The mayor smiled and looked off in the distance, thinkin’ bout somethin’. He took in a deep breath and then let it out real slow before finishin’ his drink and placin’ the glass down.
“Never had an eye toward marriage myself. I didn’t see the point. Eventually, at least sexually, you would grow bored. And without sex marriage is just roommates. Why give up all of God’s glorious creations of the female kind in exchange for a roommate?”
“Well, that’s certainly an opinion. I don’t agree with it though. Marriage is friendship. More than that you have someone there, always. All the time through all the horseshit that goes on in life. They’ll be right there ready ta help you. Ain’t no amount a sex an equal trade for that.”
The mayor shrugged. “In another life maybe.” He rose and poured himself another glassful a bourbon and then sat down again. “So what is it I can do for you exactly?”
“This boy, Dean Johnson. The one they gonna hang.”
“The nigger.”
“If that’s what you want ta call him.”
“I want you to call him that.”
“No.”
“Why not? You fight in Lincoln’s army and now you can’t say nigger? I bet you owned slaves before the war.”
“No sir, I didn’t.”
“Why not? I thought you had some money from a business or some such?”
“I did, but I never bought no slaves. I thought it was plain wrong even when it was legal. Never sat well with me and I know it didn’t sit well with the Good Lord.”
He was quiet a long time, not really starin’ at me but kinda off ta the side. “I had dozens of them. Close to a hundred.” He looked at me. “Do you know what it’s like to be king and emperor over a hundred people on a little fief? You feel…invincible.” He took in a deep breath. “And in one war, that was all turned around. And I was left with property I couldn’t work and money I owed for a war I didn’t fight.”
“Dean Johnson had nothin’ ta do with the war, Tom.”
“Didn’t he?”
“No. And I don’t think and the good Dr. Haywood don’t think—”
“Oh yes,” he said with a grin, “Dr. Haywood. She is a tasty morsel. I will have to have her before she leaves town. I’ve never had an intellect. God knows they’re rare enough in women.”
“Regardless, she’s an expert on this sort a thing and she thinks he didn’t do it.”
“Well, so what? Let a jury decide.”
“Tom, we both know they ain’t gonna give that boy two looks fore they send him ta the gallows.”
“Prove he’s innocent then.”
“How my supposed ta do that?”
“I don’t know, you’re the sheriff, you figure it out.”
“That ain’t right and you know it.”
“Life ain’t right, Sheriff. Life ain’t right.”
I nodded and stood up. “Thanks for your time.”
As I left I heard the door shut behind me. I stood lookin’ at it a while and then turned and left inta the dark.
CHAPTER 25
Night fore the trial I couldn’t sleep. It was one a those dreams where I was on the battlefield again. The smell a gunpowder was so strong it was burnin’ my nostrils. Was a fog on the field and I couldn’t see anybody. I just heard their screams as they died. I heard the pop a rifle fire and the boom of a canon here and there. I’d walk toward the sound, just ta see somebody else, but the fog would grow thicker and I could never find anyone. I began shoutin’ for help, but no help came so I kept walkin’ through the fog. A woman screamin’ somewhere through it all.
At breakfast, the three a us were quiet. Betty tried her best ta start conversations but Dr. Haywood and I just weren’t in the mood. We ate quietly a long time.
“You know,” Dr. Haywood said after what seemed like an eternity a silence, “I’ll be leaving after this trial and you’ll be the only one here who still knows what you have to lose out there.”
“I know.”
“Are you going to stay? As sheriff I mean?”
“Can do more good with a badge than without I suppose.”
“I went to speak with the mayor last night.”
I looked ta her. “That so?”
“It is.”
“And what happened?”
“He tried to give me absinthe and take me to bed.”
“Did he?”
She glared at me and I felt Betty’s eyes on me as well. I coulda asked why but didn’t feel the need just now. I didn’t have the desire. So instead I wiped my lips and grabbed my pipe and some tobacco and went outside on the rocker. It was still early nuff that the sun weren’t all the way up and the sky was gray, tremblin’ almost, from the sun that was burnin’ its way through it.
