The men on the porch did not seem to hear him. Howard Knight was saying, “Naw. A forty-four? Now at’s a gun, by gawd. I had me a sixty-six oncet, but the dang thang blowed up on me. I useta hunt buffalo with it.”
Geneva raced into the house to collect her purse, but on her way out, she hesitated, then stopped to look at John full in the face, trying to read his thoughts. “Will you take care of the horses?” she asked, her eyes begging him to forgive her. She remembered his recent kisses and blushed. But she felt the odd sensation that Howard Graves had some sort of claim on her and that she owed him at least one conversation now that he had driven all this way…
“At yer service, little lady,” John said grandly. “Anythang yer sweet li’l heart wants is all yorn.”
Wayne was boasting, “That’s nothin’. I got a eighty-eight, but Rachel made me put it away after we got married. You know these women. They say they like a man with a big gun, but once they get ahold of you, they never let you show it off to anybody.”
“Yep. There’s no figurin’ women,” nodded Howard Knight sagely. “And then, no matter how big yer gun is, they allus run after the men with the sissy car.”
Fighting the urge to laugh, Geneva slipped into the Jag and inserted the key into the ignition. But she made the mistake of glancing once more at the three men on the porch and nearly hooted at the sight. They had draped their arms around each other’s shoulders and stood silently, a picture of cultural solidarity, looking at her with mock mournfulness. It was all she could do to keep from blowing them a kiss. But she turned her attention to the man who sat beside her, then started the quiet, powerful engine and drove away.
Her initial shock at seeing Howard had ebbed, and now she was angry with herself for becoming weak-kneed at the sight of him. In turn, her anger directed toward him. She drove in stony silence, waiting for him to speak.
“God, what a couple of rubes,” he said, eyeing Geneva carefully. “So that’s who you’ve been hanging out with while you’ve been here.”
Geneva had no patience with him. “What are you doing here, Howard?” she asked sharply.
“I told you. I’ve come to take you back home. Geneva, you can’t imagine how miserable I’ve been without you. And I’m sorry about all that I did and said.” He laid his hand on her shoulder, but she pushed it off. Her anger was genuine, but she was not inclined to stop his words, for despite her disgust, she rather enjoyed hearing him apologize so prettily.
“I know you’re mad as hell, Geneva, and I don’t blame you, but really, I never intended for us to break up. I just wanted to back off for a little while, so we could be sure. You know, marriage is a big step, and I was feeling a little closed in. I just wanted some space for awhile, to see if what we had was real.”
“Oh, right,” groaned Geneva. “And that’s why you wanted to date other people, and why you left and haven’t called me for six months. That’s an awful lot of space, Howard.”
“Geneva, if you remember, you threw me out of your apartment and told me that if I ever darkened your door again you’d yank my teeth right out of my head. I believe those were your exact words.” He flashed a flirtatious little smile at her. “Now, sweetheart, as much as I love you, I don’t cherish losing my teeth, not after suffering through three years of braces.”
Geneva remembered the words she had uttered, but she found it hard to believe that Howard had actually been intimidated by them. She did not soften. “So what made you change your mind? Did you suddenly decide you could fight me off if I attacked you?”
“Oh, I guess you could say I got over being too proud to come crawling back. Geneva, I really am sorry. Come back. Marry me. I love you.” He looked out the window. “Okay, maybe it took me six months to get myself sorted out and to realize that I really do need you. This isn’t easy for me, you know.”
They had been driving on the high ridge that she and John had traveled the night of their theater date in Tucker. Geneva found a wide place and pulled over to the shoulder. She stopped the car and glared at Howard. For a moment she thought about how happy she had been with him, and how much she had looked forward to their life together: a life sparkling with success and glamor, but before long she found herself examining Howard’s nose and deciding that the nostrils were, indeed, somewhat large. There was a long silence while she studied him.
“What are you looking at?” asked Howard.
“Oh, nothing,” replied Geneva, blushing. “I was just thinking about how happy we could have been…” and suddenly, she began to cry, remembering the hurt that Howard had caused and how much she had loved him. And more than that, she grieved over the realization that the hurt he had caused her also meant that the joy they might have had together was forever and irretrievably lost. It was too sad to comprehend, all that love just tossed away, left in the gutter to languish and die.
