Blake’s hand left my thigh. When I looked up, I was met by his strained expression. “Yeah, about that.” He scrubbed the back of his neck, angling his head. “If we’re coming clean, I guess I should tell you. I kind of set that up.”
“You?” I squeaked. “But I don’t understand. Jace gave me the card. He said he—Jace, that bitch.” My hands balled into fists as all the clues began to float together one-by-one. The card, the secretive way he was acting when I asked how Blake was. “I knew he was up to something. I’m losing my touch.”
He winced. “Yeah, I asked him not to tell you. I didn’t want you to not go because I was the one sending you there. I researched the best psychiatrist for abuse and gave him her card.”
I gulped, my eyes softening from the shock to absorb just how much this man loved me. The lengths that he had gone through even after I had pushed him away so forcefully. “So that’s why he was so insistent I see her.”
He sighed. “Yeah, we’ve kind of been working together. Well, after that one incident, anyway.” His cheeks tinged a colorful pink. It was completely adorable how bashful he became when he had to confess something.
“What’s this you speak of?” My eyebrows raised and I sat up straight. “I know of no incident.”
He winced again. “I kind of hit him once. But it was only once,” he rushed to reassure me.
“Wait. You hit Jace? My Jace?” I palmed my chest, disbelief raising my tone each time his name passed my lips. “Jace, Jace?”
Blake looked into his lap and fiddled with his fingers. “I’m not proud of it.”
“Forget that.” My eyes widened. “He let you? Like, you’re still alive? And your member is still intact?” I blew out a puff of air. “Damn, he must like you more than I thought.”
“I was going through a rough time, okay?” Blake looked as though he were confessing to his mother about eating the last cookie in the middle of the night, eyes wide with guilt, canary feathers hanging from his lips. “He knew that. He’s not stupid. It was all out of love for you anyway, and I think that kid might love you just as much as me.” He lowered his voice. “He really is a good guy, you know? He put up with some kind of torture from me.” Blake’s head snapped up, apprehension bursting from his eyes as they narrowed. “But don’t you dare tell him I said that.”
I laughed. “Your secret’s safe with me.” My stomach tightened, knowing the next part would be a sore topic for him, but it couldn’t be avoided. I cleared my throat. “That’s where I connected with Drew.” I peeked at Blake, trying to gauge his reaction.
He stiffened. “So, you’re telling me it’s my fault then? That I sent you straight to the next suitor?” He crossed his arms over his chest.
I chuckled at Blake’s choice of words. I knew he was using it to lighten a topic which still made him uncomfortable whether he wanted it to or not. “Don’t be silly. He’s only ever been a friend.” At Blake’s disbelieving scowl, I covered his hand with my own. “I mean it. And he’s amazing. I’d love to tell you what he’s done for me. I think you’ll really like him.” I pushed my gaze into his. “And I think you’ll be really thankful.”
Blake’s shoulders melted, becoming more relaxed. He brought one hand to the side of my face and stroked my cheek with his thumb. “If I have him to thank for bringing you back to me, then you’re right. I’m more thankful than he’ll ever know.”
“I’m sure he’d like to hear that.” I smiled, feeling anxiety lift from my shoulders. I exhaled. “I feel better already. It bothered me so much that you were hurt by the thought of me being close to him.” I took his face in my hands, needing there to be absolutely no doubt of my feelings. “No one can ever take your place, Blake. Ever. So please, don’t doubt that you’re the only one for me.”
Blake answered me with a soft kiss. “Noted. I’d like to meet him one day. Officially. So I can shake his hand and thank him for helping my girl.” A small smile tilted his gorgeous lips.
“I’d like that, too.” I returned his smile, feeling that one pebble drop from all the weight of our bucket.
My journal sat like fifty tons in my lap, bringing me to the most important part of this. I sat up straighter, forcing a little extra distance between us. Running my palm over the top of it, I stared down as I gathered my newfound courage. Blake sat up taller as well, elongating his back against the headboard. When I raised my gaze to his, I found his eyes fixated on the book as he clenched and unclenched his jaw in a nervous pattern. Behind those indecisive eyes was a barrage of different things tumbling through his head, as though he were trying to pick through them all and find the right set of words. But the words needed to come from me this time.
