Raw with emotion she trudged up the stairs to Mutter’s apartment. Mid-flight, she met her neighbor walking downwards.
“Frau Weber, how are you today?” Anna plastered on a polite smile.
“I’m fine. But I’m worried about your sister Ursula.” Frau Weber blocked the stairs, obviously on the hunt for gossip.
Anna feigned ignorance, saying, “I’m sure she’s fine.”
“Well, there’s something going on. She rarely leaves the apartment these days. Is she still grieving about Lotte’s death? Poor girl. So young. But also with a tongue that couldn’t be tamed. Your mother never explained what happened.” Frau Weber gave her a curious look.
“She contracted typhus and couldn’t be saved,” Anna said, hoping this would be enough to get Frau Weber out of her hair.
“Poor girl…it’s been, how long? Three months? And there still hasn’t been a memorial service for her. And where’s her grave?”
You stupid snitcher. There won’t be a memorial service because she isn’t really dead. Anna tried her best to make a sad face. “Yes, it’s such a tragedy. We never received her body. Quarantine restrictions, you know? The authorities were afraid the corpse might spread the disease to our family and even to our neighbors.” Anna had to bite on her cheeks to prevent herself from laughing at Frau Weber’s horrified face.
“Oh,” the woman said and backed away from Anna.
“The authorities were right,” Anna added with a devilish joy, and then continued, “I care for patients with typhus, tuberculosis, dysentery, and cholera on a daily basis and I know how easy it is to contract such a deadly disease.” She took a step towards her harping neighbor.
“I…I am in a hurry,” Frau Weber said and fled down the stairs.
Anna grinned and knocked on the door. Not having to put up with Frau Weber was a definite advantage of having moved out. She remembered all too well the time Frau Weber had called the Gestapo on them while they were hiding the British pilot – the father of Ursula’s baby.
“Anna, darling, how are you?” Mutter asked as she opened the door.
“I’m fine.” Anna entered the apartment and left her coat on the rack, noticing three coats already hanging on the hooks. “You’re having guests?”
“So I wish,” Mutter said with a tired sigh. “The housing office has assigned a bombed-out person to live with us. Sabine is staying in my room and I have moved my things into Ursula’s room. We were lucky they didn’t assign us another person to take up quarters in the living room.”
“Is she here?” Anna glanced around and then followed her mother into the kitchen.
“No, she’s working at the ammunition factory.” Mutter heated water for tea. “Sabine is Ursula’s age and thankfully she’s a tidy person. Her husband is dead, and given the decay of moral standards amongst your generation,” Mutter advised, pausing only long enough to give a pointed look at Ursula, who shoved her big belly into the room, “I have told her that no men are allowed in this house under any circumstances.”
“Hello, sister.” Anna ignored her mother’s comment and hugged Ursula. “How are you?”
“Much better since I went to the ration office and registered my pregnancy. You won’t believe the kind of extra food we’re getting now,” Ursula said.
“You need it.” Anna flopped onto the chair and took the cup of steaming tea Mutter handed her.
“Maybe you can talk some sense into your sister,” Mutter said to Anna.
“What’s she talking about?”
“Mutter thinks I should go to the country. To Aunt Lydia’s,” Ursula answered as she received a cup of tea as well.
“It’s not the worst idea I’ve heard of,” Anna said slowly.
“I don’t want to leave Berlin. Pfarrer Bernau needs my help. Now more than ever.” Ursula grimaced at them.
Mutter shook her head, saying, “You have a baby to think about now. This…work you’re doing is endangering both of you. With my sister you’ll be safe, get better food and more sleep.”
Anna could see a fight brewing and changed the subject. “Have you heard from Richard again?”
Mutter sent her a scowl. “Richard! Don’t even get me started on your brother! That reckless boy has sent me a letter that he requested a return to combat in lieu of staying wherever he was safely tucked behind a desk. Can you believe this?”
