“You can have a woman who could give you your own children. I can’t do that Avery. That’s not a decision you should make so hastily.”
“I don’t want any other woman Cece. Don’t you get it? No matter what you throw at me, in the end, I just want you. You are first. Children are second, if any. If I have to choose between you and children, I will choose you every time.”
“Avery...”
He didn’t let her finish.
His touch and his words were convincing her they could battle anything together. The moment his lips touched hers, Cece’s protests were lost, her worries vanished. His touch promised her the serenity, commitment and the life she’d stopped dreaming about.
Then in an instant her appetite for him returned and he for hers. Their hands started to rapidly tear away the other’s clothes, while touching, caressing, stroking and kissing. They tossed them off, not paying attention to where they landed. Cece’s dress was first, then Avery’s vest and his button up. She ran her hands over his abs, up his chest, and snaked around his neck, unable to get enough of his mouth. Avery’s hands started up her back and up her shoulders, pulling the straps of her bra down and kissing her shoulder. His hands cupped her lace-covered breasts before moving up her neck, burning fire everywhere he touched.
Their feet carried them past the wall of pictures to the bed. Cece didn’t notice the deep purple walls or that the color was accented in the black, grey and purple comforter. She didn’t notice this part of the apartment was dark with another window only casting in the glow of the city inside.
The back of Cece’s legs hit the edge of the bed and their lips separated. Avery pulled his pants off and threw them behind him. Instead of reaching back for her, he stopped in front of her, his eyes appreciatively starting at her legs and working their way to her eyes. There was such passion in his eyes, but any man could have passion. He also held compassion and protection, everything her mother had told her to look for in a man.
“You’re so gorgeous,” he said and she loved hearing it each and every time.
She stepped toward him and this time she said it back. “You’re beautiful.” She touched his abs...finally. Bare naked, hard and wonderful. She ran her hands across them.
“I don’t want to rush you,” he said.
Cece reached up and pulled his ear to her lips. “Rush me Avery McAdams. Don’t make me ask twice.”
Chapter Seventeen
HOURS LATER, CECE’S eyes popped open, regardless of her lack of sleep throughout the night.
The pleasant memories of the night made her lips turn upwards into an exhausted, delighted smile that harmonized with the tranquility of being wrapped in the arms of the man who promised her an amazing future. Like every morning, Cece didn’t even have to look at a clock, she knew by the darkness and a splash of new morning lightness on its way, what time it was...five.
Lying entangled with Avery, she reveled in the fact that her mind didn’t go into work mode, even though it should have. She didn’t reach for her iPad and the ton of messages awaiting her approval with Riley still in Willow Valley. That was the pressing reason they would contact her, but frankly the employees were still working on the transition between her and Riley, often running things by her first.
This quiet morning, Cece savoured the warmth of Avery’s chest against her cheek, snuggling herself into the nook of his strong, protective arm which wrapped around her like a bubble of protection. Protective. Protection. She wasn’t sure she liked the terms continually popping into her head, like it was telling her the only way she could live this peaceful serenade was with a man by her side protecting her. Not just any man...Avery. Even so, she’d grown into a strong, independent woman who was capable of protecting herself.
Cece sighed at her thoughts, noticing Avery’s large, long columns swathed around her small legs like her shelter, her pro−
No, enough of that word.
Running her fingers along Avery’s exposed abdomen, she couldn’t help but disregard the banter against herself and simply enjoy what Avery’s words offered her: security. She liked the feeling of not battling this world alone with a man to protect her. Did that make her weak? Did that make her pathetic? Or did that just make her human? She wasn’t sure after all these years what she was supposed to feel like. But, she knew after years of being alone and keeping everyone on a short leash from her heart, she was finally letting someone in. That wasn’t defeat, it was bravery.
Cece had bared everything to him...almost everything...and Avery wanted her, even aware of her biggest, darkest, most terrifying truth, her inability to conceive a baby. Still to this day, even the smallest, tiniest reminder of that truth glazed her eyes with sadness she’d once carried on her own. Now Avery promised to stand by her side and give up his chances of having a baby whose veins ran with his blood to adopt by her side. That was amazing. It was unbelievable.
Cece was still having a difficult time comprehending the love he must hold for her to sacrifice so much of his future for her.
Her fingers stopped at his throat and her eyes found his face. Adjusting to the darkness, no longer did she see only an outline of his chiseled features, now she could see his parted lips...lips she’d kissed, stroked, and licked for hours. They’d connected on a whole new level that Cece had never experienced before. United, their needs went unspoken and Cece loved that he knew when to touch her body, when it was scorching for him, but then in a moment his touch caressed her skin, her lips, and her soul like a gentle breeze.
What if he woke up and changed his mind? Her heart sunk at the sudden wonder, just like it had the evening before. Now, after spending the night with him, after feeling the bravery to share her secrets with him and his acceptance of her, not only did her heart feel like it was sinking, but like there was an anchor tied around it dragging into the deepest depths of the water never to return.
“Good morning,” his faint voice rumbled into her thoughts, effectively working its magic and chasing her worry away.
He brought her hand to his lips, kissing it good morning, with his eyes still closed.
