“What do you mean?” Alfred asked. He did not particularly like the focus of attention being on himself, but he did wish to know what Laura thought of him.
“You obviously are very good at your job and enjoy the dangerous aspect of it,” Laura responded, seeming to study Alfred as she spoke. “But you are also very considerate. You’re helping me when you could have sent me on my way, even though it is inconveniencing you and maybe even putting you in danger. You are also very gentle.”
“Gentle?” Alfred spluttered. “I’ve never been called that before.”
“You were gentle with me in Baron Kersal’s house.” Laura said, pleased that she had made the controlled Alfred look uncomfortable.
“That was in the past,” Alfred said, not wishing to be reminded of one of the best nights of his life, even if it had been spent in the arms of a woman he had paid for. “Your turn.” he said, trying to draw Laura back to the game of cards.
They played game after game until the evening drew in and they needed to light candles. Laura set out some food and they sat comfortably on the sofa next to each other. They munched quietly for a while, before Laura placed down her plate, content for a while.
“So what do your family think of your job?” She asked.
“They don’t know.” Alfred said with a shrug.
“What?” Laura responded in surprise. “How would they feel if something happened to you and they hadn’t even known that you worked for Bow Street?” She knew how she would feel if anything had happened to him, and she knew what his job was.
“They would probably think that I had got the end that I deserved.” Alfred said, his brow furrowing.
“No!” Laura exclaimed in surprise. “How could someone think that of you? You are the most decent person I have ever known.” she said forcefully.
“Well I pity you,” Alfred said with genuine feeling. “You have seen me three times Laura, you know nothing about me, don’t fool yourself into thinking that you do.”
Laura reached over and cupped his cheek with her hand. She could feel the stubble that was developing as the day reached its close. “I’ve had to have the ability to read people quickly and although I admit that I have only been in your company a few times, I know this for a certainty Alfred, you are a decent man, so you can stop trying to convince me otherwise.”
Alfred closed his eyes for a second, enjoying her touch, before collecting himself and moving away from her hand. “You know nothing, Laura.” he said quietly and moved away from her.
Laura remained seated and watched as Alfred kicked at the cinders in the hearth. She wondered about the man standing before her, admitting that it was true that she knew very little about him. She was sure that her conviction was right though, he was a good man. Whatever secrets he hid, they had not corrupted him as they could have done, and he was risking his life every day to keep others safe.
Alfred cursed to himself as he stood, glaring down at the fire. He should never have let her into his rooms. She was a danger to him, because despite everything, he wanted her. Since meeting Laura, he had dreamed of a life that was beyond his reach, one in which he was a husband, had a wife with fiery red hair and they lived a decent life. Not one that virtually guaranteed that neither would reach old age, accepting that both had done things in the past that would make decent people shudder. She made him want what he could never have, and he cursed her for it.
Chapter 6
Neither Alfred nor Laura spoke until it was time to retire to bed. Both had been engrossed in their own private thoughts. Laura was the first to break the silence. “I didn’t know that doing nothing all day could be so exhausting.” she said with a yawn and a stretch.
Alfred smiled slightly, “Yes, the jobs where I am observing, leave me shattered at the end of my duty and very often I haven’t moved. Take the bed and I will see you in the morning.”
“You can’t sleep on this sofa again,” Laura said, standing up. “It’s barely comfortable to sit on all day, it must be a nightmare to sleep on it.”
Alfred did not know whether to laugh or to be annoyed. “It’s not very polite to criticise the standard
of your sanctuary.”
Laura grinned, “Is it a criticism, or is it that I’m speaking the truth?”
Alfred smirked, “Well whatever it is, the sofa is going to be my bed.”
“Why are you being so prudish?” Laura asked, “You weren’t the last time we met.”
Alfred scowled at the woman stood before him. Damn her for constantly reminding him of that last time. “Yes, but things have changed slightly since then, haven’t they?” He responded, making the glance at her swollen stomach, a pointed look.
