by Dannika Dark
Logan whirled around and reached for Simon.
Another step closer and it would have been over, but Simon spun out of his grasp and threw energy into him. Logan shook like a bolt of lightning struck him, and I felt the residual power of Simon’s light in every part of his body that touched mine. His eyes flicked between all of us with no recognition.
I knew in my heart he was suffering.
“Levi, do something!” I begged. “There’s too much blood.”
“It’s beyond me. You’re the only one he is protecting, and only you can bring him back. He’s running on pure instinct now. He’ll kill us if we don’t kill him first. Control your emotions because that’s what he’s feeding off of. Don’t be afraid, and uh… try not to provoke him.”
“As compelling as that thought is, I’m not in the mood for Chitah jokes,” I said through clenched teeth.
“He’s in there. Just talk to him.”
I spread my fingers across his bloody cheek, and spoke in a soothing voice. “You need to let me go. There’s no one left to fight, Logan. They’re all dead.” I slid my leg up and he shifted his body, growling at the empty space beside Justus.
Adam appeared, and the tension snapped.
“What the fuck is he doing?” Adam shouted.
Simon and Justus caught his arms, pulling him back before he got any closer. “Get him off of her! What the hell are you just standing around for?”
His words and scent were inciting Logan to violence. They placed hunger on his pallet and thirst in his eyes.
“Relax,” Simon said. “Think of your mouth as gasoline and that Chitah as a raging fire. Silver is the only water who can put him out.”
Well said, I had to hand it to him.
I grabbed Logan’s jaw and turned his head. “Hey you! Don’t look at them; look at me you big ol’ pussycat.”
The cut on his head still leaked blood, and I wiped it from his eyes as I tried to think of a story. “Remember, we have a date to finish. Only this time, I want to do something outdoors. Do you want to know one thing I’ve never done? When I was a teenager, the kids used to watch meteors out in the field.” Telling the story was calming, and removed me from the situation. “They would park their pickup trucks and lay blankets out in the grass. Most of the boys snuck beer out of their house, but other kids used to bring chicken and potato chips. It was a big deal whenever one came around, but I never went. It was mostly something that couples did, and I guess I was never lucky enough to have a boyfriend whenever the stars were falling, and the ones I did never asked. I’m sad those days are gone. I had expectations and hopes about my future, and none of the men I dated in my twenties lived up to that.” Logan’s body relaxed and he looked at Adam. It reminded me that we had a captive audience.
“Back off and give us some privacy,” I said. “He’s not going to calm down with all of you crowding him.”
They dismantled from their huddle, nearly dragging Adam with them until we were alone.
I stared up once more at his long, white teeth. “Logan, I need to tell you something important. Maybe all you can understand is the tone of my voice, but I need to be honest with you.”
His eyes drifted over my expression and he sniffed, as if that were the only sense he had of what I was saying. I tested the sharpness of his tooth with my thumb. Logan lifted his chin away and snapped his jaw shut.
“I once told you I didn’t want you, remember?”
He licked his lips and I averted my eyes.
“I lied. This is something I’ve struggled with, because I haven’t had much luck in this department. I want you, Logan, and I haven’t felt like this in a long time about another man. That’s a big deal, in case you didn’t notice. I don’t know how much of myself I can offer you because I’m not ready to be pushed into something serious.” I took a deep, shaky breath, not realizing how hard it was to confess my feelings. Logan was not the type of man I would have imagined myself falling for. “You need to give me time if you’re serious. I just want you to know that your efforts aren’t in vain.”
I couldn’t explain why I felt such a connection to Logan. I made so many mistakes in my life that I was afraid to make a choice that could end up in me getting hurt. It was easier to admit the truth when I knew he wasn’t listening—like a confessional—and a burden lifted from my shoulders.
Except when I looked back up, two golden eyes were staring into mine. The coloring of his skin was normal, his incisors pulled back, and a strong, wounded arm pulled me against him.
“It’s about time you admitted it.”
