her. Now she’d have to phone to thank him, even though she wasn’t ready to speak to him so soon.
She’d been foolish to let her guard down and allowed him to get close, by sharing her private life with him only to have it thrown in her face every chance he got. She’d been careless to trust the first man who breezed into her life. She’d vowed not to get involved with anyone, knowing it was to soon.
Her thoughts were no longer her own. The moments they shared together overcrowded the space she reserved for Ellie’s memory. She resented the fact that he consumed so much of her that Ellie was being pushed to the side as though she wasn’t the most important person in Flic’s life anymore. Flic slumped in a chair at the dining room table. She’d come so far, but she was still not willing to truly admit that Ellie would never be in her life again. The only place she still lived was in her memory and Flic didn’t want those precious years to be pushed out and lost forever.
Setting the flowers and chocolates on the table Flic read the card as she walked back to close the door.
You’re always hurting, now more than ever because of me, for which I’m sorry. Dave x
Okay, so he’d figured out what she was talking about, and sent her chocolates and flowers. Now what was she supposed to do about it?
The knock at the door startled her even though she’d been expecting Lacey and Ty to arrive at any moment.
Flic wanted to hide the flowers, deny Dave had ever sent them, but, the truth be known, Lacey probably instigated the gift in the first place.
Chapter Nineteen
PUTTING THE KETTLE on to heat and offering drinks, Flic was happy for the company, a welcomed distraction from the destructive thoughts about her and Dave’s relationship. The flowers had momentarily unsettled her, knowing they were something she was going to have to deal with eventually, but for now she had guests, a valid excuse to stall. Lacey bought over a teapot as promised, and Flic made her a cup. She opted for the sparkling apple juice the same as Ty.
“I saw this at the shop today and remembered you wanted to be a pirate.” Flic retrieved the colouring book and pencils from the table where she’d left them. “You’re welcome to sit on my bed if you’d like to use them, or if you’re more comfortable at the table, that’s fine too.”
“Oh cool, Mum this is the one I saw the other day, thanks Flic.” Ty beamed up at her, wrapping his little arms around her waist he squeezed tight. Heading for the bed, he sprawled out and set about looking through the book.
Lacey smiled, watching her son. “Thanks Flic, it means a lot to me knowing you think about him and are so kind. He adores you, you know.” Her eyes glistened with tears that didn’t form.
“He’s pretty special to me too. I never thought I’d be able to love a child as I did Ellie, I figured it’d make me love her less. Ty taught me that isn’t true.” Flic smiled back. Not wanting the evening to turn emotional she quickly changed the subject. “So you said you needed to talk to me.”
“Ah-huh, I had my lawyer send over the paperwork we need for the shop transfer. He’s aware of what I intend to offer, and has been working on it for a few weeks. I wanted to make sure everything was sorted in case I wasn’t in a fit state to discuss it, as we are now.” Lacey paused to take a sip of her tea. “He’s made it very easy, all we need to do is read through the contract and, if you’re happy with everything, sign on the dotted line.”
“Too easy, did you bring the paperwork?”
“Yes, I thought I’d leave it with you, no rush, I’ve already signed it so you can take your time. My accountant has included details about the transfer of name on the bank account as well.”
“I don’t know what to say, it’s over generous and I feel guilty accepting.” Flic sighed. “You barely know me.”
“Knowing you longer would only enhance my reason for offering it to you. You’re the closest friend I’ve had and you make my boys happy, so what better reason do I need than that.” Lacey sipped her tea and smiled at Flic over the rim of her cup.
“Well the last part is debatable, I’m sure.”
They didn’t continue the conversation about the shop handover. Flic figured it best not to say too much in front of Ty, as hearing details may be upsetting and a little confusing for him. Instead they discussed the many suppliers, popular products for the different age groups, and even the cleaning requirements of the waterfall.
Dinner was satisfying, and light. Ty’s eyes nearly bulged with delight when he saw the chocolate cake for dessert. He wore more on his face than he consumed, keeping them entertained as he devoured his piece. Grinning he exposed chocolate teeth, Flic and Lacey squealed in disgust, like little girls. Ty laughed.
“I think you need cleaning up, Tyler Raddin, you look like a chocolate coated pirate with teeth as disgusting as that.” Lacey stood up. “May we use the bathroom, please?”
“Of course, clean face washers are in the cupboard under the sink.” Flic tidied up the table and stacked the plates on the bench by the sink. She’d make a thorough job of it after Lacey and Ty left. Wide awake and in no mood to write, especially when Dave was as prominent on the page as he was in her life, she’d have plenty of time to spare.
All cleaned up, Ty settled back on her bed to continue his colouring and Flic made a pot of chamomile tea she knew Lacey enjoyed following her dinner.
“Those flowers are beautiful,” Lacey said, opening the conversation to focus on Dave.