I smoked for a bit and let the smoke roll round in my cheeks fore blowin’ it out my nose. I stood up, clipped my badge on, and went ta the courthouse.
The jury was already there. Twelve men. Ned was on it and so were a couple others that I knew right well. Judge weren’t out yet but the lawyers were here and Andy brought out Dean in chains again, though this time he was wearin’ an old shirt and tie someone musta donated. He sat down next ta Willard and they looked ta each other but didn’t say nothin’.
The judge came out and went right ta business.
He explained ta the jury the process and what the lawyers would be doin’. He told them bout jury instructions and the burden a proof. He detailed what evidence was and what they could and could not consider as evidence.
This went on for almost an hour. Then he turned the time over ta the lawyers for openin’ statements. Both lawyers waived openin’ statements. I shook my head, got up, and walked out.
I wasn’t bout ta sit there and watch that mess. But the fact a it was, even with a good lawyer, Dean would be convicted. He was found on top a that girl and there was a bonafide confession. No way he was avoidin’ the noose.
So instead a sittin’ there I went and got April and decided ta go for a ride. I knew of a canyon nearby, Big Cottonwood, that you could ride all the way up and look over the entire valley. I thought bout bringin’ Betty with me, but I just wanted ta be alone. So I headed home and saddled up April and fed and watered her fore headin’ out.
The day was hot right quick and I felt the heat in my hands and inside my boots. The air was hot too and even though a breeze was blowin’ as I left the town, it didn’t help.
Up the trail a ways, maybe a mile maybe less, was the entrance ta Big Cottonwood. It was a narrow path, closed in by rocks on both sides. Trees, some tall and full a leaves and others barren and short, took up a lotta space on either side and tried ta encroach on the path. I went really slow and rubbed April’s neck ever’ once in a while. I’d taken her out to some Indian ruins near the town bout a year back and she’d inhaled some spores she shouldn’t and got sick as a dog. By some miracle, she survived after two days on death’s door, though she was jittery leavin’ town now.
I ain’t never seen a horse with a will ta live like hers and I treated her special from then on. She musta had one damn good reason ta want ta stay round so badly.
We were up well inta the canyon in just a short time and I could hear the creek runnin’ down. I stopped and let April drink on account a the heat and she had her fill and I got off and drank from hand outta the clear water. I sat lookin’ at my reflection a bit, wonderin’ how in the hell I had gotten so old just right under my nose. I looked a lot like my father I reckoned but I didn’t know if this was what he woulda looked like since he didn’t live this long.
I mounted and headed up the canyon. The path was narrowed even more and then it began ta open up again. April was a little agitated and I rubbed her neck. I kept her on the path at a steady pace until we reach as far as we could go: the top a the canyon.
I looked down over the valley; mostly, it was just dirt and rocks. But the monotony would be broken some by mountains and even forests, albeit small ones made up a few trees. I looked out over t
he town and marveled how small and insignificant it looked and tried ta look at the next town over but it was too far ta see. Cosgrove was a little island right there in that big open ocean.
I sat on a rock and April stood next ta me and sniffed through the loose stones for grass and dandelions.
“You gettin’ on in years too, ain’t ya?” I said. “Helluva thing, ain’t it? Your body starts ta go and your mind does everythin’ it can ta hang on ta it. And then your mind starts ta go too and you don’t care so much bout the body nomore. I reckon folks have two reactions ta that: they either ready ta go and prepare for it or fight with everythin’ they got. Not sure which one I’m doin’. Seems like you ready though, ain’t that right?”
I rubbed her neck and then stood up, stretchin’ my back and legs, and then mounted her again and headed back ta town.
We was just comin’ off the loose gravel near the summit when I heard somethin’ just off ta the right. It sounded like a bird but I felt April’s body tense up under my legs.
“Whoa, whoa.”