Anna couldn’t. Richard had always been the bookworm of the family, a shy, quiet, and thin boy, who was happy to leave the limelight to his three sisters. One year older than wildcat Lotte, people had often mentioned that she behaved more like a boy than he did. It was beyond Anna’s comprehension that even her withdrawn brother suddenly showed heroic qualities while she still peed in her pants over Doctor Tretter’s threats.
“Mutter, you don’t know what kind of things he had to do at his desk job,” Ursula said, putting a calming hand on her mother’s arm and sending Anna a glance that said I’ll bet he prefers dying on the battlefield to being responsible for some of the things we know are happening.
“When will this war end?” Mutter asked the rhetorical question with a desolate tone in her voice.
“Hopefully soon,” Anna answered and then added, “Lotte called me a while ago to remind me of the fact that she has turned eighteen.”
“My little one. I hope the nuns can instill some obedience in her,” Muter said.
“She’s not in the convent anymore,” Anna blurted out and then clasped a hand in front of her mouth.
“What do you mean? Where is she?” Mutter squinted her eyes at Anna, who blushed furiously as she realized her mistake.
“I don’t know, but she called me because she needed a letter of reference. To be accepted as Wehrmachtshelferin and start radio operator training,” Anna murmured.
Mutter’s face became ashen and for long moments one could have heard a pin drop.
“A radio operator? What is that girl thinking?” Mutter finally asked.
“That’s a hell of a dangerous position–” Ursula said, interrupted by the tsking sound her mother made at the use of this inappropriate word.
“I’m sorry, Mutter, but radio operators follow the front line to report back to headquarters. Since it is so dangerous, they’ve been desperately looking for volunteers,” Ursula explained.
Mutter closed her eyes and said, “I don’t know what’s come over my children lately. Nobody heeds my advice anymore.”
Much later, Ursula accompanied her sister to the bus station and used the time alone with her to ask, “What made Lotte change her mind and work for the Nazis?”
“Not for the Nazis, against them. She’s put her mind to working for the Allies as a spy.” Anna hugged her sister tight, seeing that her bus was nearing the stop.
“Jesus. She’ll get caught and then? She’ll wish herself back in Ravensbrück.” A shudder racked Ursula’s body. “I’ve seen what the Gestapo does with their prisoners. The ones who arrive at our prison seldom look like human beings anymore.”
“We have to trust that she won’t get caught. We both know that short of shackling her to a pole, there’s not much to keep her from pursuing her plan,” Anna said, taking a step back from Ursula and hopping on the bus. “Take care!”
Chapter 28
Anna went straight to Peter’s place and knocked. After she’d surprised him transmitting the radio message, he always double-checked that he’d locked the door
“Hello, sweetheart.” He greeted her with a kiss and then locked the door behind her. “How was the visit with your family?”
“Nice, but…” Anna bent down to take off her shoes. “The housing office assigned them a bombed-out victim. And Mutter wants Ursula to live in the country with my aunt until the baby has arrived.”
“That’s not a bad idea, actually.” Peter grinned and whirled her around. “I’ll take you out to the motion pictures after dinner, but first I need to transmit a message.”
“You do whatever you need to do and I’ll cook.
Mutter gave me a chunk of sausage that Aunt Lydia sent. And now let me down.” Anna laughed and jiggled her legs in the air.
“I will not,” Peter protested, and carried her all the way to the small kitchenette before he set her down and stole another kiss.
Anna hummed a melody to a tune on the radio as she prepared the feast. The familiar tapping coming from the bedroom was drowned out when she started chopping cabbage, carrots, and potatoes to make a casserole for them.
“Hmm, that smells good. What is it?”
She spun around at the sound of the voice and gasped in shock, saying, “What are you doing here?”
“I followed you,” Doctor Tretter answered with a leer.
“How did you get in?” She was positive Peter had locked the door behind her after entering.
He proudly held up a key. Anna wanted to slap it out of his arrogant hand. “This is the master key to all the staff apartments in the Charité compound. I happened to come into possession of it.”