“Hmm.” Flic didn’t know what to say, she didn’t want to drag him into their evening. She already felt guilty for not wanting to phone and thank him for his gift. What was she supposed to say, thanks for the flowers. Then what, just hang up?
“He knows he’s done wrong, Flic. I’m not excusing his behaviour, and actually I ripped into him after you left.”
Flic glanced sideways through her frown.
“Oh, don’t worry I was only as harsh as a sister can be.” Her smile so angelic, no one would believe she could get angry at anyone. “His attitude has changed a lot, he didn’t understand before.”
“And now he does?” Flic was doubtful.
“Not completely. He doesn’t profess to know what you’ve been through, but he understands it a little more now. The thing is Flic, he is new to the whole relationship thing. He doesn’t allow anyone to get so close, I’m sure you’ve figured that out.” Lacey drew in
a deep breath before continuing. “And I know the thought of what he’ll be facing in the not too distant future scares him senseless.”
“He said as much, but I don’t know how to help him.”
“Give him a chance to make it up to you and see how it goes. I’m not suggesting you forgive him, or make it easy on him, because he needs to learn his lesson, but remember he’s not a bad person and he really likes you.”
“I know he’s not. He fascinates me, which probably sounds a little insulting, as though he’s a specimen in a jar, but it’s the truth, and he has since the moment I arrived. He was so grumpy and unapproachable, still is at times. I guess I wanted to be the one to crack him.” Flic shrugged. “I wanted to make him smile, that’s all.”
“You do, I haven’t seen him as happy since—well I don’t know when.”
Flic was quiet a moment. “I’ll give him a call to thank him for the flowers a little later tonight.”
“That’d be nice. I think he went to Mim’s for dinner, and sometimes, when he gets in one of his moods he’ll end up at the pub until late with Tim.”
So this is how Tim knew Dave was a nice guy.
Lacey and Ty stayed for another cup of tea and then left. Ty was getting sleepy and Lacey didn’t have the strength to carry him should he fall asleep in the car on the way home. He was growing up so fast and yet not fast enough. She knew Lacey didn’t want to miss out on being part of his life, and said she hoped Flic would take on some of the motherly role for him.
“You’re like hope to me, knowing a strong caring young woman will be a part of Ty’s life. You’ve provided more peace of mind for me than you realise, I don’t want you to feel pressured, I’m just grateful.”
Flic didn’t feel pressured, but honoured by Lacey’s faith in her.
After Lacey and Ty left, Flic tried to phone Dave, but there was no answer at home. Tempted to leave a voice message, but she thought it more polite to speak to him than to his machine, so decided to call his mobile.
He picked up, as Flic was about to hang up.
“Hello,” he yelled.
Flic held the phone away from her ear, there was a lot of background noise. Lacey was right about him going to the pub, the only rational explanation for the racket blasting her eardrum. “Hi Dave, it’s Flic.”
“Who?”
“Flic.” It didn’t help her confidence any to think he might have been expecting someone else.
“Flic?” He was still yelling. “Hold on, I’ll find somewhere quieter.”
When the noise had lessoned he was back. “Sorry, it’s busy in there tonight.”
She couldn’t image Dave hanging out at the pub. He seemed too antisocial for such a casual environment. “I won’t hold you up, I only wanted to thank you for the flowers and the chocolates, so thanks.”
“Hey yeah, no problem.”
The silence on the phone was louder than where he’d been before.
“Well, I should let you get back to your friends.”
Dave laughed. “Tim left with some woman he just met and I was going to call it a night. Can I call in on my way home?”
Flic didn’t want to be rude, but having him come to the hotel was the last thing she wanted. How could she tell him that?
“Do you think that’s a good idea?”
“I won’t stay long, I promise.”
Flic sighed, “Okay, I suppose so.” She now wished she’d left a voice message. She’d endured enough drama for one day. Having a quick shower, after hanging the phone up, Flic slipped into a comfortable, long blue maxi dress.
She switched the kettle on to heat again. Then, for wanting something to do whilst she waited, Flic washed and dried the dinner dishes.
Taking longer to arrive than expected, washing up done, she straightened the bed cover then sat on the small couch. Picking up her writing book from the coffee table, she started to leaf through it. She hadn’t written much lately, except Dave’s name, which appeared more often than not, scrawled anywhere from the centre of her page, to the corner, or in the margin, always surrounded with a doodle art image to enhance it. Deciding she was more of a time waster than a writer, she sighed, closing the book. She loved to write but knew she’d never be successful as Dave. It didn’t bother her, as a huge fan before meeting him, she’d only ever dreamed of writing as well as he did. Instead of feeling inspired after their introduction, she realised it wasn’t the most important thing to her anymore.