That cocky bastard. As much as I wanted to slap him, all I could do was stroke his jaw.
Levi ran in first and slid to his knees. “Lo, how you feeling?”
Logan smiled weakly. “Good to see you, Levi. What took you so long?”
***
In the back of an empty van, Logan’s head rested in my lap. My fingers combed through bloody strands of matted hair, and his fading eyes met mine with adoration. I tried desperately not to look at the blood pumping out of the most serious wound.
“Where did you get the van?”
“It’s an old standby of mine,” Simon replied. “We needed something with enough room for the lot of us. The engine was rebuilt for speed, although you have to hang on during the turns,” he added with a smile. “That’s how we roll, as they say.”
“Somehow, that just doesn’t sound the same coming from your mouth.”
Levi attempted to heal the superficial cuts on Logan’s face and arms, but he could do nothing for the deep wounds on his side and stomach. My skin went ice cold as I looked at the quantity of blood loss.
Simon pressed a towel against the wound, and Logan’s radiant skin was now chalky. Why wasn’t he healing?
“We’re almost home, Logan. We’ll get you some help,” I said in a determined voice. “The next time you sit on me and keep me from fighting, I’m going to kick your ass.”
Logan tried to smile.
“Can he die from this?” Justus asked Levi from the front of the van.
Logan’s brother pushed his palms against the dash. “Something’s wrong,” he whispered to Justus. “A stab wound won’t kill us; he should have started healing by now. If he continues losing blood…. What the hell was he stabbed with?”
“Magic,” I blurted out. “They kept me in chains that blocked my abilities. Finn implied it worked on everyone, not just Mage.” It was possible that when this type of metal mingled with our blood, it would delay healing, or prevent it. Logan was bleeding out. That was a fact.
“Hey,” I said, brushing my thumbs over his high cheekbones.
When he saw the worry in my eyes, he kissed my palm. That single gesture opened up the dam, and I turned my head away from everyone. I held my breath and shut my eyes as hot, stinging tears slammed against my lids. My cheeks burned and my chest swelled with a flood of emotion. The reaction was so unexpected that I couldn’t control it.
Something tugged at the ends of my hair. I looked down to see Logan twirling some of it between his fingers—the way he did when we first met. Except now, I felt different about the way he looked at me, the way he touched me.
Adam’s posture was like a willow tree—knees bent with his arms slung over them. His face was expressionless, until he saw tears spill over my lashes. I threw myself down and covered Logan’s face with mine. My hair showered us like a curtain.
“Don’t cry, my black-haired raven.”
I kissed the soft corners of his lips and whispered into his ear, “You’re the most worthy man I have ever known.”
He was. He truly was. Of all the men in that van who defended me when the time was appropriate, Logan defended me always. Even in a state of mind where he had no control, he was ready to throw away his life for me. I so poorly judged his character, and underestimated that a man could redeem himself. He didn’t kill that evening because what I said to him mattered. It did not justify his past, but should I judge the man that he was,
or the man that he was becoming?
He fought to stay conscious.
The engine roared as I felt quiet eyes watching us. I kissed him and whispered, “Kiss me back.”
I jerked my head up. “What are you doing?” I hissed.
Adam’s hand was on top of the open wound, and something animalistic raged inside of me when I saw the blood oozing between his fingers. Something possessive.
“Get your hands off of him!”
Caught in a maelstrom of emotions, I tried to shove him away, but he didn’t budge.
“Adam, you’re hurting him!”
“Silver, let him,” Simon said, snatching my hand and throwing a serious glare. “Adam can help.” Logan lifted a weak arm and pulled Simon’s hand away from my wrist. Simon obligingly let go and nodded once at him.
Adam pressed his brows together and I thought I saw a pop of light—like a flashbulb. He groaned weakly and fell back, slumping against the wall on the other side.
My eyes widened when Logan’s wound began to close. The skin stitched together by a current of magic, and he strained to pull himself up.
