by Shannon West
Kingston’s room was surprisingly clean and austere. Not a lot of clutter, like most guys’ rooms. The suites came furnished, but he still hadn’t done much to put his mark on the room, like most of us did with bedspreads and books and pictures on the walls. He had some stuff, of course, just not a lot. He had mostly textbooks stuffed into his bookcase, along with a few of his trophies. There were only a couple posters on his walls. One was a poster of Mars, like those on tv taken by the small, unmanned landing crafts. Most of the scene was of barren hills in a brownish red landscape. Beautiful in a way, but alien and stark. Then, surprisingly, over his bookshelf, he had a Dr. Seuss poster of the cat in the hat. It said, “A person’s a person, no matter how small.”
Odd little quote. I wondered if he believed that, and if he ever felt small. It killed me to think he might have felt that way.
I heard the little moan again and went over to open the bathroom door. I didn’t fling it open this time, but eased it open instead, so I wouldn’t startle him if he had a sharp object in his hand, like I thought he must have. The bathroom was steamy and warm, as I stepped inside, but I saw him right away through the only partially fogged glass door. He was leaning against the shower wall with his head back and his eyes closed, his earphones on, and a razor blade in his hand, making the short little cuts on his abs again, on the other side this time. He had two done, the blood trailing down in little rivulets from the cuts. His face had a look of mindless relief. He was flying already, but looked like he was still about to start another cut when I opened the shower door and grabbed his hand to jerk it away from his skin.
He gasped as his eyes flew open and for a second, I thought he was going to fight me. Then he lowered his eyes and relaxed his hand to give me the blade. I threw it into the sink behind me and turned back to face him, but he wouldn’t meet my eyes. Furious, I grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the stall, reaching for a towel to wrap him in. When I tried to dry him off though, he jerked the towel out of my hand.
“I can dry myself. I don’t need your fucking interference!”
“Oh, is that right?”
His eyes flicked up to me and I saw the worry and fear that he was trying to hide before he ducked his head away again. “Fuck you, Sawyer! Leave me alone! I’m getting out of here right now—I can leave this suite—hell, leave this school if I want to and never come back! A lot of people have told me I should have transferred after I lost my spot on the team! So, you don’t get to tell me what to do!”
I folded my arms and stared at him. “You’re absolutely right. You can leave here right now if you like, and I’ll even promise you that I’ll keep all your secrets. But if you walk out that door tonight, we’re done. You want me to leave you alone? Okay, I will. Even though it will kill me to watch you go.”
He looked up at me, and I don’t even think he even knew he was trembling. It was all I could do not to wrap him up in my arms, but that wouldn’t help him. Not yet, anyway.
“Or…” I said, stepping toward him and holding out my hand to him. “You can decide to stay here with me. You can make a choice about what you want to do with the rest of your life and then make it happen.” I leaned toward him a little. “You can let me help you do that, because I really want to.”
Those beautiful eyes of his flashed at me. But he was shaking so hard I thought his knees would give out before much longer. He shook his head then, his voice desperate and soft.
“But what if you can’t help me? What if nobody can?”
The wild grief in his voice almost killed me, but my being weak now wouldn’t help him now. He needed my strength. “Stop analyzing it to death. You’ve done that all your life and it hasn’t helped. It’s caused you to cut your own flesh to let out the stress and pain and it doesn’t help! Not for long enough anyway. It comes roaring back at you, doesn’t it? Aren’t you tired yet, baby? Don’t you want some help to make it all stop?”
“H-how will you stop it? You said you want me to be your sub. Why? So you and your friends can laugh at me and make fun of me? Poor stupid Kingston. He used to be a quarterback, you know. He won championships for his team, but look at him now.”
I did wrap my arms around him then and sat down with him on the side of the tub, because I couldn’t help myself. I pulled his body close and held him as he trembled in my arms. “I know this is scary, baby. But you have to believe me now. Giving me your trust must seem crazy to you after we’ve been at such odds. Circumstances have made us rivals, but I don’t want that anymore. You want to walk away from the team? Okay, I’ll walk with you. We’ll both go. Whatever it takes to convince you that I will never betray your trust.”
