by Cecy Robson
He lowers his rolled-up sleeves, smirking when he latches on to my WTF expression. “How about it, Curran. Dinner at Itsu’s grab ya?” he asks with a wink.
My shoulders relax when I realize what he’s after. Ah, Itsu’s. Declan may have been hungry. But the excitement of nabbing Montenegro’s third burned a hole straight to his pants. Itsu’s is known for two things: sushi, and a smokin’ hot hostess Deck bangs like cymbals at a high school band concert. “Sure. Yeah. I like Japanese.”
—
Another badge tails Declan while I drive Tess to Itsu’s. She stays quiet and keeps her attention ahead, just like she’s been doing around me for the last two weeks. “What’s up?” I ask her.
“We’re going for sushi,” she answers barely above a whisper.
“You know what I mean. You haven’t said shit to me lately.” I give her a one-shoulder shrug. “You and me, I thought we were pals.”
She adjusts her gloves nervously. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be rude.”
“You weren’t rude.” I steal a glance in the rearview mirror, checking for tails.
“Yes, I was,” she admits, her voice lowering. “You’ve been very sweet—”
“Even when I asked you for that lap dance yesterday?”
She purses her lips. I think she’s blushing, but it’s hard to tell with the blaring commercial lights shining against her face. “Perhaps ‘sweet’ isn’t the best word.” Her expression softens. “Crazy and inappropriate antics aside, you’re very kind.”
“Kind?”
She nods, but keeps her attention ahead. “Yes. You’ve made every attempt to talk to me, and make me smile, although I’ve said very little in return. I…have a lot of stress in my life. But you’re not the cause. And I’m sorry if it seems I’ve been taking it out on you. Believe it or not, I don’t mean to.”
She seems sad, all over again. Just like she always was in college. “Got a lot on your mind?” I repeat, letting her know I’m listening and hoping maybe she’ll tell me what’s up.
“At times I think too much,” she agrees. Her voice is almost inaudible as we pass along the busy streets. “School, this internship, and…well, let’s just say I’m overwhelmed at the moment.”
I have the feeling there’s more here than what’s being said. “Are you sure that’s all of it?” I ask.
For all she tries to smile then, I catch that misery that always seems to plague her. “Isn’t that enough?”
“I s’pose.”
“What about you?” she asks.
My grip on the steering wheel tightens. “What about me?”
“You seem stressed as well.” She shifts her weight. “And when we go courtside, that stress becomes more pronounced, especially around the sheriff’s officers.”
“Nah. It’s just your imagination.”
“Curran…I’m not stupid.”
“Never said you were.”
The sharpness to my tone abruptly quiets her. I think she’s done pushing, and that’s good enough for me. But as I pull onto the street that leads to Itsu’s, she says something I’m not ready to hear. “You know that police officer who was shot. I know you do. And, well, I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry he was hurt. And I’m truly sorry for what you’re going through.”
She keeps her voice gentle, and I can hear the honesty in her words. That doesn’t mean I say anything back. This thing with Joey is messing me up ten ways to Sunday—more than I want to admit, and more than I want anyone to know, especially her. But in not responding, it’s like I confirm all her suspicions. Well, fuck me.
My eyes cut to the rearview mirror. No one’s following us, which is good considering I’m not paying enough attention. Tess threw me for a loop in bringing up Joey, and it’s something I can’t allow. She may not be on the mob’s radar yet, but eventually she might be—just like my brother already is. I have to stay sharp. No matter what anyone says.
And I have to get over this shit with Joey.
I park directly beside Declan, shielding his side with my truck and Tess with the cinder-block wall. “Wait till I come get you,” I tell her.
In her silence, I wonder if she’s feeling sorry for me. I slam the door, hoping she’s not. Given the choice, I’d rather meet a scowl and a swinging fist than pity. Pity’s for pussies and those too weak to fight.
And hell will freeze before I go down like a punk.
The other badge opposite Declan’s ride rolls down his window. “How long’s your shift?” I ask him.
“Got another two. How long do you have?”
