“Tell me why you want to be a part of this unit.”
Because I need to get away from my current post before I destroy more lives.
“I want the opportunity to serve, sir.”
“What exactly do you know about this unit, Sergeant?”
“Not much. Just that it’s highly irregular because it’s special ops but isn’t using Delta or other Special Forces. In fact, they were purposely excluded.”
He raised a brow and she suppressed a smile. She had done her homework, called in every favor she had to get information on both the unit and the man running it.
“Glad you know the difference between special ops and Special Forces. I’m aware that you tried out for Delta—this won’t be your ticket in.”
Forcing herself to sit still, she met his gaze. “I’m aware of that, sir. Having been through SFAS, I’m familiar with the process.” Special Forces Assessment and Selection was the pathway to Delta and other Special Forces, and she had been hoping this unit might be a way in. She leaned forward. He was gearing up to tell her she hadn’t made the cut.
“Sir, when I went through SFAS, I passed the physical portion of the test with a perfect score. I was disqualified because I’d been a sergeant for five years and two days.”
He pressed his lips together and hope bloomed in her chest. It was a silly rule, that five years in the same position disqualified someone from Special Forces. She should’ve been promoted two years ago, but after the incident, there had always been an excuse for why she wasn’t fit to be upgraded to staff sergeant. Next year, Parrino. Let some time pass. This unit was the only way she would get herself out of the career hole she’d dug herself into.
“I’m thirty-five years old and the upper limit for Special Forces is thirty-six. I am special ops material, and this is my only chance at it.” Staring at him, she silently challenged him to disagree. She’d bet a month’s pay that the guy she’d just fought was the best of the unit. He had been good, and there were a few times where he’d almost had her. Almost. It had been a while since she’d had to bring up the image of her father to get the better of a man in a physical fight, but she’d done it. She’d had to. Alessa Parrino didn’t get second chances.
He sat back in his seat and his eyes flicked to a folder on his desk. She knew what was in that file and could see his gears churning. Part of her training was to get into her opponent’s head, and she was sure Luke Williams was weighing the risk of bringing her baggage into his unit.
She placed her elbows on the desk. “Sir, have you ever done the right thing even when it was against the rules?” She knew the answer to that question. Luke was notorious in the army circles. A general father and an identical twin brother with a stellar reputation while his was less than perfect was fodder for gossip. He was the evil twin, the one tarnishing his father’s reputation.
She had served with his brother when she was a private first class and Ethan Williams was a second lieutenant. Officers and enlisted didn’t mix, but she always took stock of the commanding officers on post and her assessment of Ethan Williams was that he was a rising star. His good looks had been hard to ignore and the fact that he had an identical twin who was an outrageous flirt had been a common source of discussion in the female barracks. As had Luke Williams’s penchant for bending the rules. She had done so much research, she felt she knew him personally. Remember he’s a superior officer. The last thing she needed was to get friendly with him.
“Sergeant, I get the feeling you’ve done your homework on me, and you know full well what’s in your file. So how about you give me some facts I haven’t already read about.”
She dug her fingernails into her palms. “Sir, I have nothing to hide. What would you like to know?”
“Your file doesn’t have much on your childhood. Tell me about your parents.”
She swallowed, trying to open her closed throat. She didn’t have to answer any of his questions. It was none of his business what her childhood was like. It wasn’t any of the army’s business.
“My parents were Italian immigrants—they came over newly married. I have a younger sister. Just a typical family.” Somehow she’d managed to make her voice sound normal. Maybe it was the years of practice with that line.
He narrowed his eyes. “How often do you see them?”
She forced herself to meet his eyes. Most people tried to control the pitch of their voice when they lied, but it was shifting eyes that gave them away. “As often as I can.” It was best to go with half-truths.
“When was the last time?” His startling blue eyes bored into her and she blinked. When she’d first seen his picture, she’d found herself unable to look away. In person she wanted nothing more than to avoid eye contact.
“Sir, I’m the most qualified person for this position, and if you’re hesitating because of what’s in that file, let me assure you—”
“Sergeant, I’m going to give you some advice.”
She closed her mouth, making a concerted effort to keep her expression neutral. Ever since the incident, every commissioned officer she’d met had felt the need to lecture her on appropriate behavior, as if she were a truant toddler. Never mind the fact that she’d already been in more combat than most West Point graduates would ever see. She composed herself so she wouldn’t gag when Luke gave her the tired old speech about how she could have an illustrious career if she kept her nose clean and made sure she didn’t engage in any more inappropriate behavior with a superior officer.
“If you haven’t done anything wrong, don’t sound apologetic.”
This is new. She sat up straighter.
“If there’s nothing concerning in my file, then why aren’t you selecting me?”
He raised a brow, his blue eyes sparking with a hint of gray. “I haven’t said that I’m not.”
Her pulse kicked up a notch until she saw his Adam’s apple bob. The job wasn’t hers. Not yet.
“Let me tell you why I’m right for this position.”
His lips twitched.
