by Karen Anders
Her words hit him like a physical blow. He flinched, his eyes widening and he was struck totally speechless. Emotions darted through him—shock, fear, vulnerability and, finally, joy. Hoarsely, he said, “You would trust me with your daughter? Damn it, Jennifer, you don’t know me.”
“I know you, Corey. I know you would die before you harmed a hair on her head or let anyone else harm her. I know that and for me that’s enough.”
He twisted away from her and went to sit down in a chair, sinking into it as the strength left his legs.
After a moment he looked at her. “You trust me?”
“Yes, I trust you. Will you do it for her? For me?” When he didn’t answer right away, she averted her gaze and stammered, “I—I guess I could ask someone else—”
“No! I’ll take her. It would be my pleasure to see her ride and win.” Who was he kidding? he thought. He would be so puffed up with pride that he would most likely explode. She had no idea what a monumental gift she had just given him.
He stood up and went to her. He had resolved not to touch her, but the compulsion was a force beyond his control. Something sweet and wonderful washed through him and that incredible feeling remained, filling up black, empty places, washing away his darkness and despair.
His fingers brushed her face and she gasped. “Your trust is a precious gift beyond imagination.”
“Mr. Rainwater? We need you, sir,” a voice interrupted.
“I’m coming.” He never took his eyes off her when he spoke. “When I come back, would it be okay with you if I break my vow?”
For another second, he held her gaze, the shocked pleasure in her eyes twisting his heart, increasing his breathing. Happiness wasn’t something he took for granted. He was thankful for every little tidbit that came his way. He was thankful for Jennifer and her beautiful heart. Unfortunately, he could see no way to stop from breaking her heart. Or, for that matter, his own.
Chapter 11
“Ellie, what are you afraid of?”
They stood outside the ring where she was getting ready for her first ride of the day. They’d arrived late last night and she immediately went to sleep. This morning she’d been silent and hardly ate anything at breakfast. The big green eyes so like her mother’s pulled at his heartstrings.
“Failing.”
“Are you afraid of what your mom will say? She’ll love you no matter what happens,” Corey said softly.
Her serious little face twisted with a powerful emotion and Corey leaned closer to her. “What is it, Ellie?”
“I’m not afraid of failing Mom. I’m afraid of failing you. My dad didn’t want me. He...just left. I never got the chance—” Ellie’s anguished voice broke off.
“Ellie, I just want you to do your best, darlin’. You won’t fail me. I’m so damn proud of you right now that if my chest puffs up any more it’s going to explode.”
“Corey?”
“What?”
“I think I’m afraid of failing myself the most.”
He pulled the girl into his arms and held her as tight as he could without crushing her. “Ellie, all you have to do is try. Just that. If you don’t try, you’ll never know whether or not you can do it.”
Limelight shifted next to her and Ellie patted the animal’s neck. Turning back to Corey, she touched his arm gently and said, “I’ll never forget this day.” Then she climbed into the saddle.
The loudspeaker’s voice boomed. “Well, Molly Duncan hasn’t disappointed us today. She has the best time. But there’s one more rider, folks, to challenge Molly. She hails from Silver Creek, Texas. Let’s see what this little lady can do.”
Corey grabbed her booted leg. “Show ‘em what you can do, little darlin’.”
Ellie settled herself deeper into the saddle and gave Limelight barely a nudge. With the grace and beauty that Corey knew was in the mare, the horse pranced into the ring as if bred for display. Ellie sat erect, her black Stetson pulled low over her eyes, her slim jaw tight with determination. She was dressed in a dark green shirt with white fringe that brought out the red highlights in her tightly bound auburn braids.
Strapped to her jeans was a pair of dyed-green leather shotgun chaps with silver conchos threaded down the legs, an early birthday present from her mother.
Corey climbed the railing, his body tensing when Ellie reached the center of the ring and the horse burst into action, jumping forward with an eagerness that raced in Corey’s blood. The eagerness to beat time. Corey watched with a knot in his throat as all the grueling training he’d put her through coalesced into a breathtaking display of pure horsemanship. He watched her guide the horse with skill beyond her years. She was a natural-born barrel racer.
