Anna tuned out the bickering. Her plate sat in front of her, the food untouched. She’d much rather return to her cabin and try for sleep to forget about this horrible day, but she couldn’t appear rude in front of the visitors, either. Besides, driven by guilt, she had to know about Ethan’s condition.
She sought Aimee’s eyes. “He’s going to be all right, isn’t he? I feel so responsible for all of this.”
Aimee came up beside her and pulled up an empty chair. “Well, you certainly can’t blame yourself for his injured hand.” She offered an encouraging smile. “He’ll be fine. His pride might be a bit wounded, but he’s a man.” She paused and glanced at every man sitting at the table. “None of them like to be seen as weak or vulnerable, especially in front of women or their peers, so that means pretty much all the time.”
Caroline and Cora chuckled at her comment. Aimee patted Anna’s hand. “I’m the one who should feel responsible. I forgot about the Indian tobacco I had in my bag. It was an easy mistake to get it mixed up with willow bark.” She laughed and glanced at her husband. “I made a similar mistake once when I first came to these mountains and was learning about healing herbs, isn’t that right, Daniel?”
Daniel Osborne looked her way. “I wasn’t sure at the time what I had done wrong that you wanted to poison me.” He smiled.
Anna’s eyes widened. “What I gave Ethan is poisonous?”
Aimee shook her head. “The small amount you used in the tea won’t kill him. It’s called puke weed for a reason. It simply made him sick to his stomach, and he’s going to sweat for a while, but he’ll be fine.” She chuckled. “He refused a cup of willow bark tea, though.”
“Can you leave some of that puke weed here with us, Aimee?” Travis chimed in. “Ethan might need another dose whenever he gets too ornery.”
“Watch it, Trav, or Anna might slip some of it into your coffee one of these days for your sass,” Nathaniel said, which earned him a jab in the side from his wife.
“Is there something that can be done to help his recovery?” Anna ignored the men and their banter. Although they made a habit of teasing and goading each other, the Wilder brothers would lay down their lives if one of their own was in danger.
“His stomach needs to settle. I’m sure most of what he drank came back up. I’m more worried about his hand, to tell you the truth. Infection can set in easily, and something tells me he won’t keep that bandage clean once Daniel and I leave to head home tomorrow.”
“I’m sure he’s already thought of a reason to hold me responsible for that, as well,” Anna mumbled. At least the other men and Aimee didn’t know of the earlier incident with the muddy water.
Cora coughed, which sounded suspiciously like a suppressed laugh, and Caroline joined her. Anna shot her friends a glaring look. After today, it became even more important that she leave as soon as possible. If Ethan hadn’t disliked her enough already, he now thought she’d tried to poison him on purpose.
“Trevor and I will make sure he follows your instructions, Aimee,” Caroline said, looking at Aimee Osborne with awe in her eyes. “I wish that someday I could be as knowledgeable as you and learn to heal people.”
Aimee smiled at the young girl. “There’s no reason you can’t,” she said. “You’re about the right age to enter university, aren’t you? You should consider going to medical school.”
Caroline’s eyes widened. She laughed nervously. “Medical school? How’s that possible? A woman can go to school to be a doctor?”
“I’m sure there are women who’ve gone to medical school. If you’re interested, I can find out for you. My son, Matthew, is a doctor in New York.” She looked toward her husband, then added with a note of pride in her voice. “Our other son, Zach, recently opened his own law practice in St. Louis. He, too, might know of a college that accepts women.”
Caroline’s face lit up like a lightning bug. “Did you hear that, Cora? I could go to college and learn to be a doctor.”
Cora nodded. “Wouldn’t that be something? We can certainly talk about it if that’s what really interests you.”
“Oh, yes.” Caroline glanced excitedly from Cora to everyone else around the table. She smiled at Trevor, who sat next to her.
Travis’ twin looked at her with an unreadable expression on his face. He seemed more quiet than normal. Anna’s lips twitched to suppress a smile. Trevor hid that he was smitten with Caroline well, but she’d frequently observed the way he looked at Cora’s younger sister when he thought no one else was watching. Clearly, he hadn’t made his feelings known to her, yet, which was for the best. They were too young for romantic notions.
