But she still had to fit time in there somewhere to do her regular job at BCF since it paid her bills.
With all of that going on, a romantic interest should be the farthest thing from her mind. Her brother-in-law was gone. Gone, for fuck’s sake. She should be in mourning, not thinking about Jacob.
Yet her body told her too clearly that she was quite capable of doing both. She remembered what Jacob’s kiss felt like all the while missing the man she loved like a true brother.
Sara clutched her chest, allowing the tears to flow freely in the sanctity of her own living room.
“Stop being such a coward,” the memory of Christopher’s voice taunted her.
It sounded so real, Sara welcomed the intrusion, even if it did make her feel more than a little crazy to hear him speak from within her mind. Wanting to keep that connection, she continued the conversation as she would have had he been sitting next to her. “Stop being such a jerk. I’m allowed to cry, you know.” Just because Sara hadn’t done it around her sisters much didn’t mean she didn’t mourn him or that she was ashamed to feel sadness. She just preferred to use her grief to help her family. Maddie didn’t benefit from Sara’s tears. Her sister needed action—the kind of action Sara had done for the Gallos when they’d lost everything—not emotion.
“I never said you weren’t allowed to cry. I said stop being a coward.”
“What the hell is the difference?” Before she realized what she was doing, Sara flipped off Christopher’s smiling face in the wedding picture she had mounted on her living room wall. The absurdity of the motion, and of talking to him, caused a brief chuckle.
“There she is. That’s the sunshine we all know and love.”
Was it? Somehow Sara doubted it. She hadn’t felt like herself since she’d received Maddie’s phone call. Besides Tessa, Jacob had been the only one to make her feel alive in weeks.
“Which is why you’re a coward.”
“Jesus, man. Even dead, you make no sense.”
As if from the grave, her brother-in-law’s laughter filled the room. “Why are you running from someone you so obviously want?”
“You’re lecturing me? Really? You just left your wife and child with nothing. How could you blow through your savings like that?” Anger Sara hadn’t allowed herself to feel, momentarily pushed aside her grief.
Death had a way of bringing all secrets to light, and the last few weeks, she’d learned of a different side to her brother-in-law. According to Riley, Christopher had lost his job a few months ago, and their life insurance policy along with it. Not only had he not looked for employment elsewhere, but he’d used all of their money to pay for their night nurse. “The least you could have done was watch Tessa yourself to save you guys some money.”
No, the least he could’ve done was not die on them.
“I’m sorry, sunshine.”
“Are you?” Sara had thought she’d seen pain when her father had left her mother, but nothing compared to what Maddie was going through. “You’ve got a lot of nerve telling me not to run from Jacob. Who are you to lecture me on love?”
“We’re not talking about my life here.”
“Well, maybe we should.” Sara didn’t have to justify her actions, especially not to a dead man who had some explaining of his own to do.
Yet for some reason, she explained anyway. “I’m not running. Jacob has to chase me first for me to be able to run away, and so far, with a few small exceptions, he’s done nothing but keep his distance from me.”
“I thought your neighbor said someone matching Jacob’s description stopped by your apartment a few weekends ago.”
“He did not. All Ralph said was that a tall man knocked on my door. Do you know how many guys match that description?” No matter how much Sara wanted to believe her neighbor had been talking about Jacob, it seemed more likely that Santa Clause had paid her a visit. Jacob’s trips to her branch hadn’t included much in the way of personal interactions aside from their weekly briefings.
“Sounds to me like you’re making excuses.”
“Bite me.” Those weren’t excuses; they were facts. Yes, Jacob had flirted with her, yes, he’d kissed her, and yes, okay, so he’d just done something incredibly sweet, but—
“But what?”
“Damn, you’re pushy now that you’re dead.” And oh, how Sara missed him. Not even anger could diminish her love for him. He was her brother. She gulped past the pain and asked, “How is me pursuing Jacob fair to anyone?”
“You have to take your happiness while you can. Don’t you think I’d give anything to see my family again?”
“Then why did you leave?”
“I wish I had an answer to that. I screwed up, Sara Beth. But don’t let my mistakes cause you to make mistakes of your own. Things aren’t guaranteed.”
Yeah, all of the Morrow women knew the truth of that now, thanks to him. Maddie wasn’t the only one haunted by the nightmare. Abby had been so young when Christopher had come into their lives that she didn’t remember what it’d been like not having him for a brother. The threat of that loss had made her as much of a walking zombie as Maddie. Sara, too, when she stopped focusing on her responsibilities enough to allow herself to feel. She missed having her brother-in-law’s guidance. “I need you here, Christopher. I can’t navigate this shit on my own.”
“Yes, you can. You’re already doing it. Prior to my death, you were ready to give Jacob a chance. Don’t allow guilt to ruin that. Wanting to be with him is a good thing. It means you’ve finally let go of your fears. You have nothing to feel guilty for. Everyone who loves you wants to see you happy. Even Maddie. Especially Maddie. Somewhere inside you, you know that’s true.”