Cece smiled. “Morning.”
“Did you sleep well?” She could wake up every morning to him asking her such caring questions.
“Yes. But now I don’t know how I will last the whole weekend in a bunk. Alone.”
His body stretched beneath hers and his eyes opened. He wore that happy grin on his face, but his eyes were only for her. “We will figure something out. Until then...” His arm tightened around her. “...how much time do we have?”
“I need to get to the AHJ.”
She felt his body relax in a pout. “Now?”
She nodded, reluctantly. Bringing up the AHJ shifted her thoughts into the work mode that had eluded her all morning. “I should be there before the gates open to check the merchandise tent and get you guys set up there.” The crew that came along for the merchandise tent were experienced. They knew how to set up and stock the tables, so Cece would only need to double check. “Don’t you want to look around before they let the crowds in?”
“I don’t want to move.”
A smile stole across her face. “Me either.”
“How are you this morning?”
Worried you will change your mind about us. “I’m okay.”
“Okay? I was expecting a fantastic or a great at the least. But an okay...” Avery touched her face. His warm fingers stroked the side of her chin and stopped. “What’s bothering you?”
When had she become that obvious?
Cece looked away from his watchful eyes, focusing on how much her fingers enjoyed moving across his abs, just like she’d known they would.
She didn’t answer. What was she going to say?
I’m scared that you’ll regret last night. Regret us. That you can’t deal with my baggage.
All of that sounded so insecure, causing her stomach to turn at the fact that such thoughts were even forming in her head.
“Ce
ce you can talk to me.” The reassurance in his voice almost convinced her. “You can tell me anything.”
Cece remained quiet, not ready to get into anything deep like the night before. They would be separating for the rest of the weekend and she didn’t want to leave him knowing her insecurities about them.
Avery however, wasn’t letting it go. “Are you thinking up more excuses to keep us apart?”
“No!” She was scared he was doing that very thing.
Cece sat up pulling the blanket over her breasts to look at him. She hated that she felt like she was slinking into the insecure woman she’d once been. The woman that hid in her apartment and behind the closed doors of her office in fear of confronting people. That wasn’t who she was and lying around just holding onto him for one more second was pathetic. Rip the bandage off. She was beginning to hate that term. If he can’t handle it then you both move on. She would never be able to move on from Avery.
Avery reached over and turned on the bedside lamp. The glow trailed across his hands as he rubbed them across his face, moving into a sitting position against the headboard. Obviously prepared to fight. Fight for her, she loved that thought.
“I can’t get pregnant,” she said bluntly, louder than she’d expected it to come out slashing into the silence around them.
His eyebrows rose. She couldn’t tell if it was confusion or comical she saw, or a mixture of both. She found the statement nor confusing of comical. “And...” he waited.
“How do you feel about that this morning?”
“The same way I felt about it last night.”
Really? You do? In her head she sounded like an excited young teenager who was just asked out to the prom by the football star, but her voice came out different, weak, and sad. “I can’t get pregnant,” she repeated.
Avery sat up. He moved closer and cupped the side of his face. “Babe...”
Babe, she liked that. She loved the compassion in his tone. It didn’t touch anywhere close to the pathetic insecurities she felt.
“The fact you can’t have children hurts me more because of the pain it brings to you. That you feel this could chase me away or make me see you differently...it is so far from the truth.”
He’s not leaving. He’s not leaving!
Tears of happiness filled her eyes and rose that anchor.
“When that day comes in our lives...our lives,” he repeated like she would miss the word. “...that we are ready to have children, I will be by your side to make it the happiest moment. For you. For us. For our baby.”
Our baby? It was so soon to be talking about their future, their children...wasn’t it?
Cece wrapped her arms around his neck and he lifted her onto his lap.
“Are we good?” he asked into her hair.
Cece nodded. “Yes. I’ve never been better in my life.”
He chuckled. “I like that. But if you’re late today, you’re going to be madder than all hell.”
She wasn’t positive that was true. “Hmm...”
“We better get ready,” he said.
Cece ran her fingers down his chest and under the blanket. “We can start with a shower...together.”
Chapter Eighteen
WHEN THEY GOT back to the AHJ it was crazy busy. Staff buzzed around preparing for the gates to open. Crew members were double checking the stages, lights and effects while security grounded the yard.
It was incredible. It was amazing. It was Avery’s dream come true and he wanted to jump high and throw his fists in the air. He didn’t of course, not yet anyway...who knew what the day would bring.
As much as Avery had wanted to stay in bed with Cece all morning, all day, he was ecstatic to be attending the AHJ as a performing musician. Tomorrow afternoon his band would be climbing the stage with fans cheering on the music Avery wrote and the band that performed it...his band. It was the most mind-blowing sensation, far more invigorating then he’d ever imagined. Cece being responsible for landing them the amazing opportunity at the AHJ only tacked on his feelings for her.
Avery understood her worry. People would talk about them, judge their relationship once it went public and create their own conclusions, including but not limited, to the top of the list accusation: he was using her to get ahead in the business. Some would say that he couldn’t separate and define his feelings for her as a manager and as a girlfriend. He liked the sound of that, girlfriend.