“You need to leave. I didn’t invite you here.” Anna glanced at the kitchen knife she held in her hand and clasped it tighter. She couldn’t yell for Peter’s help because he was transmitting a message to London. If T the devil caught a glimpse of the radio equipment, neither her life nor Peter’s was worth a single Pfennig anymore.
“Where are your manners, Nurse Anna?” He looked around the apartment. “So, this is where you live. Nice.” Then his glance fell on Peter’s hat and driver’s uniform hanging from one of the hooks beside the door.
He turned towards her, fire and anger churning in his eyes. “Whore! I warned you what would happen if you betrayed me!”
“I may have been a whore for you, but not anymore.” Anna felt rage coiling in her blood, pushing the fear aside and giving her a strength she didn’t know she possessed. “You leave now and never bother me again, or–”
“Or what? Will you call that lover of yours to come to your aid? Do you really think he’ll go up against me? He’s nothing but a chauffeur, a servant. Oh no,” he spat. He approached her, his eyes glinting with pure evil. “You are mine. To do with whatever I like. However I like. Whenever I like. I own you and you will be my whore for as long as I see fit.”
Anna’s anger snaked up her torso, and landed on her lips effectively sealing them shut. The radio played the last notes of a popular song, and then silence fell over the apartment; a silence that was only pierced by the muted tapping noises coming from behind the bedroom door.
Doctor Tretter froze. “What is that? Who is in there?”
“Nobody. Get out.” Anna knew she had to do something to stop him and stepped into his path.
“Get out of my way,” he commanded and pushed her to the side as if she were nothing but a pesky insect. Then he stormed across the room and shoved open the door to find Peter bent over his transmitter.
“You? The Gestapo will delight in my discovery,” Doctor Tretter said with a cruel smile, and turned on his heel to pick up the phone. But Anna was faster.
“No you won’t. You’ve done enough damage for a lifetime.” Then she launched her arm at him and slit his carotid artery with the kitchen knife she still gripped in her hand.
What happened next, she did not remember.
“Anna? Sweetheart? Are you alright?” She heard Peter’s voice through the thunderous rushing in her ears. Still unable to properly focus, she saw his shadow moving in front of her and felt him slapping her cheek to return the blood to her head. “Please, say something!”
“I guess…I am…fine.” Her mouth was filled with cotton balls, but at least her vision returned and she could now clearly see Peter hovering over her. He must have caught her falling as she fainted and carried her to the bed. “Where is…is he?”
“He’s never going to hurt you again.” Peter sat down on the bed beside her and gently removed the knife from her fingers.
“I killed him,” she whispered, nausea bubbling up the back of her throat. She’d deliberately taken the life of another human being. No matter how despicable the man, she’d murdered him in cold blood. The monstrosity of her actions seeped into her brain, her bones, and her heart. She had killed an important Party member by her own hand.
“Shush, try not to think about it right now. You saved my life, and yours, too.” Peter soothed her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. No matter how tender his ministrations, Anna’s body still trembled under the weight of what she had done. “Wait, I’ll be right back.” He disappeared to the kitchenette and returned moments later with am acrid-smelling transparent liquid in a glass.
“What’s that?” Anna whispered, too drained to raise her hands. She wished a fissure would open up in the floorboards to swallow her whole.
“Vodka. Drink this. It helps.” He put the glass to her lips and made her drink up.
He was right. The vodka burned down her throat, returning warmth into her shaking limbs and benumbing her brain enough to stop thinking about the blood sputtering from Doctor Tretter’s neck. When Peter made to leave her side, she held onto his hand whispering, “Please. Stay.”
“For as long as you need me,” he said, and held her tight. The alcohol did its job and she relaxed against Peter’s chest, and then tears started to flow. The longer he held her, the more she cried. “Cry as much as you need. It helps,” Peter said in a soothing voice, stroking his hand up and down her back. And she did. She wept, yelled, and screamed until she was hoarse and there were no more tears to cry.
