by Hilary Storm
I interrupt her because I can’t take anymore of this, “I fucking know. Hurt her and I will die. Have you ever stopped to think that she might have all of the power to do the hurting?”
This seems to shut her up.
“Why aren’t you giving my brother his going away present anyway? You should be worried about that.”
“Who’s to say that I haven’t already?” She has really come around since I met her. I used to enjoy making her blush. There are a few times she finally snapped and gave it right back to me, but nothing like Ivy. She has never blushed or been embarrassed at anything I say.
“Well, go give him another gift. I’m going back to your apartment for the night.” I turn to grab the remainder of my bathroom items and to miss whatever look Eaven is going to give me. I know she means well, but shit. Give a guy a chance.
“Ok. I will see you in Dallas. Talon wants me to meet up with him there since you have a two-day break right after. I will make Ivy come with me. Eighteen days and counting!”
This gives me hope. I have a scheduled date to look forward to seeing Ivy again. I know she will travel with Eaven.
~Three~
Ivy
I wake to the feeling of being watched. I search the room for Taron, only to see Dylan watching me from a chair in the corner of the room. I’m still naked from earlier and I have kicked the covers off. I quickly grab the sheet to cover my body as much as possible.
“Now you fucking worry about being seen.” I pull my body up to the headboard and tuck my legs up to my chest. He looks angry.
I try to remember where my cell phone is. My jeans. Where did those go? Bathroom, crap!
“What are you talking about?” I try to sound sincere, but I’m pissed.
“I saw you fucking him in the parking lot. Jesus. Aren’t you just the town slut?”
“You have no say in who I decide to have sex with, Dylan. What is your problem?”
“My problem is that you’re a tease. I worked hard to show you that I wanted a piece and you all but ignored me. You used me to be near you when it was convenient for a show.”
“I’m not interested, Dylan.”
“Well that’s just too bad! You had better get interested because I am going to fuck you before I leave tonight.”
“No you’re not!”
“Oh, yes I am. You will either cooperate or not, but I will get what I came after.”
I start to get up to run to the bathroom and he beats me to the door.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“I need to pee.”
“Bullshit. Now sit your pretty ass on that bed.” He starts to grope me and my stomach begins to feel nauseated. Where in the hell did Taron go?
We get near the bed and he shoves my head into the mattress.
“Don’t fucking move. I want to look at you.” He has my hands pinned behind my back. I’m struggling internally. I want to rare back and kick him in the nuts, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to get away before he grabs me. I know that will piss him off further. I wait until he starts to unzip his jeans to pull a leg in to kick him. I hit his thigh and he falls down on me.
“You bitch! You can fight this all you want, it will just make it more fun for me.” The weight of his entire body is smashing me further into the mattress. His grip on my wrists has tightened and his zipper is cutting into my back.
He pulls my face to look at him as he frees himself from his jeans. He shoves his tongue down my throat and I fight the urge to vomit. I bite his tongue as hard as I can.
He retaliates by slamming his fist into my cheek, which causes me to let go. He continues to hit me in my side and across my back. My body is throbbing where he has struck me and my heart is pounding. He’s going to rape me and I can’t move or do anything to stop him.
He works his jeans down and starts to rub himself on me. My heart is breaking. My first night with Taron will always be tainted by this asshole. How can I talk myself into relaxing enough to get through this? I can’t stand this guy. Hate is pouring out in my tears.
“Shut up and fucking like this. I know you like it rough, anyway.” He gathers my hair into his grip pulling my face back into his view. The pull on my scalp starts to override the pain in my body and the fear in my heart.
He pulls back to line up with my entrance and I begin to pray for a miracle. I need strength to make it through this and I need it fast.
I close my eyes and dread him coming any closer to me. I’m so exposed and I can’t stand him near me.
“You’re MINE. I’m going to mark you in every possible way. You’ll feel me deep down every time you even consider fucking anyone in the future. I’ll be with you forever. In your head. In your memories. In fucking your nightmares. Hell, I’ll even be in your heart.”
His words hit me and I know he’s dead on with how this will affect me. This will haunt me for the rest of my life and I can’t do anything about it.
I close my eyes just as he leans in further to make contact. I can feel his hardness brush against me just as I hear pounding on the door.
“Ivy, open up!” My brain doesn’t process who’s yelling my name, but I don’t care who it is. I just want them to hear me.
I manage to get out a partial scream before Dylan covers my mouth. That just causes the pounding to get louder as they bust through the door. Dylan runs from the bedroom before Aiden manages to get in.
Aiden comes blazing into my bedroom just as I slide off the bed into a fetal position. It’s Aiden. Thank god!
“Where is he? I saw his car in the parking lot.” He sounds outraged.
I can’t form a sentence. I just start shaking my head no. Back and forth. No.
Aiden runs from the room and does a quick scan of the house.
“He is gone. I’m calling the police.” I burst into hysterics. I can’t believe this is happening to me. I’m not weak. I don’t let people push me around.