“First, I just beat the best man on your unit. Second, if you’re going to operate in the Middle East or Asia, you’ll need a woman to get into places men can’t. And third, I’m smaller than everyone else in your unit. I can get into tight places, like a duct, a crawlspace or a vent. You need me.”
“You missed something.”
She leaned forward. He picked up her file and waved it. “You’ve beat every single one of my men in the aptitude tests.”
That little fact she hadn’t known but would store away for later. He stood and she followed suit. He extended his hand and she was surprised to find it callused. From what she’d heard, she’d expected a man used to giving orders, not doing the hard work himself.
“Sergeant, you are the most qualified for this unit...”
She tried hard not to smile. Finally, an officer who wasn’t afraid of her reputation, who was going to do the right thing and give her what she rightfully deserved.
“...but I can’t give you the job.”
CHAPTER TWO
HER MOUTH DROPPED open and Luke couldn’t help but smirk. Sergeant Parrino was cool as a cucumber. This was the first genuine expression he’d seen on her face. She wanted this. Bad. And she deserved to have it. It sickened him to give in to the old colonel, but he didn’t have a choice. They were so close to shipping out on their first assignment. Rodgers was already working on the logistics. No matter how much he wanted to give her a proper position, he couldn’t defy the colonel. As loath as Luke was to admit it, he was being watched and needed to appease the brass if he wanted to keep command of the unit. Right now, he had to focus on preparing for the mission.
Wait...
“Sergeant, before you go, what’re your current duties?”
If she was surprised at the non sequitur, she
didn’t show it. She explained the work she was doing in Kuwait and an idea formed in his head. A win-win for both of them.
“There’s another opening on the unit.”
Her eyes widened with expectation.
“Logistics.”
Predictably, her face fell. But before she could tell him that wasn’t the job she’d applied for, he motioned her back toward the chair.
“I know it’s not what you want, but hear me out. Take a seat.”
She sat, her face already recomposed into a blank expression. Unflappable. There weren’t many individuals he would describe that way since he was an expert at pushing people’s buttons. The assessment had been designed by Ethan and when Luke had first read the protocol, he’d lamented his brother’s sadistic nature. It required twenty-four hours of travel the day before the in-person tests. When Rodgers had been selected, he’d been located three hours away, but Ethan had put him on a plane and sent him to California and back twice. Ethan’s rationale had been characteristically thoughtful: after all, they might be forced to fly to the other side of the world and hit the ground running. He’d wanted soldiers who could handle it, and Luke couldn’t disagree with that. Parrino was the first soldier Luke had found standing in his office at the end of the day. The rest of them had been plopped into the seat gulping water.
“The position is going to be more than logistics. I can’t give you the details yet, but trust me on this.”
She blinked at him with a maddeningly blank look.
“What do you mean by more than logistics? Are you going to have me spy inside the team?”
Add “perceptive” to the list of qualifications. He tilted his head. “I wouldn’t put it that way. There’s work to do where information needs to be compartmentalized, and I need someone I can trust.” It was a nicer way of saying “off the books.”
“But if my official designation is logistics, it does nothing to get me promoted. In fact, most will see it as a step backward, like I’m being punished.”
“Initially, yes, but at the end of your tour with this unit, I will reveal the true nature of the assignment. Barring any performance issues, I will recommend you for promotion.” Provided Colonel Blowhard keeps me on as unit command.
“And what if something happens to you?”
What if I die like Ethan? She didn’t have to say it out loud. He was all too aware of the risks. Then it occurred to him: he’d be putting her life in danger, too. He shook it off. She was a soldier, she had signed up to take risks, and he’d give her a full briefing. If she wanted out at that point, he’d let her go.
She won’t want out. He could see it in her eyes despite her bland expression. She was looking for adventure, a way to fill whatever hole there was in her life.
“As unit command, there are any number of things that only I’m privy to. There are files my commanding officer will receive should something happen to me. Details of your operations will be in those files.”
“They’ll be the first ones Colonel McBride burns.”
Luke couldn’t help but smile. He and Sergeant Parrino were going to get along well. She had no history with the colonel, but she’d gotten a good measure of the man in just a few minutes. That’s what he needed, someone with judgment who could take care of herself.
“That’s a risk you’ll have to accept. Look, what do you have to lose? Besides, part of your job will be to keep me safe, so how about we call it added incentive?”
Her brow went up slightly and he swore a smile was tugging on the corners of her mouth.
“What’s the assignment?”
“Not so fast. To become a member of the unit, you need to sign some additional confidentiality agreements. These are beyond the army standard. I need to let you know that it’s serious business. If you talk in your sleep and your boyfriend gets details of our missions, you won’t be court-martialed and put through the ringer—big, bad men will come in the middle of the night and ship you straight to Gitmo.”
She reached out and plucked one of the pens from the holder on his desk. Clicking it, she tilted her chin. “I don’t talk in my sleep and I don’t have a boyfriend. I’ve faced worse than Gitmo. Where do I sign?”
