by Apryl Baker
“But?”
“But I asked myself a question. What would it feel like to never hear her voice or see the joy sparkling in those beautiful blue eyes of hers? To never see her dancing without a care in the world or to hear her laugh? It gutted me, and that’s when I knew I couldn’t live without her. I had to have her even if it was wrong. She’d wormed herself under my skin, and I loved her.”
It was something his father would do, list the pros and cons and then make a decision.
“This girl, you’ve known her for a long time. Gotten to know her really well. She’s the one person you never go a day without speaking to. Hell, you jumped on an airplane to go after her when she wouldn’t return your calls after only a day. I think there’s more there than you want to admit, son.”
“I don’t know, Papa. I don’t do relationships…”
His father’s snort cut him off. “Don’t know where I went wrong with you boys. None of you have a healthy respect for women, except Viktor. That boy understands finding a woman and earning her love and respect is worth more than anything else in this world. You can amass a fortune, surround yourself in all the trappings of happiness, but if you have no one to share it with, to grow old with, who will still laugh at your very unfunny jokes? What’s the point if not that?”
“I do have a healthy respect for women,” he denied, only to be cut off by his father again.
“Don’t forget who you’re speaking to, Dimitri. I know my own son. You don’t respect women, not the way you go through them like your mother does shoes. They’re like toys to you, and once the newness wears off, you toss them and look for the shinier, newer toy. You don’t give them a chance to be anything more.”
True enough. He’d never looked at it like that. Once he’d gotten a bit of money and his name started to mean something in the author world, he’d accepted all the women who’d vied for his attention. He hadn’t always been an asshole, but they’d worn him down. He’d seen them arguing not over him, but his money and his claim to fame, small that it was. It disheartened him. He said as much to his father.
“Son, people are people, good and bad, man or woman. You seem to latch on to the ones who want what they can get. Have you looked for one who doesn’t see your money? Only looks at you?”
“Looked for one? No.”
“Have you ever met someone like that?”
“Becca.” His answer tumbled off his lips unbidden. “She’s been here from the beginning. She wouldn’t care if I was penniless. She’d still be my friend.”
“And what does that tell you?”
“That she’s worth more than a casual booty call.”
Ronin laughed. “Were you the one to teach your Babby that word?”
“Hell, no. I learned it from her!”
“I swear, it’s her favorite word. She used it yesterday in line at the grocery store. Embarrassed the fool out of your mother.”
“That sounds like our babushka.” Dimitri laughed. He really needed to make time to go over and visit his family. It’d been a few years, at least.
“I’m not going to tell you to go out and start something with this girl.” Dimitri sobered up when his father turned serious. “You’re right in that taking it to a sexual relationship might ruin everything. She loves you, and if you think you can never return those feelings, then put the brakes on. Control your dick. If you love her as much as you say you do, then don’t hurt her.” He cleared his throat. “But ask yourself that same question I did. Think long and hard on the answer, before you walk away from the one woman who you make a point to speak to every day. That’s all I’m saying.”
“I will, Papa, thank you.”
Ronin coughed again, reminding Dimitri of his mother’s worries. Maybe he’d make that trip to Russia sooner rather than later.
“Your mama’s calling me. If I keep that woman waiting, she’ll never…”
“Don’t say it!” Dimitri interrupted him. That was an image he did not need in his head.
Ronin laughed. “I’ll talk to you soon, son. Love you.”
“Love you too, old man.”
Dimitri disconnected the call and sat there, staring at the trees and the flowers, thinking about everything as his papa had asked him. He watched the sun start its descent and felt the air grow cooler as the hours passed.
Mind made up, he stood and started the slow trek back to the hotel, the pain in his legs the least of his worries.
Chapter Eleven
Becca rubbed her back. Sitting for so long really did a number on it. She’d ignored the pain and gotten all the pre-orders done and organized everything he’d need in one of the plastic baskets she’d ordered, from markers to pens, to his swag and business cards. The only thing she was having issues with was the banner. How the hell did people get them put up? This one was defying gravity. She’d smacked herself in the head more than once before giving up on it. Dimitri could figure it out.
She surveyed her work and felt a little pride. She’d managed to get everything done. All he’d have to do tonight was sign the books she’d already organized.
Her eyes flitted to the door like they had a hundred times the last few hours. Where was he? She kept worrying about him. He’d been in a lot of pain. He’d been limping when he left. What if he was out there somewhere, hurting?
He had his phone, she reminded herself for the thousandth time. If he needed her, he’d call.
Which was the crux of the current situation.
He needed his friend to be friends with benefits, and she needed him to be her happily ever after. Neither of those things would happen. That knowledge caused her to toss two of the books. She’d cried all over the pages when she’d opened them to shove swag in them. No point in crying over something that could never be, she berated herself yet again. She knew who he was and what he was and wasn’t capable of.
And he wasn’t capable of a monogamous relationship for more than a few weeks, and even then, it would only be sex, not love.
The door opened, and she swiveled around to see Dimitri walk through it, his face somber. What was he thinking?
When he came farther into the room, he stopped, shocked. “You did all this?”