“Hey, come here.” He says softly. He grabs the sheet to wrap around me and then holds me as I lean into him to cry my eyes out. He engulfs me in his arms and doesn’t say anything the entire time I sob. I need him to just be here for me. I need to let these emotions out before I have to face anyone.
I’m so humiliated and dirty right now. How can I face anyone after this? My mind is spinning in complete circles and it takes me a long time to calm down. I’m so thankful Aiden came when he did. My gut twists at the thought of what would have happened if he hadn’t. I don’t want to go to the police with this and relive the whole thing again, but I know I have to. He may try to contact me again and I’m scared to death that he will do just that.
Aiden continues to hold me after I quiet down. I pull away once my tears have slowed down some and he uses his thumbs to wipe them away.
“Ivy, we need to call the police on that bastard.” I nod my head yes and head to the bathroom. I look around at the evidence of Taron and feel sick. I want to turn back time and be wrapped in his arms. Safe in his arms. I pull my phone out to see if he messaged me, but nothing. How can a night start out so beautiful and turn out this ugly?
Taron
I should have known. She can’t be mine. I knew that fucking cowboy had a thing for her. I left her key on the bar. Nothing like walking in after giving the girl four orgasms tonight and seeing her wrapped into the arms of another guy. She was adamant about not sharing, and I wasn’t gone forty-five minutes before she filled the bed. Fuck this.
I leave the door open, just as I found it. I peel out in the parking lot and drive around to find a place to crash. I will sleep in my truck tonight and then get the hell out of this town in the morning. I park near the bridge at the river.
This place just brings back memories of holding her while we looked for Eaven. All of the stress of this fucked up night starts to really get to me. I get out of the truck and begin to scream. I yell with everything inside me. I keep going until my throat is sore and I feel completely drained. I’m sure that is going to
be great on tour for the first few days, but I don’t care about anything right now.
I crawl back into the cab of my truck and reflect on everything that happened tonight. How could I have missed this? I felt like we were on the same page. I know she feels for me. Surely she isn’t an ice queen and this heartless. I can’t believe I let her get to me like this.
She has ripped out my heart. I have slowly fallen for her over the last few months. I have turned away girl after girl because I only have my eyes set on her, a lot of good that did me.
I leave the river at 5:00 am and head to my house after not sleeping a single bit. I need alcohol. I will drink this morning and have fun on the tour. I won’t let her ruin me, or my time on tour. This is supposed to be some of the best times of our lives and I’m beginning this trip with a fucked up head. I need to get my head straight and cleared of Ivy.
I manage to grab what I need and go back to my truck and drink it up. The bus will be here in less than an hour. I use the entire hour to get lit. I toast every drink I take.
“To pussy! Pussy that isn’t Ivy’s!” My thoughts shift to her panties that I still have in my pocket. I pull the black strings out of my pocket and wrap them around my visor. I look at the decorated g-string and pour an even larger shot.
“To quiet girls without feisty mouths.” This will be my new goal. I need girls with no personality because I don’t need a challenge. I decide to forget the shot glass at this point and start drinking straight from the bottle.
“To the king!” Sure, I’ll drink to the king, the queen, and anyone else I can think of at this point. Any one that can help shift my thoughts away from her.
“What king?” I can’t even think of a King right now. King Royal Crown will be the king I drink to. He and Jack are the shit anyway.
I’m trashed before I know it. I start singing songs about heartless bitches and I feel a little better after each song.
Talon strolls out a little before the time that Luke should arrive.
“What up brother?” I say with pure clarity. He looks at me like I have five heads.
“What the hell are you doing? You’re drunk the morning we’re leaving for a twenty-four hour road trip. Damn it, Taron.”
“Oh, it will be fine. I don’t need anyone.” He looks at me with more confusion than before.
“What did you do?”
“I just gave the best way I know how and what do I get? To look at a cowboy holding my shit! My shit! It is mine!”
“Ok. Just chill and rest this off. I’ll talk to you about it when you make fucking sense. I can’t understand your rambling.”
Talon pulls my bags out of the back end of my truck and puts them next to his. Holden bursts out the door just as the bus arrives. I see Eaven on the porch looking sad. Talon runs to her and they make me want to throw up. I had imagined that being Ivy as I left her apartment. I would have held her tight and assured her that I would be back. I would have reminded her that I would wait to get back to her and would have stayed focused on music and not pussy, unless it was hers.
“Time to roll!” I yell at Talon as I finish locking up everything. I toss my keys to Eaven and tell her to throw them in my room.
I claim the back end of the bus and flop down on the only bed worth lying on. This bus is much nicer than our party bus, but it still sucks ass to ride in constantly. This ride is going to be torture. I pull out my phone and look at the picture of Ivy and I from last night. It just pisses me off. I throw my phone into the wall and watch it land on the floor.
“What the hell, Taron. Break something and I will kick your ass.” Luke barges in and tosses my phone back to me.
The screen is shattered. Fuck.
“What’s your problem? This is supposed to be fun, don’t make me put you through anger management lessons.”
I just glare at him. I will not be sharing my problems with this asshole.