A sharp pain jabbed Anna in the chest, as if a knife had been thrust into her. Hadn’t she felt the stirrings of young love at about the same age as Caroline was now? She blinked and looked toward the distant mountains.
As exciting and beautiful as it was to fall in love, the pain of losing that person was unbearable. At least Caroline didn’t seem to notice Trevor’s adoration. It might be a good thing if she left this valley for some schooling in the east. The Wilder men lived a rough and dangerous life. Even though Cora had found a good man in Nathaniel, she’d often expressed her worry about the possibility that she might lose him to some unknown danger in the wilderness.
“Where did you go to school to become a doctor?” Caroline asked eagerly, looking at Aimee. The older woman exchanged a quick look with her husband.
“I grew up in New York.” Her response seemed a bit vague.
“I ain’t never heard of a woman going to school and becoming a doctor before,” Travis chimed in.
“That’s because you’re thick-headed like a mule, Travis Wilder,” Josie mumbled under her breath next to Anna. She kept her head down, looking at her hands in her lap. No one seemed to have heard her. Anna’s brows rose while she studied the girl. Josie usually kept quiet when the men gathered at the table. Her mistrust of most men hadn’t gone away after the horrific ordeal she’d endured nearly a year ago.
Anna shifted in her seat. Perhaps now was as good a time as any to speak to Nathaniel about taking her to Oregon. Before she faced him, Cora stood from the table and cleared her throat.
“Since we’re all here together,” she said, looking from one person to the next and moving to stand behind Nathaniel’s chair. She put her hand on her husband’s shoulder, smiling down at him. He returned her smile and even winked at her when their eyes met. The love between them had only grown stronger over the months since they’d been married.
“Well, since most of us are together,” Cora corrected, glancing at the empty chair Ethan would have occupied, “Nathaniel and I have an announcement.”
“You two decided to call it quits and go your separate ways?” Travis called, a wide grin on his face. He cuffed Nathaniel on the arm. “Had enough of being hitched and tied down? Now that the weather’s cleared, we can go explore the mountains, Nate. Lucas wants to go buffalo hunting on the plains. We should join him.”
“I don’t think so.” Nathaniel chuckled. “I ain’t ever letting go of the most important person in my life.” He placed his hand over his wife’s. Anyone could see the love he had in his eyes for Cora. After their tumultuous beginnings, there was nothing they couldn’t overcome.
Anna sighed. She’d have to wait for Cora to finish speaking before approaching Nathaniel.
“Well, let’s hear it,” Harley called out. “We’re all waitin’ fer the news.”
Cora looked at the old trapper, her smile widening. “Nathaniel and I . . .” She hesitated, then straightened, and raised her chin. “I’m in the family way.”
Anna set aside the last of the dirty supper dishes she’d washed. Since she hadn’t helped fix supper, she’d insisted on doing the cleanup. The sun had set a while ago, but everyone had remained in the yard, sitting around the table, talking and laughing. Trevor and Travis had built a fire in the pit that was used to cook large game. It illuminated the entire area in front of the main c
abin. Daniel and Harley retold stories of their earlier years trapping the mountains of the Yellowstone country.
Cora reached for the last plate that needed to be dried.
Anna set aside her wet dishrag and wrapped her arms around her friend’s neck. “I’m so happy for you, Cora.” They both cried with joy, clinging to each other.
“I can’t believe this is happening, that I’ve found so much happiness in my life. Last year, the world didn’t look so bright, for any of us.”
Anna nodded at Cora’s words. That familiar stabbing pain pierced her heart again. A little over a year ago, her world had shattered into pieces. She’d never told anyone, not even Cora, about the depth of her grief. She’d tried to put it behind her and move on. Some days were easier than others, but she’d managed to conceal her broken heart well.
“I’d best get the dishes put away.” Anna pulled away from her friend. “You should sit with your husband. He’s making eyes at me as if I’m about to steal you away.”
“I’ll help,” Cora offered.