Laura flushed, “I wasn’t offering you anything more than a comfortable bed!” she snapped. Embarrassed and hurt at Alfred’s harshness. “We have shared a bed before, why not have a comfortable night’s sleep? Neither of us is an innocent.”
He had hurt her and he was sorry the way he made snide comments to her about her condition. He was not being fair, he knew that. The problem was though, that it was a constant reminder to him that she had been with other men. He knew that it was unreasonable for him to react to her in such a way, it was a consequence of her job, but he could not stop himself. He had not been with another woman since he had first met her, no one had drawn him like she had.
Her words were sensible though. They need not be impractical, and there was not any reason why they should not share a bed. “Fine, as long as you truly don’t mind and promise not to take up the whole of the bed.” he muttered trying to lighten the mood.
Laura recovered quickly from her mortification and responded to Alfred in kind. “You are a sliver of a man, you shouldn’t need more than a corner anyway. There isn’t an ounce of meat on you.”
“There won’t be, what with needing to starve myself while pretending that I’m ill,” Alfred said, smacking her on the backside as she walked into the bedchamber. “Take up too much room and I’ll push you onto the floor.”
“Don’t ever go undercover as a gentleman, you would be useless at it.” Laura responded, looking over her shoulder.
They continued to banter until they were under the covers. Both had kept some clothing on, Laura, her chemise and Alfred had his breeches. Although it was the right decision to share the bed, there was obviously no use in putting too much temptation in each other’s way.
Alfred was disturbed from a dreamless sleep by small moans coming from Laura. At first he had thought that there must be something wrong with the baby, but it soon became apparent that she was having a bad dream. It was no surprise really, Alfred thought to himself. If he knew that someone was determined to kill him, he was not sure that he would rest easy.
He tried to shake Laura gently, but it only succeeded in making her more disturbed. Alfred groaned to himself, he could not leave her upset, so he started to stroke her face gently, whispering her name. It was a few moments before she slowly opened her eyes, almost as if she was frightened to do so.
“Alfred?” she asked, seeing his face close to hers. “What’s wrong?”
“Shh,” came the soothing voice. “You were having a nightmare.”
“I couldn’t reach you in time.” Laura said quietly, she looked afraid and vulnerable.
“I’m here, nothing is going to happen,” Alfred said, taking Laura into his arms and holding her close. “Go back to sleep, all is well.”
*
Laura awoke to the sensation of feeling wrapped up and secure. Alfred’s arms were holding her tightly as he slept, his body folded around hers from behind. She remembered being woken up during her nightmare and smiled to herself. He could say what he wished, but his actions proved even further that he was a decent man.
She lay perfectly still, this was the place where she wanted to be. If only it could last, if only it was happening for a different reason.
Alfred moaned in his sleep and moved his hand, it brushed her breast and he squeeze
d it, half asleep. Laura remained still, his touch made her insides stir, but she dared not move in case she woke Alfred. Laura knew the second he reached consciousness, because his hand stilled before moving carefully away from her. He withdrew and sat up on the edge of the bed, rubbing his hands through his hair and over his face.
“Morning,” Laura said, turning over to face his back and stretching.
“Laura…,” Alfred started.
“Don’t say anything, it was a nice way to wake up,” she said rubbing her hand gently across his back. Alfred turned slightly and looked at her. Laura smiled at him in reassurance. “Well I thought it was, anyway.” she said with a wink.
Alfred stood and laughed at her, the seriousness of his mood gone. “You will be the death of me woman, I hope Lord Halkyn replies soon.”
Laura remained on the bed until Alfred had washed and dressed. She had mixed feelings, she knew that they could not remain as they were indefinitely, but she could not deny that being so close with Alfred was the best thing that had ever happened to her.