Takin’ her down real slow, we focused on one step at a time and was makin’ progress when I heard the sound again. It was loud this time and close. I felt April’s tension and bent down ta rub her neck when the sound came from right beneath us: it was a rattler.
April jumped and I was thrown clean off as she took down the hill runnin’ and fell and began ta slide on the loose gravel.
I rolled some and my head slammed inta a rock and I heard the rattler behind me and I tried ta pull my arms and legs close so it couldn’t get a bite. I saw April shriekin’ down the hill as she was slidin’ and hittin’ rocks and I spun, head over heels, and landed right on the top a my head, and that pain and white hot flash was the last thing I remember.
CHAPTER 26
I stood on the battlefield and the smoke filled my lungs and the smell a gunpowder mixed with somethin’ new: blood. I walked through the fog and I could hear men all round me, in ever’ direction, but I couldn’t see em. I began shoutin’ for em. I listened for one a em ta say somethin’ back but none a em did. So I walked.
I walked so far so fast that I didn’t know where I was anymore. I couldn’t see nothin’ but fog so I didn’t have no bearin’s. Then I looked down and saw the grass. I thought I could track where I was goin’ with that. I pressed my boot down and liquid came up like the grass had been completely soaked. The liquid was black and I knew it was blood.
Lookin’ up again, I started ta run. I heard canon fire round me and I fell ta the ground and covered my head. When I got up, I could feel the blood stickin’ ta my face and hands. I looked at my clothin’: the blue uniform with the gold stripes. Black stains up and down the front.
“Someone help me!” a woman screamed.
There weren’t no reply so I started runnin’ again, toward it. I ran faster and faster. But as far as I thought I got, I didn’t make no progress. I stopped, outta breath, and leaned on my knees and tried ta breathe. I took in a deep breath, deeper’n any breath I ever took, and closed my eyes, and when I opened em, the fog was gone.
I was standin’ in the middle a some town. The houses looked like they been through a lot. The exteriors were charred black, the flags out front torn and tattered. Some a the houses still had smoke smolderin’ outta em but I didn’t see no people. Takin’ my first step, I began walkin’ through.
Each home was different. Different color, different design and size. But the doors was all open. All cept one. I went ta that one. That was the one I wanted ta see. I stood in front a long time and tried ta look through the windas but they was all blocked by blankets and quilts. So I walked up the steps ta the porch and stood in front a the door. I reached down and twisted the doorknob and it opened and I looked inside…
When I woke Doc Stevens was hoverin’ over me like a hawk and tryin’ ta look inta my eyes.
“He’s up,” he said.
I looked over and saw Betty sittin’ in a chair. Her hair was a mess and she didn’t look like she’d made herself up in a few. I was in our bedroom, on my back. I couldn’t see outta one a my eyes. I reached up and touched it and a bandage was over it. The Doc saw that and took the bandage off. My vision outta that eye was blurry. The Doc took out a eyepatch and put it over my good eye.
“This’ll force that eye ta work more quickly. Keep it on at all times except at night.”
He walked over ta Betty and said a few things but all I heard was, “I’ll be back later tonight to check on him.”
Betty came over and sat in another chair by the bed and held my hand. She kissed it and didn’t say anything.
“Am I dead?” I said quietly.
“No, you’re here at home, Jesse. I’m here with you. Dr. Haywood has been here too, she’s been keeping an eye on you.”
She reached down and adjusted my sheets and gave me a kiss.
“What happened?” I said, barely able ta get my voice out.
“You fell off your horse. Took a nice bump to the head.”
“Where’s April? We need ta find her. She don’t like bein’ out at night.”
Betty didn’t say anythin’ for a long time.
“What?” I said.
“I’m sorry, Jesse.”
It felt like the wind had been knocked outta me. “No,” I mumbled. “No.”
“She was in a lotta pain. She broke both her front legs. We had to do it.”
“No,” I said, closin’ my eyes. I turned away, rolling lightly ta my side. Pain coursed through my ribs but I didn’t pay it no attention.
