He looked to Sean and Molly first and then stepped in close to take her.
He’d held babies before, but never one this new or fresh. Never one this pink and small and perfect. Beneath her tiny knit cap, she had a shock of white-blond hair, ocean-blue eyes that only opened for him for a second, and the tiniest rosebud of a mouth. She weighed nothing in his arms, and after one whiff of her perfect head, he finally got the whole new-baby-smell thing.
* * *
Gwen wasn’t surprised when the nurse came in and suggested they give the new family some quiet time to rest. Sean was going to stay in the hospital with Molly, and good luck to any nurse who tried to kick him out.
Brody was on the phone by the gift shop, a large shopping bag in hand, when Gwen stepped out of the ladies’ room. She could only imagine him picking out baby things and wished she’d been there to see it. Or maybe not. She had it bad enough for him already, and she couldn’t imagine the sight of those enormous hands fingering through tiny baby garments would make it any more manageable.
“I got a room at the hotel down the road. Figured I’d at least stay the night. Be around if they need anything tomorrow. But I can give you a lift back to Dobson tonight—or tomorrow morning, if you’d rather stay.”
Stay? With him?
He cleared his throat, glancing away. “I mean, I could get you your own room.”
Of course that’s what he’d meant. And even if it hadn’t been, it’s what she should have wanted. But either way, it didn’t matter because—
“Gwennie!”
Brody tensed at the sound of her name echoing down the hall. And then they both turned to where Ted was closing the distance between them at a slow jog.
He’d made it. The guy always came through, even when Gwen tried to talk him out of it.
“I’m so sorry you had to drive all the way out here. Thank you,” she said.
He looked back and forth between her and Brody. “Anything for you, babe.”
Babe?
“Damn, no idea how people managed to find each other before cell phones.” Ted chuckled, coming up to her side. “Made it out here faster than I thought, but then spent the last twenty minutes scouring the hospital for you.”
She raised her hands with a helpless laugh. “Sorry, I didn’t think to set up a spot to meet.”
“Don’t worry about it. Neither did I.” He pushed a hand through his neat hair. “O’Donnel, you come in with the new dad?”
Brody looked down at his shoes and took a deep breath before bringing his head up. “Yeah. Quite a day.”
They all nodded as the silence grew uncomfortable. Then Ted was diving back in. “So do we still have a stray car out on the highway that needs picking up?”
Gwen’s heart sank. The car. She’d completely forgotten about it. Swallowing past the knot in her throat, she nodded. “I know where it is, if you don’t mind adding even more driving onto the day.”
“Not at all. How about we grab a cup of coffee and something for the road, because I’m starving. We’ll ride out together, and you can drive it back here. Yeah?”
Gwen shuddered. She felt like she could barely walk, let alone get behind the wheel of a car and drive. But she didn’t want to leave it for Sean to deal with over the next couple of days either.
“Sure,” she agreed at the same time as Brody said, “No.”
He met her eyes and then turned back to Ted. “How about we give Gwen a break, and you and I go get the car? I booked a room down the road where she can take a shower and change into some clean clothes.” He held up his shopping bag. “It’s just some stuff from the gift shop. It probably won’t fit great, but I figured at least they’d be clean.”
At that moment, it didn’t matter that he’d broken up with her. That he’d broken her heart. He could have broken the planet in half, and she still would have thrown herself into his arms. Hugging him with the little might she had left, she whispered, “Thank you.”
The arms that were always so quick to pull her in closer remained at his sides, and his only response was a gruff “Welcome.”
Chapter 26
Ted didn’t look any more excited about the prospect of spending the next half hour together than Brody was. But honestly, it was the best solution. No way was Sean leaving Molly. It didn’t make sense to have the car towed thirty miles. And Gwen looked like she could seriously benefit from a little privacy and quiet.
They went over to the hotel from the hospital, and Brody got checked in while Gwen waited in the lobby and Ted got a sandwich from the restaurant. He could tell Ted didn’t like leaving him alone with Gwen, and if the tables were turned, Brody would have felt the same way. Hell, he did feel the same way. The idea of them together… It was tough.
And after a month, it wasn’t getting any easier.
“Here are your key cards, Mr. O’Donnel,” the clerk behind the counter said, handing them over with Brody’s receipt.
He thanked him and turned. Gwen was sitting where he’d left her ten minutes before, tucked into an uncomfortable-looking sofa, a vacant look in her eyes.
Damn, it hurt to see her so worn out.
When he walked over, she looked up at him, offering a small smile. “Everything set?”
“I feel like maybe I should carry you, you look so beat.” The words were out of his mouth before he’d thought better of them, and then he was kicking himself, because that bare hint of a smile was gone.
He didn’t get to carry her anywhere anymore.
He didn’t get to joke about it, or remind her of it, or do any of the other things he wanted to do.
“I think I’ve got it,” she said, pushing up from her seat. But even that small effort left her wobbling on her feet.
He steadied her with a hand at her elbow, and then—because she needed the support and not because he needed to feel her against him—he pulled her in to his side and wrapped an arm around her as they walked toward the elevator. “Come on, Gwen.”