Did she? Maddie had just lost the love of her life. Wouldn’t it be rubbing salt in her wound for Sara to start a relationship now?
“I wouldn’t be saying it if you didn’t know it.”
Well, okay. So that much was true. Unless, of course, she actually believed she was talking to a ghost.
Sara covered herself with the throw on her couch and lay down, opting to stretch out in her living room, rather than go to her bed, in order to stay near the picture of her brother-in-law. Feeling closer to him than she had since his disappearance, she fell asleep with a half-smile on her lips. Christopher might be gone, but he’d always be with her.
“Sara!” Three sharp knocks followed the shout, beating a rhythm on Sara’s front door.
Sara blinked, coming out of her dream in a daze. Thinking she imagined it, she rolled over and hugged her pillow tighter.
“Sara!”
What the hell?
Who knocks on someone’s door at… Sara rolled over again and looked at her bedside clock… 2:15 a.m.?
“Answer the door.” Christopher’s voice sounded in her ear, just as it had a few days ago.
“Go away, Christopher,” Sara muttered, grumpily, “I—”
Her pulse sped up and she jolted out of bed. Had her brother-in-law defeated the odds and finally come home?
She raced out of her bedroom to find out.
Hope clogged her throat as she threw open her door, then it dissipated.
But what filled her instead wasn’t sadness.
She gazed at the man in front of her who wasn’t Christopher, and for the span of what seemed like a lifetime they simply stared at each other.
“Sara,” Jacob breathed her name. Pulling her into his arms, he bent down to place his mouth on hers in a kiss so different than their first. Despite the rapid rise and fall of both their chests, this one stayed slow and thorough. He still invaded in a way that left her plundered, but he gave back himself in return.
In one move, he crowded her into the apartment, kicking the door closed.
Wanting her hands on him, Sara skimmed her palms down his chest, seeking the taut muscles beneath his clothing. She forgot about her responsibilities. She forgot about everything. Her fingers fumbled on the buttons, shaking with desire. She didn’t
recognize the frustrated whimper as hers until he removed her hands, yanked his shirt and undershirt over his head, and stood before her in all his naked chest glory.
And it was glorious.
Magnificent even.
Like centerfold magnificent.
Hard lines delineated pecs and the muscles of his abs. Her tongue craved to lick along the ridges and tease his nipples, but as she leaned in, he whisked her nightshirt off in one swift motion.
“Goddamn, woman.” The words were ground out a second before he captured her lips again.
While he took control of her mouth, his hands splayed across her abdomen where he caressed the undersides of her heavy breasts with his thumbs. He broke the kiss to weigh them in his palms, lifting them toward him, and all she could think was yes. Rough palms moved against smooth skin. The rightness of it almost did her in.
As did his reverence.
He mesmerized her with his stare. It was as if, to him, nothing existed in this world but her.
No one had ever looked at her like that before.
Nor had anyone touched her quite like he was.
He rolled one of her nipples between his thumb and forefinger and she arched her back, pushing the other toward his waiting mouth where his tongue did nothing more than flick at first, then wet heat consumed her.
Unintelligible pleas ripped from her throat, out of her control.
“Please, what? What do you want, Sara?”
Him. All of him. She slipped her fingers in the waistband of his jeans, tugging him closer. “I want you to fuck me.”
Christopher couldn’t call her a coward now. Right now, she was all woman, and she was as close as she’d ever been to roaring.
Jacob returned to her mouth for a kiss that made their first two seem like child’s play, all the while letting his hands wander at will. No reachable place went unexplored—from her hips, to her shoulders, to her ass, and back to her breasts—and she loved every second of it. Especially when one of his fingers slipped past the barrier of her panties to tease the part of her that wanted him most.
That was all she needed to soar.
Sara awoke from her dream in her bed alone, her own hand frantically working her clit, a split second before the orgasm hit her. She waited only until the tremors stopped then threw back her covers and left the warmth of her bed. She had a few hours before she had to start getting ready for work, but no way in hell would she be able to fall back asleep after that dream. Nor did she want to. Instead of feeling tired, she felt invigorated.
Christopher’s advice had stayed with her the last two days. She still felt a twinge of guilt, given that it was her subconscious rather than her brother-in-law who’d told her to go for it with Jacob, but she refused to dishonor his memory by ignoring it. He would’ve told her the same thing had he been alive.
And today, she was planning on acting on it.
Sara grinned at herself in the bathroom mirror. In less than six hours, she’d see the man of her dreams in person.
16
“Thank you for asking to meet with me.” Mrs. Everett sat in the seat Jacob pulled out for her in the posh Andersons of downtown San Diego.
Ten thirty was a little early for him for a lunch meeting, but as Mrs. Everett was an eighty-year-old woman, she had lunch by eleven, dinner by four, and called it a day before the sun went down. She waited for him to sit across from her, then asked, “Would you believe I was thinking about you right before I received your invite?”
Believe? Hell, Jacob would bet money on it. “Well, it’s a good thing I called then, isn’t it?”
