Anna shook her head. She averted her eyes and glanced at her clasped hands in her lap. Blinking quickly, she forced away a new rush of tears. What on earth was going on with her? She wasn’t usually this weepy. Cora’s arm went around her shoulder.
“How long have you been feeling sick?” The concern in her voice was real.
Anna shook her head to avoid answering. “I’m sorry for pining the day away in here,” she stammered. “I should get supper ready for the men.” She moved to stand, but Cora’s hand on her shoulder stopped her.
“I don’t want you to worry about anything. Caroline and Josie have supper nearly finished. If you need to rest, I can bring you some food. I’m sure our visitors will understand if you don’t feel like meeting them until tomorrow.”
Anna lifted her head. She’d never avoided work a day in her life, even when she’d truly felt ill. Guilt nagged at her at the mention of visitors. She’d left the other cabin with a mess on the floor. The mud Patrick had tracked in still needed to be cleaned. She shook her head. It wasn’t really her home, or her cabin to worry about. The men certainly didn’t care, so why did it bother her so much?
“Anna?” Cora gave her a gentle nudge. “What can I get you? I could fetch Aimee Osborne, one of the guests. Wait until you meet her. You’ll really like her. She’s a healer, almost like a real doctor here in the wilderness. She’ll know what to do to make you feel better.”
Anna stiffened. She didn’t need a doctor. There was nothing wrong with her that medicine would cure. “A woman doctor?”
Cora smiled. “I believe so. She sure has Caroline’s attention. You know how fascinated she’s been with learning how to treat wounds, ever since Trevor saved Nathaniel’s life. Aimee’s the one who taught him.”
A quiet shudder passed through Anna. Nathaniel had nearly died from a gunshot wound on their way to the valley last summer. Neither she nor Cora had known what to do for him. If his brothers hadn’t come along, he would have bled to death. Trevor had sewn him up, and Caroline had been fascinated ever since, talking about wishing she had some books on medicine she could read. Trevor had taught her some of the things he knew about plants that had medicinal properties, as well as how to treat wounds from burns or simple cuts.
“I don’t need a doctor, Cora.” Anna raised her eyes to her friend. She had to tell her about what had been on her mind more frequently over the last few weeks, ever since the weather had warmed. It was time she left the valley. “I just needed some time alone to think about things.”
Cora studied her. A knowing look passed through her eyes. They’d been friends since they were little girls, and they knew each other well. Cora was aware that she hadn’t wanted to stay in the valley, and wanted to continue on to Oregon. The subject hadn’t come up all winter, but this might be a good time to finally bring it up.
Her encounter with Ethan Wilder earlier had left her more shaken up than she cared to think about. He was yet one more reason to leave. She’d made the best of the months she’d been here, even hoping to learn to like it here. Going to Oregon on her own was a daunting thought, but it had to be done.
She had to stand on her own and find that special place in the world where she’d truly feel at home. Cora had found that place in this valley, with a man by her side who loved her. Perhaps someday she might be ready to think about that again, too – a home, a good husband, and a family of her own. It wasn’t going to happen here in Harley’s Hole, though.
“What’s going through your mind?” Cora asked, almost hesitantly. “What happened that you left the other cabin earlier? Patrick was surprised that you had gone. He said you’d asked him to bring fresh water.”
Anna sat straighter. She inhaled a deep breath. She opened her mouth to speak when the door squeaked again. Caroline entered, followed by Josie. The youngest of the Hudson girls was dressed like the Wilder men, including a large hunting knife that hung from her hip. It had been a Christmas gift from Harley.
She wore her blonde hair in one long braid down her back, looking so much different than the timid young girl she’d been a year ago. Josie had definitely adjusted to living in the wilderness, even if she still didn’t talk to most of the men.
“There you are,” Caroline said with a bright smile on her face. “Supper is almost ready, and the men are getting restless. You know how they get when they aren’t fed.” Her eyes darted from her sister to Anna. “Mrs. Osborne is trying to hold them off until we return. Travis is complaining the loudest, but not even he wants to be in her bad graces, especially with her husband standing nearby with his rifle.” She giggled.