“Well, yeah. It had to get done, D.”
“You’ve been crying.”
She looked away, embarrassed. She was an ugly crier. Splotches and eyes that looked like she’d had a bad run-in with every allergy known to man. “It’s nothing. We need to leave in a few minutes so we can get set up. All this stuff needs to be loaded into the Jeep, and…”
Dimitri came over and wrapped his arms around her, burying his head in her hair, cutting off her rambling. “I’m sorry, Becca.”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”
“Yes, I do. I left you here to do all this by yourself. I got thrown off balance for a minute, and I didn’t stop to think about all this shit.”
“Yeah, well, I’m your PA. It’s what you pay me for.” She tried to shrug him off, but he only held on tighter.
“No, I don’t pay you nearly enough to deal with all my baggage,” he all but purred into her hair, and she shivered. She definitely needed to put some space between them.
“We need to leave, Dimitri.”
“We need to talk first.”
“We don’t have time.” Panic flared in her stomach, worming its way up her spine. Please, please, please, not now.
“Look at me, Krasivaya.”
She pulled away enough so she could tilt her head up. His eyes were serious but unsure at the same time. It gave her pause. What was he thinking?
“I…” He stopped, and his eyes widened. “Calm down, sweetheart. I can feel your panic starting to flare up.”
“How…how can you tell?”
“Your eyes are so dilated you might as well be in the dark. Your breathing is labored, and you’re sweating. Any other time, I’d say you’d been good and fucked.” He smiled, trying for humor, but it didn’t help. It only made it
worse.
She pushed him away and bent over at the waist, trying and failing to get control of her panic. She knew what he was going to say, and hearing it was causing her to stress out more than the thought of the crowd they’d be walking into. Becca couldn’t lose him. She just couldn’t.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay, babe. What do you need? Just tell me what you need.”
“Inhaler,” she gasped. “My purse.”
He brought it to her, and she took two long, deep pulls from it, the medicine helping her brain to understand her lungs needed air. Dimitri stood there, rubbing her back and speaking in Russian. She didn’t understand a word of it, but it helped to calm her.
“Better?” he asked once she could breathe.
She nodded and sat on the overly plushy chair. “I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for.” He sank down on his knees in front of her. “What happened? You told me only crowds bring that on, but we were talking about…”
“It was the crowds,” she interrupted him. “I’ve been rushing around trying to get all this together without having thought about actually going over there. I guess it hit me all at once when I told you we needed to leave.”
“You never were a good liar, Rebecca Joyce.”
“Let me have my lie right now, okay?” She closed her eyes against the questions in his. “Please, Dimitri?”
His hands cupped her face, and he leaned in, his breath brushing against her very hot skin. “You can have your lie for right now, Krasivaya, but not for much longer. We need to talk, but you’re right. We have to go set up.”
When his lips ghosted over hers, it caused her eyes to spring open. He grinned and tweaked her nose. “Now, get your ass up, and let’s go get this done.”
She watched him call the front desk and ask for someone to bring a luggage cart to their room and to have the Jeep brought around. He seemed more sure of himself than he had when he came in. It was a subtle change, but one she noticed. He was up to something. She just hoped it didn’t involve ignoring her unspoken pleas to not break her heart.
At least he’d given her a reprieve. She didn’t want to face that conversation. It caused her physical pain. She went into the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face, trying to erase the signs she’d been a blubbering fool earlier. Her face looked haunted and her eyes bruised. It was a good thing she’d brought that makeup along.
Diving back into the bedroom, she found the makeup kit in her overnight bag. She made quick work of it, and by the time she was done, you’d never know she’d been a splotchy mess. She looked damn good. Becca knew she wasn’t ugly, maybe not beautiful, but she could turn a head or two. Especially with makeup as her weapon. Tonight, it would help to shield the unsure girl and give her a mask to hide behind.
No point in changing her clothes, though. She’d be filthy later.
“Shit.”
She looked up at Dimitri’s shocked utterance. His eyes were wide, the lust all bright and shiny. At least she affected him. There was that much to salvage her ego.
“What?” She cocked one hip. “Never seen a girl wear makeup?”
“Fuck, I don’t know if I want to take you over there with all those damn models or not.” His expression turned possessive, and he cracked his knuckles. “Fuckers better fuck off.”
“I’m Facebook friends with most of those models. Trust me, I’ll be the last thing on their minds.” She moved around him to answer the door and let in the guy who came to collect the boxes. She moved as far against the wall as she could when he passed. Her nerves were raw, and anyone she didn’t know could set off another attack. It wouldn’t take much.
“Trust me, sweetheart, you’re going to be the one thing they all see.” Dimitri stalked over to her, completely ignoring the teenager loading boxes, and placed his hands on either side of her head, trapping her against the wall. “But you don’t belong to any of them. Got that?”
Becca nodded, unsure what the hell he was playing at.
“Good girl.” He leaned in and kissed her hard, his mouth reinforcing his earlier statement. When he moved away, the bellboy cleared his throat.
“Uh…Mr. Kincaid, sir…”
“My Jeep is being brought around,” Dimitri said, but his eyes never left Becca. “Load it up, and we’ll be down shortly.”