“Some days are harder than others.” I gulped.
That sent his sapphire eyes my way. I smiled to reassure him he could relax. I wouldn’t break this time. “When Drew came across me, I was a wreck of a person. Lonely, not eating, confused . . . hurt. I resorted back to the same girl you’ll find in these pages. Maybe even worse.”
Still seeming unsure, Blake glanced at the book again.
“I want you to have this.”
With a hard swallow, Blake’s glimmering eyes snapped up to meet my determined stare. “Angel—”
“I want you to have this, Blake. I could sit here and tell you my story, but sometimes the words—they get trapped. This way you can get it straight from inside of me. I don’t want there to be any more secrets.”
A mist encroached my eyes as I transferred the book to his lap. I knew this was a game changer. He would find all of his answers in that book. The why, the when, the how . . .
And the who.
I was ready for it. I’d prepared myself for months. But I wasn’t sure he was.
Blake’s face crumpled as he lay his hand on my knee. “You don’t have to do this, baby, and the fact that you’re willing to speaks volumes, trust me. But . . . that’s private.” Fear shone in his eyes, and I wasn’t sure if it was him trying to prove his respect for me or that he was scared of the story these pages told.
“Nothing is private anymore. Not with you. I’m ready to be an open book.” A faint smile tinged my lips as I fingered the edge of my journal. “So, here’s my book. I’m about done filling those pages anyhow.”
Blake’s words, when he had given me my new journal for Christmas, rang in my ears. When he’d told me he didn’t want to mingle our new happy memories with the heartache of my past. I was glad to be rid of the poison held in this book and start fresh in Blake’s journal once again.
Blake held the book in both hands, staring down at it with a hard set to his jaw. His unforgiving posture and lack of enthusiasm were not what I’d been expecting.
“What?” Worry wobbled my voice. I didn’t like how he looked.
“Huh?” I broke him of his reverie, and he glanced up at me. “Nothing. I just . . .” Blake trailed off, seeming unsure of how to continue.
“What is it?” I pressed, nerves crawling inside at what he was thinking.
“It’s just . . . Well, we only just got back together. It means the world to me that you’re trusting me with this, really it does, so I don’t want you to think I’m ungrateful or undeserving, but before we jump into the bad, I kind of want to focus on the good for a little bit. On the us. Fixing us.” He hesitated, searching my body language. I could tell by the worry plastered on his forehead he was scared that admitting that was fucked up of him, but truthfully, I was glad he said it.
I relaxed on an exhale. “Thank you.”
Blake’s eyebrows pulled in the center. “Thank me? For what?”
“Doing that. I want you to know everything, and if you choose to open that book, you will. But, I was worried about what doing that would stir up, as well. And whether or not we were ready for it just yet.”
Blake’s entire body deflated. “Oh, thank God.” He put the journal on the sheets beside him and tucked me into his side. “I just don’t want our focus to be on all that bad stuff just yet. L
et’s do us first. Unless . . .” Blake leaned back to inspect my face. “Unless you need to get it off your chest. Do you need to talk about it? Because then I’m here for you. I’m here for whatever you need.”
“No, it’s nothing like that,” I reassured him. “I’ve let it out a bunch. I’ve already begun to heal. I just needed my last piece.” I kissed him on the nose and let him know that was him.
“Okay, good. Because I also don’t know how I’ll react once I know who did this to you. I think I’ll need to be mentally prepared for that.” His slanted mouth caused his dimple to poke through his cheek.
I just nodded, hoping he didn’t notice the lapse in my breath or the color draining from my face. My pulse, damn it to hell, was betraying my healing and growth as it beat in double time at the idea of him knowing who it was. And what he would do once he did.
“Oh, hey,” Blake’s smile spread as a thought came to him, “I guess this means we’re going to Damon and Abby’s engagement party together now. I got the invitation last week.”