And he wished for the umpteenth time that she was his.
His breath caught while the crowd surged to its feet as she took a precariously close turn, nicking a barrel and causing it to sway. The mare careened skillfully out of the cloverleaf turn, her flying hooves kicking up clods of dirt. Ellie urged her on as they headed for the finish line.
The excited voice of the loudspeaker boomed over the ring. People were applauding and cheering so loud it was hard for Corey to hear. “She’s done it! She’s beat Molly’s time! I can’t wait to see this little lady in action tomorrow. Keep your eyes on this one. She’s going places.”
It all happened so fast that Corey barely had time to respond. Out of the corner of his eye he’d noticed a man having a hard time handling a big black stallion. The horse broke loose with a sharp whinny and charged into the ring. Limelight pulled up sharply to avoid the big black, twisting her body around, but it was too late. Both animals collided and Corey watched in horror as Ellie flew from the saddle. Limelight and the black also went down in a tangle of flashing hooves and sharp piercing cries. Corey hit the ground running, reaching Ellie’s still form first. His heart was in his throat as he turned her over.
Her sweet face was twisted in agony. Between gasps of pain she managed to say, “How about that for a dismount?” She tried for levity and failed miserably. He could see her fighting her tears and his heart almost broke for the brave front she was trying to erect.
“Ellie, where does it hurt?”
“My wrist.” She tried to crane her neck. “Limelight?”
“I don’t give a damn about the horse,” he snapped as he cradled her against him and reached for her arm, soothing her as she bit her lip against the pain.
“I hope she’s okay.” She tried to sit up, but Corey held her too tightly.
“Hold still and I’ll check.” He looked over his shoulder, his stomach muscles knotting when he realized that one horse had not gotten up. Then he saw Limelight standing on trembling legs, a man—most likely the vet—checking her over. “She’s okay, darlin’, the vet’s with her.”
Ellie sighed against him as he heard the wailing sirens of the ambulance now making its way into the ring. “Well, it looks like you’re going to ride to the hospital in style.”
“You won’t leave me?”
“Hell, no. Wild horses couldn’t drag me away from you,” he promised.
“Corey?” Buck McDonald hunkered down, his face full of concern. “How is she?”
Buck was a longtime friend from his rodeo days. He’d been opening the gate for Ellie’s return when the black broke loose. “She’ll be okay, Buck. I think it’s just a broken wrist. I would appreciate it if you could take care of Limelight, though, then meet us at the hospital so we’ll have a ride back to the rodeo.”
“Sure, no problem, partner.” Buck smiled at Ellie and headed for the mare.
During the ride to the hospital the paramedics immobilized Ellie’s wrist and thoroughly checked her over from head to foot. She had a few bruises, but a broken wrist was most likely the extent of her injuries.
Ellie, looking as pale as the sheet she lay on, turned her head and gave Corey a weak smile. “I beat her time. Can you believe it?”
“Yes. Ellie, you were magnificent. I’ve nev
er seen a child as young as you handle a horse the way you did. You even amazed me.”
“It was the most exhilarating feeling I’ve ever experienced,” she agreed. “I felt as if Limelight had grown wings and we were flying around those barrels. I felt as close to her as a human being possibly can. It was like we both knew what the other was thinking.”
“So that’s your secret, you can talk to animals. Nice trick,” Corey teased. He was rewarded with a giggle.
“Thank God she’s okay,” Ellie said.
“Yeah. I know Buck. He’ll take good care of her.”
When they reached the hospital, Corey walked alongside the stretcher right into the examining room. He had no intention of letting Ellie out of his sight. He stayed through the painful ordeal of x-raying the wrist, keeping out of the way.
When they took her back to the examining room, he again went with her.
A white-coated doctor came into the room. He slipped some X rays up on a lighted screen and studied them for a moment, then turned to Corey and cleared his throat.