With some still rational part of my mind, I realized I had called him “baby” twice now, and I couldn’t seem to stop. Didn’t want to stop.
“Ever since you danced with me, we’ve both wanted more, and it scared us both to death, because we’re supposed to be rivals. Enemies, in a way. I didn’t know you were anything I’d ever want, but that night you felt like everything I ever needed. I think it was the same for you, Kingston. You want to know if I’m full of shit or if I can really give you the things you need, and I believe I can. Sure, you can leave, but if you do, we’ll both spend the rest of our lives wondering what could have happened if we’d tried. I think I can help you, if you let me. If you can turn your problems over to me and let me take control.”
“How do I do that?”
“By submitting to me. By trusting me to know how to handle you and by leaving all your worries and your failures behind. With me, you’ll only be mine. My submissive, whose only worry will be how to please me. We’ll take everything else one step at a time. And what you said about me and my friends laughing at you—I swear to you that you never have to worry about me sharing who you are—who we are together—with anyone else! What we do is private and just for us unless we decide differently. No more clubs, or at least for now. We have everything we need right here.”
He closed his eyes, maybe letting the words sink in his brain. God, I hoped so.
He wrinkled his brow and frowned at me, so confused. I wanted to kiss those lines away, but that’s not what he needed from me. “I should be stronger, damn it,” he said. “I shouldn’t need your help!”
“You were amazing when you gave me your submission. I saw the moment on the dance floor when you gave in and decided to relax and let me handle it. When you let me take control, it wasn’t because you weren’t strong enough to withstand me, but because you chose to let me take over for both of us. Do you understand? You have a strong, powerful body—you’re smart and capable and can do anything you want to. But you chose to give me your control. Do you have any idea what that feels like for me? To have somebody like you give me your trust? There’s so much power in that. For both of us.”
He leaned back in my arms and looked up at me and his eyes searched my face for some trick, some lie. When he didn’t find any, he sighed and relaxed against me. I suddenly realized two things—he was still naked, and I had been hard since the moment I’d seen him in the shower.
His eyes were sultry and very blue as he gazed up at me. “Okay then,” he said. “What happens now?”
I took a deep breath and smiled at him. “Now we begin.”
Chapter Seven
Kingston
Then he kissed me and I forgot everything else in the world except the feel of his hot, eager mouth on mine, and oh shit, was that his tongue pushing against the corners of my mouth? I opened for him and he swept in, storming my barricades and knocking down all my defenses. This felt like a claiming and a part of my mind wondered how I felt about that. About being owned by my worst enemy. But he didn’t feel like my enemy and he had told me that what we did together was just for us. God, I wanted to believe that so much. I wanted something to share with just Memphis and nobody else in the world. I realized that I wanted to give him my trust.
The kissing began to turn urgent and grinding and I remembered how long it h
ad been since I’d been with anybody like this. Or maybe I’d never been with anybody like this before and had never known just what it could be like.
He pulled me even closer into his arms and the buttons on his shirt front rubbed the cuts on my stomach. I drew in a sharp breath at the sting and then moaned because it felt so good. He stopped, looking down at me. I was still breathless and panting as he leaned back with a last little nip at my bottom lip and stared into my eyes. He knew why I’d made that greedy sound. “I’m still so damned pissed off at you for hurting yourself.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, lifting my lips up to his again and trying to get him to kiss me, but he pushed me away and shook his head. My lips felt hot and swollen, and I knew my cheeks must be flushed and pink.
“Not enough. I need to make you really sorry you didn’t come to me for what you needed.”
“I…what?”
“I told you once that I could give you the pain you’re looking for. I think it’s time to show you what I was talking about.”
“Now?”
“Right now. Get up,” he said, and patted my ass, reminding me of just how naked I was.