“Adam, what did you do? What is it that no one is telling me?”
Justus stared through the visor mirror before turning around to look at us. The van pulled off to the side, and someone reached up to flip on the interior light.
“Logan, lie down,” I ordered.
Ignoring me, he leaned forward and rubbed his hand over his stomach, where blood no longer flowed.
“How did you do that? I thought we could only heal our own kind?” I asked in disbelief.
“It’s his gift,” Simon replied. “Adam is a Healer, and that is a rare gift. It allows him to heal all Breed.”
“How do you know?”
Justus and Levi climbed into the back, squatting next to Simon.
“Does your maker know?” Justus asked.
“Yes,” Adam replied, obscuring his face from mine as he memorized the floor. “We’ve tested it, and there are limitations.”
“A rare gift, indeed,” Justus said with admiration. “He must be proud of his Learner.”
My Ghuardian gave him a firm pat on the shoulder.
Levi looked at Adam with a solemn gaze. “I’m in your debt for saving my brother, Mage.”
Adam never lifted his eyes, but scratched the dark stubble on his face. “You are not in my debt, Chitah. Don’t hold that to me because I won’t honor it.”
When we arrived at Justus’s garage, everyone hopped out, including Logan who was on the mend.
“Can you give us a minute?” I asked Logan, motioning to Adam who hadn’t looked at me the entire ride back. He nodded and shut the door, leaving us alone.
“Adam, please talk to me.” I crawled beside him, resting my head on his shoulder. “I may never know why you did it, but I know all the reasons why you didn’t have to.”
In a long sigh, he spoke. “If all I can ever give you in this world is happiness—even if it means letting you go—then I’ll do it. I saw the way you held him, and kissed him. I know you care for me, Silver, but you’ve never looked at me the way you look at Logan, and you barely know him. I’ve done a lot of bad shit in my life. Maybe I don’t deserve happiness.”
“Don’t say that. You know it isn’t true.” My heart broke for him.
“Isn’t it? I’ve tried to turn a new leaf and look how it’s worked out.”
“You’re a Healer, Adam. That gift could have been wasted on some jerk who doesn’t care what happens to anyone, but you care. You have a lot of hurt in there, but I can’t fix it. No one can fill the hole your twin sister left behind, but someday you’ll find someone to take care of. If you loved me that much, you would have thrown Logan out on his ass when he told everyone he was courting me. I know that much about the kind of man you are. You came into my life for a reason. Maybe this is it.” It felt like the right thing to say, although I wasn’t a believer in fate.
“To save the love of your life, and not to be it.”
I chuckled softly. It was all I could do. Adam never professed his undying love for me; that was an unspoken fact we both knew. I never declared my undying love for Logan, either. Somewhere in his words was sarcasm.
“I know,” he said, waving a dismissive hand.
“Why did you help him?”
“Because,” he sighed, “I’d never be able to look you square in the eye again if I didn’t. You would have discovered my secret eventually, and then you would have despised me—resented me—for choosing not to step in.”
I tilted his chin to look at me. “I’ll always love you. It may not be what you want to hear, or the kind of love you want, but that’s where I am right now. You mean too much to me to screw it up with a failed relationship. I’m sorry that I’ve been harsh about it; I just don’t know how else to be. I need you as my friend, and maybe someday you’ll tell me the truth about fighting Samil.”
His face paled. The primary reason may have been me, and his sense of good and right, but beneath the layer of heroics, there was another secret he kept hidden. I’d felt it for a long time. Adam was worse than a bank vault; I learned early on that I could yell, ask, and annoy all I wanted—but he would never tell me something he intended to keep to himself. Not wanting to risk placing a fracture in our relationship, I didn’t press.
“What you said to Levi was true. It’s not his debt to pay. It’s mine. I owe you for this, and someday I’ll repay it.”
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“For what?”
“I’m done chasing you. Someday you might see you missed a good thing, or not.” He lifted a shoulder and looked down at my hand. “I can’t see the point of going on like this.”