Josie let out an audible huff at the mention of Travis’ name. She mumbled something unappealing under her breath.
Caroline took a step closer, her eyes wide with excitement. “Ethan isn’t as sullen as usual.” She glanced over her shoulder, then leaned forward as if she were sharing a deep secret. “Trevor told me Ethan went to the creek to bathe and put on clean clothes and everything. Apparently the Osbornes are highly respected around here.”
Anna coughed. Her hand went to cover her mouth. When she darted a hasty look at Caroline, heat crept into her face. No doubt Ethan’s reason for bathing had nothing to do with their visitors. She clasped her cold hands against her cheeks, which grew hotter by the second.
“You didn’t feel warm a moment ago,” Cora remarked, a worried look on her face. “But you’re looking rather flushed now. Maybe we should get Aimee to take a look at you.”
Anna shook her head. She stood from the bed and walked across the room, keeping her back turned to the sisters.
“No, I’m fine. I feel fine,” she stammered. “It’s just a bit warm in here.” She wrapped her arm around her middle, staring at nothing in particular. How could she possibly go out and face Ethan Wilder after what she’d done? He’d never looked angrier than when he’d stood in front of her with dirty water running down his face.
It was time to tell Cora and the others that she had to leave. Ethan had never liked any of them here. He’d had no choice but to accept Cora and her sisters and brother, but it was different for her. Anna wasn’t related to them.
She couldn’t hold back the quiet sob that escaped her lips. She’d been part of the family for so long, it would be nearly impossible to say goodbye.
Gentle hands wrapped around her shoulders, then the three sisters surrounded her. Each one of them looked at her with worry.
Cora was the first to speak. “What is going on, Anna? You’re not acting yourself.”
“I did something horrible.” The words burst from Anna’s mouth. She buried her face in her hands, unable to control her sobbing.
“What happened?” Cora prodded.
Caroline touched her arm. “You’re incapable of doing something horrible.”
Anna peered at her. “I did. He’s never liked me before. He surely hates me now.”
“Did what?” Cora looked more confused than before. “And who do you think hates you?”
Anna inhaled a lungful of air. Her spine stiffened as she glanced from one sister to the other. “I . . . I threw a bucket of water I used to clean the floors at Ethan.” Her breath stuck in her throat.
Three pairs of eyes widened and stared at her.
“What did he do?” Caroline asked. “Even though whatever it is, no doubt he deserved it,” she added without waiting for an answer.
“He didn’t do anything,” Anna stammered. “By the time I saw him walk up to the cabin, I’d already tossed the water at him. It hit him right in the face.”
Cora coughed as if she was choking on something. “In the face?” she snorted. Her mouth opened, then widened until she laughed loudly. Caroline began to giggle, and even Josie joined them.
“Oh, how I wish I could have been there to see the look in his eyes,” Cora sputtered between fits of laughter, holding her side. Caroline wiped at the tears on her face, while Josie held a hand over her mouth to conceal her giggles.
“It wasn�
�t a pretty sight,” Anna retorted.
“I’m sure it wasn’t.” Cora barely got the words out.
“It’s not funny.” Anna glared at her friends. “He yelled at me, and for good reason. I tried to apologize, but he just became angrier. He’ll chase me off the minute I come near the cabin for sure.”
“No, he won’t,” Caroline said, apparently first to compose herself. She still wore a wide smile. “When Trevor and Travis find out, you’re going to be a hero.”
Anna grabbed Caroline’s hand, imploring her with her eyes. “Don’t you dare tell them what I did. If Ethan didn’t say anything, then I don’t want this getting out. It’ll only make things worse.”
Cora forced air through her nose. “I can’t keep this from Nathaniel. He’s going to get the truth out of me because every time I see Ethan for the rest of today, I won’t be able to stop smiling.”
“It’ll make things worse if you mock him about it.” Anna’s eyes went from Caroline to Cora.
