“Ingredients?” I added.
“Ginger ale.” She sucked.
I watched the beige liquid travel up the clear center until it was in her mouth. “And . . .”
“There might be a Remy in there.” She winked. “Or a Jack. Or a Jameson. I forgot his name.” She giggled.
“Just don’t get sick, okay?” I chuckled at her cuteness. “I’ve got my hands full tonight.”
“Aye-Aye, Captain.” Jessie saluted. “Hey, that’s his name. I remember!” She giggled again and sucked in another sip.
I scanned the crowd. “Have you seen Eric around? Abby?”
“Eric split a while ago looking pissed.” She widened her eyes and made a grand gesture with her hands, exaggerating her story. “He popped the tab of a fresh beer and left, and I haven’t seen him since.” She craned her neck, searching the room. “I thought I saw Abby not that long ago. She’s . . . yeah, there she is.” She nudged her chin toward the far edge of the room. Damon had his back to the wall, sucking down a drink in one hand while the other rested at the base of Abby’s spine, bordering her ass as she swayed against him.
“Dance with us!” Sandra exclaimed, her hand still laced behind Jeremy’s neck as she leaned over to grab my arm. I looked at Abby and Damon once again just as she placed a kiss on the side of his neck. I turned with a cringe, not wanting to witness any more of their make-up session.
I started to slow bop with my head, easing into it as Blake leaned into my ear. “Be right back. I’m gonna grab us some drinks.”
Jessie scooped up one of my hands, commencing the familiar ‘girl-dance’—arms locked and raised above our heads, bodies swaying, hands rocking side to side. Both of us wore similar euphoric smiles as I allowed the music in. It always electrified and calmed me, even the deepest of beats, parading happy endorphins through me and spicing up any bland that I had with its immediate high. A beast inside stirred, awakening—a fierceness dancing on each beat—and I closed my eyes, absorbing the rhythm.
Smiling so wide my cheeks ached, I swayed, not caring about anything but enjoying this. Letting all my worries of Damon, Abby, anything melt into the next verse, smashing it away with each rock of my hips.
A school bell rang, then a clapping beat took over the sound system, and I immediately recognized Zara Larrson’s Ain’t My Fault. I jumped up and down. “I love this song!”
And when Zara’s cute little giggle rang out, excitement rushed through me. In a bopping, rocking swagger, my hips started moving, my shoulders ticking in time to the beat.
Familiar fingertips ran the length of my back, a firm abdomen riding a path until it was pressed flush against me. Blake’s cologne coiled around me as his hand traveled the column of my throat, his heated touch taking my jaw to tip my head back to his shoulder. He rocked with me, a prickling heat set loose throughout my body at the possessive yet adoring way he always held me. His thumb landed on my parted lips, resting his taste there, then dragged down to hook my chin, opening my mouth before trickling a warm liquid into it.
I sucked it down, loving the tingles it added, feeling its zing of playfulness. His heat engulfed me, his thin, warm shirt pressed against my partially bare back, exciting me. I whirled around, wanting to enjoy this moment like two regular young people in love. Wanting him to know he was it for me and how fucking hot he was. My hands landed on his pecs, the hardness beneath them fueling me as my eyes found his. The intensity they held was stronger than I’d ever seen and I knew he was feeling it, too. The finality of the bullshit. The pull of us and the ‘fuck-the-world’ attitude that was crawling up me so fast I could barely contain it.
Though our bodies kept their calculated movement, our eyes were locked on one another’s. We moved in tandem—fun, playful, seductive. Bodies crouched, I sang in his face, and he sang back in mine, his dimple in full bloom—up and down, back and forth, together.
When the chorus began, I sang straight at him, telling him how irresistible he was, that I couldn’t be responsible for what I did to him. With the clap of the beat of the chorus, I began jumping up and down. Arms in the air, I had fun with it until I came down off the beat. He slid his leg between mine, bucking his hips. He read me, rocking with me, dancing across each exciting note.