“Four more.” I adjust my gloves. “Did you eat?”
“Nah, but the wife’s got dinner waiting. I’ll cover the outside if you want to head in.”
I nod. “Thanks.”
“Hey, O’Brien,” the badge calls as I leave to get Tess.
“Yeah?”
He taps on the wheel as if mulling over his thoughts. “I’ll see you around,” he finally says.
He means well, but what he keeps to himself isn’t doing me any favors. It wasn’t long ago people gave it to me straight. Those were the days, man. Days I won’t easily get back.
Declan and Tess follow me into the restaurant. “Booth in the back, please,” I tell the waiter who greets us, flashing him my badge pinned inside my leather jacket.
His eyes widen. “Of course. This way, sir.”
I motion Tess and Declan forward. Like a seasoned pro, Declan spots the hostess, Sally, or Cindy or who gives a shit what her name is? In that too-tight dress, she’s all Declan needs. They exchange brief nods from across the room, where she’s seating an elderly couple.
Tess doesn’t seem to notice, but she does notice how abruptly he excuses himself soon after he finishes eating. “Is everything all right?”
He smiles politely, though his attention is toward the front door, where his date is already waiting. “Heavy case is all. I’ll probably spend the weekend working.”
Or in bed, I’m thinking.
“Would you like me to come over and help?” she asks him.
“No,” we both answer.
Deck narrows his eyes. A warning meant for me, which I answer with a stiff middle finger. Tess slaps her hands over mine and forces my hand against the table. “Behave,” she whispers. “We’re in public.”
“We’re also in South Philly,” I remind her.
Declan pulls on his coat and drops a few bills on the table. “Thank you for your help,” he tells Tess. “I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening.” To me he says, “Good night, Curran. Hope you can stay warm, in your car all alone.”
Have I mentioned I don’t like being ordered around? “Don’t worry,” I tell him, winking Tess’s way. “I know how to turn up the heat.”
Her eyes are too busy widening to catch Declan slip away and out of the restaurant with this evening’s lay leaning hard against him. I angle my body around, making sure he reaches his car and drives off with his watch tailing him before turning back to Tess.
The waiter who seated us rushes forward, ready to bus our table.
My attention skims to Tess’s plate. It’s still half-filled with food. I hold out a hand, stopping the waiter from taking it away. “The lady’s still eating, buddy.”
“Oh, sorry.”
Tess stares from her plate to Declan’s empty one. “It’s all right. I probably had enough.”
“What are you talking about? You barely ate and you skipped lunch.”
She pushes her hair behind her ear, her attention returning to her food. “We were busy. It was hard to get out.”
I frown. “Which is more reason to eat now. You have to make up for what you didn’t get earlier.”
She glances up. “Are you going to eat?”
I ate quite a bit, but Tess isn’t going to eat alone. This much I know. “Yeah. I’ll probably order another few rolls.” I laugh to lighten the mood when she seems torn. “Come on. You don’t want me to eat by myself, do you?”
&
nbsp; She swallows a little, her eyes traveling back to her plate. “No. I’ll stay with you.”
I point to her food. “Give us another two rolls of whatever she’s having, will ya?” I tell the waiter. He’s been quietly observing and probably rethinking his career choice.
“Right away, sir,” he mumbles.
Tess lifts her chopsticks and cautiously places a small piece of sushi in her mouth. She seems hungry, really hungry. Yet it’s like she’s forcing herself to eat slowly, just like she’s eaten since the food arrived. At first, I thought it was for show, trying to demonstrate all that cotillion crap she’d likely been forced to learn. I didn’t give it much thought, figuring she was trying to impress Declan with her manners. Now, I’m not so sure.
She picks up another piece and eats it carefully, her thick lashes lowering as if savoring every bite. It bugs me. Something’s definitely going on with her. “Did you always want to be a lawyer?” I ask, before I ask something I shouldn’t.
She finishes chewing and takes a sip of her water. “No. Actually, I wanted to be a ballerina.”