Betty held my hand a long time and said, “Get some rest. I’ll be back to check on you in a couple of hours.”
She kissed me and headed out and I sat starin’ out the winda. The sun was fadin’ and I wondered if I had been knocked out all day and then my head started spinning and I just went back ta sleep.
When I woke up, I heard hummin’. An old song I recognized from somewhere but couldn’t place. I opened my eyes and saw Betty standin’ above me. She was washin’ my nude body with a wet rag and a small bit a soap right there in the bed.
“How you feeling?” she said.
“Like I fell off a horse.”
She grinned. “You’re very lucky you know. Doctor Stevens said it could have easily been much worse.”
I reached up and touched the patch on my eye. “How long I’m supposed ta keep this on?”
“Few weeks, no more.”
I suddenly realized night was fallin’ outside. “First day a trial’s done I’m guessin’.”
Betty didn’t say nothin’.
“What?”
“Jesse…you were unconscious for three days. The trial’s over. The boy was hanged this morning.”
I didn’t move. I felt a sinkin’ feelin’ in my chest like someone had taken all the pluck outta me and a gray sadness took me down.
“You were talkin’ a lot,” Betty said. “You had a fever. Really bad one. I would stay up nights and rub your body with a wet rag. When I got too tired Dr. Haywood would do it. You were givin’ orders. I don’t know to who. But you were talkin’ about someplace called Swainsboro. Do you know what that’s about?”
I didn’t say anythin’. I tried ta sit up but my ribs hurt so Betty took my hand and helped me. I swung my legs round and sat on the bed a minute ta catch my breath fore she helped me dress and put my boots on. Once I got movin’, I felt a little better though it was hard seein’ outta just one eye. But I managed ta get used ta it walkin’ round the house and fore long I walked outside.
Evenin’ was comin’ ta an end and night was overtakin’ the town. Several folks stopped me as I walked down the street. They asked how I was doin’ and what happened. They was bein’ nice but in the state I was in I couldn’t bear talkin’ ta em so I politely excused myself as much as I could.
I made my way over ta Doc Stevens’ and knocked and he answered and I waited a moment till he put his glasses on.
“The hell you doin’ outta bed?” he said.
“I’ll go back in a bit. That boy hung this mornin’?”
“Yes, he was.”
“Can I see him?”
“The hell for?”
“I don’t know. Just makin’ sure I guess.”
“They buried him this mornin’.”
“You didn’t get ta examine him?”
“Examine him for what? He was hung. I went afterward and they cut him down and brought him here.”
“They have a proper burial?”
“They had a burial, don’t know if it was proper or not. Think the only one there was that doctor friend a yours.”
I nodded. “Thanks, Doc.”
As I walked away he yelled, “And get back to bed.”
My first thought was ta go get April and go ta the cemetery. I stopped in my tracks and just stared at the dirt a moment when I realized I couldn’t do that. So instead I just kept walkin’. I musta walked through the whole damn town cause it seemed like everyone and their mama stopped ta check up on me. But I kept walkin’.
Some light was still left by the time I got ta the cemetery. Not much, but a few flecks comin’ through dark clouds. It rained a couple times a year and it hadn’t rained at all this year. But now the air had that kinda wet smell ta it that it gets fore a rain.
I stood at the front a the cemetery and looked over the graves. Near the entrance was one that was just a small mound a dirt, freshly dug. No headstone, no cross, nothin’ ta signify that anybody at all lay there. I walked up ta it and took off my hat.
I had buried so many men I didn’t feel nothin’. It seemed proper ta feel somethin’ but I couldn’t. Nothin’ but regret. I exhaled and put my hat back on. I turned and left the cemetery and headed straight for Suzie’s house.
Suzie answered after I nearly knocked the door down. She had a lamp and placed it on a sidetable and I stepped inside and got just in front a her, her back pinned ta the wall.
“A man died,” I said.
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