At first her tears were pretty little shimmering drops sitting in her eyes, causing them to sparkle, but then they ran down her face in earnest torrents, and her nose began to run so that she had to cry into her hands and hope Howard would give her a handkerchief.
He did not have one, and seemed as distressed by that fact as she. She hated to cry like this in front of somebody. It made her face all red and puffy, and besides, she was sure the mascara was running. She couldn’t face Howard like this, all running and smeared. At last she wiped her nose on her sleeve, and sniffling, waving away Howard’s attempts to embrace her, dug deep into her purse for a tissue.
It was one of those bottomless purses that held so much that it was unnecessary to ever clean it out. Things simply collected in there and sank to the bottom if they were infrequently used. Geneva knew she had some Kleenex in there somewhere, but in her distracted and blinded state, she failed to find any even after several moments of rummaging.
Still sobbing, eyes and nose running, Geneva finally turned the purse upside down and dumped its contents in her lap. Yes, there was one—a little tattered and lipstick smeared, but serviceable. She blew her nose on it then used a remaining dry corner to wipe off the mascara that had run down her cheeks. Then, after checking the mirror to make sure she looked all right, she faced Howard again.
“I don’t know, Howard,” she began, after drawing a long, shuddering breath. “I really think it’s too late for us.”
“Don’t say that, darling, please. You’re hurt and angry. I’ve thought a lot about this, and I know we can make things right between us again. Don’t say anything now, but just give it some time.” He looked so forlorn and miserable that Geneva felt herself softening a little. She remembered again how much she had loved him, and for the sake of that, she wanted to give him a chance, but she felt confused, and somewhere in the back of her mind a little voice said, Do you really want this man to be the father of your children? They might all have noses just like his.
She began filling her purse, shaking her head and repeating, “Oh, Howard, I don’t know. I’ve been pretty happy here, and I think that maybe I don’t want to go back to DC.”
“What do you mean, you don’t want to go back? Don’t you miss everyone? Don’t you miss your job? What can you possibly find here to keep you occupied? There’s absolutely nothing here! Just look at it!” He gestured at the empty air before him, and Geneva followed his instructions and looked.
The rain clouds that had threatened her and John on the mountain a few hours earlier had rolled away, and now the sky was a clear, perfect, dazzling blue, the color of the sky in storybooks, and the sun, which had begun to think about setting, had turned the air around them into a hazy, golden gauze, gentling around them and gilding the wings of a whole flock of monarch butterflies that bedecked a crop of purple thistles. In this light they looked like jeweled brooches. Far below them a hawk wafted lazily over a warm air current, circling in a long, slow, effortless glide, and off to her left, a groundhog sat perfectly still on a fallen tree and gazed at her. Somewhere in the trees below a mockingbird went through his entire repertoire, and
then flew away, leaving her with the silence and the gentle wind, spiced with honeysuckle and wild sage. With shaking breaths she gulped great draughts of it, feeding her senses with its sweetness.
Howard did not speak for a time, then, when he seemed to be sure Geneva had been alone with her thoughts long enough he tossed off his final salvo. “I bet all this silence has been driving you mad.”
He did lisp! No, it was not an actual lisp. More of a sibilant “s,” but not quite. She turned to him resolutely. “How long are you staying, Howard?” she asked flatly.
He hesitated. “I should go back on Tuesday.”
She nodded. Fine. She would give him until Tuesday to win her back. She owed that much to the love that she had felt for him. But already she knew his was a lost cause.
Eight
Thankfully, both Howard Knight and John were gone by the time Geneva and Howard returned to the farmhouse. The afternoon haze had begun to deepen in anticipation of dusk, and Geneva knew that Rachel had already prepared dinner without her help. Guiltily, she rushed into the kitchen to relieve her sister.
“Sorry, Rachel. I lost track of the time.”