I bark out a laugh, quieting when I catch sight of her reddening face. “Oh, you’re serious.”
“I was actually quite good when I was younger. But not good enough for what it takes to become a professional,” she says, carefully wiping her mouth. “So I was encouraged to choose a more practical career.”
“By your father?” Her sudden stillness makes it clear I hit a nerve. Shit.
“Yes,” she admits quietly. She lifts another piece of food. “What about you? Did you always want to be a police officer?”
“Either that or a stripper, but stripping doesn’t offer dental.”
She chokes on her food when she starts laughing, but manages to cover her mouth with her napkin. I chuckle when she lowers her napkin and meets me with a wide grin. “There’s that smile I’ve missed.”
Her humor fades, but not that sparkle in her eyes. “You missed my smile?”
The real one you’re giving me now rather than the one just to shut me up? Yeah, I had, but I don’t exactly say it that way. “It looks good on you,” I admit.
The waiter returns then, dropping a large rectangular plate full of colorful sushi. “You gonna help me eat this?” I ask Tess.
She nods, but then cautiously reaches for another small piece. “Tell me something about yourself,” she says.
“Like what?”
“Like anything.” The corners of her mouth lift. “For all the time we’ve spent together lately, I don’t feel like I know you.”
“I’m pretty damn boring. Good-looking, smart, funny, and with butt cheeks capable of rubbing two sticks together and starting a fire, but boring all the same.”
She tilts her chin, her features growing a little sad. “Why do you do that?”
I pause, wondering what I said wrong, before reaching for a roll. “Do what?”
“Say a lot without really saying anything at all.”
I stop mid-chew. Yeah, this babe’s no dumb broad. “How about I tell you a story instead?”
“A story? You mean about your police training?”
“Nah, I told you everything there is to know.” Okay, not really. “Let me tell you about my family instead.”
“Your family?” she asks, like she doesn’t believe me.
“Sure. You said you wanted to get to know me, right?”
“I really do,” she says with a soft smile I feel down to my gut. Shit, what’s happening here?
I crack my knuckles, trying to relax and shake off whatever the hell she hit me with. “Okay. Then I’ll tell you about the first time I almost got laid.”
The roll falls from her chopsticks, and the smile drops from her face. Her attention sweeps the room. “Do you think this is appropriate?” she whispers breathlessly. “We’re in a restaurant.”
“Probably not, but it’s pretty damn funny.” I chuckle. “Well, at least it is now.”
“But you said you were going to tell me about your family.”
“Oh, it involves them, too,” I assure her.
As much as she’s trying to keep me quiet, there’s no missing the flickers of curiosity in her gaze. “All right,” she says. “I’m all ears.”
No, you’re all legs. Legs I want to wrap around my— I cough into my shoulder. “Okay. See, there’re six of us boys.”
“Six? You have five siblings?”
“No, I have six, on account there’s also our sister, Erin—she goes by Wren. You know, the one who caught our brother fucking—”
“Yes, yes, I know,” she says, shushing me. She slumps back in the booth. “Wow. Seven children in one family.”
I hold out my hands. “What do you expect? We’re Catholic. Anyways, I think Ma and Papa would have stopped after Wren was born and they got their girl. But the Phils made the playoffs the following year and there was all this beer. Nine months later, Ma’s pushing Finnie out on our kitchen floor—but that’s another story.”
“Good Lord,” Tess says, her mouth falling open.
“Yeah, Ma said the same thing, except not so politely. Anyway, so Angus, Seamus, Declan, and Killian had all gotten laid. I turn sixteen, and I still haven’t popped my cherry.”
Tess’s eyes are now the size of the crab roll, but she’s not exactly telling me to stop, so I keep going. “Deanna Zaccara was a girl from the neighborhood. I think she runs a daycare now. Back in the day, she had quite the rep, especially following her affair with the wrestling coach. One day after school, she came up to me, told me I was cute, and asked if she could come over to our house to study.”
Tess tightens her grip on her chopsticks. “Curran! You took advantage of a young woman who was taken advantage of by a teacher?”