During the day, Laura kept up the banter. She had decided that Alfred was far too serious for his own good and although she was in a precarious situation, humour had always got her through such situations before. So she teased and tormented him at every opportunity. She also touched him whenever she could. Each time it could be excused as accidental, but she used every opportunity to her advantage. The truth was that since she had woken up in his arms, she had wanted him.
Alfred was being driven to distraction, although he felt a little like a moth drawn to a flame. She was being funny, teasing, annoying, and oh so tempting. He could almost scream with frustration as she brushed against him again and again. The problem was, it was all done with so much humour and fun that he could not chastise her. He had never smiled as much in his life as he did that day, and his cheeks ached because of it. He was usually so serious and steady, able to keep his emotions in check, except when he was around Laura.
Late on in the afternoon she punched him as a response to something he had said and he grabbed her arm. “You aren’t being very nice to your rescuer.” Alfred responded, holding onto her arm at the wrist.
Laura used the contact to roll herself into his arms. “I can be nice if my rescuer wishes.”
Alfred stilled at the movement. He was so tempted, but his conscience would not let him. “Things have changed, Laura.” he said quietly.
“I am still me,” Laura said, seeing the battle going on within Alfred and reaching up with her free hand to brush back his hair gently. “Why not allow yourself to do what you want, and I know you want to, Alfred.”
Alfred closed his eyes, “I can’t Laura.” He said quietly, but firmly. “You are carrying a child, I can’t, no matter how much I may want to.”
Laura blinked back tears, “No matter how much I want you to?” She asked.
“I’m sorry Laura. I can’t,” Alfred responded, moving out of her touch, all the pleasure of the day gone. “I have to ask, would you not receive support from the father if he knew of your predicament? I have presumed not, with you coming to me, but maybe he would offer protection.” Alfred needed to get her away from him before he weakened, which wouldn’t be very long if the days continued the way they had today.
“If I was honest and told the father about the baby, he would not believe me.” Laura said, sitting down and not looking at Alfred.
The pain etched on Laura’s face, tore at Alfred’s insides. She must have thought highly of the father, he thought. He had the sudden need to get some fresh air. “I am going to visit Lord Halkyn’s address and see if there is anything that I can find out,” he said, moving to put on his frock coat. “I shall be back as quickly as I can.”
Laura was left alone, to come to terms with Alfred’s rejection. It was no real surprise that he had turned away from her, a man so steadfast would not want to bed a woman who was heavy with another man’s child. She sighed to herself, if only she could be brave enough to say the words, perhaps he would believe her and everything would be well.
She almost laughed at her foolish thoughts. Believe her? He had made it quite clear that he would not believe her if she told him the truth. People like her did not get happy endings, she had known that from a very early age. If she felt any sorrow, she only had herself to blame. She had never expected to be in contact with Alfred again when she had wished for a part of him. God had granted her wish, but it came with a catch; the father of her child was constantly rejecting her, and had told her clearly that he would not believe a woman of the night if she told him she was pregnant with his child.
The irony that Alfred was not only protecting her, but his own child and would never know that it was his, made her cry until the light outside had completely faded.
Chapter 7
Alfred walked to Lord Halkyn’s house on Belgrave Square. It was a substantial walk from where he lived, but he needed the exercise to burn off the frustration that spending so much time in Laura’s company had caused.
He could have easily bedded her. He wanted to more than anything else, but how could he have faced her or himself afterwards? No, he would help her and then leave her. He just hoped he could contact Lord Halkyn soon.
Alfred arrived at the house and groaned when he saw the knocker was removed. Why could life not be simple sometimes and have the person he needed to speak to in residence? He made his way through the wrought iron fencing that surrounded the basement area and walked down the steps. He knocked on the tradesman’s door and waited. Every house left staff to maintain the house whilst its family was away.
The door was opened by a young scullery maid. “Yes Sir?” she asked.
“Is the butler available?” Alfred remembered that Lord Halkyn had used his butler’s given name, but it was not appropriate that a visitor to the house took the same liberty.