“Of course, but you need to move so I can get this out the door, sir.”
The look Dimitri shot him could have curdled milk, but he moved, allowing Becca to do so as well. She gladly put distance between them, not understanding what game Dimitri was playing. He knew how she felt; she knew how he felt. There was no getting around it. The man needed to stop messing with her.
Dimitri watched her from beneath his lashes. She was clearly trying to suss out his intentions. Hell, he still had some reservations about this, and he needed to explain himself, but the thought of all those models coming anywhere near her sent him into caveman mode. He couldn’t help it. She’d thrown him when she’d come out, the makeup only enhancing her natural beauty. He’d wanted to lock her in the bathroom and demand she stay there the entire weekend if it meant keeping men away from her.
And there would be men. She was gorgeous, even if she didn’t realize it.
“You ready?”
He laughed at the nervous quirk in her voice. At least she was as nervous as he was.
“Yeah, babe. Let’s get this show on the road.” He waited for her to get her purse then snatched her around the waist when she tried to walk by. She wiggled, but he only held her tighter. “Stop fidgeting, Becca. I need help walking.” Lies, but if it kept her by his side, it was a white lie he could be forgiven for.
As expected, she immediately shifted into concerned friend mode and let him lean on her. “How are your legs? You left before you did any exercises.”
“I did them in the park. They weren’t hard to manage. It was just the massage I needed help with.” He steered them in the elevator and hit the button for the ground floor.
“Somehow, I think you had an ulterior motive there.”
He laughed outright at the snarky reply. “Who, me?”
“Yes, you!” She jabbed him in the ribs, which only caused him to laugh more.
This was what she loved, this easy banter they had even when they were upset with each other. This was the laidback man she’d fallen in love with.
The elevator door opened, and they walked toward the front door of the hotel. Mike, the guy from last night, was waiting with their keys at his little desk. He smiled at her, and she returned it shyly. Dimitri growled, and Mike quirked a brow. Yeah, she wasn’t the only one questioning all this possessiveness he’d found.
“Who the fuck are you?”
Becca’s head snapped around at the sound of that voice. She knew it…Christy, Chastity, Charlotte. Something that started with a C. The bleach blonde stood about a foot away, her skin-tight dress showing off all her attributes, which were abundant. Becca looked down at her own t-shirt and capris. She felt so out of place next to this woman. This was the kind of woman Dimitri dated—sophisticated. Becca was anything but sophisticated.
“Charlene?”
Dimitri sounded as confused as she was.
“Dimitri, darling, I was just coming to your room.”
“Why the fuck would you do that?” Dimitri’s eyes flashed, his anger starting to rise. Becca placed a hand over his where it rested on her hip, trying to stop him from causing a scene.
“Why? Because I missed you, honey bear.” She pursed her very red lips in a pout. “Didn’t you miss me?”
“No.” He couldn’t believe she’d shown up here, acting like they were still a couple. “We broke up, Charlene. A week ago. You shouldn’t be here.”
“That little argument we had?” She tossed her hair over her shoulder. “That was nothing we can’t get past. I thought we could go to your signing in the morning then spend the rest of the weekend together.” Her eyes flicked to Becca.
“Mr. Kincaid,
sir, is there a problem?” Mike came over, concerned.
Dimitri wanted to shout at the very dense woman, but he could feel Becca’s entire body tightening, and he was afraid he’d cause another panic attack, so he held his anger in check. “Yes, there is. This woman shouldn’t be here. She showed up without warning, and she’s not welcome. Please make sure she doesn’t bother us again.”
“But, darling, you don’t mean that.” Her pout became even more severe, and she took the three steps to reach them, placing her hand on his chest. “I love you.”
Dimitri let go of Becca long enough to pull Charlene’s hands off him. “I do mean that, Charlene. We’re done. I don’t know how much clearer I can be. You need to leave. Now.”
Her pout morphed into a very angry snarl. “Do you think you can just throw me away, Dimitri Kincaid? And for what? Some two-bit little whore…”
Dimitri wanted to physically shield Becca from the hate spewing from Charlene, but Becca surprised him.
“Two-bit whore?” She cocked her head, thinking. “I don’t know, I think I’m worth at least a sixpence. What do you think, Dimitri?”
He smiled. God, this woman. She pleased him so much. “At least.”
Charlene frowned, clearly confused. He opened the passenger door of his Jeep and waited until Becca was inside before turning his attention back to the woman who didn’t seem to want to take no for an answer.
“Look, Charlene, I’m sorry if you got hurt, but you knew what it was going into it. Stalking me isn’t going to get me to see the light. I am done. Move on and find your next rich boyfriend. I don’t want you.”
He didn’t give her time to respond, just walked over to the driver’s side and slid into the Jeep, pulling out before she could get her second wind. Damn that woman. How dare she show up here?
“Well, that was fun.”
He glanced over at Becca as she plugged the address of the event venue into the GPS. She didn’t seem upset. Amused, more than anything.
“I can’t believe she showed up.” He turned on the radio. “And telling me we just needed to work through our shit? No.”