He’d be a fabulous mentor if she ever got passed her embarrassment enough to let him read her work. Although she didn’t write crime fiction, with his experience she didn’t think genre would hinder his ability to teach.
The gentle knock at the door sent the flurry of butterflies already loose in her stomach into a frenzy. Maybe she should pretend like she was asleep. That would make her the coward he had accused her of being earlier, and she was no coward.
Walking to the door, she opened it, as he was about to knock again.
“Hi,” she said, holding the door open for him.
Once inside he pulled her close and tried to kiss her. She could smell alcohol on his breath and wondered how much he’d had to drink. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.
“Please don’t, I didn’t agree to you coming here for that.” Backing away from him, she silently reminded herself he was like quick sand to her, and she had no interest in sinking any deeper than she already had.
“So tell me, why did you agree? Because you thought it’d be rude to say no to me?”
Flic remained silent. This was not going well at all.
“What do you want me to do Flic, get on my knees and beg your forgiveness because if that’s what it takes I’ll do it?”
“Okay.” Flic couldn’t resist teasing. He’d walked right into that one.
“Really, you want me to beg?”
“Oh for Christ sake Dave, what do you think?”
“This is pathetic.” Dave began to pace the room, running his fingers through his hair, as he did when he was frustrated. “Okay fine.” Stalking over to her he dropped to his knees in front of her.
Flic shook her head. “How much have you had to drink? As if I’d ask you to beg, and on your knees of all things, that’s insulting.” What sort of twisted monster did he take her for, as if she’d seriously expect that of him?
“Well, what else can I do to make you believe I’m sorry?”
“You can get up for starters, and then just give me time, Dave. I know you’re sorry but you hurt me. I’m not perfect. I don’t deal with everything the best way either, but I shouldn’t be made to feel like grieving my daughter and wanting to make it easier on myself by changing location is the cowardly way out.”
“It’s not, and I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No you shouldn’t, but you did.”
Dave hung his head, he couldn’t argue with her and she knew it. “I’ll go then.”
“You don’t want tea?”
Dave shook his head.
“Oh.” Flic didn’t try to hide her disappointment, and Dave didn’t seem to miss it either.
“The thing is, it’s so difficult being around you, Flic.”
“Well you’re not the most sociable guy in town either,” she snapped.
“Thanks for that, but I was referring to the fact I miss having you at home and it’s been less than twelve hours since you left. Being this close to you and not able to touch is like a child in a toyshop not being allowed to play. So, I think it best if I go and maybe if you forgive me, we can pick up from there.”
“It’s not as easy as that, and it has nothing to do with forgiving anyone. I’m hurting and you come here wanting sex.”
“Not at all, I just wanted to give you a hug and a kiss.”
Flic was always so quick to judge him and make assumptions about his intentions. As usual she was wrong.
“I don’t like being responsible for causing you hurt. I want to try to make up for it, but you won’t let me.
”
“There’s no cure Dave, it won’t ever go away.”
“I get that. I just hoped I could help by being the reason you looked forward to getting up each morning, as you are mine.”
Flic couldn’t stand it any longer, she walked over and stood so close she was almost touching him. “Do you want to try that again?”
After a moment hesitation Dave closed the distance, taking her in his arms. He didn’t try to kiss her this time. Flic wasn’t sure if she was relieved, or not. She knew she should cut him some slack. He was holding up pretty well considering Lacey’s condition was deteriorating so rapidly, even if she was putting on a good show for everyone. If Flic had noticed, then she didn’t doubt Dave had also.
It felt so good to have his arms around her, to press herself against his warm strong body and let herself believe she was safe. But was she really?
The easiest solution should’ve been to keep a distance, but staying away from him proved more challenging. He already meant so much to her and she didn’t want to lose him too.
“Do you want me to go, are you tired?”
Flic nodded, she was exhausted, and all she wanted to do was crawl back to bed and sleep.
Giving a tight squeeze before releasing her, Flic didn’t let go.
“You’ve got to let go if I’m to leave, that’s unless you’ve changed your mind and are coming back to my house.”
“How about you stay here?”
“Really?”
Flic nodded. “I’d like that.” Quick sand, undoubtedly, and she was sinking fast.
Moving closer to the bed Flic pulled Dave’s t-shirt over his head before removing her dress. She stood before him in her underwear. After the previous night, it wasn’t as though he was seeing anything he hadn’t already. Stepping back she undid Dave’s shorts to reveal fitted boxer shorts. She snagged his hand she led him to the bed.
Dave caught her around the waist and pulled her against his body, then kissed her neck as he ran his hands over her stomach to the mid of her back. He fumbled with the clasp of her bra for a moment before managing to work it loose, and left it fall to the floor. Holding her, his chest to her back, his hands moved to her stomach again, tracing the line under her breast, but venturing no higher.