“Who shall I tell him is calling?”
“Tell him Mr Peters.” Alfred said.
He was left to stand in the basement area, until a few moments later the butler opened the door and welcomed him inside.
“Good evening, Mr Peters, this is an unexpected pleasure.” Walter said, as cool and calm as always.
“Good evening, I was wondering if I could have a word with you in private?” Alfred asked. He did not want the staff overhearing any part of what he had to say.
“Certainly Sir, if you would follow me.” Walter said, leading the way down a stone corridor.
Rooms led off the corridor, all conducive to the smooth running of a large house, Walter continued until he reached the butler’s pantry. He led the way inside and closed the door once Alfred had entered. The room had a small fireplace in the corner, which was giving out a welcoming glow. A chair was placed at either side of the fireplace, obviously the location where the butler rested, if ever the opportunity arose. The walls were filled with shelves and cupboards, some of which were locked, probably containing some of the more expensive pieces of the dining silver. In the centre of the room was a large wooden table, showing signs of being well scrubbed over the years. It was a room that felt warm, but was very much a practical space.
Walter indicated that Alfred should take a seat on one of the chairs near the fire. “Would you like a glass of port Mr Peters? One of the advantages to working for Lord Halkyn is that he gives a generous allowance in port and wine for his senior staff.”
Alfred smiled slightly, “Yes please. You will have to excuse me, I’m afraid I only know you as Walter and not your family name. Lord Halkyn was always very familiar with you when I was in his company.”
Walter smiled, a smile full of affection. “Yes, since I was a young footman, Lord Halkyn has used my given name and so when I was fortunate enough to be promoted to butler, it just seemed odd reverting to a more formal address. Using Walter is fine, sometimes I forget I have another name, except when working with the younger staff of course.”
“Of course.” Alfred said, accepting the glass of port. He
remembered clearly the easy relationship that existed between the butler and the Lord. It was obvious that the butler had helped his employer out of many situations, the way Walter was prone to offer solutions. He was not surprised though, that although seeming to be one of the more relaxed members of his profession, with the other staff, he was still as formal as his peers.
“How may I help you?” Walter asked, after both men had taken a sip of their port and savoured the quality of it.
“I sent a letter a few days ago to Lord Halkyn and although I realise he is away from London, I wondered if you had any idea how quickly I would receive a response.” Alfred explained.
“Ah, there may be an unusual delay with regards to any reply.” Walter responded.
Alfred’s heart sank. “Why?”
“You are aware of Lord Halkyn’s recent marriage?” Walter asked. He continued when Alfred nodded in acknowledgement. “They have taken an extended wedding trip. Apparently Lady Halkyn had travelled so little prior to her marriage, that Lord Halkyn was determined to show her England, Scotland and Wales.” The words were said with approval. Walter had been delighted that the quiet Miss Webster he had first met on that strange night not so long ago, had been the one to tame his unruly master. It had been a further confirmation of Lord Halkyn’s affection when he had troubled himself to arrange such a long tour for the pleasure of his wife. He had been determined to give her a trip that would delight her.
“I thought they may still be on a tour after their marriage,” Alfred said. “I am surprised that it would cause such a delay though, they surely are receiving letters only a few days after they are delivered here?” Alfred knew full well the efficiency of the postal system that seemed to be able to track anyone down, anywhere in the country, almost in a matter of hours.
“Normally, yes,” Walter acknowledged, his face showing some amusement. “But Lord Halkyn said that he had wasted far too much time and was going to make every moment count with Lady Halkyn. He said that if anyone dared to contact them, unless there was flood, an invasion of locusts, or famine, they would receive no reference when he dismissed them.” The words had been uttered in Lord Halkyn’s usual forceful way and although at the time Walter had maintained his composure and assured his Lordship that there would be no disturbances, he had grinned all the way to the kitchen. His master was in love and long may it continue.
An Inconvenient Companion Page 5