“No, you won’t. I didn’t help with supper, so I’m finishing the cleanup.”
Anna wiped her wet hands on a towel. She smiled at her friend to hide the turmoil inside her. She’d never begrudge Cora her happiness, but today the emptiness in her heart seemed wider than before.
She’d been prepared to ask Nathaniel about taking her to Oregon as he’d promised last summer, but how could she even bring up the subject now? Anna could never ask him to leave Cora for an extended length of time, now that she was expecting. Perhaps he could at least take her to Fort Hall. If not, she might even consider asking the twins. From the old trading post, she’d simply have to find a wagon company coming through that might be willing to let her join up with them, even without a male escorting her.
Anna picked up the plates and carried them to the cabin. Her heart sped up as she opened the door. Tiptoeing inside the dark space, she placed the dishes on the table as quietly as possible. Ethan hadn’t made an appearance after Aimee had urged him to rest in his bunk. Hopefully, for his own sake, he would have a restful night.
The thought had barely crossed her mind, when a low moan came from behind the curtain of Ethan’s sleeping area, followed by a rustling of blankets and a shuffle of feet on the wooden floor. Anna spun around. Ethan emerged from behind the curtain. He was bare from the waist up, his sweat-covered skin glistening in the golden glow of the lantern that flickered on the table. He stopped in his tracks when he glanced up.
Anna held her breath. She forced her eyes to his face rather than allowing them to travel lower, but it was difficult to ignore the well-sculpted man standing in front of her. Even though he stood slightly hunched over, his face pale and his eyes clouded with pain and discomfort, he was intimidating.
Heat crept up her neck and into her cheeks. “I thought you’d be asleep,” she stammered. “I didn’t intend to disturb you.” She gripped the dishrag in her hand, coiling it into a tight rope.
“I need some water,” he rasped, nudging his chin toward the pitcher on the counter by the hearth.
Anna moved to lift a tin mug from the shelf. Her hand trembled when she poured water into it.
“I wasn’t asking you to bring it to me,” he said when she handed Ethan the mug. He reached for it with his bandaged hand, then clearly thought better of it, lifting his right hand instead. His fingers grazed hers as he gripped the mug. Anna snatched her hand away, an odd jolt rushing through her from the contact.
“I know you weren’t,” she snapped. “I was simply trying to be helpful.”
A low rumble that could have been a chuckle erupted from Ethan’s chest. “That seems to be your problem, don’t it?”
Anna’s forehead scrunched. “What seems to be my problem, Mr. Wilder?”
“You’re always so helpful.”
Her spine stiffened. Even while feeling unwell, he had to be rude. His dark gaze roamed over her face, lingering on her eyes. The flickering of the lantern cast shadows over his form, making the scowl on his face appear even more ominous.
“I hope you have a restful night, Mr. Wilder.” Anna skirted around him to get to the door. “Perhaps tomorrow, you’ll be well enough again that feeling poorly can’t be an excuse for your sour disposition.” She should apologize for her mistake earlier with the tea that had made him sick, but his continued surly attitude only left her wanting to get away from him.
Anna glared at him one final time, then stepped quickly from the cabin. She blinked back the sting of tears and ignored the trembling of her hands and legs as she rushed away from the cabin. She slowed her strides to give an outward appearance that all was well while on the inside her body trembled with a mixture of anger and despair.
Cora came up to her, heading her off as she was about to excuse herself and go to her cabin. It was time to find the solitude of her bed, and perhaps forget this awful day had ever happened.
“Anna? Is everything all right?”
Anna stopped to face her friend. She was done pretending. Nothing was all right.
“No.” Her voice cracked. “Things aren’t all right. And apparently I can’t do anything right, either.” She sucked in a quick breath.
Anna glanced around. Everyone still sat around the table. Daniel spoke with Nathaniel, Travis, and Harley, while Caroline was in conversation with Aimee. Patrick sat between the two old mountain men, his eyes glued to Daniel. Only Trevor and Josie sat by themselves, apparently deep in their own thoughts. Anna shot a quick glance toward the cabin she’d left a moment ago.