On slightly shaky legs, I stood up and reached for the towel, but he shook his head. “No. I want you just like this. Go in the bedroom and stand by the foot of your bed.”
Nervously, sneaking looks at him over my shoulder, I went to the bedroom, feeling him right behind me. I leaned back into him seeking comfort and he let me, sliding an arm around my waist and moving his hand over my stomach and down to my cock. He was still fully dressed while I was so naked.
He passed a hand over my cock, and to my surprise and shame, I was already dripping. I looked down to see the white pearls of my arousal trembling on the tip of it and felt my cheeks flame. I glanced up at him and he smiled. “That’s so hot.” He stroked my cock a few times and my knees grew weak.
“No. You don’t come unless I let you. And that may be a while.”
“What if I come by accident?” I may have whined a little when I said it. He was still holding my cock in his hand and I pushed up into it.
“We’ll decide what to do when and if that time comes.” He bent to nip at my ear. “Fun for me either way. But no coming without permission.”
I groaned, already aching and pushed into his hand again. “Please…”
“No,” he said, stroking me again. His hand swept over the sensitive head and my knees sagged. He chuckled. “Rethinking those life choices a little bit now, aren’t you? No, and stop trying to get more. You’ll get just what I give you and nothing else. Bad boys don’t get to come.”
He nodded toward the foot of the bed. “Put your hands on those bed posts,” he ordered, “and keep them there until I tell you otherwise.” I hesitated for a moment, glancing back at him. He was still behind me, leaning in to kiss the side of my face. “I’m still here. Now grab those for me.”
I reached for them and held on and he kissed the back of my neck, then nudged my feet apart with his foot. “I’m going to my room for a few things I need. I’ll be right back, okay? In the meantime, show me how good you can be by standing as still as you can.”
I turned my head to watch him leave the room. Was I really going to do this? I felt a thrill of something like shame as I pictured how I must look, my hands spread out on the bed posts, my feet spread and my dripping cock sticking out in front of me, all hard and aching. It should have made me embarrassed and it did. But it also made me harder than I’d ever been before in my life.
I heard Memphis come back in the room and I turned to look at him. He was carrying one of his ties, a crimson one I’d seen him wear a few times at team functions where we had to dress up. It made me feel like squirming a little. He had two floggers in his hand too. One was softer looking with shorter strands. The other was heavier, and made of thick, braided leather. I’d had ones like the braided one used on me before, and they stung like a bitch. I shifted my feet restlessly, wanting, needing to feel them on my skin.
“Stand still, I said.” He rebuked me, coming up behind me. “Do I need to tie you?”
I couldn’t help the needy sound of a whimper that escaped my lips at the idea of being tied up and at his mercy.
“Oh, you like that, huh? Okay then. Stand still and I’ll go get the restraints.” I trembled as he left me again, feeling so alive and excited and shamed all at once. He came back quickly, and efficiently secured my wrists to the bedposts with leather cuffs. I tugged on them and saw they were strong and didn’t have any give in them.
“Don’t worry. You’re a strong boy, but they’ll definitely hold you there.”
I laughed, and it sounded a little manic. “Don’t you need my safeword?”
“Not really. If you say stop, I will.”
“All the other Doms I’ve been with have used them—are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
He smiled at me, and it looked a little like a shark smiling at his next victim. “Safewords are necessary when you’re playing with strangers. But if it makes you feel safer, use red. It’ll work for me. As for knowing what I’m doing…you’re about to find out. Do you trust me, fireball?”
I looked back over my shoulder at him and saw his eyes. There was truth in those eyes and strength. Strength I would need to rely on. I nodded. “Yes…Sir. I trust you. And for the record, I’ve never had to use my safeword.”
“You sound kind of proud of that.”
“I am…Sir.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t be. There’s nothing wrong with knowing your limits. In fact, I want you to.”
“I know what I’m doing. Sir.”