“I’ll be fine. Just take care of your damn self.”
He leaves me and I check my phone to see if it still works. Oh, it does. The picture of us is more perfect than ever because now it’s covered in cracked glass. Isn't that just ironic.
~Four~
Ivy
The police finally arrive and I have to relive the situation over and over. I have to tell them that I had consensual sex with Taron tonight and a rape kit will only show evidence of him. They take pictures of the marks on my wrists, back, and cheek. My cheek bone is swelling and the pressure is beginning to hurt.
They don’t find evidence of how he entered the apartment, so they suspect he has a key. The only forced entry was the front door that Aiden busted through.
They won't let Aiden in the room with me when I give my statement. I feel disgusting and alone. I can't quit shivering and my stomach is twisted in knots. I get sick multiple times before they release me. Aiden is in the hall and hugs me the instant he sees me.
“I am so proud of you for going to the police. I am so sorry you had to do this alone. Should we call Eaven or her parents?”
“No, I don’t want to worry them. I just want to go… I don’t know where, but I want to leave here.” I say through the little ounce of voice I have.
“I will take you to our apartment. Macy will be there.”
“I can't tell anyone about this, Aiden.”
“What? You have to. You have to let them know what he did to you in case he comes around again.”
“Can we talk about this in the morning? I just want to scrape this disgusting feeling off of my skin.”
“Ok. We will talk in the mornin'.”
“Thank you for everything.”
“Always.”
We get to his apartment and I am thankful that his sister, Macy, is already in bed. I am not ready to talk about it with anyone. He shows me the shower and I turn the hot water on all the way. I stand there and let my skin burn. I take some of his soap and the smell of man surrounds me.
I start to gag, so I jump out in time to hit the toilet before I throw up. My emotions take over and my tears begin rushing again. I’m hugging the toilet and water is pouring off of me. I step back in the shower and crouch to the floor tucking my knees under my chin. I let the water beat all around me and I cry for what feels like an hour. The water is ice cold by the time I hear Aiden open the door.
“Ivy, I want to help you. I just don’t know what to do.” He continues in with a towel. He keeps his head bowed and never looks into the shower. God, why can't this be Taron. Why can't Taron be here helping me? I should have known he would be gone before morning without a single word.
Last night started so perfect. I try to think about the good side of Taron and remember how he felt when he wrapped me in his arms. I would do anything right now for his touch.
I barely have the energy to rise from my crouching position. Aiden hands the towel to me and helps me out once I’m wrapped up. I’m very unsteady and I have to rely on him completely to get me to the bed. He leaves me on the edge with the t-shirt and shorts. He leaves the room and closes the door to give me privacy. I feel so numb.
I stand to pull on my shorts and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My flesh is red and blotchy, but somehow my face looks pale. I rotate each wrist and begin to realize how much pain he caused me.
“Ivy. Are you done?” Aiden opens the door and I look at his face through the reflection in the mirror. He looks at me with hurt, anger, disgust, but the worst is pity.
“Don't look at me. Leave me alone.” I bow my head and try to cover myself.
“I'm not leaving you. Now get your clothes on.” He turns his back to me.
I pull on his t-shirt and shorts. Everything is extremely baggy and I feel slouchy. Can I possibly have any more emotions?
“Ok. I'm done.” I stand there until he reaches me and guides me to the bed. He pulls back his comforter and sheet and then urges me to climb in. He tucks the covers over me and lies down on the floor right beside me.
“What are you doing?”
“I'm trying to be here for you and not cross any lines.” He sits up on the floor and faces me. My face is on the pillow at the same level of his.
“Thank you.” Tears begin to slip out again. I don’t have the energy to sob anymore, but it doesn’t take much to let the tear drops fall.
“I wish you would let me call Eaven.”
“No. I don’t want to talk about it. Just let me be.”
“I will be here for you the entire night. Just let me know if you need me. Pretend that I am not here.”
I roll over to face the opposite direction and the tears flow even harder. I start to have flash backs of Dylan forcing himself on me. This causes me to breathe heavy and I begin to hyperventilate. I feel like everything is closing in on me. I quickly sit up in the bed and try to catch my breath. Aiden moves in behind me and slowly grabs my shoulders in a hug. I cringe when he surrounds me. I struggle for him to release me when he says, “Shhh Ivy. I won't let him near you, I promise.”
I close my eyes and focus on breathing.
“You are safe. I will make sure of it.” I want to feel safe in his arms. I know deep down that I am, but my heart is craving another set of arms to shield me. He guides me to lie back in the bed and I finally succumb to the exhaustion of this night.
I wake up alone in the bed and I still feel an overwhelming numbness. I don’t think I have any tears left to cry after last night. I move to get out of bed and find Aiden on the floor by my side. This guy is so great. How come I can’t force myself to fall for someone like him?
You can’t help who you fall for. All you can do is try to recover from the crash of the fall if they aren’t there to catch you. I need to talk to Eaven this morning. I don’t want her going to our apartment and worrying about me. I reach for my phone and see a missed call from her. I quickly send her a text.