“I wanted to say something earlier, but now I can’t possibly ask.”
“Ask what?” Cora reached her hand out to touch Anna’s shoulder.
Anna forced a smile. “You’ve been my best friend for most of my life, Cora. I tried, I really did, to make a life here.” She shook her head. “I simply can’t do it. It’s time I think about leaving, and continue on to Oregon. I need to find my own place in the world.”
“Anna,” Cora whispered her name, sadness clouding her eyes. “I was hoping you’d stay here with us, since you haven’t mentioned leaving.”
“I love you, Caroline, Josie, and Patrick, but there’s an emptiness inside me, and a calling for something I can’t even name. I have to find out what that is. Please understand.”
Cora nodded. Her smile was strained. “I do understand,” she whispered. “When we came here, you agreed to stay the winter, and that if you still wanted to leave come spring, we’d make sure you got to Oregon.”
“I could never impose on Nathaniel to escort me to Oregon like he promised. Not with you having a baby on the way. You need your husband here with you.”
“We’ll think of something,” Cora said. “You know I won’t stand in your way, even if it pains me to see you go, and I’ll talk to Nathaniel.”
Harley stepped up to them at that moment. “Couldn’t help but overhear,” he said, looking at Anna and running his fingers through his beard. “I hate ta see ya leave us, Anna, but sometimes a person’s gotta do what they think is right fer themselves.”
He glanced toward the cabin, then smiled. He cleared his throat, and in a loud voice that everyone around him could hear said, “If yer sure you want to head off to Oreegun, I think the right man to take ya an’ make sure ya get there safely is Ethan. Far as I can figure, he ain’t got nothin’ better ta do.” He raised his chin, and nodded in the direction of the cabin. “Ain’t that right, Ethan?”
Anna shook her head in protest. Her eyes followed old Harley’s movement and her mouth fell open. Standing in the open doorframe, staring at her, was Ethan Wilder.
Chapter Six
Ethan sat on his bunk and slipped an arm though the sleeve of his shirt. His stomach growled while his dry tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. At least the nausea was gone, even though pain still jabbed his gut like hot needles. He stood, grimacing when his bandaged hand bumped into the wooden corner of the bed.
Which hurt worse �
� his stomach or his injured hand? They seemed to have traded off tormenting him during the night. He scowled. Nothing had plagued him more than the look on Anna’s face last evening when she’d offered him the glass of water and he’d made that snide remark to her about always being so helpful.
Remorse and even a hint of pity had been clearly written in her eyes, yet she’d bristled when he’d acted like the mule his brothers so often accused him of being. It was just as well. He didn’t need her damn pity. Wasn’t it because of her that he’d been feeling sicker than a dog?
Ethan fumbled with the buttons of his shirt. Aimee Osborne had wrapped the confining bandage around his hand so effectively, his fingers couldn’t move to slip the button through the hole. After several attempts, he gave up. His left hand was useless at the moment. There hadn’t been a time in his life when he’d felt like such an invalid. The muscles along his jaw tightened instantly before he’d even finished that thought.
There had been one day in his life when he’d felt even more helpless, and it had nothing to do with a physical injury. He might not have been an invalid as a fifteen-year-old boy, but the day he’d found his parents slaughtered had changed his entire life, and he’d never felt as helpless before or since. A dozen years had passed since that horrible day, and it was still as vivid in his mind now as if it had happened yesterday.
Ethan glanced at his hand. He’d gladly slice off his entire arm if he could alter the course of events of that day. It had changed him as a person, had made him hard and unfeeling, because he never wanted to experience that kind of pain or guilt again. Voices from his past echoed in his head – the voice of a hot-tempered youth yelling at his father that he hated him for telling him what to do, then the voice of his mother calling to him that he surely didn’t mean his disrespectful words when he’d stormed from camp. He’d ignored her, and the baby sister he’d left sitting in the dirt. She’d cried, repeatedly calling “Ean, no go,” because she’d been too young to say his name correctly.
Anna's Heart (Wilderness Brides Book 2) Page 5