Cora cleared her throat, then sobered. She tilted her head to study Anna’s face. “Why are you letting this bother you so much? You have to admit, it’s funny, especially because it’s Ethan. I always look for ways to get him to stop behaving like a cantankerous mule.”
“Dousing him in muddy water isn’t the way to do it,” Anna huffed.
Cora’s ensuing smile was infectious. Anna’s lips widened, eliciting another laugh from her friend.
“See, you think it’s funny, too.”
“It sure wasn’t funny at the time,” Anna conceded. For hours, she’d cried and fretted over what had happened. Cora and her sisters had immediately seen the humor in the situation. Why hadn’t she seen it, too? It was rather amusing, if only it had been anyone but Ethan. His dark and cold stare still haunted her.
“I thought for sure he was going to strangle me. He’s always been so disagreeable. I know he doesn’t like me underfoot inside his cabin, but this time he was more than livid.”
“Well, I’m sure you caught him off guard, and that’s something he’s not used to.”
Anna scoffed. “Whether he’s used to it or not, he was as rude as always. I did apologize. I certainly didn’t do it on purpose.” She looked from one sister to the next. She needed to explain to someone, since the person most affected would hear none of it. “The bucket was heavy, and I didn’t look up when I stepped outside to toss the dirty water into the yard. I didn’t see him walking up at that moment. He wanted none of my explanation.”
Cora’s hand was back around Anna’s shoulder. She shot a quick look at her sisters. “Why don’t you two go and get supper finished so that we don’t keep the men waiting much longer. Anna and I will be along shortly.”
Caroline exchanged a quick look with Josie, then both girls nodded and left the cabin. Clearly, they’d understood that their sister wanted to speak to Anna alone. Anna raised her brows. Why would Cora want her sisters out of earshot?
Cora took Anna’s hand and led her to one of the chairs around the small table in front of the hearth. She glanced toward the door before she spoke.
“I know it had to be difficult, facing Ethan when he’s mad,” she said, sitting opposite her at the table. “He can seem rather cold and unfeeling, but he truly isn’t like that.”
Anna stared at Cora across the table. She’d wait to hear what else her friend had to say before she disagreed with her. Every encounter with Ethan Wilder over the months had been anything but cordial. There wasn’t a polite bone in the man’s body.
“I’ve never told you this, because I didn’t think it was important,” Cora continued, “but maybe you should know. You are aware of what happened to Ethan’s parents, aren’t you?”
Anna nodded. “You and Nathaniel both told me. They were killed when they moved from Kentucky to settle along the Missouri. Harley found the four boys and raised them in the wilderness. You told me Nathaniel harbored a lot of guilt for not doing more to help defend his parents against the men who killed them.”
Cora reached across the table and wrapped her fingers around Anna’s hand. “Yes, but he’s come to realize that there was nothing he could have done. He was only a boy at the time, and so were the rest of the brothers.”
Anna’s forehead scrunched. “What does that have to do with Ethan and his current demeanor?”
“Ethan blames himself for his parents’ death. He had an argument with his father the day they were killed. Ethan wanted to go hunting, but his father told him to stay with the family. They exchanged heated words, and Ethan left. His father decided to make camp and wait for Ethan’s return.” She paused, smiling weakly, before she continued. “That’s when they were attacked by river pirates. By the time Ethan came back, his father, mother, and little sister were murdered, and their wagon plundered. They took the mules and everything of value. Nathaniel hid in the bushes with the twins, as he’d been told to do. He told me Ethan hasn’t been the same since.”
Anna stared at her friend across the table. She recounted the words in her head, picturing the gruesome scene. What would have gone through Ethan’s mind at returning to find his family slaughtered? He’d had a falling out with his father, and because of it, they had camped and been attacked.
“Nathaniel dealt differently with what happened,” Anna whispered. Cora nodded.
“I guess Ethan felt more responsible because he’s the oldest and was the one who went off after his father told him not to, and they left on bad terms.” She laughed softly. “He used to be reckless like Travis.”