“It’s okay. I’m just glad you haven’t thrown yourself off a cliff. I saw everything from the window before you left. I was too chicken to even come out and face everybody myself.” She giggled. “Wayne and John and Howard got into fish stories after they felt they had lied about their guns long enough. What did Howard have to say for himself?”
“Shh. He might hear you.” Geneva tiptoed to the door to peek into the living room. Wayne and Howard were drinking scotch and listening to music while the children played with dolls at Wayne’s feet. She decided it was safe enough to talk about her conversation with Howard.
“Well,” she said, drawing a long breath. “It seems he has decided, in his infinite wisdom, that we should reconcile. He even said he was sorry.”
“Big of him,” sneered Rachel.
“Several times, in fact,” continued Geneva. “He hadn’t come before because he was afraid I would beat him up.”
“Makes sense.”
“Yes. And the Jag’s mine—all mine.”
“Take it. They’re worth a bundle, and you can hock it for some good river bottom land.”
“How long did my ardent admirers stay?” asked Geneva.
“Oh, awhile. Howard—Knight, that is—really likes children, and he played croquet with the girls while Wayne and John put the horses up. Then we sat around and drank sangria and made fun of Howard—Graves. Why do you make things so confusing by getting boyfriends with the same name?”
“Very funny,” said Geneva with a wry face. I think I hear somebody squalling for you.”
“Right,” sighed Rachel. “Here. The salad’s yours. I’ll see if I can’t give them a quick fix and be back soon. By the way, Sally Beth and Lilly are coming for dinner. They’re bringing it, actually. This is just incidentals.”
“Great,” groaned Geneva. Just what she needed. Howard, and now Sally Beth and Lilly. Apart, the two silly sisters would be bad enough: Sally Beth would exclaim over the babies all night and the man-crazy Lilly would throw herself at Howard. But together, they would be intolerable with their constant bickering. She just hoped they both would not find Howard attractive and fight over him. He was just their type, she figured as she sliced tomatoes. Rich and male.
As she had expected, dinner started out miserably and declined from there. True to form, Lilly instantly zeroed in on Howard and began making an enormous fool of herself. Geneva felt the jealousy flare each time she saw her beautiful cousin flip her silky, pale hair off her shapely neck and Howard’s eyes dilate with pleasure.
“So, what do yew do, Howard?” Lilly purred.
“I’m a stock market analyst. You know, I try to figure out what the economy is doing. What companies’ stock are good—that sort of thing.”
“Ooh!” exclaimed Sally Beth, for something like the fifteenth time that evening. Geneva restrained her irritation. “I bet that’s hard! I bet yew have to do a lot of math, don’t yew?”
“Not too much,” smiled Howard. “It’s mostly done by computers now.”
“Computers! Ooh! That’s worse! I tried to use the one down at the school and couldn’t hardly even figure out how to turn it on! I’m just awful at machines!”
Lilly gave her sister a superior smile. “Yew would be, Sally Beth. Yew cain’t do anything that requires a brain.” Sally Beth stiffened. Geneva could see the muscles in her jaw bunch. Turning cozily to Howard, Lilly asserted, “I’ve been using computers down at the store for a long time now. I can do all sorts of things on them.”
“Yew can not,” sniffed Sally Beth. “The store doesn’t even have a computer. Yew jist use a calculator. I can do that!”
Lilly’s smile grew a shade more maternal. “No, really. I do lots of things.” She turned back to Howard. “Inventory and everything,” she said in an intimate voice.
“Yew do not! And I do too have a brain!”
Lilly’s smile hardened a bit, and inwardly Geneva moaned. Here it came. Ten minutes into the meal, and Lilly and Sally Beth were starting their first argument. She rolled her eyes at Rachel, who looked at the ceiling. “What do yew know, Sally Beth? I have been studying computers for some time now.”
“That’s a big, fat lie, and yew know it!” countered Sally Beth, sitting up straighter and glaring at Lilly. “Yew couldn’t use a computer if yer life depended on it. Yew cain’t use machines at all! Yew cain’t even use an ATM machine!”
Lilly tossed her silvery hair. “It’s not an ATM machine. That’s like saying Automatic Teller Machine machine. You’re just repeating yerself. And I can, too.”
