“Tumbalalaika, shpil balalaika
Tumbalalaika freylekh zol zany”
Irene repeated the song and we sang together:
“Tumbala, Tumbala, Tumbalalaika
Tumbala, Tumbala, Tumbalalaika
Tumbalalaika, shpil balalaika
Tumbalalaika freylekh zol zayn”
I started to cry.
“Here, sweetheart.” Frances handed me a box of tissues that were on the small table next to Irene’s bed. “My mother use to sing that song to me, too.”
“Thank you.”
“Your ring is beautiful,” Frances said, admiring my engagement ring. “Look at this ring, Mom. When are you getting married?”
“In a few weeks.”
“You must be so excited.”
“I am.”
“Here.” Irene handed me the brush and I look startled.
“I think my mom wants you to keep it. Right, Mom?”
Irene nodded her head in agreement. “For your wedding. Something old.”
“I can’t.”
“Please,” she said, and with the sweetest smile Irene pushed the brush back into my hand.
“Thank you. My grandmother loved you,” I said as I clutched her small body and kissed her again on her forehead as Irene stroked my cheek.
“And I so loved her,” she replied.
We talked for a few more minutes but it soon became apparent that Irene was very tired and wanted to rest.
“I am going to go now,” I said, holding Irene’s hands in mine and feeling my grandmother who had held the same hands. “But I want to again thank you so much.” As I spoke, tears continued to pour down my face. “And I will be thinking of you on my wedding day. And you will always be in my heart.”
“Send us a picture,” Francs said as she started to walk me to the door.
“I will. Goodbye, Irene.”
As I began to walk to the door, I stopped as I heard Irene’s voice.
“My mom wants to say something,” Frances said. “What is it, Mom?”
Irene took another sip of the soda and spoke.
Irene repeated the same last words that Nana said to me.
“Save one life, seed a generation.”
And hearing those words, it was as if Nana was also in the room with us.
Chapter Thirty Eight
The morning dawned sunny and bright, and I knew that it was one of those days that were going to be a beautiful one. Upon waking up and looking at Cliff who was still sleeping so peacefully beside me, I thought about how today was going to change my life. I had no regrets, cold feet or qualms about this day. This time felt right and I so loved Cliff. For the first time in my life, I knew love for all the right reasons.
“So have you finally decided how you are going to wear your hair?” Cliff asked as he rolled over and stared at me with his beautiful eyes.
Unlike the first time around, I had read every bridal magazine and had experimented with every imaginable hair style in anticipation of this day.
“Not yet,” I responded.
“Ok. I guess I will be surprised,” he said, walking into the bathroom.
Taking Nana’s brush from the nightstand, I began brushing my hair and shouted, “Either down or up?”
“Thanks for all the information,” Cliff shouted back. “And did you finish that book?”
“Which one?” I asked.
“The one Ellen gave you. I think it is called BEFORE YOU SAY I DO AGAIN!”
“Funny. Anyway, I think it is too late.”
Ok, just asking.”
“Look at the sky.” I pulled back the drapes and moved open the plantation shutters. The sky was a peaceful shade of blue and the pure white clouds looked like cotton candy floating by.
Cliff and I had stayed at the hotel and had planned to spend the morning going over any last minute details. But instead, we decided to enjoy the morning by walking along the surf. As we strolled hand in hand, the sun stroked the shore where two young boys were trying unsuccessfully to fly a kite. Each time they tried, the kite bobbed for a moment before crashing into the sand.
We moved closer to the rushing water and the waves gently crested and then crashed over one another, forming little prisms of rainbows from the ocean spray. As the first waved rolled over my feet, it left foam and bubbles. I could taste the salt in the air.
It was now almost noon and I did not want this moment to end. But we had to get ready.
“When will I see you again?” I kiddingly asked my groom.
“Well, I don’t know,” he joked back. “I have to be somewhere around 5. After that I am free. How about you?”
“I also have something I need to do. But maybe we will run into each other later.”
“Ok. See you then.”
As we kissed goodbye, I knew that the next time we kissed would be under the Chuppah as husband and wife.
I spent the afternoon with Marcia, who helped me with my makeup. And after much discussion, I decided to wear my hair up.
“You look beautiful,” Marcia said as she placed the tiara on my forehead and we both gazed into the floor length mirror.
Marcia said that I looked like a princess in my white strapless gown. It was far less ornate than my mom’s gown but not ordinary.
“Do you feel different? You know, this time.”
“I do,” I said, looking at my reflection in the mirror. “I feel alive!”
The sun was about to disappear over the horizon as another day was about to give way to night. It was one of the most enchanted sunsets; the sky was a cocktail of red, purple, pink and orange, and the water shimmered and shone with the yellow highlights glowing upon the waves. The slight breeze perfected the atmosphere.
“You’re so beautiful. My precious little angel,” my dad said as he clutched my hand.
“I somehow remember you saying that line once before.”
“I did. But this is your wedding.”
I was so thrilled that my dad was here.
“I love you, Dad.”
The string quartet played my Nana’s favorite wedding song Erev Shel Shoshanim and I clutched my small bouquet of white roses.
“It’s time,” my dad whispered as we took our first steps walking slowly in sync on the wooden planks that had been placed over the sand, while my flowers bobbed up and down with each fluid step.
Looking at the end of the aisle, the night suddenly paled in comparison to the love I saw in Cliff’s eyes. I felt like I was walking on this morning’s cotton candy clouds and my heart felt as if it were going to burst with the love I felt as I looked at him. Our gaze never wavered from one another. I could see every thought in his eyes, which were welcoming and seemed to playfully dance in the light of the candles. But it was his smile that told the whole story; I knew everything good would happen just by his smile. And never once did my mind flit back to my past.
As we finally reached the end of aisle, a slight breeze picked up as the gentle surf greeted the white sand and quickly retreated, leaving foam. I curled my toes and dug my heels into the chalky white sand as Cliff and I stood before the Rabbi.
“Do you take this man to be to be your lawful wedded husband?”
I looked up into the changing sky and closed my eyes. As if on cue, a quickly passing cloud sprayed a gentle rain. Not long enough to cause anyone to take cover. But long enough for me to lift my head to the clouds and see my Nana’s sweet smile blessing us.
“I do,” I whispered.
“Mazel Tov,” the crowd erupted as Cliff smashed the glass. And, with the Ferris wheel in the background, Cliff arched me backwards, giving me the most amazing kiss a girl could ever imagine.
(Two years later)
Save one life, seed a generation. Two years later, our daughter Rose Irene Warner came into this world. She had her dad’s brown eyes and her Nana’s sweet smile. And oh yes–she was always hungry!
Will
Against My Will Page 23