The hotel was small, with only three floors, and his room was on the top. When they got there, he guided Gwen to sit at the edge of the bed. He dumped out his gift-shop purchases beside her.
“I didn’t know what you might want, so I tried to cover the bases.” When Gwen picked up the purple sweatshirt with the orange logo from the local high school, he added, “The selection was limited.”
There were tears in her eyes when she blinked up at him. “I love it.”
Yeah, well, he loved her. And the words were springing around on the tip of his tongue, begging for him to open his mouth. Instead, he headed into the bathroom and turned on the shower for her.
Meeting his reflection in the mirror, he was surprised to see how normal he looked.
Because he felt like he was dying.
One deep breath and a stern reminder to fucking man-up later, he walked back out. Gwen was still on the bed, all the gift-shop supplies he’d bought for her laid out in a neat row. “Shower’s going. We’ll be gone about an hour, so take your time. You’ve got a key card on the end table and some cash in case you decide you want to go downstairs and get something to eat. Or if they have room service, which I kind of doubt, knock yourself out.”
“You got this for me?” she asked, that one last-second purchase cradled in her hands.
It was a stuffed teddy bear, a little smaller than Baby Wyse, with scruffy brown fur and a sign tucked between its arms that read, YOU DID IT!
Brody could feel the heat crawling into his cheeks, because seriously, what had he been thinking? Except that he was so proud of her. So grateful. So fucking in love. He’d just wanted her to have something that expressed the first two, since chances were, he wouldn’t have much opportunity to do it in person.
“Thought you deserved a little cuddle from someone who appreciates what you did today. Silly. Impulse buy. Seemed funny at t
he time, but you don’t need to—”
“It’s perfect. Thank you.”
“Try to get some rest.”
Ted was pacing in front of the elevators when Brody got back downstairs.
“Everything okay up there?” Ted asked, looking like he might want to go and check for himself.
“Yeah. You ready?”
Shoving his hands in the pockets of his coat, Ted jutted his chin at him. “Coat?”
Shit. Gwen had still been wearing it when he left. Probably not something Ted wanted to hear. “Don’t need it. Let’s go.”
It was already dark when they got on the road. Brody had directions from the paramedics who’d taken the call, and the GPS on his phone was lighting up the interior of Ted’s sedan. It was a cramped fit for him, as with most cars, but the main source of discomfort was the forced proximity to the dead-last guy he wanted to be packed in with.
“Should be coming up in another five minutes or so.”
A stiff nod was Brody’s response. Perfect.
Surrounded by farmland, there was nothing for them to see but the swath of light on the road ahead of them. He rubbed his chest, thinking about how Gwen must have felt. How helpless and afraid.
“Pretty remote,” Ted remarked as if reading his thoughts.
“Lucky they weren’t farther out.”
Another mile marker passed in silence and then, “I don’t know why you did it. But it was the right thing.”
Brody’s muscles locked, and he pushed a long stream of breath out through his teeth. He didn’t want to do this. Not with fucking Ted.
Not now. Not ever.
Staring out over the dash, he gave the only answer he could. “I wanted her to be happy.”
Ted was nodding like he got it. Which Brody hoped to hell was true, but if he did, then why was he asking?
“She will be.”
Brody’s head snapped around. “She isn’t already?”
“What?” Ted stiffened in his seat. “I mean, yes, she is. I’m only talking about this today. It’s been a rough one for her, and she’ll be happy to get home.”
The muscles along Brody’s spine were prickling. His eyes narrowed.
He didn’t want to ask Ted or have to take his word for anything. But Brody didn’t have anything to go on. He’d been talking himself out of calling her or getting in his damn car and driving to go see her for weeks. And yeah, he knew she wasn’t the type to go from Brody’s bed to Ted’s overnight, but this was the guy she’d been in love with forever, while Brody had been a fucking blip in her life. And it had been a month.
“You’re together, then?”
The light from the GPS was enough so he could see Ted swallow and his eyes cut over to him. “Getting there. You know how Gwen is. I mean, it’s definitely coming, but she doesn’t…you know…from one guy to the next.”
You know.
Brody was pretty sure he knew what you know meant. And while hearing that Gwen hadn’t yet was like a freaking balm to his soul, surprisingly, it wasn’t doing as much as he’d hoped to quell the need to drag Ted from the car and pound the snot out of him for even thinking about Gwen and you know.
Blowing out another steady breath, Brody made himself ask the only other question he had to have answered.
“But you told her, right? Everything. She knows how you feel.”
Ted straightened and met his eyes dead-on. “She knows.”
Brody rubbed a hand over his face. “That’s good.”
A minute later, Ted put on his signal. “There’s a car up there.”
* * *
Once he got back to the hotel, Brody texted Sean that he had the car and he’d bring the keys by when he saw him in the morning. He gave the plates and his room number to the woman at the front desk and then headed up to get Gwen.
He wanted her to be happy.
She will be.
Fuck. He was grasping at straws again, seeing what he wanted to see and hearing what he wanted to hear…because he wanted her, and he’d take any excuse he could find to justify that pursuit.