And then—it stopped.
“HOLD THAT PLANK, Eva. No slacking now that you’re back with your man.” Drew circled me, hands clasped behind his back, a smirk on his face. I got the feeling he was pushing me extra hard today. And I was fine with that.
A coat of moisture lined my body, exhaustion making itself known in my muscles, but I had this. Drew could sit on my back and I’d still hold my position. My brain and body were fine-tuned and on the same page for the first time since Damon walked into my bedroom all those years ago.
With my teeth bared, my lips slid into a smile. “I can do this all day. What else you got?”
Drew’s legs stopped in front of me. I craned my head and looked up. Still with his arms behind his back, his legs set in a wide part, he peered down at me as though he were sizing up how much he thought I could handle. Then, his eyebrows hardened. “Go get your gloves.”
I grinned and pulled my legs in. Hopping to my feet, I bounced and rolled my neck back and forth. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
Gloved, I bounced from foot to foot, never taking my eyes from Drew, who was doing the same thing in a more leisurely fashion. I’d never seen him so relaxed. It almost gave me the impression he was done going so hard on me. That maybe he thought I’d reached my peak and it was time to take it easy.
I moved in. I’ll liven him up.
Protecting my face, my ponytail swooshed over my back as I tried to goad him into picking up the pace. He merely stared, still creeping around me. I swung hard and fast at Drew’s jaw. He jutted his head back, dodging my punch before quickly returning one to my ribs. I buckled in from the sting of it, cradling my side as I looked up at him. He still bounced in a relaxed rhythm, and it sent a rush of fire sizzling into my veins. I straightened and came at him again, covering my face, trying to decide which body part to attack first, when he landed an uppercut to my jaw, spiraling me back to the floor. I shook my head, dispersing the ringing, and glared at him before rising back to my feet.
“What, are you mad at me or something?” I seethed, coming a bit closer to him than I should have but over-eager to hurt him back.
Whack!
The air whooshed as my back smacked onto the mat, my ankle throbbing where he’d kicked out my legs. “The fuck, Drew!”
He landed on top of me in a rush, squatting over my hips and pinning down my arms. My chest heaved, my heart pounding harder than ever as my eyes searched his face for any sign of my friend, for any clue that he wasn’t about to hurt me. He used his teeth to tear his gloves from his hand and covered my neck with a light squeeze, still pinning both of my arms with his other large paw.
“See this spot right here?” he spoke through his teeth, placing pressure with his thumb. A fuzz filtered into my head, making me woozy, my heart unsure of whether it wanted to speed up or lay down. “I’ve got you right where I want you.” His finger probed deeper, sending a spider web effect crackling through my periphery and my mouth opened as my head tilted back, though no sound emerged. “Never get cocky!” he yelled in my face, releasing me to sit back on his heels.
I gasped, sucking in air as I knocked him from my lap and sent distance between us. Coughing, my thoughts raged as I tried to gain composure and air. I had never seen him so intent on hurting me. The look in his eyes ran my blood cold.
He continued to study me, the instructor in him poking through his fury. “There’s a difference between cocky and confident, Eva. Confidence will give you the bounce you need to keep your head in the game. Cockiness will give him the upper hand to take you down.” He stabbed his finger at me, deadly threats beaming from his eyes as he vibrated. “Get it straight and don’t fuck it up.” He threw a towel at me and turned his back.
I patted the back of my neck, anger simmering into humbleness, feeling as though it were melting away the tension hardening my muscles, deflating me. “I thought I was being confident. I was proud of where I was at, that’s all.” My voice was small, abashed, and quivering.
“And that is what made that,” he pointed to the mat, “where you’re at. You’re dealing with someone who already knows all your weaknesses, Eva. The day you forget that is the day we’ll be peeling you back up off the floor.” His eyes trained on me with a passionate knowledge, unwavering and unapologetic.