Anna stared across the table. Nathaniel had often said that Travis put the wild in their last name. “I can’t see that in Ethan.”
“He feels he carries all the responsibility for his younger brothers, and then they taunt him about it,” Cora continued. “Whether he’s bitter or simply built a wall around himself, who can tell? I’ve been trying to get him to act less surly, and sometimes I see a hint of warmth in his eyes. I bet he’s a very nice man under that cold exterior.”
Anna shook her head. “You should have seen the way he looked at me when I tossed that water at him. I thought he was going to kill me.”
Cora laughed again. “I’m sure he was startled by what you did. Can’t blame him for that, but maybe that’s just what he needed to wake up and see how his harsh demeanor affects others. He’s fighting being part of a larger family. Maybe what you perceive as gruffness is actually fear.”
“Fear?” Anna whispered. She understood fear, but Ethan didn’t seem the type of man who feared much of anything.
“Does what I told you give you a little understanding why he might be such a closed-off man?” Cora’s soft words barely reached her. Anna glanced up and nodded. Sympathy grew stronger for the man she’d considered to be nothing but callous. Perhaps she had misjudged him all this time.
It had never been like her to draw false conclusions about someone without first getting to know them. With Ethan Wilder, she’d kept her distance from the moment they’d met. Everything about his demeanor, his words, and his actions, had said to stay away. She’d never given him a chance. She’d already decided when she’d arrived in the valley that she didn’t want to stay here, and she’d used Ethan’s sour disposition as an added excuse.
You’re no better than he is, Anna. You’re afraid to form new attachments, too.
Memories filled her mind of why she’d agreed to make the trip west with Cora and her family. She hadn’t wanted to remain behind, alone with her own loss and grief.
“Come to the main cabin and have supper with us, Anna. You’ll like meeting the Osbornes.”
Anna smiled at Cora. “Give me a minute to freshen up. My face must look a mess.”
“Nothing a cool washcloth against the eyes for a few minutes won’t fix.” Cora stood. “I’ll let everyone know you’ll be there shortly.” She moved around the table and gave Anna’s shoulder a squeeze, then left the cabin.
Anna sat, staring at her hands in front of her. Cora’s tale about Etha
n might explain a lot about the eldest of the Wilder brothers, but it didn’t diminish her desire to leave. Ethan Wilder’s behavior was not really her concern. She had her own ghosts from her past to overcome. And the best way to deal with them was to leave, and find a place of her own where she could truly feel at home. Only then could she perhaps forget what she’d lost.
Chapter Four
Trevor carried chairs from inside the cabin and set them around the makeshift table they had erected in the yard in order to accommodate everyone for supper. Nathaniel and Travis each carried an end of a long bench to add to the chairs. A large table had already been set up using crates and wooden boards. While the main cabin at the homestead could accommodate everyone for meals, it was more comfortable eating outside now that the weather was getting warmer, and especially since there were two more people present.
“Yessir, Nathaniel’s got hisself a fine wife now.” Harley chortled, holding up his tin cup steaming with coffee and, no doubt, laced with a shot of whiskey. He looked in Nathaniel’s direction as he approached, then turned his attention back to Daniel Osborne.
Ethan stood with them by the woodpile in the yard, a large ax in one hand. He eyed the dwindling pile of firewood stacked along the cabin. Travis clearly hadn’t done the chore earlier.
“Never woulda guessed that Nate would be the first to get hisself hitched,” the old man droned on. “But then, with Ethan bein’ so disagreeable, it ain’t no wonder. Always thought the oldest oughta get hisself a wife first.”
Ethan shot Harley a dark glare. He should know better than to let the old coot goad him about the subject of marriage. They’d discussed it – or rather, Harley had discussed it – plenty of times over the last few years. Ethan wasn’t going to get tugged into the same old argument again.
“Why, Nate even brung Cora’s sisters. Nice buncha gals. Sure brightened up the old homestead this winter, even if someone ain’t too happy they’re here.”
Anna's Heart (Wilderness Brides Book 2) Page 3