The show kept on, people gathering to watch, but we were immune to the stares and screams around us. My hands roamed his body, riding his dips and sways. Singing to him about how good he looked, I flicked his collar, my touch dragging over his broad shoulders, his dimple broadening in response. Blake shivered as my hands roamed lower, grazing every bump of his abdomen before hooking into the top of his jeans and yanking his pelvis toward me so that his body was flush with mine. I danced my fingers back up until the smooth skin of his face was beneath them. I combed them through his hair, then moved them to clasp his hands within my own just as the next chorus began.
In a bold move, I directed his hands along the curves of my body, bordering indecent as I hung my head back and swayed my hips. I dragged his hands along every bend in my body, past the round mounds of my breasts to the hourglass of my torso. Blake’s eyes followed his hands, wide and hungry, fueling me further until I laid them to rest on my ass while she sang about them going where my eyes couldn’t see. His head dropped to the crook of my neck, his teeth digging in to place a love bite there, and I wrapped my arms around his head, swaying as one body.
When I opened my eyes, they locked on Damon’s disturbed stare. Abby still swayed in front of him, playfully trying to dance, but he was looking past her, over her head, straight at me. Instead of the fright that usually came, though, I merely laughed mockingly and mouthed in time to the music, shrugging my shoulder. “It ain’t my fault.” And a heated blaze seemed to shoot from his flared nostrils. Not far from where he stood, I excited at the smirk on Drew’s face as he watched me. I sent him a wink, hoping to keep him calm and reassured I would be okay.
As the song drew out in slower time, I lost myself in Blake again, in the moment, in the sway, the rhythm, the love, the strength. A knowing glitter danced in Blake’s eyes, and he intentionally scrunched up his nose, a movement he had mastered that was so incredibly hot, I had told him as much on our first date. Excitement rushed through my veins not having seen it in such a long time, knowing without a doubt that we were back. Before I knew it, I was off my feet, and Blake had me in the air, his hands under my arms as he held me suspended above him. I looked down into the most adoring, most loving set of eyes I’d ever seen, and I had never felt so cherished, so truly loved as he circled, holding me. In a quicker spin, my legs swung out, and I threw my head back with a laugh, love swirling through me as he lowered me back to the floor.
As if he couldn’t wait any longer to taste me, his tongue pushed between my lips, the vibrations of me singing into his mouth as we picked the pace back up. We ended the song playfully—breaking apart to brush our shoulders, bopping circling each other. I ignored the heat searing into the side of my head from across the room. I knew what I just did. It was all done on purpose.
Blake grabbed me tightly around my waist, pulling me in to kiss me deeply, claiming me, loving how open and free we were with each other now. I returned his kiss, letting the rest of the world melt away. This was how I would live my life now. Free from fear. Free to love and be loved. Free of him.
When Blake rested his head back in the crook of my neck to suckle the warm skin there, I allowed my eyes to drift to Damon in a final farewell. A final send off.
Though my mouth didn’t move, my eyes spoke volumes.
Fuck. You.
4:37
I squinted at the bright red numbers on the bedside clock, trying to focus, but my eyes felt like they were stuck together with glue. Apparently, I hadn’t been sleeping long, but I must have fallen down hard. Lying on my stomach, I mashed my fingertips into my forehead and sighed. Tomorrow—today would be rough. Already it seemed there was a trail of gunk behind my sinuses, and my mouth felt like an entire sack of cotton balls had
been stuffed inside.
I rolled onto my side and was met by Blake’s warm skin. No matter what the temperature was, he always radiated heat like a small ray of sun. Even through his slow, even breaths, he instinctively reached out, cupping my waist to pull me closer. Wearing only a pair of underwear, I hooked a bare leg over his waist and settled comfortably into his embrace, feeling his warmth coat my nipples. With the soft light of the moon a cloak over our mingled bodies, I almost fell back into a peaceful slumber in the timed rhythm of his breaths. I dozed off a few more minutes, but I couldn’t ignore the nagging dehydration that was parching me senseless.