“Ah—” Geneva jumped in, hoping to redirect the conversation, “a redundancy in modern idiom. I’ve always heard ATM machine, too!”
Howard spoke up. “Well, there are all kinds of computers—and calculators—and some are harder to use than others. Where do you work, Lilly?”
Lilly settled back into her chair, darting her little eyes once toward Sally Beth, then batting her lashes at Howard. “Down at the Toy Boat,” she replied demurely.
“Toy Boat?” echoed Howard.
“A toy store.”
“Actually, It’s ToyBoatToyBoatToyBoat, but Lilly never can say it. They don’t even let her answer the phone!” interjected Sally Beth.
“I can, too!” snapped Lilly. “It’s not that hard.”
“Yeah, well, let’s hear yew!”
“Sally Beth, yer such a child. I cain’t believe you are acting so stupid in front of Howard and everbody.”
“I’m jist askin’ yew to say one little thing. Toyboatoyboatoyboat. That’s not stupid. Saying yew can when you cain’t is. Why don’t yew just admit you cain’t say it and we’ll move on to another topic of conversation?”
“It really is hard,” interrupted Howard nervously. Wayne, Geneva, and Rachel sat silently. They knew better than to get drawn in to one of Sally Beth’s and Lilly’s arguments, and besides, they could almost be entertaining if one were in the right mood. Better than TV, anyway.
“I certainly don’t think I can say it,” he continued. “Toyboatoyboytoyboyt. How about you, Geneva?”
“Not me,” smiled Geneva demurely. “Rachel?”
“Nope. Makes me feel silly to try.”
“Wayne?”
“Sure. Toy. Boat. Toy. Boat. Toy. Boat.”
“That’s not fair, Wayne,” laughed Rachel. You have to say it fast. Even Lilly can say it slowly.”
Sally Beth giggled. “No she cain’t! She can only say it once!”
“Why don’t yew tell everybody how it took yew three times to pass your cosmetology test, Sally Beth?” said Lilly mildly.
“Well! That was hard!” objected Sally Beth. I had to learn chemistry for that!”
“Yeah, like, ‘What does peroxide do to hair?’”
“I know that!” exclaimed Sally Beth, missing the point. “It bleaches it out and
dries it out, and you cain’t put in a perm on top of it!” she shouted triumphantly. Lilly rolled her eyes toward Howard. Howard scratched his nose.
The argument slid from subject to subject, and back in time, until the girls had waxed so historical that no one could fathom the circumstances over which they were airing grievances. Yet, even as they squabbled, somehow Lilly still managed to channel an astounding amount of energy toward Howard. Geneva’s head ached from grinding her teeth, and as the evening wore on, she felt bone weary and desperate for peace and quiet. At last, after dinner was eaten and the dishes washed, she slipped out of the living room to the telephone upstairs.
Secretively, she dialed John’s number. “Hi. Just wanted to let you know I enjoyed myself today,” she whispered into the phone. “Sorry I took off like that. I hope you understand that I felt like I had to go with Howard. The last time we spoke, we were screaming at each other.”
“Yeah. I don’t blame you. Nice car.”
“Yes, well. I sort of like my Mazda. It’s easy to get out of ditches.”
He laughed, then fell silent. “I suppose you still have company?”
“He said he plans on leaving Tuesday.” She hesitated. “But I’d be surprised if he lasts that long. There’s really no reason for him to hang around unless of course he wants to go shoot at road signs with you and Howard. Did you kill very many?”
“Not so many. We were too drunk on moonshine to shoot straight.” They both laughed, then he lowered his voice. “I enjoyed today, too. I don’t know what I’ve thought about more tonight, what nearly happened up on that mountain, or what you were doing with Jim Dandy this evening. It’s been a night of ups and downs.”
Geneva felt a rush of feeling for John. “I guess you’ll leave before I get a chance to see you again?”
“Yes, first thing in the morning. But I’ll be back next Saturday. See you then?”
“Definitely. Have fun.”
“You, too.” There was a pause, then a chuckle. “I don’t mean that. Hope you are miserable.”
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