He nodded thoughtfully. “We’ll see.” He gave me a soft kiss at the back of my neck and a hard squeeze of my balls. So hard my knees buckled a little and I had to rely on the cuffs to hold me upright.
“Then let’s get started.”
I suddenly shivered and started feeling so nervous I thought I was going to die. What if this was all some kind of joke? What if he had cameras on me? What if he suddenly stopped and called out for the rest of the team to come in here and see me like this? What if…
“Stop it right now,” he said sternly, taking my chin in his hand and twisting my head around to make me look at him. “Whatever you’re thinking, just stop. It’s just me and you, and I’d never betray you. Do you want to stop? Use your safe word?”
I took a deep breath and shook my head. The truth was I was nervous. Not about the pain. I wasn’t at all afraid of being hurt—never had been, and I welcomed it. I looked forward to that part. I was intrigued by what was about to happen and I wondered if he really could give me the pain I needed to give me some relief. I needed to find out. To see if he was enough and if he could deliver on all those promises he’d made me.
“No, I don’t want to use it. I-I’m just being paranoid. Sorry…Sir.”
“I love your little hesitations, but I think it’s time to stop playing games now. If you have the ability to still concentrate on being a smartass, then you’re not focused on what we’re doing and I’m not doing my job. So be in this moment with me.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“I’ll give you a blindfold, too, I think. It will make you even feel more helpless, more like your whole world is controlled. You’ll have to trust me, Kingston.”
I nodded, but the idea frightened me. I didn’t want to be alone and tied up in the dark. “Memphis, please. I-I don’t…”
“I know you don’t.” He slipped the blindfold over my eyes and tied it behind my head. To my horror, I whimpered again and sagged back against him for comfort. He kissed my neck. “But this is what I want. So, you’ll do it to please me, won’t you?”
I bowed my head and sighed, a ragged sound. “Yes, Sir,” I said softly.
My cock twitched and a thrill of humiliation shot through me again. I was so aware of myself, tied here on the end of this bed, naked and blindfolded, my cock so hard it ached. Usually it was the pain that made me so aware. This
time, it was all Memphis. I pulled against the cuffs again and groaned.
“I like it when you struggle. But if you really want any of this to stop, you have to tell me or use your safe word. Say it for me now.”
“Red.”
“Do you want to use it?”
I didn’t. I shook my head, and he rewarded me with a few more strokes on my cock.
Finally, he moved away from me. I could feel his heat leaving my back and I whimpered for him, blindly trying to track his movements around the room. I could feel my cum sliding down my cock and a trickle of it running down my groin and the front of my leg. I reminded myself sternly that I couldn’t come. That was humiliating too, though I expected it. A lot of the Doms I played with told me not to come. Mostly I didn’t listen so they would punish me. And because I never really thought of them as my “Master.” I was always the one in charge, or at least, I had been up to now.
I felt the soft brush of the flogger strands against my ass. He began to strike me, laying down a pattern with the flogger that was light yet persistent, until I was suspended on the brightest, softest edge of pain. It wasn’t harsh at all like the bright sting of the blade, and I began to wonder if this was going to help me after all. Because this almost felt good. Warm and a little like a massage. The first five or ten strokes of the flogger weren’t anything I couldn’t easily handle, and while I knew he was warming up my skin and getting me ready for more, I began to doubt him again.
As if he knew what I was thinking, he began to use a bit more force, using a kind of pattern to his strokes like a figure eight and began to work his way up my back and shoulders. The edge of pain grew slightly sharper and I began to float away, feeling the beginning of the release the blade always brought me. I was moving to a place where the pain couldn’t touch me, though I wasn’t quite there yet. He changed floggers and moved back down to my ass and then back up to my shoulders. Now the sensation of pain became more intense. He moved down to my mid back and then to my ass again. And back up. And down. And again. Over and over, rhythmic and slow. Hypnotic and addictive. Time became fluid and dreamlike, and I had no concept of it. The pain was real, but just never enough to put me over the edge.