I tried to slip away, but Blake tightened his hold with an adorable grunt, letting me know that he wasn’t as asleep as I had thought. I huffed a light laugh and traced the outline of his strong jaw. “I need a drink before I die. I forgot to leave one on the nightstand. Be right back.” I inched up and kissed the edge of his nose, relishing in the slow smile that crept across his face, though he never fully opened his eyes.
How’d I get so lucky?
I wondered this over and over, but I didn’t think I would ever find the answer. I tried as best as I could to recall the end of the night as I slipped Blake’s T-shirt over my head. Knowing the house was still full, I opted against leaving the room in just a shirt and underwear and slipped my legs into a pair of his sweatpants as well. He was so much taller than me that the extra fabric bunched beneath my feet and only the tips of my toes peeked out from them. I smiled as I looked down, wiggling my little pink piggies and thinking Blake would love the sight of this. It was a comforting and protective feeling, as though I were actually wearing him.
I closed the door behind me with a soft click. The house was much quieter now. Eerily silent knowing how many people still remained. I guessed I wasn’t the only one who had crashed hard.
Reaching the top step, my palm fell to the banister and then I tensed. Hackles raised along the back of my neck as my mind immediately went to Abby. I glanced behind my shoulder to the closed door, staring at it a few seconds. Tracing my steps back in that direction, I bunched the pants into my hands as I approached on my tiptoes. Hearing no sound still, I moved closer and pressed my ear against it, listening closely when a loud snore ripped through the room. I rolled my head until my forehead rested against the wood, a long, slow sigh leaving my lips. Good.
Feeling more relaxed knowing they were sleeping everything off, I quietly stepped the rest of the way to the kitchen.
What a wreck.
Remnants of the previous night lay strewn about the foyer in a scattered mess. Somehow, a buzz from the music which pumped so loudly still lingered in the air from the deejay equipment which sat abandoned now. Stepping over discarded cans and red cups, I decided not to allow myself the anxiety of looking around. Blake did this every year, so I trusted he had a way of easily righting it again.
The bare skin of my feet met the cool tile, sending a chill up my body. I rubbed away the little bumps traveling up the tops of my arms and then covered my mouth with the back of my hand as a yawn escaped. Through the large picture windows lining the kitchen, the sky was turning a husky shade of off-black, signaling that the sun would be waking up soon.
I opened the refrigerator, searching for a bottle of water, but all I could find was beer and some cheese cubes. Guess we’ll be shopping today, too.
The dry in my throat was unbearable. With another yawn, I moved to the cabinet, searching for a glass. I filled it with water from the tap and sucked down half of it in hearty gulps. Once the urge was sated, I slowed down and rested my hip against the counter to finish the rest.
The kitchen overlooked the back of the house. Hidden in the darkness were rolling green fields mingling with courts for sports and the pool. The sun began to poke her head through the grayed darkness, an orange hue sneaking into the skyline. A smile spread across my face. I had missed so many of these lately, and that only meant one thing.
I was happy.
Rays of light bled into the dark, illuminating the grounds little by little. My smile grew in a returned good morning to my old friend as she greeted me over a very different landscape than I was used to. My smile widened as I caught myself dazzling in a daydream, where Blake was mine forever, and we were raising a family and living out our dream as husband and wife, leaving the rest of the world and our heavy pasts behind us. My life was about to change. I could just feel it.
But then I felt something else.
Something hard poking me in the backside while a firm grip tightened at my hip. The remainder of the sunrise whirled like a kaleidoscope as I spun, praying I’d be looking into a pair of baby blues when I knew, without a doubt, that I wouldn’t be. My body was all too familiar with the ice that ran through my veins at this touch. The stench of what I would ultimately see was the second thing to hit me. I’d never seen hatred with such a distinct look as I did when my wide eyes found the dirt brown color of his.
Though my chest was heaving, he barely moved a muscle—his calm, a stark contrast to the banging beneath my ribs. This was normal for him, like air. He the quiet predator, and me the shaking prey. A twitch of a smirk hit his lips, and I instinctively retreated a step, but it only pressed my back against the counter behind me. With a racing heart, I tried not to panic. Instead, I was gathering my bearings, taking inventory of my surroundings.