When she stopped, Peter kissed her and said, “You try to sleep, and I’ll take care of…him.” He got up, changed into worn and faded clothes, and rolled up his sleeves.
Anna closed her eyes and must have dozed off, because when she woke later, she heard the sound of cabinets opening and running water. Several minutes later Peter returned with a hard expression on his face and said, “Done.”
She did not dare to ask what he had done and how he had disposed of the corpse. She simply invited him beneath her blanket and pressed herself against his strong body. Tomorrow she would deal with the consequences of her actions.
Chapter 29
The next morning Anna woke up with the feeling that something awful had happened. She sat up and was rubbing the sleep from her eyes, when the memories came rushing back.
I killed a man.
“Peter?” she yelped in a high-pitched voice.
“Good morning, sweetheart.” He entered the room with a towel slung around his hips, his full chest hair still damp from the shower he’d just exited. But Anna had no eyes for the perfect body of the man she loved so much.
“I need…we need…what will…” The words tumbled out in the same mishmash as the thoughts whirling in her head.
“Shush.” He placed a kiss on her lips, and his presence slowed down the train of her thoughts. “This is what I want you to do. First, you stop by your apartment and freshen up before reporting to work.”
“Work? How can I show up at work today? After…” Anna swallowed, but the panic refused to go down.
“You need to act normal. Go through your routines like every other day. Pretend you haven’t seen him since the day of the celebration in the auditorium.”
“Act normal?” she asked, wondering what that even looked like. I executed a man with my own hands last night. How does a cold-blooded killer behave?
Peter pulled her from the bed and hugged her for a long moment, saying, “Now get dressed and go. Don’t forget to look as impeccable as you always do.” Then he swatted her backside to make her move. Her clothes were covered in blood, but Anna put them on, moving like a puppet on strings. So focused was she on her acting-normal charade, she forgot to say goodbye to Peter as she exited his apartment.
Thankfully, it was still early and she didn’t encounter a soul on the short walk over to her own place, where she stepped beneath the shower, fully clothed. She scrubbed her clothes and herself, and washed her hair, until all traces of the doctor’s blood had gone. But looking around
her, she saw red spots everywhere. She knew it was an illusion, her tortured mind playing tricks on her, because there couldn’t be blood in her apartment. Or on her hands…
Plastering a smile on her face, she left her place and reported to work. Nothing happened and nobody seemed to miss Doctor Tretter. By the time she went to the canteen for lunch, she had relaxed a bit and even managed to laugh at the silly jokes of one of her colleagues.
Then Professor Scherer asked all the team leaders to meet in his office with two men in civilian suits flanking him, Anna’s heart stopped beating.
“Ladies and gentlemen, there may have been a crime at the Charité,” the professor said in a shaken voice. He raised a tapered finger, and pointed at the two men in gray. “These gentlemen are from the Gestapo, and need to question every single one of you and your team members about the disappearance of Doctor Tretter.”
A murmur went through the room, and Anna’s palms became damp with cold sweat.
They’re going to see right through me. They’re going to torture me, and force me to confess. They’re going to execute me.
They know I killed him.
“But, Professor Scherer, wasn’t the new professor due to arrive two weeks from now?” one of the older doctors asked.
“Unfortunately…” One of the Gestapo officers took a step forward, and pierced one after another of the dozen people in the room with his steel-blue eyes. The murmuring faded away, and Anna was sure she wasn’t the only one on pins and needles. The Gestapo had the ability to chill even the most innocent child to the bone, making him rack his brain trying to remember what he might have done wrong.
Strangely enough, this knowledge filled Anna with confidence. In her childhood, she had honed the skill of making anyone believe in her innocence. Play-acting that had worked on her mother would work on the Gestapo lads as well. It must. Or she’d be executed and tossed aside as if she’d meant nothing. Along with Peter. And God knows who else.
War Girl Anna (War Girls Book 3) Page 13