“She was nineteen when they were screwing.”
“Nineteen? She was in college?”
“No, high school. I said Deanna had a rep. I never claimed she was a scholar.” I take another bite of food. “So I told her yes. Like an imbecile, I thought she really wanted to study so she’d finally get her ass out of high school. It wasn’t until she dragged me into my parents’ bedroom that I realized she wasn’t interested in my mind.”
Tess gapes at me, and it’s all I can do to keep a straight face. “So I’m all excited,” I tell her, “thinking my time had come. What I didn’t know was that Ma had to close down the dry cleaner she ran early due to a gas leak in the building.”
Tess covers her mouth. “Your mother walked in on you?”
I smirk. “And my grandmother—God rest her soul.”
“No!”
“Oh, yeah. So there I am, wearing Deanna’s green panties—”
“Why were you wearing green panties?” Her fair skin morphs to beet red when she realizes the waiter’s looming over us.
“Deanna was also into some kinky shit,” I tell her truthfully, before glancing up at the waiter. “Hey, you got any dessert specials?”
“Cheesecake, sir. And, ah, green tea ice cream.”
I grin. “Perfect. We’ll take one of each.”
“Yes, sir.”
Tess leans in as the waiter disappears, speaking low. “I can’t believe that was your first sexual experience.”
I lift a piece of sushi and bring it to her mouth. She glances at it, then shocks me by letting me feed it to her. For some reason, it’s a bit of a turn-on.
Who am I kidding? Everything about her turns me on.
I pull back a little, watching her eat and forcing myself to finish my story. “I never said it was my first time. Ma freaked out and beat me over the head with her sneakers while Grammie begged God not to send me straight to hell. Deanna ran out without her panties and I spent the rest of the afternoon in confession wearing them beneath my jeans.” I lift another roll and offer it to her. “So, you going to tell me what your first time was like?”
Chapter 7
Tess
We stumble into my hallway, both of us laughing. My stomach muscles are clenche
d so tight, I drop my purse stuffed with legal briefs, and have to clutch the doorframe to keep from falling over.
Tears stream down my face as Curran finishes another riveting tale from his childhood. “I swear to God, my mother became bionic,” he says. “She chased Declan down the street when he bolted, trying to escape her wrath. Not two seconds later, she kicks open the front door and hauls him inside by the ear, all a hundred pounds of her dragging his six-foot frame like he was nothing.”
I wipe my eyes. “What did she do to him?”
“God only knows. The rest of us were jumping out windows trying to get out of her way. I gotta tell you, though, Declan never said ‘fuck’ in front of her again—hell, none of us swore in front of her after that.”
I place my hand against my chest. “I don’t blame you. From what you’ve told me, your mother’s one tough lady.”
Curran leans against the wall, his smile softening. “She is. She instilled the fear of God into us, and didn’t let us get away with anything. But she was always there for us, you know? As pissed as we’d get about how strict she was, we knew she loved us.”
I smile. “It couldn’t have been easy for her, raising so many children, and raising them all to be good people. But she did, and it’s obvious she put her heart and soul into it.”
“Yeah, she did,” he adds as if remembering.
Maybe it’s me, but there’s something hot about a man as tough as Curran having a soft spot for his mother.
Or maybe he’s just plain hot.
My smile diminishes the longer I take him in, and as his stare sears into mine.
Jesus…I’m not sure what’s happening. If it’s good, or bad, or simply just is. But silence seems to envelop us at once, and all life stops except for the breaths between us.
My hand slowly slips from my chest. If it weren’t for the distant sound of moving traffic, I’d swear time had ground to a halt and carved out this moment solely for us.
It’s…beautiful, peaceful, and welcomed. Yet I can’t enjoy it, even though I want to.
Something pokes at me, reminding me that I shouldn’t be standing here, losing myself in this man’s grip. My keys are in my purse. And my purse is still on the floor where I dropped it. I think I should reach for both, but whatever this moment is, I don’t want to let it go. At least not yet.