What horrors are you hiding in your past? He wanted to know more, but she’d told him all she would for now. Turning to the computer, he pulled up the paperwork. Several minutes later, he plucked the forms off the printer and handed them to her.
“I suggest you read these carefully. There’s a bathroom behind that door if you need it.” He was done testing her. She was the toughest soldier he knew, but there was something about her that was bothering him, and he couldn’t place his finger on it.
He stopped at the door. “Parrino, I don’t care about what’s in your file. But this is the kind of assignment that needs complete focus. No distractions. Before you transfer over, I’m going to require you to take a one-week leave. You can have more if you need it. In that time, you deal with whatever ghosts you have in your past. Once the unit is operational, you’re totally mine.”
* * *
ALESSA TOOK A breath after he left. It was hard to remain calm when he looked at her with those intense blue eyes.
She signed the papers in less than five minutes. She read them quickly, but it didn’t matter what they said. Her life already belonged to the army. There were no other options for her. She didn’t have a college degree, had enlisted the day she graduated from high school, so she wouldn’t have to spend another day at home. This unit was the only way to make sure she didn’t get squeezed out.
Expecting Lieutenant Williams back any second, she used the restroom and took a long drink of water from the faucet. She washed her face and used a paper towel to dry it. The physical exertion she’d gone through was nothing compared to the sheer relief of not having to return to Kuwait. The papers she’d signed said her transfer was effective immediately. Maybe with her gone, Aidan Connors could finally move on with his life. After the incident, she’d thought things would die down in a few months and both of them could forget about it. But that hadn’t happened. They were based at Camp Arifjan in Kuwait. It was a relatively small installation with no life off the camp. The story had lingered on, grown additional arms and legs and wrapped around her and Aidan until neither one of them could escape it. She’d been warned about Williams and could see why. He had a way of pulling you in, making you feel like he was on your side. Just like Aidan.
Returning to her seat, she waited, curious to hear what secret stuff Williams had for her. Truth be told, she would’ve taken the logistics job even without the added intrigue. Since the incident, she’d been relegated to desk assignments that included mounds of paperwork. She’d lost track of how many transfers she’d applied for and been denied.
The lieutenant returned with two steaming cups of coffee in his hand. He placed one in front of her and pushed the bottle of water toward her. She picked up the coffee, eager for the caffeine.
“Before we get started, I need to know everything about you.”
Keeping her face neutral, she spread her hands. “I don’t think there’s anything the army doesn’t know about me. My file even documents the birthmark I have on my hip.”
“It also documents bones that you broke as a child.”
Her mouth went dry but she nodded, smiling disarmingly.
“It’s a lot of bones for a little girl to break” he said carefully.
“What can I say; I was always a tomboy.”
But Luke wasn’t buying it. Brows knotted, he leaned forward. “I need to know who did it to you.” His voice was hard and Alessa took a sip of her coffee, letting it burn down her throat, trying to loosen the frog lodged in it. There was only one other person she’d told. After years of serving together and becoming good friends. And that didn’t turn out so well. She hardly knew Williams. Could she t
rust him?
“This is just between us—it doesn’t go in the file. In order for this job to work, we need to trust each other. Right now, I need to know you can tell me the truth and you need to believe that the information won’t end up in your file.”
She searched his eyes for signs of malice but all he gave her was an intense, serious look that was completely inconsistent with his golden-blond hair and Ken-doll handsomeness.
“If you can’t trust me, this won’t work.”
She needed this transfer. I just have to say enough to appease him. But then she made the mistake of looking at him, and something told her she wouldn’t get away with a lie. “My father. He was a drunk and a hitter.”
He nodded as if it was the answer he expected. For a second, Alessa wondered whether he’d already known and was still testing her. He took a sip of his coffee and she noticed that his other hand was clenched in a fist.
“When did he stop hitting you?” His voice held the slight tremble of suppressed anger and Alessa’s heart warmed. When she’d told Aidan, he had been sympathetic and coddling. It hadn’t been the response she’d wanted.
“When I started hitting him back.”
“That’s why you got a black belt in karate.”
“And tae kwon do.”
“Is the rest of your family safe?”
It was the first time someone had asked the question and Alessa wasn’t sure how to answer. More than anything she wished it could be a simple yes. “My sister is. She’s finally decided to go to law school. I’m paying her way as much as I can so she doesn’t have to move home. My mother refuses to leave. I’ve tried to get her out.” That was the simplest response she could give.
“Would you like to pay your father a visit?”
The menace in his voice was oddly comforting, and she longed to tell him that was exactly what she wanted. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t thought about it herself, but it wasn’t her place to save her mother. She had tried several times, given her mother all the resources she needed to get out, but the woman refused. She was a devout Catholic and didn’t want to leave her husband. Alessa was tired of going home and cataloguing new bruises. It had been a year since she’d seen her mother. Five since she’d laid eyes on her father. He was getting older and weaker. That’s what her mother said, anyway, but his heart was just as dark.
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