The lights were on in the room when he let himself in, and Gwen was asleep on the bed. She’d showered and changed into the clothes he’d gotten her, and he could smell the hotel shampoo in the air around her. She must have only gotten her hair half dry before she knocked off, because it was doing that rebellious, wavy thing that happened if she didn’t get it all the way dry. He loved her hair like that. A little loose and wild. Soft like silk between his fingers. She had his coat clutched in her arms, and when he looked closer, the bear he’d given her too.
Ted had pulled into the Mobil station when they got back in town, which gave Brody a few minutes before he had to give her up all over again. He sat on the edge of the bed beside her. It was more than he ought to let himself have and less than he wanted, but his feet stayed on the floor, and that was as much of a compromise as he could make.
Thinking she might be cold, he started to ease the jacket from her grasp so he could lay it over her shoulders until Ted showed up. He’d barely moved it an inch when her brow furrowed and her body curled in on itself.
He chuffed a quiet laugh and let her have it, giving in to the idea that some small part of her might be holding it close because it was his.
A few strands of that honeyed blond fell across her face, and she wrinkled her nose. Telling himself it was to help her sleep, he brushed the strands back and tucked them behind her ear.
Her lashes fluttered, and he held his breath as her lids lifted. Sleep-hazed eyes met his, and the corner of her mouth curved as she let out a tiny purr of contentment that went straight to his groin.
“Mmm, Brody,” she said breathlessly, reaching for him as she had that last morning they were together in Chicago.
Her fingers grazed his arm, and it was as if a current shot through him, jolting his half-dead heart back to life.
Only she must have felt it too, but not in any good way, because her hand snapped back, and when the sleep cleared from her eyes, she looked away.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to…shit… Sorry. We’re back,” he muttered, feeling like an ass for waking her. For touching her at all.
She was pushing up to sit, inching away as she did. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep like that. I only wanted to close my eyes for a minute.”
“You needed the rest.” Fuck, why couldn’t he have kept his hands to himself? “Wish I could have let you sleep the whole night.”
“That would have been an awkward morning after. Waking up to your ex in your bed.” Holding up the bear he’d given her, she tried to tease, sounding as uncomfortable as he felt. “Her favorite stuffed animal staring you down.”
There were worse ways to wake up. But instead of telling her that, he took a deep breath and made himself put some distance between them. He went to the window and looked out over the parking lot below.
He could see Gwen in the reflection from the glass, there but not there. She was looking around as if she didn’t quite know what to do with herself. What to say. Which probably hurt worse than anything else. The words had always been so easy between them. So right.
“I miss this.”
Another jolt to his heart. He turned, not sure he’d heard her right.
“I miss having you as my friend.” Right, her friend. He nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Because he missed that too. And more.
Her head came up, and she lifted her shoulder in one of those helpless shrugs. “I kept thinking I might hear from you.”
“You were waiting for me to call?”
She wagged her head. “I mean, not because I thought you’d changed your mind or anything. But because you have this sort of crazy reputation for staying friends with everyone you date. So I thought…” Her smile turned bright, and she pulled a little face. “But you didn’t. I
t’s okay. It might have even been better. But I guess I wondered why you didn’t want that with me. Because I’d kind of thought we’d been pretty good friends was all.”
She was killing him. How was he supposed to answer her? How was he supposed to tell her that he couldn’t be her friend because she was the first woman he’d ever looked at and known he would never, ever be able to leave it at that?
Look at him tonight. He’d sworn he wasn’t going to do anything more than give her a place to clean up. But then he’d been sitting beside her on the bed while she slept. Touching her hair. And when she’d said his name and reached for his hand, fuck, he’d been a single breath from pulling her into his arms and begging her for one more night. For one more hour. One more minute when he could pretend she was his.
There was a knock at the door, and Gwen blinked a few times, clearing the vulnerability and questions from her eyes. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Gwen.” Christ, it mattered.
She smiled brightly and walked over to hand him his jacket. “Thank you again for the room and the clothes. For everything. Gotta run.” Pulling another one of those goofy faces, she went to the door. “I’ve probably kept Ted waiting long enough, right?”
The air rushed out of him in a punch.
“Bye, Brody.”
Chapter 27
The door latched shut behind her, and Ted gave her a nervous laugh.
“Thought I was going to have to send a search party for you in there… Hey, Gwennie, you okay?”
Her hands were shaking, and the smile she’d forced into place crumbled.
No, she wasn’t okay.
“Can we go?” She couldn’t handle it if Brody opened the door and found her out in the hall about to ugly cry because her heart wouldn’t stop breaking for him.
“Yeah, hey, that’s fine.”
Only it didn’t feel fine. And with every step she took, the sense of dread and loss got worse.
He’d left her. Ended their relationship in no uncertain terms. And while he’d been generous and protective with her all day, it hadn’t actually been about her as much as making sure the woman who had helped his best friend was taken care of. It was about Brody being decent and good and the kind of man who did the right thing, whether it made him uncomfortable or not. Right?
Decoy Date Page 23