I propped an arm on one bent knee, contemplating Drew’s words. The thought of Damon ever gaining control of me again sent a raging shudder through me. In my mind, I would never allow it. It wasn’t a possibility. So I’d relaxed a bit about it. I had forgotten what little choice in the matter I’d had the day he tried to take me forcefully. I gulped and gave a hard nod. No matter how conditioned Drew made me, I had to remember the physical strengths of a determined man.
The bell above the door chimed, indicating someone’s presence. Drew grabbed a towel from the floor and slung it over his shoulder without looking up. “We’re closed.”
A throat cleared. “I’m here to see her.”
Drew turned, pushing a thumb into his opposite palm as he addressed our visitor, his eyebrows set in a stern line. The tension between his eyes settled, but his jaw clenched as he dropped his hands. “Well, well, well. I do believe you’re the reason we’re still here.”
I twisted to find Blake hovering in the doorway. Pushing to my feet, I brushed the backs of my pants off. “You came.”
Blake’s cool gaze that was focused on Drew glided back to me and softened like a child seeing his parents returning to pick them up from school. I scooted over to him. He smiled down at me. “I told you I would. I was happy you wanted to give me a glimpse of what you’ve been doing all this time.” He wrapped his arms around me and dropped a kiss on my nose.
“I’m sweaty.” I squirmed.
“You’re sparkling.” His lips tapped mine in a quick peck before he tucked me under his arm and looked to Drew. I could practically see the hackles raised on the back of Drew’s neck like a cat.
Blake tensed beside me. Both guys seemed to be sizing each other up, unsure of what reaction they were going to get from the other. I stepped out of Blake’s arms and laced my fingers with his, urging him forward, but speaking to Drew. “I invited Blake to see how you torture me.” I smiled, trying to lighten the mood.
Drew’s eyes cut to mine, though his words were meant to cut into Blake. “Did you tell him you got your ass kicked because your head is in the clouds now?” His gaze bounced back to Blake. “She’s a bit too lacksey-daisy for my taste ever since you guys got back together.”
I looked up at Blake. “He’s being dramatic.” Then I looked at Drew, narrowing my eyes with a silent threat. “Message received. Now get the stick out of your ass and come play nice with my boyfriend once and for all, or we’re gonna roll around on that mat for real.” My look warned him I was only partially joking. I needed them to be friends. They were both too important to me.
Drew could have reacted a number of different ways, but I was pleased when a grin appe
ared on his face. “There’s the Eva I want to see.” He made his way over and stuck his hand in Blake’s direction. “Told you she loves you.”
A smile crept across Blake’s face, becoming wider and wider by the second. The tension in his grip on my hand relaxed before he clapped his free hand with Drew’s in a firm handshake. “Thanks, man. For taking care of my girl when I couldn’t. I was bitter about it at first until Jace reminded me ever so Jace-ly that it was what she needed.” Blake looked down at me, though his words were still for Drew. “Thanks for bringing her back to me.”
“She’s a good girl.” His voice was soft as it drifted to a pause. Then it hardened as he brought his line of sight back to Blake. “Treat her right, or I’ll have to use you as a test subject.” Drew outwardly smirked, but I caught the serious glint in his eyes.
“No worries there.” Blake tucked a few hairs behind my ear. “I’ll guard this girl till the day I die.”
Drew nodded, and in that quiet couple of seconds, a blanket of comfortability seemed to drape over the three of us as the unspoken tension ebbed away and something normal appeared. Blake acknowledging the strength in our relationship status and the friendship between Drew and me. Drew solidifying his role in my life—protector and friend—and stepping back to allow me and Blake our happiness.
“I think we’re done for today.” I brushed a piece of lint from Blake’s shirt.
“That’s too bad.” Blake frowned, genuinely disappointed. “I wanted to witness you in action.”
Drew’s smile turned cunning. “Oh, I think we have time for one more throw down. What do you say, Sunshine? You game?”
His cocky-ass grin spoke to my inner lioness. No way was he backing me down.
“I’m always ready to shut your smartass mouth up. Game on, Rainbow.” I clapped my hands together and hopped from foot-to-foot, cracking my neck.
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