He should’ve called a few weeks ago, but damn if he hadn’t been slipping. Thoughts of Sara had preoccupied him to the point he’d practically forgotten about furthering his agenda with BCF. Though, in fairness, the fundraiser had eaten up a good portion of his time, too. He hadn’t been this excited about work since before he’d left the Marines.
Jacob waited to start the conversation he’d outlined on the way over until after the server came and took their order. He didn’t want to seem too eager.
She ended up being more eager than him. The server still poured their coffee when she said, “About that proposition I spoke of back in December.”
Jacob kept his features in an unreadable mask, curbing his desire to smile. He’d come prepared with stats about the fundraiser’s success, hoping their talk would lead into that. He hadn’t expected her to jump right in. “What did you have in mind? Would you like to take over my position so you can show the company what real business acumen looks like?”
The old woman tittered at his compliment in the manner that only old women seemed to do. “You flatter me unnecessarily.” Mrs. Everett raised a brow as if she saw through his attempt and hadn’t just giggled. “I’m not here about me, and I’m guessing you know that. My concern is with BCF and the downward trend we’ve had for the last few years prior to this fundraiser.” She stared him down from across the small table, saying with seriousness edging her voice, “Your father is hurting the future of this bank.”
You have no idea, lady.
If Brian Smithsfield’s entire hope had been pinned on Jacob marrying Elise, then BCF didn’t have a future. Rather than say that outright, Jacob opted for a bit more diplomacy. “He’s made some poor choices that didn’t pan out the way he anticipated.”
“Which leads me to my proposition. What if your father isn’t in a position to make those choices anymore?”
Jacob quieted the cheer that clamored in his throat. It’d been less than ninety days since he’d put his plan into action. “Mrs. Everett—”
“Hear me out. I’m not talking about bringing someone else in. I want you to move into the position of CEO. It’s what your grandmother wanted, and I gave her my word. Now’s the time to act. Your father is close to retirement, but this bank has many years left in it if we step in and save things now.”
“I appreciate your vote of confidence.”
“It’s well earned, Jacob. You showed me that when you defied your father and heeded my demand to notify our employees.” She paused while their server brought out their food, continuing only after the man left. “You don’t have to agree right at this moment. Just tell me you’ll think about it. It’s almost February which means we still have a few months until the board meeting in April. But know this, I’ll be nominating your father’s removal at that time, regardless of your decision.”
Jacob nodded his agreement. He would absolutely think about it.
But the fact that he needed to bothered him throughout the rest of their meal.
It’s what he’d wanted, so why did he hesitate to sign onto her plan outright?
Jacob parked his jeep and tried to armor himself against the meeting that was to come. Now wasn’t the time to drool over her or cater to his fantasies. Sara had lost a family member. It’d killed him to wait this long to check on her. He wouldn’t ruin the visit by making it about more than what it was. She needed his sympathy, not him leering at her.
Jacob told himself that as he walked up to the branch where she worked.
And he forgot it all as soon as he saw her.
A rush of cool air rustled Jacob’s hair as the lobby doors swung open, but it did little to cool his blood. Somehow whenever Sara appeared in his presence, thoughts of how he should behave went away.
She’s still grieving, cabrón. He could see it in the dark circles around her eyes and how her smile didn’t quite reach their blue-green depths.
Yet that wasn’t all he saw.
Her body seemed to recognize his even before her gaze took him in. Proud breasts pushed up and out under the thin blouse she wore as she stood at attention, glancing at the only person in her line of sight. Him.
When she looked at him like that, his need for retaliation against his father disappeared along with everything else. Not only did being near her calm the part of him consumed by revenge and guilt, but she simultaneously turned him on more than any woman ev
er had.
And she also impressed the hell out of him.
She’d worked herself night and day for BCF and for the Gallos, and her dedication to that family affected him more than the secretive glances she snuck at him when she thought he wasn’t looking.
But he was always looking.
Despite the monotonous sound of bills rubbing against bills while money was counted, his dick rose like Lazarus, full of life and ready for action.
He shifted his briefcase in front of him, disgusted with his body’s behavior. How hard was it to avoid the distraction of long legs that trailed up to slightly rounded hips?
Apparently very hard.
Jacob stepped to the side of the inner double doors, watching her in action with a client.
How did she make everything look so effortless? He knew from their reports that her sales numbers ranked highest in the branch, even before the fundraiser, yet she didn’t sell for the sake of money. She actually listened and remembered. When they introduced a change to their college savings account, she hadn’t just done the regular cold calls that everyone else had. She’d contacted customers she’d known had worried about how they’d afford to send their children to college in the next few years. She remembered birthdays, deaths, anniversaries. She made each customer feel as though they were family—the very essence of what had started BCF in the first place.
Jacob’s great grandfather would have been proud to see her in their founding branch.
Pride didn’t equate to what Jacob felt.
Fire breathed into him every time he looked at her, burning its way through his veins straight to his cock.
He had to work at maintaining his professionalism when she walked over to him and smiled.
Mierda.
He didn’t trust himself to speak.
“Can we have our meeting in the breakroom instead of your office? I was just about to get a cup of coffee.”
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