The room was cast in contradiction, the bright light of the sun just coming awake, meeting the shadows of the setting moon. I allowed myself an internal laugh at the irony of how it so closely mirrored my existence. How fitting a setting it was. I had danced amongst the shadows my whole life, maneuvering through the gray areas just to get by. It was home to me, comfortable. I had lived in this space, owned it for so long. It was time to make it mine.
I crossed my arms over my chest. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Damon?” I used the quietest voice I could spit out at him.
He remained still, the only movement was his arm as he took a swig of beer. After he swallowed, his tongue came up to cover his top teeth. He sucked back the liquid with a distasteful click, eyeing me like I was poison. The pause and lack of response so unlike him, it skidded a chill down my spine.
Something’s off.
Instinctively, I tried to step back once again, but the back of my heel hit the cabinet. Though the beats of my heart seemed to be racing each other for freedom, I huffed, trying to seem bored by his game as I rolled my eyes and pushed off the counter to shoulder past him. I needed space. This spot that he had closed me into feeling as though it were constricting, creeping into me from the outside in. My shoulder banged into his chest, trying to shove him aside, but bounced back off of it as though it was cement rather than flesh. “Get. Out. Of. My. Way.” I tried to appear calm, in control.
Strong.
Even though I wanted out of this situation, I couldn’t let him see my panic. I wasn’t his defenseless lamb anymore. I was a lion. A warrior.
He took a step closer and the lip of the counter bit into my back. I gripped it on either side to steady myself. Blake and Abby are both resting peacefully upstairs. I pulled all my inner strength into my center as my eyes dragged to the beer bottle dangling from Damon’s fingers.
“Binging again, I see? We both know how well that went over last time.” I gulped back the memory, knowing that I had been the one who’d bared the worst part of that episode.
He took a long pull from the bottle, then smacked his lips together. “Yep. Couldn’t resist.” He leaned in. “Your pussy feels so much better on the inside when I got a buzz going.”
The water I had just consumed bubbled up my throat, but I couldn’t give away the shake in my belly. I steadied my voice, not biting into that comment. Knowing I would be dead before he was ever able to touch me again fueled my strength.
I straightened my shoulders, needing some height since he towered mere inches from me. “You need to go to bed.”
“Nope.” His eyes glistened with the eff
ects of the alcohol.
“Well, I’m going to bed.” I tried more forcefully to shoulder past him, but his firm grip wrapped around my arm, his fingertips indenting my flesh.
“Nope,” he snarled, so sure of himself. The smell of liquor, stale and new rested on the breath that landed on my lips. My stomach rolled, but I didn’t recoil as I stared into the most evil set of eyes I’d ever seen. Dark and daring and partially hooded as if completely turned on by violating me. But they also swam with malice, equally as turned on by the thought of causing me pain.
Get away from him. He’s not right.
“Let go of me.” I yanked my arm back, but that only made him clench harder to keep his hold. My heart raced faster. The sound of blood banged in my ears as his lips moved closer still, only a whisper away from mine. Right before they made contact, his face swept to the side of my head. His hot breath covered my ear as he breathed the most terrifying word once again. The only word he needed tonight. The word that held all the promise in the world of what he intended to do.
“Nope.”
As strong as I was trying to be, I couldn’t help the shake that rolled over me. “We aren’t alone right now, you sick fuck. Do you realize what you’re doing? Everyone will know.”
Then . . . the game changed.
All hope I’d had of leaving this situation vanished like a puff of a cloud.
His face emerged back into view as slowly as the rising sun, which now almost completely warmed the kitchen, making it even easier to see the complete state of undone he was in. His clothes hung disheveled, his hair a tattered mess, but his face . . .
His face was so certain, so sure, so unconcerned with my words as a devilish grin emerged.
“We’ve never been alone, beautiful. That’s the beauty of it. I’ve always taken you right . . . under . . . their . . . noses.” He tapped my nose at each of those words and my body jolted in response. That earned a deeper smile. “Made you squirm in silence.”
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