Just like he had told Cece, it didn’t matter what other people thought or splashed across social media. They knew. Avery had known from the second he saw Cece Boyd in her sophisticated pencil-line dress and five inch heels two months ago, that she was the woman who was going to consume his heart. Her big, round, untrusting, but gentle eyes, had stolen his heart fulfilling the gap with love...her love. At that time, he hadn’t any idea she was an artist’s manager, but he sure felt what his body was telling him...he loved her. He loved her.
Cece had settled them in the merchandise tent the hour the gates opened, leaving them with a crew to sell their t-shirts, hoodies and hats to eager diehard fans while discovering new fans.
Each time Avery handed one of the band t-shirts to a fan he thought about Abby. For the last nine years or so, she transformed Inch Away’s tees into cut-up tank tops she wore on a regular basis. In the early high school years of Inch Away, Abby had learned how to silk screen onto t-shirts with the sole purpose of designing them band merchandise. She’d mastered the art, followed by a marketing scheme to sell them...which she also mastered. Abby mastered whatever she set her mind to. She was strong, independent and determined...a lot like Cece.
Avery still had some of the original silk screened t-shirts around and even now Abby still wore hers.
Thinking about his sister made him want her there even more to share this accomplishment with. She was a spirit of excitement that carried the sun in her smile, very rarely letting life bring around a frown, plus she was a bullet salesperson and could talk every last person who walked through the tent into buying merchandise, whereas the band were more interested in socializing with the fans.
The day flew by with the band switching it up from manning the tent to checking out bands playing on the stage. They were recognized at the AHJ. This crowd had their eyes peeled for members of the lineup and Avery still couldn’t believe he was part of that lineup. It was surreal.
Avery’s stomach rumbled its own tune as eight that evening rolled around and he realized he’d missed supper. The merch tent was closed and Avery found himself waiting in the back of a crowd with Sean, Drew and Ems as a band was preparing to perform. He was glad he and Drew had talked. It lightened the anger and betrayal Avery had been carrying around and let him release it making more room for what was happening between him and Cece.
His phone vibrated in his pocket and Abby’s name flashed across the screen along with a picture of her in one of his band shirts. How appropriate.
He slapped Sean’s shoulder to get his attention. “It’s Abby, I’m going to take it.”
Sean nodded.
Avery flipped his phone open.
“Tell me, tell me, tell meee!” Abby squealed into his ear and he had to pull the phone away to stop the ringing. When he replaced it, she was still talking. “How is it? Is it awesome? It’s awesome isn’t it? Of course it’s awesome! Is it everything you expected? Is it more? It’s more, isn’t it?” She groaned, but it wasn’t a low frustrated sound, instead a blend of a thrilled shriek. It was Abby completely and her voice tugged the already missing chords in his body. “I’m so jealous! I wish I was there. I’m coming. It’s decided I can’t stay away.”
Avery laughed, finding a quiet place along the fence line. Abby had been planning on tagging along to the AHJ before Peyton had been admitted to the hospital. Her bags had been packed for days sitting in the front hallway at Riley’s house.
“You should be here, cause it’s awesome,” he said, knowing that would get a rise out of Abby.
Abby squealed.
“I knew it. How famous are you? Tell me.”
“Oh, I’m famous. I’m top three bands here famous.”
Abby laughed then, catching his sarcasm. “You wish.”
“I do.”
“One day.” Always the positive woman.
“I know.”
“Okay so listen, I’ve totally been following your social media page, cause you know I’m not there. Which sucks.” That didn’t surprise Avery, but the tone turn of her voice had him wondering where this topic was heading. “It looks like you guys are having a great time. Saw lots of pics of the city and...” Avery braced himself. “Did you spend the whole day with Cece yesterday?”
Whole day and whole night. He wasn’t about to tell Abby over the phone.
“We’ve been with Cece since Wednesday morning, in case you’ve forgotten.”
“I don’t mean we brotha, I mean you.” He knew exactly what she meant.
“Get your ass in a car and drive down and find out.”
Abby gasped. “Jerk, that’s so cruel. And I might.”
“Why haven’t you already?” He could really use his sister’s support.
Abby’s voice sobered. “I’m still in Willow Valley.”
Fear took over Avery’s body. “Why? What’s wrong? Is Peyton alright? Did something else happen?” Why did he have to be so far away?
“No. Nothing happened. Peyton is fine. She’s at home and Colt’s keeping her in bed...”
“Oh Abby...” Her head was always in the gutter.
Abby laughed. “Not like that! Well...maybe like that. I’m not one hundred percent sure...”
“Make it stop,” he begged.
His sisters were way too vocal about their love lives and what occurred behind closed doors. There was a reason it was behind closed doors. Privacy. He could never envision himself sharing the special moments he had with Cece behind closed doors. It was so personal and private for just the two of them.
Abby was still going on about Peyton and Colt and the possibility they were doing more than watching television on her bed rest and Avery was losing his appetite with each word.
Lakeshore Lyrics: The McAdams Sisters (By The Lake Series Book 5) Page 15