Ellie’s face screwed up in pain, just briefly, as she tried to be brave.
“Are you her father?” the doctor asked.
“No, but I’m responsible for her.” His heart lurched at his own words and how deeply he meant them.
“The wrist is fractured in two places.” He gestured toward an X ray. “We’ll put a cast on her now, and since she has no other problems you can take her home.”
“Corey, I don’t want to go home.” Ellie’s jaw was firm and deep determination swam in her eyes.
“Ellie, we’ll talk about that later.”
A nurse bustled in. “Sir, I’m afraid you’ll have to leave.”
“Corey, please don’t go,” Ellie pleaded.
He looked down to see the bravado totally gone, tears shining in her eyes, and he realized in an instant that she had been trying to be brave for him. “Darlin’, I’m not going anywhere.” He gently caressed her face with the palm of his hand.
“You have to leave,” the nurse insisted.
“Who’s going to make me? You?” Corey challenged, thrusting out his hip and narrowing his eyes.
“Are you her kin?” the nurse asked with challenge.
“Close enough. You have some kind of argument?”
The nurse backed down and they began to put a cast on Ellie’s wrist.
Twenty minutes later they were in the back seat of Buck’s car. Ellie’s face was set and determined and Corey felt as if he were being attacked by a full army.
“I don’t want to go home. If I don’t compete tomorrow, I won’t have a chance at the buckle.” She stuck out her bottom lip, the sly look in her eye replaced by belligerence.
“Ellie, you’ve got a broken wrist.” He tried to reason with her, but knew that he was already losing the battle inside where it counted.
“I can still ride. I have to, Corey. I’m no quitter,” she said intensely.
“Ellie, I know you’re not a quitter, but you’re injured. It’s too dangerous,” he said, but even he could hear the doubt in his voice.
“It isn’t. I can handle a horse with one arm,” she said defiantly.
“Corey, I think the little lady deserves a chance.” Buck’s voice floated to them from the front seat.
Corey sighed. “Buck, I’m drowning here. I don’t need you pushing me under,” he said gruffly.
“Sorry,” the old cowboy said, but there wasn’t an ounce of remorse in his voice.
“Ellie, look at it from my point of view. I’m responsible for you. I couldn’t bear it if I let you get up on that horse and you hurt yourself even worse.”
“You had nothing to do with me getting a broken wrist. It was a freak accident. Corey, I’ve trained so hard, please.” Tears welled up in her eyes and slipped out to run down her face. “It’s important to me.”
Her tears tore through him like little barbed arrows. He knew what it cost her to cry. He could see the effort it had taken earlier to keep herself from bawling. Through the worst of it she’d never let even one tear fall. Courageous and tough, his little darlin’. He couldn’t say no.
“All right, but stop that blubbering,” he said gruffly, with more compassion than irritation.
Ellie smiled and wiped at her tears.
“How about an ice-cream cone on me?” he offered, chucking her under the chin.
Ellie’s grin widened. “Mom says that ice cream can just about cure anything.”
“Your mom may be on to something there.”
Later that night he sat on the motel bed, watching Ellie sleep, worrying about tomorrow and hoping he had made the right decision. He thought about calling Jennifer, had just about dialed all the numbers when he heard Ellie’s voice.
“Don’t call her. She’ll make me come home,” Ellie pleaded.
“Ellie, you’re my responsibility. Your mother has a right to know if something happened to you.”
She sat up in bed. “I agree, but I’m not seriously injured. In fact, my wrist doesn’t even hurt at all. So I’ll have a cast for a few weeks. Big deal.”
“Ellie, your mom will want to know.”
“She’s probably still in Phoenix conducting business. You don’t want to upset her when she needs all her negotiating skills.”
“Ellie...” He stopped, at a loss for words.
“Please, Corey. I’ll just die if she makes me go home. I don’t want to give up.”
The fresh tears were more than he could stand. “Ellie, I don’t like this.”