“Me neither, and you are a good thing.” I poked my finger at his chin. “Just look at that face; you could get any woman you wanted, you know. Who knows, maybe a thousand years from now—”
Adam playfully grabbed my nose and I laughed. I leaned in and kissed his mouth softly. It was the kind of kiss that let him know I would always be there for him. Through all the missteps in our relationship, I knew more than anything how much I needed him in my life.
“Your sister was lucky, Adam. She couldn’t have asked for a better brother, and I hope you know that. I envy the relationship you had with her, and would have wanted someone just like you in my life to look after me. She’d be so proud of you now.”
Adam teared up and stared at the ceiling. “I hate to admit it, but I miss you calling me Razor.”
“Then let it be between us,” I said, slapping his arm. “C’mon, Razor, let’s go get some grub.”
Chapter 32
As much as Logan insisted on licking my wounds, I relied on my Ghuardian to heal me. I sat at the dining table, stuffing a meatball sandwich into my mouth as I recounted my story to Logan.
“He washed your feet?”
I nodded and licked my thumb. “Right after Nero gave him the lashing of his life, there he was, tending to my injuries. He’s a tough kid. I just… I can’t leave him there with Nero.”
Logan exchanged a nod with Levi and left the room.
Justus and Adam went back for the other two who escaped with me; they wouldn’t have gotten far in their condition.
“Levi, do you think you can track my scent back to the compound? I left a trail.”
“I noticed,” he chuckled. “Unless you were setting a new fashion trend.”
“Funny,” I said, lacking humor in my tone.
Levi stared up at the painting on the wall behind Justus’s chair. “For sure. I got a nose for trouble.” The bottle of beer tilted, and he enjoyed a long swallow.
Simon was unusually quiet, stirring a spoon in the coffee from the other side of the table. He dropped a third cube of sugar into the steaming liquid, and the metal spoon clinked against the cup. He kicked back the chair and disappeared, returning with his laptop. The next thing I knew, he was staring at satellite imagery.
A man like Nero requir
ed a lot of land. I described the size of the house and surrounding structures, hoping Simon found something on the Internet versus Logan snooping around Nero’s property. The more I thought about it, the less I liked that idea.
It felt as if my eyes were stitching together. I rubbed at them, tired from the flashing and tree climbing, but I forced myself to stay awake and talk out some of the details. It was amusing to think how my days of eating chips on the sofa as a human were replaced by life-and-death situations. What a remarkable life it turned out to be, after all.
Then there was Logan, who insisted on removing my jeans to run his tongue over a scratch on my leg. Oh, he made it sound clinical, but I had no desire to see everyone’s reaction as he licked me from head to toe. I could have waited until morning, but Justus saw to the blisters on my feet and the scratch on my leg from the bullet.
Logan strutted in, dropped to his knee, and buried his head beneath my shirt. He rubbed his face against my bare stomach as I awkwardly watched him. He wasn’t kissing, nor was he inspecting the size of my jeans. He was inhaling a long, deep breath. I squirmed in my chair when a flutter in his throat tickled my skin. What kind of a world it would be if people freely expressed themselves this way, without inhibitions? I ran my fingers through his clean hair and let go of the embarrassment.
He rose to his feet with hooded eyes, and abruptly left the room.
Simon was busy scribbling something on a sheet of white paper while Levi was sipping his beer.
“Why does he keep doing that?” I asked, running my finger through a candle flame.
“You mean smelling you?” Levi laughed. “I thought you knew.”
I gave him a questioning look. Levi stretched his tattooed arm across the table, rolling a bottle cap between two fingers.
“He’s tracking the scent on you.”
My heart skipped a beat.
“That’s right, Mage. I never thought my big bro would cross over to the dark side, but I’m not one to lay judgment, as I’ve taken a vacation there myself a few times. You don’t have to tell us the little details of how you got that key from the guard, but it’s all over you, honey.”