“Please,” she said brokenly as she shifted to sit next to him. “I promise I’ll tell her it was my idea not to call her. Please, please, please. I’m begging you.”
Some father he would make, Corey thought. A little pleading and a lot of tears and he was considering doing something totally against his conscience. But he knew that it was right to call Jennifer.
“I have to call her and explain things. If she says you have to come home, then that’s it.” He dialed the number of her hotel room in Phoenix and was told that she had checked out. When he tried the house, Jimmy told him that she hadn’t returned home yet. He left a message for Jennifer to call when she got home.
“Well, your mom’s not home, yet. I left her a message. You get some sleep now.”
Ellie nodded and lay back against the pillows again. It didn’t take long before he heard her even breathing.
Her red hair was tousled, thick and rich on the pillow, her dark lashes like half moons on her delicate cheeks. He knew without having to think about it that he loved her. He wanted to be there for her when she needed him. He wanted to soothe her tears when a stupid adolescent boy broke her heart. He wanted to nurture and teach her. He wanted the responsibility of her life in his hands. A life he would cherish and hold right up against his heart.
And the painful realization that he couldn’t tore his heart to shreds. The fear he had lived with since he became an adult was too real, too near, always waiting to grab him unaware. What did he have to offer to either of these delicate souls? Jennifer with her full giving heart and Ellie with her innocence and trust.
Unable to answer his own question, he slept out of necessity, because he needed to be fresh and alert for Ellie. He would be driving her home tomorrow and he needed his wits about him. Home to Jennifer. He couldn’t help it, he moaned out loud thinking about Jennifer, recalling the way her hands had kneaded his back. The softness of her mouth, the way she gasped and cried out when she found her release.
He hugged his pillow to him and pretended it was her and finally dropped into slumber.
The next thing he knew it was morning and Ellie was shaking him and telling him she was hungry. They got dressed and started out for the motel diner. He still hadn’t heard from Jennifer, so he checked Ellie’s cast and made the decision to let her ride. He couldn’t resist her puppydog eyes.
Unlike yesterday morning, Ellie ate a hearty breakfast and even managed to chatter all the way through it
. He enjoyed every minute of her breathless questions, smiled at the serious way she listened to his every word.
They got to the rodeo in plenty of time. As they walked over to the booth to get Ellie’s number, his arm loosely around her shoulders, he heard a voice from the past.
“Rainwater, is that you? I heard you turned yellow, so did you decide to ride in the baby rodeo?”
He turned around and faced the man, not noticing Ellie’s gasp and stiff posture.
Sonny Braxton. Once he had been great and on top, but now he was a drunken lout that didn’t have the manners of a goat. He had once been handsome, but excess living had put pounds on his body and carved deep grooves in his face. Pale blue eyes, glazed by alcohol, challenged Corey.
“Braxton, don’t you have anything better to do than hang around the junior championships?”
“My girl has a kid riding in this baby’s circus,” he said, his gaze shifting to Ellie. “Picking them up kinda young, Rainwater. You must be hard-up.”
Before Sonny could say another hateful word, Corey’s fist connected with his jaw and laid him out on the ground. With clenched teeth, Corey snapped, “Shut your filthy mouth, you poor excuse for a man. And stay out of my way.”
Corey turned around, grabbed Ellie by the arm and dragged her after him. When they reached the check-in booth he finally noticed how pale she was. She looked as if she’d seen a ghost. He let his anger go and crouched until he was eye level with her. “What is it, honey? I’m sorry you had to see that.”
To his utter horror, she broke into sobbing tears. Her chest heaved with them, her eyes full of horror from something Corey couldn’t pinpoint.
He scooped her up and found a quiet spot near the fence where he cradled her against him, her number still in his hand. “Ellie, what’s wrong? Please tell me, little darlin’. The fighting upset you. Do you want me to take you home?”
“N-no,” she stammered, crying as if her world had suddenly caved in on her.
“Ellie, please,” he begged, “tell me.”
“H-he’s my father,” she said in barely a whisper.